I know this is going to sound kinda far-fetched, but I have a pretty solid theory that Chuck The Bus Driver was the one who ran Jimmy over in the original premise. He himself might not have been a concept character, but I feel like the JTS staff might have included him in the series as a little joke, in reference to the original premise, since he's such a clumsy and easily-distracted driver. I don't know, it's just some personal fan-canon that's been stuck inside my brain for awhile.
Oh, also, about the whole electro-camera scene. I am also basing this on a supposed screenshot from the original pilot, in which Heloise is rubbing her hands evilly as she watches Jimmy being electrocuted by an electrical beam coming from somewhere off-screen. A glass Jimmy was holding is also shown shattered upon the electric beam's impact. Again, if you've seen this screenshot, then you'll probably understand the context of this scene a little better.
Chapter 13
Don't Say the 'L' Word
They reached the entrance of the park, where a bus stop sign was placed just a few steps away. Jimmy bent down over a bench where Heloise jumped off of his shoulders and sat. There was an awkward silence for the next few minutes; that bus seemed to be taking forever.
"Heh, I hope the bus doesn't run over us again." Jimmy joked obliviously.
Heloise instantly shot him an icy-cold death glare, which caused Jimmy's mouth to shut close.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the bus drove up and opened its doors right in front of the pair. Jimmy had just put his foot in the door when Heloise shoved him over.
"It's ladies first." She snapped as she hopped into the bus.
"Oh, uh sorry."
Jimmy stepped in after the girl and took a seat near the front. As the bus began driving again, he noticed the driver whistling and smiling. The driver still looked human, but had a corpse-blue shade of skin, with a bulbous, pink, stitched up nose. His blue bus-driver's uniform and hat looked rather old too.
"Hey, cool hat." Jimmy complimented to the driver from behind.
"Thanks. I've had it for years." The bus driver turned and looked at Jimmy, still smiling. "Are you new around here?"
"Yeah, I just got here a few days ago."
"Well what a coincidence, so did I!" The bus driver chuckled. "So what happened to you?"
"Oh, well I got hit by a bus."
"Gee I'm sorry to hear that." The driver exclaimed sympathetically, twisting the wheel as he made a left turn.
"Uh, so did you just become a bus driver?" Jimmy asked with a smile.
"Well I just got this job a few days ago, but I've actually been a bus driver my whole life. Funny thing is, I actually died while I was driving my own bus back on Earth."
"Oh, gee I'm sorry." Jimmy smiled sadly.
"Aw it's fine," The driver sighed as he pulled the bus toward another stop, "Yeah, it turns out I had a heart-attack while I was on my bus route. I just hope I didn't run anyone over when I passed out behind the wheel."
"Huh, what an odd coincidence that has nothing to do with me." Jimmy remarked. "Well it was nice meeting you!"
"Likewise!"
The smiling corpse released the doors and Jimmy stepped off the bus, with Heloise bringing his rear.
Jimmy watched as the bus rolled off. "That guy seemed really nice."
"Yeah, sure, whatever." Heloise shrugged. She had completely ignored that stupid bus-driver. "C'mon, it's getting late."
The suns had been going down for awhile now, and the sky was a beginning to turn a darker shade of red. Jimmy skipped happily down the street, with Heloise dragging her exhausted body behind him.
They came toward Heloise's pink-bricked house, much to her relief. "Finally," she breathed, "now we can have some real fun." She giggled evilly. This gap-toothed idiot was really in for it now.
"Cool," Jimmy followed Heloise into the house. He gawked at the newly furnished interior. "Wow Heloise, this place looks amazing."
The girl smiled. "Well, maybe this guy's taste isn't all that bad."
Jimmy walked into the living room and sat down on the red couch. "Ahh, that feels nice."
The girl just stood and stared at Jimmy, with a wicked grin on her face. "So, can I get you something to drink?"
"Uh, can I get a glass of water please?" Jimmy asked with a smile.
"No problem. Don't go anywhere ok?"
The girl glided her way out of the room, leaving Jimmy to wait while she got the water.
Heloise ducked into the kitchen, and peeked out to look at Jimmy. She waited, until she was sure he wasn't looking anymore. "Perfect. Now then…" She snuck out the kitchen, taking evasive maneuvers to make sure Jimmy never caught sight of her. "Alright, now where in the world is that basement?" She asked softly to herself.
