Chapter 16

The Abyss of Awesomeness

"Let go of me! Umph, I said LET GO!" Heloise snarled. She tried in vain to struggle free from her chains but they were triple bolted tightly around her body. The Minotaur guards held her above the ground to make sure that she couldn't run away. Jimmy was being led in handcuffs alongside her.

"Relax Heloise. I'm sure once we get to Lucy, we can straighten this whole thing out." Jimmy smiled optimistically. "This is probably just one big misunderstanding."

The girl rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure the ultimate ruler of Hell is a perfectly reasonable guy." She bit sarcastically.

"That's the spirit Heloise!" Jimmy smiled as the guards led them down yet another dimly lit hallway deep within the factory. "I wonder where we're going."

"Probably some back room where he'll torture us for eternity." Heloise answered, still wiggling in her chains.

"Naw, Lucy wouldn't do that. Maybe he just wants to tell me something." Jimmy thought aloud.

"Well then why did he send his army after you instead of just coming to you himself?" She asked, annoyed with Jimmy's naivety.

"Maybe he has a surprise for me." Jimmy beamed. "I hope its cake."

After another five minutes of walking down a series of maze-like hallways, the guards finally led them to a huge, spacious granite-grey room. There were humongous pictures of Lucifer VII hung up on the walls and in front of them was an enormous 40 foot tall balcony positioned between two humongous T.V. monitors.

"Alright, what's the big idea?" Heloise growled, having finally given up escaping her chains. "What exactly is this place anyway?"

"This, my dear little traitor, is the last place you'll ever get to see for an eternity, so I'd shut your trap and enjoy it if I were you."

Heloise and Jimmy both looked at the balcony and saw projected onto the two huge monitors a menacingly evil image of Lucifer grinning at them while he held a microphone.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME!" Heloise angrily shouted up toward the smiling Heinous.

"I said SHUT YOUR TRAP!" Lucifer shouted into the microphone, this time chuckling as he motioned for Samael to come to his side. "Now let's see here…" Lucifer grabbed a few papers from his worthless assistant, who was cowering and trying not to get to close to the devil. "Ah, here we are. Jimmy 'Two-Shoes'; oh you're in A LOT of trouble mister."

"Me?" Jimmy asked, frowning. "What did I do?"

"Well let's look." Lucifer's grin widened as he read along the first piece of paper. "'Three counts of being happy,' 'conspiracy to spread happiness,' 'failure to maintain a proper level of misery,' and finally 'multiple counts of annoying the Overlord of Hell.'"

"Uh, the 'Overlord of Hell'?" Jimmy echoed confusedly. "Who is that?"

"IT'S ME YOU SIMPLETON!" Lucifer snapped, momentarily losing his grin. He then took a deep breath and then flipped through the papers in his hand until he pulled out a second one. "Ha, and of course we can't forget about our sweet little serial killer here now can we."

Heloise screamed and looked as if she was about to explode with rage from hearing the words 'sweet' and 'little' used to describe her.

Lucifer smiled at seeing the girl angrily flail in her chains. "For you, Miss Heloise, we have the grievous crime of treason, not to mention a breach of contract." Lucifer then rifled through the papers in his hand until he pulled out one and held it up for the two to see. Heloise recognized it on the monitors as her housing form. "So I guess we won't be needing this anymore." The red devil monster took another deep breath, sucking in his gut, and then blew a powerful stream of fire from his mouth, incinerating the contract held up in his claws.

"Whoa Lucy," Jimmy's smiling mouth fell open in awe, "I didn't know you could breathe fire. That's awesmazing!"

Lucifer gave an annoyed, dry chuckle. He was surprised to find Jimmy's nicknames didn't have the same maddening effect on him as before. "Any who, now onto my favorite part." He cleared his throat before returning the microphone to his grinning mouth. "For both of your crimes against Miseryville, and more importantly ME—Lucifer Heinous the Seventh—I can think of only one suitable punishment for the two of you."

"Make us sit here while you keep talking for an eternity?" Heloise whispered over to Jimmy, causing him to giggle.

"NO YOU INSUFFERABLE BRAT!" Lucifer blasted into the microphone, having heard her little quip. The short devil clenched the device in his claws before an evil grin finally returned to his face. "Aha, very funny you tiny little elf. I'm sure the both of you will be laughing hysterically once you're trapped in my nightmarish prison for the rest of your eternal lives."

"'A nightmarish prison'? Pffft," Heloise scoffed. "It can't possibly be any worse than Hell."

"It's a thousand times worse than Hell, you little goblin." Lucifer spat. "So, as the Supreme Overlord of Hell and Misery, I—Lucifer Heinous the Seventh— sentence the both of you to spend an eternity inside the Abyss of Nothingness! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Lucifer lost himself in hysterical laughter, while Jimmy and Heloise looked at each other, both clueless.

"So what exactly is the 'Abyss of Nothingness' Lucy?" Heloise asked, smiling.

Lucifer's maniacal laughter instantly died. It was much, much more annoying hearing Jimmy's nicknames coming from this little girl. "The Abyss of Nothingness is a dark, empty space, filled with despair and misery. In it, nothing exists; no people, no objects, no color, no light, no hope, no nothing. Guaranteed to render anyone who falls in completely broken and miserable. And once you go in, there's no coming back out." Lucifer grinned.

"Uh, b-but sir," Samael tugged Lucifer's sleeve from behind, "what about those two times when we fell in and- OUCH!" Lucifer slapped his hand over Samy's mouth.

"Be quiet you idiot! That hasn't even happened in the storyline yet! Why must you always be so anachronistic!" Lucifer then kicked Samy off the balcony, sending the troll plunging 40 feet before slamming onto the ground.

"Okay, now where was I?" Lucifer asked aloud, returning the microphone to his mouth. "Oh yes, I was just about to banish the two of you forever." Lucifer snapped his fingers. His Minotaur guards then started shoving the still restrained Heloise and Jimmy out toward the exit.

The guards led the pair out into the factory's main lobby, before pushing them outside toward the tall, imposing walls surrounding the complex. Lucifer trailed behind them, grinning, as Samy slowly brought up their rear. Finally they stopped by the wall's entrance; Lucifer walked up in front of them, then stopped.

"Open it." He quickly commanded. "And make sure the cameras are running."

"Y-Yes sir, right away your Heinous." Samy quivered and ran to the side of the entrance, whispering something to the guards stationed at the wall. Immediately, the wall's entrance to the factory opened. Behind it, instead of the view to the suburbs and city, was a giant, floating, black splotchy-looking portal that gave off a bright yellowish glow at the sides.

Lucifer's grin widened, ear to ear, before he finally snapped his fingers again. "Up. Now." He commanded curtly.

"R-Right away chief." Samael looked up in the sky for a moment, before he suddenly put his fingers to his mouth and whistled.

Two large, screeching misery birds instantly flew down from above the clouds and carried Lucifer up to the top of the wall. The red devil stepped off and looked around at all of the floating cameras aimed directly onto him. He also looked down, 70 feet below him, at Jimmy and Heloise, who looked like a pair of yellow and brown dots. Lucifer reached into his suit's pocket, pulled out his microphone, and then turned his attention to one of the camera's focusing in on him.

"Greetings, citizens of Miseryville!" He smiled at the camera while speaking into the mike. "Have I got a special treat for you tonight!"