Wow, this chapter was extremely fun to write. I'm not sure why I included a dream sequence; probably to give a less awkward segue into Lucifer's encounter with youknowwho. I think it also kind of speaks volumes about his character. Misery really is all he's got. Without that, what is he?
Chapter 9
Real Monsters Wear Red
"Your Heinous, everyone's assembled outside the factory walls like you wanted." The green troll fell to his knees and bowed down. "Everything's ready for you."
The towering, muscular red devil monster stood with his back turned, gazing at himself in a tall mirror, admiring his own strength and adjusting his suit. "Good, now get out of my sight you sniveling worm."
The green troll crawled on his knees to the door and then scurried out of the room.
The handsome red devil monster felt a smile tugging on his face. He checked himself one last time in the mirror.
Tall. Gorgeous. Brilliant. All packed into a staggering 7 ft body with a glorious set of 2 ft. tall horns and huge, rippling muscles. And his brown business suit made him look even more magnificent than usual. "Showtime."
He began walking toward the door. Outside, along the corridor, was a long line of his Minotaur guards, all bowing toward him. "Hurry up you idiots; we don't want to keep everyone waiting now do we?" He felt the smile spreading across his face getting stronger, but suppressed it. He didn't want to show his joy until after the big surprise.
The guards followed their exalted leader down the central hallway of the factory, leading to Misery Inc.'s main entrance. He stepped outside and felt an explosion of heat from the three monstrous suns positioned dead center in the sky. There were no clouds to block their rays from roasting the citizens. What a miserable day indeed!
He continued walking, slowly starting to hear the huge crowd of monsters on the other side of the wall. His ears were trembling with excitement, but again he forced it down and hid it. He didn't want to look too happy.
Finally, he reached the base of the wall and looked up. The wall was about 70 feet tall, perfect for looking over the rat heap of slaves also known as civilians. He took a step back and snapped his fingers. In a flash, two huge screeching monster birds swooped down and flew him up to the top of the wall. As soon as he stepped into sight of the crowd below, the noise and clamor all vanished. It was as if the mere sight of the tall, red devil monster was enough to command fear and respect. But mostly fear.
The tall, muscular red devil monster stepped forward, positioning himself at the edge of the wall and overlooking the crowd of terrified monsters who were all wrapped in dead silence. These assemblies usually meant bad news for them.
The red devil looked around. Everyone's eye was trained on him and all his glory, as it should be. He snapped his fingers at the two birds hovering overhead.
WHOOSH. They dove back down toward the factory and came back with Samael in their claws, dropping him hard on the top of the wall next to the powerful Heinous.
The troll quickly groveled and fell on his knees. "A-ah sir! E-Everyone's ready for your big announcement."
"Great, then why haven't you INTRODUCED ME YET YOU BLUBBERING FOOL?" The red devil kicked his foot right into the bowing troll's face.
Samael quickly picked himself up and bowed again. "O-Oh I'm so s-sorry your Heinous! Thank you so much for punishing me. I'm not worthy to be kicked by your divine feet." He began kissing the red devil's shoes, ignoring the terrible pain he felt in his mouth.
"Sometime TODAY Samael!" The tall devil snarled.
"O-Oh yes, of course your Heinous."
The troll wiped the blood from his now swelling mouth and faced the quivering crowd of monsters. "ATTENTION ALL YOU WORTHLESS SACKS OF NOTHING!" Samael shouted from the massive wall. "KINDLY GET ON YOUR KNEES AND BOW DOWN TO YOUR SUPREME GOD OF DESTRUCTION AND MISERY: LUCIFER HEINOUS THE SEVENTH!"
The entire crowd of pathetic monsters began bowing; no one in their right mind would dare cross the merciless devil.
"Thank you Samael, now move it."
The red devil kicked the troll off the wall, sending him plunging to the ground. "That's better, now then." The magnificent red devil cleared his throat and tried to hide the peppiness in his voice as he addressed the crowd of monsters. "GREETINGS MISERYVILLIANS! AS I'M SURE YOU'RE ALL AWARE, MISERYVILLE HAS BEEN PARTICULARLY MISERABLE LATELY!"
