The Lodger

The TARDIS materialized in the middle of a quaint park and the Doctor jumped out, excited, only to pause and look around. He sighed, "No, Amy, it's definitely not the fifth moon of Sinda Callista."

"I told you!" the Professor's voice shouted out from inside the TARDIS, "Hence the genius of the environment check!"

He squinted, "I think I can see a Ryman's…"

Suddenly there was a blast from inside the TARDIS and the Doctor was knocked to the ground.

"Professor! Amy!" he jumped to his feet.

But the TARDIS disappeared.

"Professor!" he shouted, looking at where the TARDIS used to be, "Amy!"

~8~

Inside the TARDIS everything was out of control, the wires sparking, the entire ship jolting, sending them to the ground. The Professor pulled herself up and looked at the monitor, only to see the TARDIS taking off into the Vortex.

"It's taking off again," the Professor's eyes widened, trying to regain control but was unable to.

"Professor what's going on?" Amy shouted, trying to pull herself up.

"Just hold on!"

~8~

"I love you!" a slightly plump man with stubble shouted as he opened the front door to his home.

The Doctor, now wearing an earpiece, smiled as he looked up at him, "Well, that's good, 'cos I'm your new lodger. Do you know," he took the keys on a pink koosh ball key ring out of the man's hand, "This is going to be easier than I expected!"

"But I only just put the advert up today, I didn't put my address," the man shook his head, thinking about the ad he'd put out for a flatmate.

"Well, aren't you lucky I came along? More lucky than you know," he glanced up, "Less of a young professional, that's my wife, I'm more of an ancient amateur, but frankly I'm an absolute dream."

"Hang on, mate, I don't know if I want you staying, and give me back those keys, you can't have those!" he snatched back the pink key ring.

"Yes, quite right. Have some rent," he handed the man a small paper bag of cash, quite a bit of cash actually, "That's probably quite a lot, isn't it? Looks like a lot. Is it a lot? I can never tell, the Professor could," he stepped past the man and into the house, the man, still stunned, closed the door behind him. The lights flickered and the Doctor turned to him, "Don't spend it all on sweets. Unless you like sweets. I like sweets. Ooh, the Professor likes sweets too, loves them, but don't tell her I told you, it's her guilty pleasure," he gave the man two Gallic air kisses, "That's how we greet each other nowadays, isn't it? Well, doesn't really matter, that's how I greet anyone who's not the Professor, but she's a special case. Anyway, I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor, I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. Still don't know why."

"Craig Owens. The Doctor?"

"Yep. My wife's the Professor in case you were wondering."

Craig eyed him, the fact that he had mentioned a wife a few moments ago finally hitting him, "You're married?"

He nodded, glancing at the stairs, "Who lives upstairs?"

"Just some bloke."

"What does he look like?"

"Normal. He's very quiet…" there was a bang above them, "Usually. Sorry, who are you again? Hello?" the Doctor just ignored him and entered the flat, "Excuse me?"

He stopped and stared at the corner of the sitting room where a stain was spreading on the ceiling, "Ah! I suppose that's...dry rot?"

"Or damp. Or mildew."

"Or none of the above."

"I'll get someone to fix it."

"No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No," he winced, "The Professor doesn't like that, I'm the Doctor, don't call me the Rotmeister. This is the most beautiful parlor I have ever seen, you're obviously a man of impeccable taste," he moved over and sat on the countertop, "I can stay, Craig, can't I? Say I can."

"You haven't even seen the room."

"The room?"

"Your room."

"My room? Oh, yes, my room, my room. Haven't had a room to myself in ages, haven't really wanted to, don't really like being by myself..." he leaned forward to whisper, "I share with the Professor you see. But ah well, needs must. Take me to my room Craig!"

Craig eyed him oddly a moment before turning and leading him down the hall to a small bedroom, "Yeah, this is Mark's old room, he owns the place, moved out about a month ago. An uncle he'd never even heard of died and left a load of money."

The Doctor walked over and tested the bed, "How very convenient. This'll do just right. In fact..." there was more noise from above, "No time to lose. I'll take it. Ah...you'll want to see my credentials," he pulled out the psychic paper, "There...National Insurance number..." and switched hands behind his back, "NHS number..." and once again, "References..."

"Is that a reference from the Archbishop of Canterbury?"

"I'm his special favorite no matter what the Professor says," he put a finger to his lips, "Are you hungry? I'm hungry."

"I haven't got anything in."

The Doctor shrugged and walked out of the room and into the kitchen, looking through the refrigerator and cabinets with a smile, "You've got everything I need for an omelette fines herbes! Pour deux!" and quickly turned to cook, "Which is lucky for you, I make a mean omlette, better than the Professor, she even admitted it," he grinned widely at that before glancing up a moment later, at a picture on the side of the refrigerator, of Craig and another woman, "So who's the girl on the fridge?"

"My friend. Sophie."

"Girlfriend?"

"A friend who is a girl. There's nothing going on."