The girl looked down the hallway, where she saw a miniature staircase running beneath the house. "Figures." She crept her way over to it, never taking her sights off Jimmy, who was too busy playing with her decorative bowl of eye-balls to notice her.
When she finally approached the stairs, she saw that it was going to be tricky climbing down. They were about half her width, meaning she'd really have to be careful.
Jimmy, meanwhile, was busy flinging eye-balls across the living room. "Awesome! Okay, one more."
He grabbed another one and positioned it carefully in the makeshift slingshot he was able to improvise. "Ok folks, this is the final shot. If Jimmy Two-Shoes can make this, then he wins the World Championship and becomes Miseryville's greatest MVP!" Crash! The eyeball flew across the room and smashed right through a vase placed on the shelf.
"Whoopsy." Jimmy casually walked over to the smashed vase and swept the pieces under the rug, all while whistling innocently. "Let's just pretend that never happened."
"Sorry to keep you waiting." Heloise appeared from the hallway, gripping a glass of water along with a handful of what appeared to be various electronic devices. "The faucet was acting really weird."
"Thanks." Jimmy took the glass and started drinking. "Hey what's that Heloise?"
Jimmy noticed Heloise placing a pile of techno-dohickeys on the floor and she appeared to be propping one of them up on a tripod.
"Oh this? It's a camera silly. I wanna take a picture." She balanced it on the stand and then turned it toward Jimmy.
In fact, they were actually a bunch of misery-inducing prototypes of Dorkus' that Heloise had borrowed from his place in the basement. "I'm sure Dorkus won't mind. I'll be testing them out for him."
"Oh, that sounds cool." Jimmy stared at the camera while sipping his water.
"Say 'cheese'." The girl pressed a button on the device, which appeared to set off a timer.
"Cheeseeeee." Jimmy spread his mouth wide, giving a huge smile.
"Perrrfect." Heloise snickered as she clasped her hands together and grinned deviously. "Now just hold that pose."
"Okay," Jimmy answered, still retaining his smile, "but should I put the cup do-" BBZBZZZZZZZBZBZZZZZZZZZ
A huge ray of electricity shot from the device and blasted Jimmy, electrocuting him and causing his glass to shatter into pieces.
"Mwahahahahahahahahah!" Heloise burst into maniacal laughter as she watched Jimmy twitch and shake with thousands of electrical volts coursing through his body.
After about a minute the device stopped, and Jimmy fell to the sharp, glass-covered floor. His skin and clothes were blackened with electric burns and he was twitching violently.
"Sooo," Her wicked grin had spread across her face as she looked at Jimmy squirming on her floor, "still feel like smiling? Hmmmm?"
The girl was about to begin laughing again when her smile instantly disappeared. She stepped back in disbelief as her ears caught wind of something horrible.
Laughter. Jimmy started laughing. There, burnt, shocked, and cut with glass on her floor, he was actually laughing. She had no idea what was going on now. "Crap. I think he's lost it."
"HAHAHAHAHA! Good one Heloise!" Jimmy stumbled up from the floor and brushed off his burnt clothes as he giggled. "You really got me there."
"WHAT?" The girl's disbelief quickly morphed into anger.
"Yeah, I can't believe I fell for the old 'Camera/Deadly Electric Shock Ray' trick. Classic prank."
"Wha-But-I mean I-" The girl face-palmed and gritted her teeth. "I cannot BELIEVE THIS!" She screamed in her head. "Ahaha, yeah. A prank. Of course." She hid her fury under a fake smile and forced out a chuckle. "Will you excuse me for a minute?"
She grabbed the pile of prototypes and rushed out of the room and up the staircase towards her own room.
"Okay, I'll just be here then." Jimmy sat back down and eyed the shock ray. "I have got to get one of those."
"Damn it, DAMN IT!" Heloise yelled as she dropped the handful of gadgets onto her bedroom floor and started rifling through them. "One of these things has got to be able to wipe the smile of his face!"
She picked up an aluminum box with what looked like a lump of blue clay in it and read the box's tag.
PROTO #2123: Once a kid starts playing with this, parents won't have to worry about them for hours. The patent-pending Misery Inc. Play-Clay will instantly attach and spread itself onto whoever is unfortunate enough to touch it.
"Hmmm, maybe I could put this in his food later," Heloise shoved it aside and kept looking. "What else is there?"