The crowd stayed silent. It wasn't everyday that Lucifer was satisfied with the level of misery in Hell. Whenever the Misery index was at its highest, he would normally complained and demand for it to go higher.
"NOW I, LUCIFER HEINOUS THE SEVENTH, AM A KIND AND MERCIFUL RULER! THEREFORE, I'M GOING TO GIVE EVERYONE A REPRIEVE! AS A REWARD FOR ALL THE MISERY YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH!"
The crowd remained silent, all stunned that they were being shown any kind of mercy. And from Lucifer of all monsters! Then, a small shout of joy rang up from the noiseless sea of monsters. "HOORAY!"
It was that skinny, smiley little idiot boy with no claws or scales or fur or anything. He was jumping up and down like a moron, smiling with that annoying beam of… OPTIMISM.
Lucifer felt dirty at the mere mention of that word.
It seemed that the boy's moronic cheering was highly infectious. In a few seconds, the entire crowd was jumping and cheering. Mothers were kissing their babies, children were jumping into group hugs with their families, and everyone began cheering the ultimate ruler of Hell. "WOOHOO! THREE CHEERS FOR LUCIFER HEINOUS THE SEVENTH!"
The red devil broke into a smile at the deafening cheering. Seeing everyone so happy was going to make this so much sweeter. He cleared his throat again. Now he had to boom his voice over the thunderous celebration from down below.
"THANK YOU, THANK YOU! YOU'RE TOO KIND! NOW THEN, FOR YOUR GENEROUS REPRIEVE, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU ALL A FIVE SECOND HEAD START!"
The roaring celebration from the crowd of monsters instantly began to die down. A five second head start? From what?
The smiling red devil rolled up his suit's sleeve and began counting down on his wristwatch, "FIVE… FOUR…"
The crowd's smiles had since vanished, and some monsters had actually begun to sense just what was happening.
Lucifer reached into his brown suit's pocket, and pulled out a small remote control. He flexed his finger near a large red button positioned on the control's center. "THREE… TWOOOOOO…"
The enormous crowd of monsters began to flee in all different directions, screaming and running for their lives; unsure of what was coming for them. All they knew is that whatever they were getting a head start from, they didn't want it to catch them.
"ONNNNEEEEEE!"
The merciless red devil's finger pressed down hard on the large red button. In an instant, the humongous concrete gates of the Misery Inc. factory flew open. Huge, unholy creatures came flooding out, catching sight of the terrified monsters and sprinting in order to seize and tear them limb from limb.
With the creatures free, Lucifer could finally let all the giddiness he had bottled up before go. "BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-" He laughed with delight at the carnage he was witnessing from a first-class seat. Seeing everyone being hunted down and slaughtered by his beasts was enough to bring tears of joy to his face. He closed his eyes and took in the bloody screams of thousands being shredded and eaten at once. He bit his lip, trying to savor the sweet melody of torture and despair echoing the space before the factory walls. He could see children being ripped apart right in front of their parents, and shrieking families being chewed and mashed out in the gaping jaws of his ferociously perfect creatures. Blood, tears, desolation, hopelessness, and misery. Sweet, sweet misery everywhere he looked. And he stood above all of it, in all of his Heinous glory. "Today couldn't possibly get any better."
It was then that he felt a tap on his shoulder. Lucifer hurriedly turned his head, nearly jumping up with surprise. How could anyone else reach him 70 ft above the ground while his beasts were wreaking so much chaos below?
It was his fat, lazy, good-for-nothing, teenage disappointment: Beelzebub.
"Beelzebub? How in Satan's wretched name did you-"
"Dad," The overweight devil cut his father off abruptly, "I just wanted to tell you that I know I've always been a huge disappointment, so I'm going to go freeze myself in the basement. That way, you can rule over Miseryville forever without having to deal with my stupidity anymore."
Lucifer just stood there for a few moments, stunned. For the first time in centuries, he was speechless. "Beelzebub… I-"
"Your Heinous?"
The red devil turned his head again and saw his worthless assistant, battered and covered with blood. Part of Samael's arm and face had been torn off.
"How is everyone getting up here? We're 70 feet above the ground!" Lucifer sounded with annoyed confusion.