"Ah, that's completely normal. Gotta say though never tends to work for me. I mean, I like having friends and friends who are girls, but sometimes they...even with the Professor there and..." he shook his head, "Anyway...go on."

"We met at work about a year ago at the call center."

"Oh, really, a communications exchange? That could be handy."

"Firm's going down though. The bosses are using a totally rubbish business model. I know what they should do, I got a plan all worked out, but I'm just a phone drone, I can't go running in saying I know best…why am I telling you this? I don't even know you."

"I've got one of those faces. People never stop blurting out their plans while I'm around. They tell the Professor things too, but that's more under duress than anything."

"Duress?" Craig raised an eyebrow, a bit wary.

"Oh not anymore," he smiled, "She's much better now."

"Right…" he nodded slowly, "Where's your stuff?"

"Don't worry, it'll materialize, if all goes to plan."

~8~

The Professor sighed as she tried to get the TARDIS to materialize in the park once more, but it was fighting her, well, not really her, but fighting something that wouldn't let her land.

"Oh, which one, which one?" Amy shouted, "Professor which one was it again?"

She looked at the monitor, the numbers escalating as the TARDIS fought off the force, "Never mind just pull that one!" she pointed at the black knobbed lever by Amy's hand.

She did and the TARDIS calmed, if only just a bit.

~8~

Craig fell against the sofa, a smile on his face from the omelette he'd just eaten for dinner as the Doctor sat in a chair beside him.

"Oh, that was incredible!" Craig shook his head, "That was absolutely brilliant. Where did you learn to cook?"

"Paris, in the 18th century. No, hang on, that's not recent, is it? 17th? No, no, no, 20th. Sorry, I'm not used to doing them in the right order, I'm even worse without the Professor to keep me straight…"

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird?"

"They never really stop," he smiled, "Good thing the Professor likes weird. Ever been to Paris, Craig?"

"Nah, I can't see the point of Paris. I'm not much of a traveler."

"I can tell from your sofa."

"My sofa?"

"You're starting to look like it."

Craig laughed, "Thanks, mate, that's lovely! No, I like it here," he started to fiddle with the pink key ring, "I'd miss it, I'd miss..."

"Those keys?"

"What?"

"You're sort of...fondling them."

"I'm holding them," he set them on the sofa arm.

"Right."

"Anyway..." Craig got up and walked to a table by the door, fishing out another set of keys, "These...these are your keys."

"I can stay?" the Doctor got up and met him halfway across the room.

"Yeah, you're weird and you can cook, it's good enough for me," he held up each key, explaining them, "Right, outdoor, front door, your door."

"My door. My place. My gaff," he took the key, "Ha ha! Yes! Me with a key."

"And listen, Mark and I, we had an arrangement where if you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout, ok?" he winked.

The Doctor winked back and then asked, "Why would I want that?"

"In case you want to bring someone round," the Doctor still looked clueless, "Your wife…"

"Oh, she's on a...trip," he waved him off, "Just hanging around till she gets back."

Craig nodded, "Well, if she happens to get back early or something…"

"Oh, then I will," he nodded, "I'll shout if that happens. Yes. Something like...I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS! By the way, that...the rot," he glanced at it, "I've got the strangest feeling we shouldn't touch it," he gave Craig a meaningful look and left, heading down the hall to his new room. He quickly stepped in and flopped onto the bed, tapping the communicator in his ear. He could probably have just contacted the Professor mentally, but having to be the relay between him and Amy, repeating everything between the two, would make her, anyone really, irritable so they'd decided to go with the comm..

"Earth to Professor Pond, Earth to Professor Pond, come in, Professor Pond."

"Doctor!" Amy shouted, causing feedback, "Oh, sorry! "

"Could you not wreck my new earpiece, Pond?"

"Professor Pond, Doctor?" the Professor came on as well, "Really?"

"How's the TARDIS coping?"

"She's locked in a materialization loop," she sighed, "She's trying to land again but she can't."

"And whatever's stopping her is upstairs in that flat," Amy added, "So go upstairs and sort it!"

"Don't you dare," the Professor countered, "Don't you dare go up there before we figure out what it is we're dealing with."

"I know," he nodded to himself, smiling at her protectiveness as he stood on the bed, "It is vital that this 'man' upstairs doesn't realize who and what I am," he bounced a bit, "So no sonicing. No advanced technology. I can only use this," he tapped the earpiece, "'Cos we're on scramble," he jumped to the floor, "To anyone else hearing this conversation, we're talking absolute gibberish. All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?" he put on some sunglasses.

"Well then you've already failed," the Professor stated.

"Why?" he frowned.

"There's no such thing as an ordinary human," he smiled to himself, hearing the smile in her words.

"Too right you are."

"Besides," Amy cut in, "Have you seen you? The two of you are like the poster children for being aliens."

"So you're just going to be snide? No helpful hints?"

"Hmm, well, here's one...bow tie, get rid!"

The Doctor checked himself in the mirror, "Bow ties are cool," he heard the Professor snort as he put some sunglasses in his pocket, "Well then Amy, if I need to be a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do."