She spotted a gizmo that looked like some sort of ray-gun. "Now we're talking."
PROTO #477: Have you ever had an annoying "friend" who never stops talking?-
"Oh like you wouldn't believe." Heloise sighed to herself.
"-well now you can truly express your feelings without having to be rude and telling that person to 'shut it', with the patent-pending Misery Inc. Freeze-Dry Insta-zap Gun. Just one blast will instantly freeze your friend for up to 16 hours! (Results May Vary). You'll never have to deal with another chatter mouth ever again.
"Oh, I'll definitely hold onto this." She tucked it away inside her gown and kept looking through the pile. "Huh, what's this?"
Heloise saw a can of soda with something extra written on the description tag.
PROTO #1366: Ever feel like murdering someone but can't because we're already in Hell? Well despair no more with the new patent-pending Misery-Inc. Explosa' Cola! One sip of this highly volatile fluid (cleverly disguised as soda) will cause whoever drinks it to blow up into millions of pieces! (Disclaimer: Effects are not permanent and person will revert back to normal in the following episode). WARNING: DO NOT USE! Chemical is EXTREMELY Dangerous and Unstable!
"Hmm, it seems Dorkus had a little trouble with this one." She shook the soda can and pressed it against her ear to see if there was any reaction. The can remained silent. "Whatever was in here has got to have cooled down by now. I'm sure it's not as unstable as it was before."
She grabbed the can and hurried downstairs. She didn't want to keep her guest waiting long.
"Youwhooo, Jimmy," She called out before spotting him fiddling with the shock-ray, "I thought you might be thirsty after all that water you drank."
"Well, all that water did leave me pretty parched." Jimmy smiled.
"Here, I got you some soda." She shoved the can into Jimmy's hands. "C'mon drink up."
"Gladly!" Jimmy cracked open the can and began chugging it down his throat. "Ahhhh. That really hit the spot. Thanks Heloise."
"No problem buddy." She giggled under her breath.
"So anyway, I've been meaning to do something nice for you for awhile and I- Oh. Owwwwww my stomach." Jimmy's stomach began growling and gurgling loudly. "Ouch, I wonder what I ate."
"Or what you drank, you gullible idiot." Heloise grinned evilly. She stepped back a bit. She didn't want to get coated with chunks of exploding Jimmy.
"Oh man." Jimmy held onto his stomach, which was now visibly rumbling. "Could I maybe use your bathroom?"
"Sure thing." She pointed up toward the stairs. "It's up there, first door down the hall."
"Thanks a lot." Jimmy made a mad dash up the stairs.
"Let me know if you need anything else! Mwhahahahahahahaha!" Heloise called up to him as she began laughing again. "Now I just sit back and wait for the BOOM!"
The girl began counting down on her fingers, since she didn't have a watch. "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3-" BOOM!
A huge explosion ripped through the upper floor of the house, creating a large hole visible from down below.
"Kablewey! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! So long Mr. Two-Shoes!" The girl shouted upward. She knew the blast technically couldn't kill him, since they were already dead, but the extreme pain he was in should be enough to put that smile of his on ice for eternity. "Misery Inc., here I co-" CRASH!
Jimmy crashed through the ceiling and slammed onto the floor. A cloud of dust and debris fell on top of Heloise as she was caught completely off guard. It took a moment for the dust to settle. Heloise tunneled up from underneath the pile of wreckage, and coughed as soon as the plume of dust hit her throat.
"*Cough* Ugh! My living room! *cough* *cough*"
The place was a wreck. Her floor was covered in chunks of broken plaster and wooden boards, and dust coated the room. There was a huge, Jimmy-shaped hole in her upper floor as well.
"You *cough* idiot! Do you have any idea how long this is going to take me to clean?" Heloise brushed dust off of her gown when her senses suddenly snapped back from her angry stupor. She realized Jimmy was still in one piece.
"WHAT? I- You- But you were supposed to- AHHHHHHHHHH!" She screamed in frustration as Jimmy got up and dusted himself off. His clothes were pretty torn, but his body was still perfectly tact.
"Sorry about that Heloise. I don't think that soda sat well in my stomach."
"You were supposed to explode! Not destroy my living room!" Her voice erupted with anger.
"Oh, well then you probably shouldn't go see your bathroom anytime soon. " Jimmy smiled nervously.