"Your majesty," the blood soaked troll got onto his knees and bowed his head before the increasingly confused devil, "The Misery index has reached its highest point in Heinous history. You are now the most evil and heartless Heinous to ever exist."
The wide-eyed red devil just stood there. "Um, great… I guess."
He knew he should be smiling. Even laughing maniacally at this news. His disappointment of a son getting rid of himself and his new status as the most feared and misery inducing Heinous in history should have been making him jump for joy, but something felt… off.
He looked back over the wall to see the carnage and mayhem that he was missing, but to his surprise, there were no screaming monsters or satanic creatures spraying the city with blood. There was nothing. Any trace of the massacre he had unleashed had vanished. There was just an empty space of land leading up to Miseryville's suburbs.
"W-Wha… WHAT HAPPENED?" Lucifer screamed with rage. "Samael, where is everyone? Where are all the monsters I assembled? Where are my hell-beasts? What happened to all the screaming? The blood? The MISERY?"
He turned to release his rage on the small green troll, but saw no one there. "Samael? Where did you go?"
Lucifer turned to face his disappointment of a son, but he was no longer there as well. "B-Beelzebub? …Hello?"
He looked around for any sign of life at all. "…Anybody?"
He couldn't see a shred of movement coming from the 'burbs or the city. No cars on the roads, no monsters running around; not even a single animal scurrying on the ground. He turned toward the factory and looked down. All the minions that had followed him out of the factory were nowhere in sight as well.
He found himself standing on top of the wall, completely alone. There were no monsters for him to terrorize, or minions to kick around. His son wasn't there for him to lash out at, or even his sweet Coochie Long-Ears for him to cuddle with. He felt so alone. So empty. So miserable.
The red devil held back a depressed sigh. He plopped down at the edge of the wall and looked over himself. He was no longer impressively tall, but back to his normal, small stature. His beautiful two foot long horns had reverted back to their originally pitiful stubs. The superb muscles on his body had disappeared, leaving him with his regular, puny arms that could barely lift a pound. All that was left was the gloomy, arrogant, short, bald red-devil monster with stubby horns and non-existent muscle-toned body.
"This couldn't possibly get any worse." The red devil sighed with a depressed breath.
He closed his eyes and cried. Without misery and pain to inflict on anyone, he had nothing. He was nothing. He felt like jumping off the wall when the ground began shaking. It was making the wall underneath him vibrate a little. Bam.
"What in the name of misery is going on? A Hellquake?"
The rumbling became more violent. Lucifer's body began vibrating along with the shaking wall, which was beginning to break apart.
Bam. BAM.
Lucifer could hear a low-key explosive sound in the distance, but he couldn't tell where it was coming from exactly. Every time he heard the noise, the ground shook more ferociously.
BAM.
The wall was beginning to give way now; he could feel it breaking apart under his feet.
BAM. KABOOM!
The wall crumbled. Lucifer fell toward the ground along with hundreds of pieces of concrete rubble that were about to crash down right on top of him.
BAM. BAM. BAM!
Lucifer's eyes shot open; his throat closed tight from trying to suppress his terrified scream. He sprang up from under his sheets and looked around frantically in the dark. As his eyes adjusted to the dimness around him, he slowly realized that he had been asleep in his bed the entire time. "What a horrible dream. And it started out so wonderfully too." He rubbed his tired, tear soaked eyes, still feeling his heart thumping from his awful nightmare. "Misery nibblets… what time is it? *YAWN*" He turned his head towards his digital clock. "4:22 A.M.?"
The red devil dragged his tired body out of his large bed and struggled to keep his eyes open. Whatever was disturbing him this early in the morning was going to get it. "SAMAEL!"
He waited a few seconds for his worthless assistant to come groveling into his bedroom, but Samy never came.
"HELLOOOOO? AM I TALKING TO MYSELF HERE?" He shouted with piercing anger.
Again, he heard no response. No scurrying feet heading towards his room or anything.
"Well this is just perfect," he muttered as he stomped toward his bedroom door, "I get woken up at four in the morning and my stupid assistant is sleeping on the job."