"They watch telly, they play football, they go down the pub…"

The Doctor wandered over to a book and flipped through it, "I could do those things! I don't, but I could!" there was a crash upstairs, "Hang on. Wait, wait, wait! Professor?" he heard Amy scream over the comm. as the TARDIS made a grinding noise. He looked over at the clocks, seeing the arms spinning around, and looked at his own watch, "Interesting. Localized time loop."

"Ow!" Amy complained as the TARDIS calmed, "What's all that?"

"Time distortion," the Professor answered and he heard her pull a lever.

"Whatever's happening upstairs is still affecting you," the Doctor nodded.

"It's stopped for now," the Professor called, "How about your end?"

"My end's good."

"So, doesn't sound great, but nothing to worry about?" Amy asked, hopeful.

"No, no, no, not really! Just keep the zigzag plotter on full, that'll protect you."

"I've told you time and time again," the Professor sighed, "It's not called the zigzag plot…"

The TARDIS jolted again, cutting her off.

Amy shrieked.

"Amy!" the Professor shouted, "Take two steps to your right and pull the lever!"

The Doctor listened intently, worried and tense, as the grating eased, "Everything alright?"

"For now," the Professor replied.

"Now, I must not use the sonic. I've got work to do, need to pick up a few items."

"Be careful!" the Professor shouted.

He nodded and tapped the earpiece off, heading out.

~8~

The Doctor walked backwards towards the house, pulling a shopping trolley full of odds and ends and junk. A cat meowed in the distance.

"Shh!" he hissed, "Don't get comfortable!" he pulled out the keys and unlocked the front door.

~8~

"Doctor!" Craig called, knocking on the bathroom door as the Doctor took a shower the next morning, singing some sort of Italian opera song.

"Hello?" he called back.

"How long are you going to be in there?"

"Oh, sorry, I like a good soak!" there was a bang above them and Craig said something he couldn't really hear, "What did you say?" silence, "Sorry?" he peeked around the curtain, "What did you say? Craig?" he grabbed a towel but slipped on the bathroom floor getting out. He winced, soap getting into his eyes as he sat up, "No choice...it's sonicing time," he reached out blindly for the sonic in the cup with the toothbrushes and grabbed it, running out of the bathroom, the towel wrapped around his waist. It slipped to the floor, "Oops!" he picked it up and ran off, wrapping it around him securely, and dashed into the hall, aiming the device in his hand up the stairs Craig was coming down, "What happened, what's going on?"

"Is that my toothbrush?" Craig frowned, looking at his electric toothbrush in the Doctor's hand.

"Correct. You spoke to the man upstairs?"

"Yeah."

"What did he look like?"

"More normal than you do at the moment, mate. What are you doing?"

"I thought you might be in trouble."

"Thanks," he laughed, "Well if I ever am, you can come and save me with my toothbrush."

The phone rang from inside and Craig moved to answer it. The Doctor cautiously started climbing up the stairs when the door behind him opened.

"Ooh!" a woman gasped. He turned around to see the woman from the refrigerator standing there, "Hello?"

"Ah! Hello! The Doctor," he moved downstairs, "Right. You must be Sophie."

"Mhmm," he gave her a Gallic air kiss, "Oh...oh!"

He glanced upstairs once more before turning and entering the flat, a surprised Sophie behind him.

"No, Dom's in Malta, there's nobody around," Craig was saying into the kitchen phone as the Doctor entered, "Hang on a sec," he turned to him, pressing the phone to his shoulder, "We've got a match today, pub league, we're one down if you fancy it?"

"Pub league?" he frowned, "A drinking competition? The Professor isn't very fond of me drinking, at least not since a slight incident at my graduation party..."

"No...football...play football?"

"Football. Football! Yes, blokes play football! I'm good at football, I think."

"You've saved my life!" he patted him on the cheek and picked up the phone again, "I've got somebody. Alright, see you down there. Hey, Soph."

"Hey," she smiled, glancing at the Doctor as he moved to the fridge and pulled out a container of milk, "I thought I'd come early and meet your new flatmate."

"Do you play, Sophie?" the Doctor asked, drinking from the carton.

"No, Soph just stands on the sidelines, she's my mascot," Craig smiled.

"I'm your mascot?" Sophie raised an eyebrow at him, "Mascot?"

"Well, not my mascot, it's a football match, I can't take a date."

"I didn't say I was your date."

"Neither did I."

They stood there in an awkward silence before the Doctor spoke again, "Better get dressed," he handed Craig the toothbrush back and headed into his room.

"Oh, the spare kit's just in the bottom drawer," Craig called.

"Bit of a mess," he muttered, closing the bedroom door as he entered only to open it a few moments later to look at Sophie, "You unlocked the door. How did you do that? Those are your keys," he nodded to the pink key ring in her hands, "You must have left them last time you came here."

"Yeah, but I..." Sophie frowned, "How do you know these are my keys?"

