One month later….
She was sitting on her couch, clad in nothing but a large black t-shirt and pink panties, when there was a knock at her door.
The fuck? It's nine o-clock in the morning…..who could that possibly be? I already paid the rent…..
She groaned as she stood up and padded to her door. She didn't even look through the door scope to see who it was. She should have.
She opened her door to reveal the Joker in all of his glory.
"Rise and shine, beautiful," He spoke before shoving his way past her.
She didn't even try to stop him. After all, she was much too tired. She hoped he didn't have anything too exciting planned for her. After the previous night she'd had, she didn't want excitement for a long time.
She rubbed her eyes and mumbled, "Three questions. How'd you find me, why are you here, and how did you get into the building? You may be wearing everyday clothes and your face is absent of the face paint, but how'd you get past Jerry with the scars?"
"A magician never reveals his secrets," He said to her pointedly with a smirk.
She simply stood there, looked at him, and raised her eyebrows.
He sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets, "Alright, I kiiinda killed your doorman."
"What? You killed Jerry? Aww..I actually sorta liked him…..oh well." She sighed. "You know you can't do that every time."
"I obviously know that. I mean, don't forget who you're talking to; Clown Prince of Crime, Harlequin of Hate, Ace of Knaves, etc.," He said arrogantly, a smug grin plastered to his face.
"Oh, yeah yeah, sorry," She said sarcastically. "Slipped my mind…"
"And the cameras….?" She asked.
"Like you said, I look like an every-day citizen. As long as I don't show my face, I'm good." He shrugged.
She walked into her kitchen and prepared a bowl of cereal. She could feel his eyes on her and she glanced up at him. Once again, he looked undeniable. He stood there in all of his blonde glory; hair tousled, and clad in a navy-blue dress shirt, buttoned up his forearms, and faded blue jeans. He smirked as he looked at her.
"No wonder you got past the cameras," She mumbled.
He continued to stare at her. He looked as if he was in disbelief.
"What?" She said. Although it was more of a, 'Wuff?" as she was talking with her mouth full of cheerios.
"So this is what the great 'Harley Quinn' does on her weekends?" He chirped.
"Oh shut up," She mumbled back, taking another big spoonful. "Where are you? Oh yeah…here. You're not doing anything special 'Mr. Big Bad Scary Joker'"
"Love the sarcasm," He spoke, "Oh, and the outfit." He winked at her and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
She rolled her eyes at him before placing her bowl in the sink.
"You disgust me," She shot back, "And it looks like you do a shit-ton of nothing, as well."
She began walking past him, but he stopped her.
"Wait…you have milk riiiiiiiiiight there," He leaned down and licked it off the corner of her mouth. He looked up at her eyes to see her glaring viciously at him. He smiled.
She merely glared and shoved him away.
"Do you know that I love personal space?" She said, putting emphasis on love.
Harley meandered her way to her bedroom where she strolled to her dresser and pulled out denim shorts and a pale yellow tank-top.
Realizing that he had followed her, she turned around and pushed him out of the room.
"Alright, fine, fine…. I see how it is! You'll stroll around in your little panties, but I can't see-" He became muffled as she turned her radio volume as high as it would go.
"Is that Smooth Jazz I hear?" The Joker shouted over the loud music.
Rolling her eyes and thinking about how she would kill him, she slipped off her T-shirt.
She dressed quickly and threw her hair up into a pony tail. After applying mascara, she turned off her radio and put on her flip-flops.
She didn't know that he was standing right outside the door, so when she opened her door, she fortunately smacked him in the face.
"Ah! Jesus Christ, do you have to open the door with so much force?" He muttered, holding his nose.
She smirked. "Oh don't be such a baby about it." She grabbed her keys from the edge of the counter. "So where we going?"
"No, no, no! I'm driving, sweet cheeks," He corrected. "Annnnnnnd I'll tell yah when we get there."
"What? Ummm no, 'sweet cheeks'!" She stood with her hands on her hips. "I wanna know where you're taking me." She walked to the door and opened it.
"Are you really going to be this whiny about it?" He walked out of the apartment behind her and shut the door. He snapped the lock into place and they moved into the elevator.
"Yes," She stated. She punched the button labeled 'ground floor' and the elevator whirred into motion.
He sighed before saying simply, "No."
She folded her arms and glared. "Is this more of your 'real estate business'?"
"Bingo, shorty," He winked at her. "I require your assistance in helping me move in my things."
"Couldn't you have gotten some of your 'henchmen' to do it for you?" She questioned.
"Well yes, they'll be helping, too. I would have asked them solely, but I have to relocate your darling 'puppies' to another part of the building and they don't seem to like me very much."
"Hmm, good boys," Harley smirked. She caught his playful glare before saying, "Why exactly are they being, as you say, 'relocated'?"
"Because where they are is going to be my new work station and they smell and they are very annoying," He said with a grimace. He truly hated the beasts. The non-stop growling, yipping, barking, giggling, and snarling had gotten on his nerves. In a way, they reminded him of her, which he thought, is why he just didn't get rid of them despite Harley's wishes.
"They don't smell!" She insisted. She had just bathed her boys, they did not smell.
"Trust me, they smell," He replied with a laugh.
The elevator doors opened to reveal the lobby of the apartment complex. A large group of police officers were standing around the front desk, which was now surrounded by yellow crime-scene tape.
Harley and Joker caught a few words, 'Joker' and 'search of the entire building and those surrounding it', before turning left and out a back door of the building.
"Good thing I parked in the back, huh?" He mused.
She glared at him. "You couldn't have just come through the back door. Nope, had to stroll in through the front and kill my sweet, old doorman."
"Ehhh, he was a geezer. His time was coming," He said with a shrug. He opened the door of the SUV for her, but she declined and closed the door and re-opened it herself before getting in.
He chuckled and walked around the car to the other side. He stuck the key into the ignition, and drove out of the parking lot and onto the street.
"Are you always this difficult?" The Joker asked. He glanced at her for a moment before turning his eyes back onto the road.
"Pretty Much," She said. She noticed the glare of the sun through the windshield as she looked up. "You have any sunglasses?"
"Glove compartment," He spoke before turning right.
She dug around until she found a pair of Ray-Bans amongst the mess. She slipped them onto her face and leaned back into her seat. She sighed and folded her arms.
"You always this dramatic, too?" He teased.
"Only with you," She mumbled.
"Ah," He nodded with a chuckle before he turned onto the freeway.