She watched him as he dove into the pool.

Harley was sitting on the edge of the swimming pool with Pam next to her. Red was busy writing a grocery list, her sunglasses perched on her nose and her red hair wild and curly from the humidity of the hot summer day.

Harley leaned back on her arms and blinked. He really was magnificent. The Joker could blow up two buildings, kill the District Attorney and the Assistant District Attorney, blow up the MCU, and out-think the entire Gotham Police force all in one night. And the jackass could do a perfect swan dive. Not to mention, have an incredibly sexy and tan torso. Who was this guy?

"Pam, I've finally figured out who he is," Harley said. "He's God."

Pam laughed as she scribbled down 'milk'. "Harl, of all the possibilities you pick God?"

"No doubt about it," Harley shook her head, "Look at him Pam! Besides the scars, he's fucking perfect! That man controls the Gotham Mob and he still has time to work out. C'mon!" Harley gestured with her hands toward the Joker as he, yet again, dove gracefully into the water. "See?"

Pam chuckled and set down her pad of paper and pen. She pushed her sunglasses down her nose slightly so she could glance at Harley. "Harls, if he's anyone, he's Satan."

Harley sighed. "Then Satan is pretty damn sexy."

She laid down and picked up the pair of sunglasses that laid beside her and put them on.

"Oh are you going to take a little nappy?" Pam joked. She glanced down at Harley and smirked. "Have you had a hard day?" Pam mocked in a baby voice.

"Don't you have to go to the store?" Harley grumbled. "And yes I have. I've been with said 'Satan' all day."

"Hey you invited him over," Pam chuckled as she put her hands up in innocence.

"Yeah well…I didn't know he'd be such a pain in the ass," Harley muttered.

"Eh, he hasn't been that bad," Pam stated, "It shocked me how well-behaved 'Satan' could actually be." Harley and Pam began to giggle until suddenly a familiar face popped out of the water.

"Is that what you're calling me now?" The Joker said. He tsked and waggled his index finger.

"Have you been eavesdropping, clown?" Pam asked.

He ignored her and continued, "Watch yourself Red. What if I really am Satan?"

Pam smirked at him and stated, "Then you'd be a hell of a lot scarier."

The Joker gave Pam a pouty face and pulled himself out of the water and onto the cement. Pam handed him a towel from one of the lawn chairs and he began to dry off.

He glanced at Harley as he rubbed his face, torso, and back. "What's with the grumpy expression? You should be happy, I'm half-naked." The Joker smirked at her as he said his last three words. He shook his wet mane at her and she squealed.

Harley's reply was a few words that the Joker was unable to make out.

He cupped his ear and said, "What was that?"

Harley then said it again, but to no avail.

"What was that?" The Joker said a little louder, still cupping his ear.

Harley then sat up and screamed at him,"Kiss my ass!"

"Well, you don't have to be so loud," He teased. They were now face to face and the Joker grinned.

She huffed at him. Her sunglasses had slid down her nose and were now crooked.

"You know darling, I would love to 'kiss your ass', but…we have an audience," He said as he gestured with his head over to Pam.

"That's it, I'm leaving," Pam stood up and put her grocery list into the front pocket of her denim shorts. "You two have doing whatever you're doing." Pam glanced down at them and nodded. She walked over to the lawn chair where her purse sat and took out her wallet. After placing it into her back pocket, she grabbed her keys from inside the Prada bag, and stalked towards the gate.

"No Red, don't leave me!" Harley exclaimed as she struggled to stand up. "You can't leave me here with him."

"You two seemed fine earlier today when you came with 'him' from 'his' place." Pam chuckled while saying, "Harl, you'll be fine."

Winking, Pam began to walk to her car. She glanced over her shoulder and yelled, "And don't let him blow up my house!"

Harley's face fell as she heard Pam's car start. She heard the groan of the SUV as it pulled out of the drive way and onto the street.

She glanced at the Joker, who sat next to her. He was leaning back on his elbows and grinning. He noticed her staring at him and looked over.

"Yes?" He asked her.

"What do you wanna do now?" Harley posed.

"I dunno." He shrugged. "We could swim some more?"

"Nahh…it's getting late." She said as she looked up at the sky.

A sly grin crept onto the Joker's face. "Wanna make out?" He asked.