The annoyed red devil threw his door open and made his way to the staircase. He was nearly at the bottom when something made him jump.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Lucifer's heart nearly flew out of his chest. "What the heaven was that?"
It was the pounding sound that had woken him up. It sounded like something was trying to bust his door down. He slowed his pace, a little less in a hurry to reach the front door.
BAM! BAM!
The mansion shook from the forceful beating on the door; just like the heavy rumbling in his dream. Whoever was pounding on his door definitely seemed angry. That or just very determined to get in.
He made it to the huge entrance hall on the first floor of the mansion and tip-toed to the large ornate door. The banging seemed to have stopped.
"*YAWN* Well good. Whoever it was probably wised up and ran. They wouldn't have wanted to deal with me when I'm in a bad mood." He turned around, eager to get back to his warm bed, when another annoyance occurred.
DINGDONG. DINGDONG. DINGDONGDINGDONG-DINGDONGDINGDONG
Now the doorbell was being rung over and over again. Whoever wanted to see him was persistent to say the least.
Lucifer turned around again and hurried to the door, this time determined to give whatever was bothering him a piece of his mind. He swung the huge door open; making sure his scowl was fully visible to whoever was on the other side. He was surprised to see a small little girl with messy dirty-blond hair and icy-blue eyes staring angrily back at him. Her stained maroon dress covered her body from the neck down, with only her head and hands still visible. From the exposed parts of her body, Lucifer gathered that she was still fully human.
"Oh great. Another snot-nosed human." He thought to himself.
"It took you long enough! I've been waiting out here forever!" The girl snapped irritably as she folded her arms in annoyance.
The tired red devil just stood there with a stunned glare on his face. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. First this… this little girl pounds on his door in the middle of the night, and then has the nerve to be feisty with him, the Supreme Lord of Hell and God of Misery!
"Listen you little pip-squeak; first of all, you don't get to have an attitude with me. You will wait for Lucifer Heinous the Seventh for as long as I feel like. Second, it's 4:30 A.M.; whatever it is you want, ask me in about eight hours." SLAM!
Lucifer slammed the door right in the small girl's face and began walking towards the steps. He really should have released his lions on the brat, but in all honesty he was a little grateful that she had woken him up. Waking up from that awful nightmare was worth having to get out of bed so early.
"HEY!" The girl shouted from behind the door. BAMBAMBAM! "OPEN UP! AND I AM NOT A PIP-SQUEAK!" DINGDONGDINGDONGDINGDONG-
The girl was banging and ringing the doorbell furiously. She didn't walk all this way just to get insulted and have a door slammed in her face.
Lucifer stopped at the base of his incredibly tall staircase and sighed. This girl wasn't going to let him have any peace, and he really didn't feel like calling his guards to deal with her. Besides, it's not like he actually wanted to go back to sleep. He might have that horrible dream again. At least now he would have someone to talk to. Or yell at. Whichever was fine.
"*Sigh* Alright, alright, I'm coming; just keep your dress on." Lucifer sighed as he turned himself around; AGAIN.
"WHAT?" The girl fumed from behind the door. "FOR YOUR INFORMATION, IT'S A GOWN! NOT A DRESS!"
"Fine. Whatever." He walked back to the front door and opened it, this time much more calmly. "Won't you come in?" He asked sarcastically.
"Finally." The girl dusted her gown off and walked right past the short red devil. "Huh, this place isn't half bad."
She gazed at the enormous interior of the Heinous mansion. The walls were a deep jade-green color, with dozens of torch lights mounted on them that emitted hypnotizing bright green flames. There were countless portraits of other devil monsters that looked a little like Lucifer, probably his relatives. The staircase that ran up the mansion was enormous, and seemed to run on forever through all the numerous floors of the house. There were marble busts, decorated vases, beautiful plants, and life-sized statues of Lucifer spread all throughout the huge foyer.
"I'd like to think so." Lucifer stated with an arrogant tone. He shut the door and began walking toward his entertainment room. He didn't even bother gesturing for the girl to follow him; it's not like there was anyone else there for her to see.