"I've been holding them," Craig admitted.

"I've got another set," she held up the second pair.

"You've got two sets of keys to someone else's house?" the Doctor asked.

"Yeah."

"I see! You must like it here too," he smiled at them before closing the door.

~8~

"So I'm going out," the Doctor said into the comm. as he put on his uniform, "If I hang about the house all the time, him upstairs might get suspicious, notice me."

"Football, ok, well done, that is normal," Amy agreed.

"Yeah, football, all outdoorsy. Now, football's the one with the sticks, isn't it?"

"Imagine Yertzu," the Professor cut in, "But with only one ball and no antigravity devices or walls around the field."

"Ah," he smiled, thinking of the reference to one of the games adopted on Gallifrey from a neighboring planet. It was played with three balls, two teams, arms and hands were the only body parts not allowed contact with the balls as you tried to kick it past the opposing team and into their goal station, it implemented angles and mathematics to bounce the ball off the walls and past the defenses, along with some antigravity devices that only allowed for higher jumps. If that's what football was like…it should be much easier than Yertzu.

~8~

The Doctor walked with Craig and Sophie through the park towards the field, wearing his uniform and tweed coat.

"What are you actually called, what's your proper name?" Craig asked.

"Just call me the Doctor," he replied.

"Yeah," Sophie laughed.

"I can't say to these guys, 'Hey, this is my new flatmate, he's called the Doctor,'" Craig stated.

"Why not?" the Doctor frowned.

"'Cos it's weird."

"Does that mean calling the Professor 'the Professor' is weird as well?"

"Who's the Professor?" Sophie asked, recalling he'd mentioned that person a few times since she'd met him.

The Doctor smiled, "My wife."

Her eyes widened, "You're married?"

He nodded.

"Alright, Craig!" a young black man called, spotting them and walking over, wearing the same blue uniform as Craig and the Doctor, "Soph. Alright, mate."

The Doctor shook the man's hand, "Hello, I'm Craig's new flatmate," he gave him a Gallic air kiss, "I'm called the Doctor."

"Alright, Doctor," the man laughed, "I'm Sean. Where are you strongest?"

"Arms."

"No, he means, what position?" Craig shook his head, "On the field?"

"Not sure. The front? The side? Below?"

"Are you any good though?" Sean frowned, growing worried.

He spun the ball on his fingertips, "Let's find out!" and kicked it out onto the field, following after it.

~8~

The Doctor had been surprisingly good, amazing in fact. He dominated the field, intercepting passes, scoring goals, even stealing a few penalty kicks as well. Eventually the entire crowd that had gathered was cheering for him as he won the game.

The team moved to gather around a bench, having a few celebratory drinks for the victory they had achieved thanks to the Doctor.

"You are so on the team!" Sean grinned at him, "Next week we've got the Crown and Anchor, we'll annihilate them!"

"No violence," the Doctor turned on him, suddenly all too serious, "Not while I'm around, not today, not ever. I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm and...you meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?"

"Yeah..."

"Lovely, what sort of time? Maybe the Professor will be back by then and can come."

"Who's the Professor?" one of the other men asked.

"My wife," he grinned.

"Your wife?" Sean gaped, "You're married?"

He tilted his head, "Why does everyone keep asking that?"

Craig sniggered a bit and moved to open his can when it spilled all over him, everyone laughed at that…but then it kept happening, over and over.

The Doctor looked around and dashed off a few feet, tapping his comm., "Professor? Amy?" he could hear the TARDIS shaking and grinding again.

"It's happening again!" the Professor grunted.

"Worse!" Amy added.

"What does the scanner say?" he asked.

"A lot of nines," the Professor called.

"Is it good that they're nines?" Amy asked, whether to him or the Professor he didn't know, "Tell me it's good that they're all nines!"

"Yes, yes, it's...it's good," he lied quickly, "Zigzag plotter, zigzag plotter, Amy!"

"Other lever!" the Professor shouted before Amy screamed and the Professor groaned, he could hear them being flung about. He winced, knowing the Professor's ribs still needed a bit more time to heal properly.

"Professor?" he called after a moment, "Amy? Are you there? Are you alright?"

"Yes," the Professor said a moment later, "She's calmed down.

"Hello," Amy added.

"Ah, thank heavens," he breathed, his hearts still racing, "I thought the TARDIS had been flung out of the Vortex with you inside it…lost forever."

"You mean that could actually happen?" Amy gasped, "We've got to get out of here!"

"Don't worry Amy," the Professor reassured her, "I can manage the TARDIS well enough till we figure out what's going on."

"How are the numbers?" the Doctor asked.

"All fives," Amy reported.

"Fives?" he glanced over to see the time loop had ended, "Better."

"But not by much," the Professor muttered.

He nodded to himself, "Still, it means the effect's almost unbelievably powerful and dangerous, but don't worry. Hang on, ok? I'll get you and Amy out," he added, more to the Professor, "I promise."

"I know you will," she told him softly, he could hear the smile in her voice.

