AN: tanks 4 all da gud reveuz! recntly i watched da hary pottr moovies again so i cud get ma fadcts strat.
"helo everabodi mah nam is magik jonson" sed magik jonson. WHAT.
"water u doin techin dis class" i sed
"im ur techer" sed magik jonson "dey duont call mi magik 4 noddin!1 wen i quit bascetball i bcam a techer at hogwats" i loked arond da room. dere wuz alot o niggas in dis class. an... DRACO!111 but he sat at da bak o da classrom.
"class 2day we will lurn how 2 sumon patronises" I don't think watching the movies helped you get your facts straight. Magic Johnson has nothing to do with Hogwarts, and you don't learn how to summon Patronuses until, like, fifth year…not to mention that there are a significantly low number of black children attending Hogwarts. Certainly not enough to fill up a whole class.
"wuz a patronis" i sed
"ull see" sed magik jonson.
so we went in2 da midle off da room
"normaly wen pracisin wit partorises we normally use dememtors... but seeing as how dis is a blak magik class" an he winked "were gonna use somtin alidle bit diferant" he went ova to da closet an opned in. an out came... A KLUKKLUCKSKLANMAN!1111 Kluk Klucks Klan? ROTFL! Here at the Kluk Klucks Klan, we love chickens. Bawk bawk buh-bawk!
so we all wnet up an did r patronises. ron did a snak. jenni did a egele. den i cam up an did a big o dragen. "DAZ AMAZING" sed magik jonson. Wow. Nice one.
den draco cam up an did a cjickin cuz he wuz a chikin. "dat wuz dum" sed magik jonson "u fail".(If only teachers could really say that…) drako wen bak 2 da bak of da room. He's going to join the Kluk Klucks Klan.
den da police came an arrestd me fo no reson. "wuz goin on" sed makig jonson. "ur under arrest" sed da cops. an dey tok me away an i wen to jail. Dose rassist ppl.
An: suzpensfl iznt it? nex chapta cummin soon.
N: im glad 2 see dat evry1 likd mi stori so i desided 2 rit da nex chapta now!111 WHO liked it? Besides me…I kind of like it…
i wuz in jail. it wuz cold but i had a cot an a toylet an mi romatez nam wuz kiwan. i wuz sad. I'm sorry, but this doesn't make any sense. They can't have arrested him for no reason, and he can't be randomly in jail without some sort of interrogation, yes?
"let mi out!11" i sed.
"no" he sed. Kiwan? He's the one not letting you out? WHAAA….
"why did yo put mi in here i didnt do aniting" i sed.
"bcuz ur a nigger an as u no we da police hate niggers" Kiwan's on the force?
"U CANT US DAT WORD" sed kiwan Oh, wait, it was another random character saying all that crap.
"yeh daz r word" i sed.
"nigger nigger niger" he sed an began 2 laff.
"well i no a word u mite like" i sed "DRAGEN!111111" den a dragen cam out. Do you mean Expecto Patronum? Really?
"!11111111111111111111111" he sed as the ragen began 2 eat him Patronuses don't eat people.
"hes a blak magicon!1" sed anodder gard. Blak Magicon? Is that a convention, like Otakon and Katsucon?
"den i gess well haf 2 tak away his wand!1" sed annoder. an dey did.
"now u cant us magic!1" sed kiwan "but i wish u did... dey dont feed niggas lik us in jail..."
den i had an idea. "du u lik fried chickin"
"sho i do" he sed "but not all blak ppl lik fried chikin. dat wud be rassist" Well, I'm glad he cleared that up. *points back to first chapter*
"ok" i sed an pointed at da grund an sed "fried chickin" an dere it was. What? Without a wand?
"hooooray!1111111111111111" sed kiwan. "ur da gratist wiserd iv eva nown!"
den... da fried chickin startd 2 chang... it wuz... VADERMORT!1111111111111 Nice going, Tuwwwrtle. You summoned Vadermort with your DAMN fried chicken.
"die" he sed but kiwan jumpd in da wai an his hed esploded!
"beep" sed vadermort Beep. BEEP. BEEP? BEEP! BEEP? BEEP? What the hell?
"turtle! get mi uzi! its i n mi left pokket!1" sed kiwan. an i did. an i shot bullets on vadermort. Kiwan's head already esploded! He can't be alive!
"IM DIING!" sed vadermort. blod wuz goin evrywere.
"never trust a blak wizard"(That is so rude. Lee Jordan is a perfectly nice young man, as is Dean Thomas.) i sed. an i sed "DRAGEN" an dere wuz more blod evrywere.
"AHHHH IM DIING EVEN MOR!11" sed vadermort. Technically, everyone is dying right now, so I suppose that statement is logical.
den he fel on da grund ded.
"U KILLD VADERMORT!111" sed harry potter who appeared out of nowhere.
"GUD JOB" sed magik jonson.
den snap cam up an sed "cum 2 mi oriface" *snicker snicker* SEXXXX…..
AN: but dunt worri dis is nut da last uv herd of darth vader!111 Au contraire…I believe Darth Vader, aka Anakin Skywalker, was killed in that movie with all the teddy bear midgets. (yes, yes, I know that 'midget' is a slur and the movie had a lot more than teddy bears in it.)