He walked across the foyer and turned down one of the many hallways in his enormous mansion. He passed several doors, with the girl's shadow trailing him from behind, before finally reaching a gigantic room with a large brown sofa, a single upholstered recliner, and a giant flat screen T.V. that covered the room's entire left wall. The emerald green room with dark and light brown checkered flooring also had speakers strewn on the walls and a large amount of game systems piled up near the T.V.
Lucifer walked right over to his comfy recliner and plopped down on it. He adjusted the chair to his favorite laid-back position and stretched himself out. "Ahhhhh that feels nice."
He turned his head toward the room's entrance. That uppity little girl was just standing there, staring at him suspiciously.
"Well? Are you going to sit down or not?" He asked with a tired, impatient yawn. The red devil was still pretty irritable. It was nearly 5 o'clock in the morning now and he had no sleep, no coffee, and no breakfast. That smiley little freak from the day before had also put him in an especially sour mood.
The girl stepped over to the brown couch and leaped onto it. She squirmed to get comfortable, never taking her eyes off Lucifer.
The red devil noticed the girl staring fiercely at him. Her eyes seemed fiery, yet icy and cold. "Interesting…"
The pair's staring contest went on for another minute before he finally spoke up. "So… what is it that you wanted exactly?"
The girl folded her arms and sighed. "I need a house. A nice one." Her eyes detached from the red devil's face and locked onto the floor. "I went to get one yesterday, but your crappy Realty Dept. gave me a million forms to fill out. Then when I was half-way finished, I saw that they gave me forms for a trailer car. Then they gave me another kagillion papers to fill out for a real house and when I finally finished those they handed me a receipt and told me they could give it to me in 6-8 weeks, at the earliest."
The red devil nodded along at the girl's self-described 'ordeal'. It wasn't really surprising to him since his Misery Inc. Realty Department is supposed to make new (and current) home buyers as miserable as possible. Endless paperwork and long delays happen to be its best tools for the job.
The girl's eyes circled around the room. "-So I started trashing the office, attacking workers, and throwing anything that wasn't bolted down…"
Lucifer held back a smile trying to form on his tired face. The thought of his pathetic workers being attacked and assaulted by a small girl brightened his mood.
"…So finally, this one guy who I was going to stab with a stapler told me I could get my house right away if I went to "Lucius Heinous the Seventh." I noticed in your little welcoming video that you were the main squeeze around here, so I thought…"
Lucifer's eyebrow shot up. "First of all, it's Lucifer Heinous the Seventh. And you thought I would just sign off a house for you; out of the kindness of my heart?"
The devil's eyes twitched from exhaustion. He tried to keep himself awake, but his comfy chair and horrible night's sleep weren't helping him.
The girl's eyes returned to Lucifer's half-closed ones. "C'mon, there are tons of houses in this place. And that guy said all you have to do is sign one little paper and I can get one right away." Her eyes drifted back towards the floor, now avoiding the tired, apathetic stare from the short red devil. "I'm-I'm normally not one to beg, but I've been freezing out in the cold for two nights now; I just need somewhere to sleep… I don't really have any family here. I'm all alone."
Lucifer could see tears starting to form in the girl's eyes. They began to lightly drip down her face; she looked like she was trying her best to hold them in. Finally, the small girl clasped her hands together in a pleading motion. Her cold, tear-filled, icy-blue eyes softened in her plea to the devil. "Please Mr. Heinous. I-I'd be eternally grateful to you if you could just please sign a new house for me."
Seeing the girl's tears drip onto the floor from her large, sparkling blue eyes caused Lucifer's own tired face to soften. "Well… since you put it like that… No."
"Oh thank you so mu- wait… Did you say 'No'?" The girl's sad, innocent, tear-dotted face reverted back to her fuming one from before. "How could you say NO?"
Lucifer's mouth broke into a tired grin. "Please. I could see your cute little sob-story act from a mile away. *YAWN* If it makes you feel any better though, I wouldn't have done it even if you hadn't been faking it."
The girl wiped the fake tears flowing down her red face and clenched her fists in rage. "Oh yeah? Well what if I beat a house out of you instead!" She pounced from the couch onto Lucifer's recliner and caused it to fall over. The red devil fell backward along with the chair and tumbled onto the floor.