He nodded to himself, determined, "I've got some rewiring to do."

"Don't blow up the house in the process," the Professor warned.

He winced, "That only happened once!"

~8~

The Doctor opened the door to his room, an orange traffic cone under his arm, as Craig knocked on the door, "Hello, flatmate," he grinned.

"Hey, man. Listen, Sophie's coming round tonight and I was wondering if you could give us some space?"

"Oh, don't mind me. You won't even know I'm here," there was a loud bang above them and he looked up, "That's the idea," he closed the door and ran back, grinning at his creation, "Yes, perfect! What a beauty!"

~8~

"Where's this going?" the Doctor heard Sophie ask as he crept into the sitting room where Craig and Sophie were, he just had to ask a quick question and then he'd be out of their hair.

"I think that we..." Craig began, he and Sophie leaning towards one another, "Should..."

"Hello!" he popped up, smiling at them, wires hanging around his neck.

"What?"

"Whoops, sorry, don't worry, I wasn't listening, in a world of my own down there."

"I thought you were going out?"

"Just reconnecting all the electrics, it's a real mess. Don't worry though, I promised the Professor I wouldn't blow up the house so…where's the on switch for this?" he held up an average screwdriver.

"He really is on his way out," Craig told Sophie.

"No, I don't mind, if you don't mind," Sophie grinned.

"I don't mind, why would I mind?" Craig asked sarcastically, upset.

Sophie, having missed that, turned to the Doctor, "Then stay, have a drink with us."

"What, do I have to stay now?" the Doctor frowned, confused.

"Do you want to stay?" Craig asked.

"I don't mind."

"Ok!" Sophie beamed.

"Great!" Craig sighed.

~8~

The Doctor was sitting on a sofa chair, working on the wires, while Sophie and Craig sat on the sofa, sipping wine.

"'Cos life can seem pointless, Doctor," Sophie sighed, "Work, weekend, work, weekend. And there's six billion people on the planet doing pretty much the same."

"Six billion people?" the Doctor eyed them, "Watching you two at work, I'm starting to wonder where they all come from."

"What? What do you mean by that?"

"So, the call center," he covered, "That's no good? What do you really want to do?"

"Don't laugh. I only ever told Craig about it. I want to work looking after animals. Maybe abroad? I saw this orangutan sanctuary on telly."

"What's stopping you?"

"She can't, you need loads of qualifications," Craig remarked.

"Yeah, true," Sophie nodded, "Plus it's scary, everyone I know lives round here. Craig got offered a job in London, better money, didn't take it."

"What's wrong with staying here? I can't see the point of London."

"Well, perhaps that's you, then," the Doctor shrugged, "Perhaps you'll just have to stay here, secure and a little bit miserable until the day you drop. Better than trying and failing, eh?"

"You think I'd fail?" Sophie frowned.

"Everybody's got dreams, Sophie, very few are going to achieve them, so why pretend?" he sipped some wine and then spit it out, back into his glass, disgusted, "Perhaps, in the whole Universe, a call center is where you should be?"

"Why are you saying that? That's horrible."

"Is it true?"

"Of course it's not true. I'm not staying in a call center all my life, I can do anything I want!" the Doctor smiled, "Oh!" Sophie gasped, "Yeah! Right!" she bumped her fist with him and turned to Craig, "Oh, my God! Did you see what he just did?"

"No, what's happening?" Craig shook his head, "Are you going to live with monkeys now?"

"It's a big old world, Sophie," the Doctor remarked, "Work out what's really keeping you here, eh?"

"I don't know," she sighed, "Dunno."

"But also," he added, "Think very carefully of what you're leaving behind, 'cos sometimes…" he trailed off a bit in thought, "Sometimes it can be the best thing that'll ever happen to you and if you leave, you'll spend every moment of forever wishing for another chance."

Sophie looked at him intently, thinking on his words, frowning as she heard a pain behind his voice, but then…he started to smile as though he himself had gotten that second chance, though she had no idea just how right she was.

~8~

The Doctor smiled as he looked at the large, ungainly device he'd created from the bits and pieces he'd collected. It was set up on the bed frame and spun around wobbly, nearly whacking him as it turned.

"Right," he tapped his earpiece, "Shield's up. Let's scan!"

"What are you getting?" the Professor asked.

He looked over at a digital clock, reading it, "Upstairs. No traces of high technology. Totally normal. No, no, no, no, it can't be! It's too normal."

"Only for you could too normal be a problem," Amy remarked, "You said we could be lost forever. Just go upstairs."

"Without knowing what he's facing and get himself killed?" the Professor remarked, "No. The only one allowed to kill him is me."

"Thanks dear," the Doctor laughed, before shaking his head at the device, "If I could just get a look in there...hold on," he reached out and stopped the device spinning, "Use the data bank, get…"

"The plans of the building?" the Professor asked, "The history, the layout, everything?" he blinked, "Already on it," he could hear the smirk in her voice. He should have known, she'd always been fond of looking up the layouts of the places they landed in.