Harley looked at him in disgust. "How dare you even ask me that! You think that I would even condescend to speak to you let alone touch your mouth-"

"Okay, Okay! Well…I thought it was a pretty good idea…" He glanced back at her. She looked like she was ready to rant again, so he did the only sensible thing he could do at the moment. He shut her up.

Harley only registered a second of the raping of her lips before the Joker pulled away. Their noses were touching as they looked at each other.

"Why'd you do that?" Harley whispered. She looked at his eyes, then to his lips, and back up again.

"You were talking very loudly and it was quite irritating so I stopped you," The Joker stated with a shrug. "It's pretty simple, really."

"Huh," Harley breathed. She looked thoughtful for a moment.

The Joker was about to ask what she was thinking about when as he opened his mouth, it was covered by Harley's.

His lips felt strange. She could feel the small scar on his bottom lip as she massaged it with her own. It may have been strange, but she decided he felt nice.

She placed her hands on his broad shoulders. Harley could feel the tight, lean muscle there as he shifted his position. He held the back of her neck with one hand, and placed the other on the small of her back. Suddenly she felt something wet protrude into her mouth. The said wet thing touched her tongue and prodded it. She realized that it was his and she relaxed against him.

She moaned in protest when he left her mouth, but gasped in satisfaction as he attacked her neck with kisses and his tongue. He bit and nibbled and she moaned and squeaked.

She dragged her hands up and down his muscled back and pulled him down onto her as she laid down on the ground. He trailed his mouth lower onto her collar bone and she squealed. He bit, licked, and suckled on her pale flesh leaving bright red marks.

"J…" Harley breathed as he moved back up to her lips.

She ran her fingers through his wet, blonde curls as he continued to assault her mouth. She wrapped her calves around his hips and the Joker released a long groan. He dragged his hands down her arms and placed them on her hips where he gripped them as he grinded against her. Harley let out a gasp at the sensation.

Harley's only thoughts were of him and what he was doing to her, and not what was about to happen.

Suddenly, there was a loud noise and lots of red. It had become hot quickly and there was debris everywhere around her. She felt pieces of wood, glass, and rock hitting her skin. She was scorching and she then knew what had happened. Pam's last words before leaving are quite ironic now, she thought as the Joker rolled them into the pool. The water felt wonderful against her singed skin and she reveled in it. She suddenly remembered her need for oxygen, and she swam to the surface.

Gasping for air, Harley looked around her. She noticed that what used to be Pamela Isley's house was burning before her. There was debris everywhere and the yard was a mess.

She looked around frantically for the Joker until she spotted him swimming towards her.

"J!" She yelled as she paddled towards him.

The Joker reached Harley and put his arms around her.

"Are you alright?" He asked her. He began to examine her face and arms.

"Obviously J, I'm fine." She slapped his hand away that was prodding a small cut on her shoulder. "It's the house that I'm worried about…and who did this."

"Well, the house is obviously not going to make it," the Joker stated.

Harley slapped his arm. "Smartass…"

She looked up at the burning building before her. "Thank God Pam went to the store…she could be dead."

"Yeah….thank God…" the Joker grumbled.

Harley glared at him and spoke, "You better be kidding." He grinned cheekily at her.

The Joker sighed and said, "Somebody's targeting Red, you, or me. And of the three…I highly suspect it's me." He glanced around them and let go of Harley.

"We should get out of here in case anything else happens." He stated.

Harley nodded and replied, "Yeah you're right. I'll call Pam and tell her to notify the fire department." They swam towards the edge and got out.

"Think she'll be mad?" The Joker teased. He glanced at Harley with his brows raised.

"Hah, yeah I think she'll be quite pissed," Harley smirked as she pulled on her denim shorts and tank top over her bathing suit.

"Well…this wasn't my fault," He said as he slipped on his t-shirt and grabbed his keys from the lawn chair.

"Technically, yes it is. If the guy that bombed Red's house was targeting you, then it is all your fault," Harley noted. She smirked at him as he crossed his arms and frowned.

"So now I have to get bitched at because of something I wasn't even aware of?" the Joker said gesturing towards himself.

"Oh Shshshshsh," Harley shushed as she dug her cell phone out of her jean pocket and dialed the number for Pam.

Harley sighed as she held the phone up to her ear. "Oh boy…"