Lucifer lifted his aching body and looked over at the girl. He could see she was furious, but also pretty determined to get his sign off. He calmly picked himself up and fixed his ruffled pajamas.
"Hitting me isn't going to work either." He stated calmly.
"And why not?" She asked angrily. The girl looked as if she was about to charge at him.
"I know you may think I look small and weak, but there's a good reason why I'm in charge around here. All these monsters don't just obey my every command because they want to. Haven't you ever heard of how powerful the devil can be?"
The girl thought over his words and calmed herself. Lucifer was pretty scrawny looking for a supposed Ultimate Demon of Death and Destruction. Back on Earth, the stories she'd hear about the devil made him sound huge and frightening, not short and wimpy. But there obviously had to be something that was making everyone obey this short, red devil monster. Otherwise, it seemed like he would be pretty easy to overthrow. Maybe it was some sort of Hellish superpower that wasn't visible in his outward appearance.
She relaxed her body, but kept her determined glare. If this guy really did have some sort of power that let him control everyone, then she knew she didn't want to go up against it. "…So if I can't pound you for a house… how can I get you to sign one for me?"
Lucifer had already propped his recliner back up and seated himself down on it again. "*YAWN* Well, it doesn't really look like you have anything I want."
The girl looked down and thought over what the Devil might want from her. "…What if I sell you my soul?"
She didn't really need her soul. It's not like she was using it for anything important anyway. She was already dead and in Hell; what difference did it make?
Lucifer didn't even bat an eyelash. "Sorry but I've already got it. Once someone is sent to Hell, their soul is automatically forfeited to me on arrival."
The girl tried to think quickly. "What if we made a deal? You could give me the house now, and I could work off the debt later. Any job you need done, I can do it."
The red devil gave a tired chuckle. "The kinds of jobs I currently need require someone ruthless; cold; heartless; diabolical; and just plain evil. And you, little girl, don't really seem to fit the profile."
The girl clenched her fists and bit her lip. She tried to suppress the intense rage that was exploding inside of her from being called a 'little girl'. She took a deep breath and tried to hide the anger in her voice. "I'm 14 years old; not a little girl. And I think you'll find that I'm more than capable of being cold and heartless." The girl's face suddenly lit up with pride. "Back on Earth, I was quite the serial killer."
Lucifer quirked his brow. "Oh really?" He looked over the short, feisty girl. She was definitely mean-spirited and devious, with an extreme violent side to boot. "And just how many people did you kill exactly?"
A wide smile broke across the girl's face. "Thirty-two. And that was just in two years too."
"Hmmmm; not bad." Lucifer thought to himself.
The red devil mulled over what to do. He was getting pretty sick of people bothering him for houses and he really didn't have a use for a serial killer at the moment. His Minotaur guards were just as apt at bludgeoning and maiming civilians. Just then an idea popped into his brain. A nasty, sinister, awful idea.
A smile spread across the red devil's face. "You must really like hurting people, huh?" He asked with a grin.
"Yeah, you could say it's a passion of mine." The girl responded as she smiled and innocently looked up toward the ceiling. "I also enjoy causing destruction and spreading misery."
Lucifer's smile widened. He could tell she was trying to get on his good side, especially with that misery remark. "Well what a coincidence. I love causing pain and spreading misery as well."
Lucifer hopped off of his recliner and stretched his arms. He wasn't feeling quite so tired anymore. He turned back toward the girl, still smiling. "You know what? I think I do have a job for you. One that would be perfect for someone with your talents."
The girl's face lit up. "Ooo what is it? What is it?" She asked eagerly. "Whatever it is, I can do it."
The red devil's smile morphed into a wicked grin. "There's this boy that I need you to take care of."
The girl's enthusiasm quickly vanished from her face. "Whoa, whoa buddy. When I said I could do anything, I didn't mean-"
"Relax," Lucifer cut her off; he knew exactly where she was heading, "It's nothing like that. I just need you to make this kid miserable. He's entirely too smiley and nice, the exact opposite of what someone in Hell should be."
"Ooooh; So you want me to break him then?" She inquired with a hint of menacing anticipation.