"Good, in the meanwhile, I shall recruit a spy," he grinned.

~8~

The Doctor walked into the flat later on the next day, and what a day it had been! First he'd found Craig nearly dead having touched the stain and been poisoned. Then he'd gone to Craig's work, filling in for him during the planning meeting, only for Craig to rush in later on. He felt a bit bad that Craig had been so out of the loop, he hadn't even known Sophie had managed to find a wildlife organization that would hire her to start small with them. But…he'd gotten to work in an office! A real office, first day on the job, on any job really. It had been a wonderful experience.

Just then he noticed a cat coming down the stairs from the upper level, meowing.

"Have you been upstairs?" he asked it, the cat meowing again, "Yes?" and another deep throaty one. He picked it up and moved to sit on the stairs, petting it, "You can do it. Show me what's up there? What's behind that door? Try to show me. Oh, that doesn't make sense! Ever see anyone go up there? Lots of people? Good, good. What kind of people? People who never come back down. That's very bad," he heard the door open and looked up as Craig stepped in, "Oh, hello!"

"I can't take this anymore!" Craig shouted, "I want you to go!" he turned and stormed back into the flat, the Doctor following, confused. He grabbed the paper bag of money and thrust it back to him, "You can have this back and all."

"What have I done?"

"For a start, talking to a cat."

The Doctor tossed the bag over his shoulder, "Lots of people talk to cats. The Professor does, she loves cats, don't know why, I'm much more of a dog person myself but..."

"Everybody loves you," Craig cut in, getting frustrated with the Doctor's ramblings, "You're better at football than me, and my job, and now Sophie's all 'Oh, monkeys, monkeys!' and then..." he turned and strode down the hall to the Doctor's room and threw the door open, "There's that!"

"It's art!" the Doctor rushed in, standing in front of the spinning device, "A statement on modern society, 'Ooh, ain't modern society awful?'" he stopped it spinning.

"Me and you, it's not gonna work out. You've been here three days, the three weirdest days of my life."

"Your days will get a lot weirder if I go!"

"I thought it was good weird, but it's not, it's bad weird! I can't do this anymore!"

"I can't leave this place. I'm like you, I can't see the point of anywhere else. Madrid, hah, what a dump! I have to stay."

"No, you don't, you have to leave!"

"I can't go!"

"Just get out!" he moved to push the Doctor but he just grabbed Craig by the lapels.

"Right! Only way! I'm going to show you something, but shh, really, shh! Oh, I am going to regret this. Ok, right...first, general background!" he head butted Craig, falling back and grabbing his head in pain as did Craig as he saw the Doctor's past.

He gasped, pointing at the Doctor, "You're a..."

"Yes."

"From..." he pointed up.

"Shh."

"You've got a TARDIS!"

"Yes. Shh!" he motioned to his face, "Eleventh! Right...ok, specific detail!" he head butted him again, showing why he was there in the first place, finding notes from Amy for him to follow, leading him there.

"You saw my ad in the paper shop window."

"Yes, with this right above it," he showed Craig the note Amy had written, "Which is odd, because Amy hasn't written it yet. Time travel, it CAN happen."

"That's a scanner!" he pointed to the device on the bed, "You used non-technological technology of Lammasteen."

The Doctor clapped a hand over Craig's mouth, "Shut up!" and then grabbed his head, "Argh! I am never, ever doing that ever, ever again..." he tapped the earpiece.

"Doctor!" the Professor shouted over it, just knowing something had happened, "What did you do this time?"

"Basic memory sharing," he replied, "It's fine."

"That's the Professor!" Craig gasped, "Your Bonded!"

"Doctor?" Amy asked, "What's going on?"

"That's Amy Pond!"

"Oh, of course, you can understand us now, hurrah," the Doctor rolled his eyes, "Got those plans yet?"

"Still searching for them!" the Professor sighed, whatever was upstairs was creating quite a bit of interference.

"I've worked it out with psychic help from a cat."

"Cat?" Amy asked.

"See not all cats are evil!" the Professor called, triumphant.

"Yes, yes," he nodded, "I know. Anyway, he's got a time engine in the flat upstairs. He's using innocent people to try and launch it. Whenever he does, they get burnt up, hence the stain..."

"From the ceiling?" Craig frowned.

"Well done, Craig. And you two nearly get thrown off into the Vortex. "

"Lovely!" Amy groaned.

"Doctor it's starting again," the Professor warned just as a loud crash came from above them.

"People are dying up there?" Craig gasped, before getting caught in the loop, "People are dying. People are dying."

"Professor!" he shouted, "Amy!" he listened intently as they were thrown around.

"They're being killed!" the loop broke and Craig turned to him.

"Someone's up there," the Doctor realized, running out of the room followed by Craig, running up the stairs.

"Doctor!" Amy called.

"Hang on! Craig, come on...someone's dying up there."

"It's Sophie!" Craig shouted, seeing her keys hanging in the door lock, "It's Sophie that's dying up there, it's Sophie!"