"THAT'S IT!" Heloise screamed with rage as she ran for the kitchen. In her blind fury, she managed to dig through a drawer in one of the cabinets and pick out a sleek, shiny new knife she had just bought as part of a set, with a skull ornament on the end of its handle.
Heloise emerged from the kitchen, with daggers in her eyes directed right on Jimmy's neck. "Let's see how happy-go-lucky you are without a head!" She pounced onto the still confused Jimmy and stood on top of him, aiming her blade for straight for Jimmy's throat.
"Wait a sec Heloise." Jimmy said relatively calmly with a smile. He didn't quite seem to grasp what Heloise was attempting to do. "I know you're kinda upset, but I think I have something that might cheer you up."
"Cheer me up? Cheer ME UP?" Heloise shrieked. "You dragged me in front of a bus and got me killed, you nearly drowned me, and you destroyed my new house!" Her pupils reddened, looking as if they were beginning to catch fire from the intense heat of her rage. "But worst of all, you have the NERVE to smile at me with your stupid grin, and tell me you can CHEER ME UP? What could you POSSIBLY have that could cheer ME up?"
Jimmy's smile widened. "I think you're really gonna like iiiiit." He shifted his bright eyes toward the kitchen. "I put it in your fridge."
Heloise slowly moved her blazing eyes back toward the kitchen. She wanted to cut Jimmy's head off. Her rage was screaming at her to do it. But there was just a nagging curiosity tugging at her, enveloping her to see what was so cheery hidden in her fridge.
"You get it then." Heloise strained out softly from her angry, gritted teeth. She stepped off of the boy and motioned with her head for Jimmy to get whatever stupid thing he had in store for her.
"Awesome, ok just sit right there."
Jimmy skipped over to the kitchen while Heloise sat herself down on her red sofa, tightly clutching her knife. She could hear the sound of her fridge being opened.
"Okay Heloise, now close your eyes." Jimmy shouted from the kitchen. Heloise could hear him giggling.
Again, Heloise's murderous spirit told her to just stab Jimmy now and get this over with. Jimmy's neck was practically begging for her knife in it. She didn't know why she was humoring him. But her morbid curiosity was echoing in her head, pushing her to see whatever stupid thing the boy had for her. She placed both her hands over her eyes, still clutching her knife in one. She could hear Jimmy's footsteps coming, with his stupid giggling getting louder and louder.
"Alright, you can open your eyes now!" Jimmy declared excitedly.
Heloise lifted her hands from her closed eyes. There was Jimmy standing in front of her, with his stupid wide smile as expected. But he was gripping a pitcher of something. It took Heloise a second to register its contents in her brain.
"Surprise! Sweet, tasty, ice-cold le-mon-ade! I made it while you were upstairs."
Jimmy pushed the cold pitcher right in front of Heloise's face. Ice-cubes and slices of lemon still floating in the glass container swirled past her eyes. "I wanted to give this to you, to say sorry for the whole 'killing you and plunging you into eternal damnation' thing." His smile brightened. "I didn't think I'd ever be able to give you some, since I kinda assumed you'd have gone to heaven, but it sure was nice that you didn't. Now we hang out like this all the time."
Heloise just stared at the lemonade and then at Jimmy. Her brain was having a hard time comprehending just what was happening. Jimmy started pouring lemonade into a cup and pushed it to her. Heloise looked down at it, still dumbfounded. Finally, something unexpected was able to escape her mouth. "Th-Thank you."
The girl shockingly let her hand loosen its grip on her knife and it fell to the floor. She then slowly reached for the glass of lemonade and began sipping from it. Her eyes, now filled with considerably less rage, remained fixed on Jimmy, who was pouring another glass of lemonade for himself.
"Hmmmmm lemony." Jimmy commented as he sipped from his glass. "Hey Heloise, are you feeling ok?"
Heloise snapped out of her stupor and tightened her grip on her glass. "Wha-What do you mean? I'm fine." She said suspiciously.
"It's just that your face is all red. Are you hot or something?"
Heloise felt her face and the abnormal heat coming from it. She realized she must have been blushing. "Um yeah, it's kind of hot in here." She paused for a second and then looked back at Jimmy. "It's a good thing you made the lemonade."