"Exactly. I want him to cry, to bleed, to scream and beg for mercy. I want you to break him so badly, that he'll set a new high on the Misery Index. I'd do it myself of course, but I'm terribly busy running Hell and the factory."
The girl rubbed her hands together diabolically. "No need to worry Mr. Heinous. I'll break this kid so badly that by the time I'm done with him, he won't even remember how to smile; MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Perfect." The red devil smiled evilly as the girl broke out in maniacal laughter. "And make sure that he comes out hateful as well. I want him to be more than just a broken-spirited sad sack; I want him to be mean, nasty, and capable of breaking a set of teeth without even batting an eyelash."
"That won't be a problem sir." The girl chuckled sinisterly. "So what's the name of our lucky victim?"
Lucifer's grin widened. "Jimmy Two-Shoes."
"Consider it done Mr. Heinous. So do we have a deal?" She extended her hand toward the red devil.
"It's a deal." He extended his claws forward and shook.
"Now…" The girl suddenly broke in again, "about my house. I have a nice one already picked out. And it's pretty close by, so it'll make it easier for me to report back to you, or if you wanted to reach me for any other villainous jobs."
Lucifer blinked with confusion. "What in Miseryville is this little girl up to?" He pondered in his mind with suspicion. But finally, it dawned on him. "Ah, very sneaky…"
This girl wasn't just after a house. She wanted him to give her a real job at the factory as well. And from the looks of it, she wouldn't be satisfied with just any lowly job assembling products; she'd want a job that would really bring about misery and destruction.
Lucifer was beginning to like this girl. "Well now that that's out of the way, I'm going to grab some breakf-"
"Ahem!" The girl put her hands on her waist and gave an irritated glare at the short, red devil.
"What? What do you want now?" Lucifer asked, getting rather exasperated again.
The girl narrowed her eyes in annoyance, "Aren't you going to ask what my name is? I am your new employee you know."
"Alright fine," The red devil rolled his eyes, "and what is your name my dear?"
She smiled. "It's Heloise. That's Hell-o-weez, with one L. It's a French name." She stated proudly.
"Yeah, I got it. Thanks."
The red devil held his claws over his belly. He hadn't eaten anything from the night before and his stomach felt like it was about to collapse on itself. "Ugh, I'm starving. Samael had better have my breakfast ready when I get to the kitchen." He hungrily moaned to himself.
Heloise's face grew a look of concern. "This Samael guy… he wouldn't happen to be short and green with a big nose and annoying lisp by any chance, would he?"
"Yep, that's him alright… Wait- how do you know Samael?"
The girl looked up and gave a nervous smile. "Well you see, before you came down to open the door for me, your friend came out on your bedroom balcony and told me to stop pounding on your door so I wouldn't wake you up. I told him that I just wanted to talk to you, but he said to quit it or he'd release your lions on me… So I sort of chucked a rock at him, and he fell from the balcony. I think he's still lying out on the lawn unconscious."
Lucifer burst out laughing at the image of Samael knocked out cold by a small girl. This Heloise girl reminded him of himself when he was a teenager.
"Well, I guess that means I'm cooking then." The devil declared as he stretched his arms again. Lucifer surprisingly found himself in a much better mood than before. He turned toward the girl and gestured for her to follow him. "C'mon my dear, let's go get you that housing contract."
He began walking toward the room's exit when he noticed she wasn't following him. She was just standing there, with her hands behind her back and her eyes focused towards the ceiling.
"*Sigh* Okay, what is it now?" He moaned, now a little more used to her erratic behavior.
Heloise cleared her throat. "I wouldn't mind having some breakfast either." She hadn't eaten anything since her arrival in Miseryville. Normally she would have just stolen some food, but all the meat and fruit in Hell looked so weird and unappetizing. "Do you have any bacon and eggs?"
The red devil smiled. This girl really was new to Hell. "Better than that, I can make us some sizzled Weavil and a Miserybird egg omelet."
The girl folded her arms in annoyance. "Humph, well do you at least have any normal toast around here? Or is that made from something weird too?"
"Don't worry," Lucifer smiled as he led her toward the hallway, "you'll get used to it."