"Doctor!" the Professor shouted "Stop!"

The Doctor reached the door at the top of the stairs and soniced the lock as Craig called, "Where's Sophie?"

"Wait, wait!" he hushed, "Professor?"

"Are you upstairs?" Amy asked.

"Just going in!"

"But you can't be upstairs," the Professor told him.

"Of course I can be upstairs!"

"Come on!" Craig urged him.

"No!" the Professor reported, "We've got the plans, you can't be upstairs, it's a one-story building."

"There is no upstairs!" Amy added.

The Doctor and Craig looked at each other before the sonic beeped and the lock broke. They shoved their way into the flat, spotting a large empty, disused space, with a small control panel in the center of the room composed of four small panels with an orb on each panel, six large claw-like supports around it.

"What?" Craig breathed.

"What?" the Doctor agreed as they walked in, "Oh. Oh, of course! The time engine isn't IN the flat, the time engine IS the flat! Someone's attempt to build a TARDIS."

"No, there's always been an upstairs."

"Has there? Think about it!"

"Yes. No. I don't..."

"Perception filter. It's more than a disguise. It tricks your memory."

Sophie screamed as she was pulled from the corner of the room towards the controls, electricity crackling out from one of the orbs to her hand, pulling her in.

"Sophie!" Craig ran to her, "Sophie! Oh, my God, Sophie!" he grabbed her, trying to pull her back.

"Craig!" the Doctor told him, "It's controlling her. It's willing her to touch the activator."

"It's not going to have her!"

The Doctor turned to the panel, using the sonic on it as Sophie touched it, screaming, "Ah! Deadlock seal!"

"You've got to do something!"

The device suddenly let her go and she fell back into Craig.

"What? Why's it let her go?" he looked around, spotting the dried up skeleton of the previous victim, when a hologram of an old man appeared in the center of the room.

"You will help me," it stated.

"Right! Stop! Crashed ship, let's see. Hello, I'm Captain Troy Handsome of International Rescue. Please state the nature of your emergency."

"The ship has crashed. The crew are dead. A pilot is required."

"You're the emergency crash program. A hologram. You've been luring people up here so you can try them out," he soniced the hologram and it changed to a little girl, a younger man, and then the old man who first greeted them.

"You will help me, you will help me, you will help me."

"Craig!" Sophie gasped awake, "Where am I?"

"Hush!" the Doctor snapped, turning back to the hologram, "Human brains aren't strong enough, they just burn. You're stupid, aren't you? You just keep trying."

"17 people have been tried," it reported, "6,000,400,026 remain."

"Seriously, what is going on?" Sophie stood.

"Oh, for goodness sake," the Doctor looked at her, "The top floor of Craig's building is, in reality, an alien spaceship intent on slaughtering the population of this planet. Any questions? No? Good."

"Yes, I have questions."

"The correct pilot has now been found," the hologram stated.

"Yes, I was worried you'd say that," the Doctor sighed.

"He means the Doctor doesn't he?" Amy asked over the comm. to the Professor.

"Unfortunately yes," she answered.

Fingers of energy shot out from the orb nearest him and began to pull the Doctor in, "The correct pilot has been found," the hologram repeated, "The correct pilot has been found."

"What's happening?" Amy gasped as the TARDIS shook.

"It's pulling him in," the Professor replied.

"I'm the new pilot!" the Doctor struggled to resist.

"Could he do it?" Amy asked, "Could he fly the ship safely?"

"No, he's too much for that ship to handle. His hand touches that panel, the planet doesn't blow up, the whole solar system does."

"Oi!" the Doctor snapped, "You know I am still here!" he pulled back, halting his hand inches above the glowing panel.

"The correct pilot has been found."

"No...worst choice ever, I promise you. Stop this!"

"Professor" Amy shrieked, "It's getting worse."

"I know!" she shouted, grunting as she tried to pilot the TARDIS.

The Doctor's mind raced, trying to think of a way to stop the program and save the Professor and Amy, and then it hit him, "It doesn't want everyone. Craig it didn't want you!"

"I spoke to him and he said I couldn't help him!" Craig nodded.

"It didn't want Sophie before but now it does. Why? What's changed?" he groaned in pain, realizing, "No! I gave her the idea of leaving! It's a machine that needs to leave, it wants people who want to escape! And you don't want to leave, Craig, you're Mr. Sofa Man. Craig, you can shut down the engine. Put your hand on the panel and concentrate on why you want to stay!"

"Craig, no!" Sophie gasped.

"Will it work?" Craig looked at him.

"Yes!" he shouted.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Is that a lie?"

"Of course, it's a lie!"

"It's good enough for me. Geronimo!" he slapped his hand onto the panel and screamed as the energy coursed through him, the ship releasing the Doctor.

"Craig!" Sophie shrieked.

The Doctor ran over to him, "Craig, what's keeping you here? Think about everything that makes you want to stay here! Why don't you want to leave?" he slapped him.