Jimmy smiled and proceeded to sit next to Heloise on the couch. The girl swirled her lemonade as she eyed the knife resting on the floor in front of her. For some reason, she didn't really feel like decapitating Jimmy anymore. And she always felt like decapitating someone. Something fishy was going on.
"Hey."
Jimmy turned and looked at Heloise, who now had a stern, suspicious look in her eyes. "Yeah Heloise?"
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
"What do you mean?" Jimmy asked dumbfounded.
"You know what I mean." Her eyes narrowed. "Nobody does all this just because they're nice. Out with it; what's your deal?"
Jimmy scratched his head. "But I don't have a deal." He watched Heloise fold her arms in disbelief. "Honest! I just did it to apologize and cheer you up. You know, since we're friends and everything."
"Friends?" Heloise's suspicious voice suddenly grey louder in angry annoyance. "FRIENDS? I tried to mutilate you on three separate occasions in just one day!" She suddenly found herself pouring out all of her frustration with Jimmy. "And every single time, you've just smiled and kept your happy-go-lucky attitude! I mean honestly; did it ever occur to you that you're dead and living in Hell in a crap-shack of a house? What keeps you so damn happy all the time?" Heloise breathed heavily from her angry tirade. Her eyes were focused on Jimmy, who was just sipping his lemonade calmly. "WELL?"
Jimmy sipped the last of his lemonade and then shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I've always been like that. Or at least I think." Jimmy then set his glass on the table and smiled at Heloise. "But I like being happy, you know? When you're happy, bad stuff doesn't really seem all that bad."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the Your Guide to the Afterlife pamphlet he had gotten back at the Purgatory waiting room. He flipped it to the last page and pointed to a particular sentence. "Aha see, right here. 'Life's what you make of it.' If you keep a positive attitude, almost nothing can bring you down."
Heloise snatched the pamphlet from Jimmy and then scoffed. "Pfffft, 'Life's what you make of it'? That sounds like something a blissfully ignorant moron would say." She crumpled the paper in her hand and then folded her arms. "How do they expect anyone to be positive in Hell?"
"Aw c'mon Heloise, we have a lot to be positive about. We both have houses, friends, and this sweet le-mon-ade."
Heloise just looked at Jimmy, confused and annoyed. She had never met anyone so, so optimistic. So friendly. So stupid. But she looked at Jimmy; at his bright smile and his happy face. She started to feel something deep in her stomach. It felt like something was fluttering in there, like a horde of exploding butterflies going off inside her at once. She had no idea what this feeling was, but it made her want to not stab Jimmy… It almost made her want to hold him in a non-violent way.
"Hey Heloise, your face is all red again." Jimmy giggled.
This time Heloise attempted to cover her blushing with her sleeves. "Oh, it must have gotten warmer again." She gave a nervous smile. "Anyway it's getting pretty late; I think I'm gonna turn in now."
"Oh yeah." Jimmy had completely lost track of the time. He looked out the window and saw the dark-purple sky, lit up by Miseryville's bright moon. "I guess it is pretty late. So do you want to me to help you clean up?"
"Um no, that's ok, I've got it." Heloise could feel herself blushing even more. She grabbed the two empty glasses and pitcher and hurried to the kitchen.
Jimmy got up from the couch and stretched. "Ok then, see ya tomorrow."
"Wha-oh. Oh yeah sure. Tomorrow." Heloise softly shouted from the kitchen. "Can't wait…" She heard the door open and close as Jimmy left. "Finally."
It was completely quiet in her dusty, debris covered house. Heloise stayed motionless in her kitchen, still holding the glassware, until she was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief. And by sigh, of course I mean scream bloody murder.
"GOD DAMN IT!" She screamed as she threw one of her glasses across the kitchen. The cup hit one of the walls and violently shattered on impact, sending glass bursting everywhere. She took the other cup and launched it against the wall as well, sending another shower of glass flying onto the floor.
She breathed heavily as she attempted to release all of her pent up anger and frustration. She wasn't used to feeling so many conflicting emotions at once. She hated Jimmy. She… didn't hate Jimmy. At least not as much as she thought she did. The girl grabbed a hold of her aching stomach. This feeling she had towards Jimmy, whatever it was; she was pretty sure she hated it. It prevented her from exacting sweet revenge on him. It made her go soft right when she had the perfect opportunity to get him. And now she'd have to face Lucifer in the morning.
"Now I know why they call it Miseryville…" She groaned in sorrow.