"Sophie!" he shouted, "And I don't want to leave Sophie! I can't leave Sophie! I love Sophie!"

"I love you, too, Craig, you idiot!" Sophie strode over and slapped her hand down on the panel with Craig's, causing the ship to start to smoke and spark.

"Honestly, do you mean that?"

"Of course I mean it! Do you mean it?"

"I've always meant it. Seriously though, do you mean it?"

"Yes."

"But what about the monkeys?"

"Oh, not now, not again!" the Doctor cut in, "Craig, the planet's about to burn! For God's sake, kiss the girl!"

"Kiss the girl!" Amy and the Professor shouted.

Craig and Sophie kissed, their hands sliding off the panel as it shorted out.

"Doctor!" the Professor laughed as he heard the TARDIS calm down.

"You've done it!" Amy cheered, "Ah ha, you've done it!"

"Just zeros!" the Professor reported, "Now it's minus ones, minus twos, minus threes..."

"Big yes!"

"Help me," the hologram started to shift through its phases, "Help me. Help me. Help me."

"Big no!" the Doctor's eyes widened.

"Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me."

"Did we switch it off?" Craig pulled away from Sophie and looked over at him.

"Emergency shutdown," he shouted, "It's imploding, everybody out, out, out!"

"Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me."

Craig, Sophie, and the Doctor ran out of the ship and down the stairs, out of the house as it began to shake. They ran across the street and turned to look back, watching as the perception filter disappeared to reveal the ship. Moments later it disappeared as well, blinking out. Neighbors just strolled by, not even noticing.

"Look at them," Craig remarked, "Didn't they see that? The whole top floor just vanished."

"Perception filter," the Doctor smirked, "There never was a top floor."

~8~

The Doctor paused by the sitting room to look in, seeing Craig and Sophie kissing on the sofa, before smiling and moving to leave, gently placing the keys on the side table.

"Oi!" Craig called as he and Sophie walked over to him, making him turn back to them.

"What, you're trying to sneak off?" Sophie asked.

"That's the Doctor for you," a voice replied.

Craig and Sophie looked over at the door, Craig recognizing the girl standing there as the Professor.

She smiled and walked over, "Hello," she shook their hands, "I'm the Professor," Sophie's eyes widened as she met the infamous Doctor's wife, "I just wanted to thank you for keeping an eye on him for me…"

"They weren't my babysitters," the Doctor rolled his eyes but put his arm around her shoulder.

"Please," she leaned into him, missing him, "Watching over you is a fulltime job," she smirked, giving him a peck, "I just happen to do it while being your wife as well, kill two birds with one stone."

He pouted, "I'm not THAT bad."

She smiled, "Just think, it means I get to spend every moment I can with you."

He pondered that a moment, "Ok, perhaps I AM that bad."

She laughed and shook her head, turning back to the stunned couple before her, "But seriously though, thank you."

"And thank you," Craig nodded, "The both of you," he walked over to the side table and picked up the Doctor's keys, holding them out to him, "I want you to keep these."

"Thank you," he took them, "'Cos I might pop back soon, have another little stay."

"Better bring me next time," the Professor nudged him.

Craig laughed, "But you won't pop back. I've been in your head, remember? But I still want you to keep them."

"Thank you, Craig," he nodded.

"Thank you, Doctor," Craig countered.

"Sophie."

"6,000,400,026 people in the world," the Professor looked at them, taking the Doctor's hand, "That's the number to beat."

"Yeah," Sophie laughed.

The Doctor gave the Professor's hand a squeeze, smiling at the couple before heading out the door. As soon as it shut behind them, he pulled the Professor into a kiss, very happy to have her in his arms again and out of danger. The Professor pulled away, beaming at him, as she took his hand and pulled him off.

~8~

"Back in time!" the Doctor cheered as he set the TARDIS controls with the Professor, looking at Amy, "You need to go to the paper shop, leave that note for me."

"Right little matchmaker, aren't you?" Amy laughed, "Can't you find me a fella?"

"Oh, rectifier's playing up again..." the Professor mumbled, checking the settings, "Hold on…" she turned and headed down the stairs to check under the console.

"You write the note and I'll change that will," the Doctor called to Amy, walking off to the upper level.

"You got a pen?" Amy asked.

"Make sure it's a red pen!"

Amy rolled her eyes and moved to search the Doctor's jacket pockets, only to pull out a small box with an engagement ring inside it. She opened it, staring at it with a frown on her face.

The Professor looked up through the floor, hearing Amy grow silent, and watched as she stared at the familiar ring inside.

A/N: I sort of felt like the Professor had been getting a bit of spotlight during this story so I thought a nice, semi-Professor-lite chapter would be refreshing. But with how flirty she and the Doctor are, I couldn't help but throw in the references to her. It's like the Doctor said at the beginning of The Vampires of Venice, she's all he really thinks about so she would be on his mind even more when she's not there :)

And wow! I can't believe this story will be over in only 4 days! And then we get Series 6, who River Song is, and the game changing decision!