Chapter four!
It was time for her eight month check up with Clarkson, and although they tried to make her as comfortable as possible, it was never going to be a pleasurable experience being poked and prodded. Baby Crawley was now growing considerably and was very active and running out of room. Mary straightened her dress out over her large rounded belly and sat up as Clarkson packed his things away, she waited patiently for the verdict.
"Well Lady Mary, I'm pleased to say that everything is progressing how it should…" He looked up smiling as he closed his bag. "However, your blood pressure is a little higher than ideal. Mr Crawley tells me that you've been suffering from fatigue recently?"
"Yes…" she said tentatively "I always seem to be tired at the moment, but that's normal, isn't it?"
"Have there been any other changes? Any nausea, dizziness or pain for instance?"
"I've had a few dizzy spells, but nothing serious…and headaches, I get them quite often, but they're not severe and they usually pass quickly"
"Good, it is not of immediate concern" he assured seeing the worry etched on her face "but you should try not exert yourself, have plenty of rest and fluids and I will come back to check up on you again soon"
"What does it mean?" Mary asked anxiously "For the baby, will it be alright?"
"There's no reason why it shouldn't be Lady Mary" Clarkson reassured. "It's quite common in first time mothers, and your symptoms don't seem to be too serious. We just need to keep an eye on it, that's all." He moved towards the door "Now, if you'll excuse me Lady Mary…"
"Yes, or course, thank you Clarkson." The doctor nodded and left the room.
Mary sat back down on the bed sighing, her hands went to her growing belly, as the concern pooled in her gut. She heard the quiet conversations downstairs, before the front door shut behind Clarkson. A few minuets later she heard the sound of soft footsteps up the stairs; Matthew opened the door quietly and sat next to her on the bed.
"Are you alright darling…?" he asked, she looked deep in thought, he rubbed her arm affectionately. "Mary?"
"Yes…" she replied distractedly, not looking at him "I'm fine…" Feeling out of control of her body was not something she was used to, and it was starting to fray her nerves. Her body had certainly not been her own over the last few months and she couldn't wait until their baby was in her arms, instead of her belly.
After her vague response Matthew tried a different tactic. "Clarkson's given me strict instructions for rest and relaxation" He chuckled uncertainly, trying to bring her back to him.
"Yes, so I've been told…" She had to stop herself from snapping at him, but swallowed her frustration at his anxious, endearing expression.
"I know you're fed up" He said, as he took her hand and kissed it. "But I will do whatever it is you need me to…"
She breathed deeply, and brought her hand up to caress his cheek "You're here, that's all I need." She gave him a small, genuine smile.
About a week later…
Mary occupied her usual chair in the drawing room reading; she was part way through the third chapter and was already completely bored. The same old naive heroine and gallant hero, life had seemed to grind to a halt and the walls of Crawley house were fast becoming a plush prison. Matthew and Isobel had practically been keeping her under lock and key, she'd not even been out the house for more than half an hour at a time this past week. It was hardly fair, when Matthew had his work and Isobel had the hospital. She was pregnant, not an invalid. She took a look out of the window, it was sunny outside and she so desperately wanted to go for a walk, just a short one she told herself. She would be back long before Matthew arrived home. She looked down stoking her swollen belly "Time to take a brake from all this resting little one…Humm? Some fresh air will do us both good I think." Baby had been as restless as mother during the night and Mary was craving some exercise to ease the ache in her lower back, circuits of the sitting room just weren't doing the job.
She scrawled a quick note, just to be safe, before donning her thin summer coat and nodding to an anxious looking Molesly who closed the door behind her. Inhaling a long breath freedom she thought. The smile she wore was one of triumph and rebellion. She stepped onto the street and started walking, already feeling better for being outside in the crisp summer air. Treading the familiar way out of the village and onto the woody path that would take her to Downton, not that she planned to go to go to the Abbey, but the shade that the leaves provided was welcome and the trees looked so very beautiful this time of year. The tension in her muscles started to dissolve and she felt more relaxed than she had in weeks… rest indeed. After a good while walking she took refuge on a bench overlooking one of the small lakes on the edge of the grounds of the Abbey. She'd come further than intended, but it had been so nice she didn't want to turn back. She settled comfortably on the bench, stretching her legs in front of her, resting her hands on her stomach she closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of the warm rays dancing on her skin. Her thoughts became infrequent and her eyelids became heavier in the gentle afternoon breeze.
Matthew strode into Crawley house, letting himself, old habits die hard. He wore a smile of satisfaction and carried a small bouquet of flowers and a selection of pastries from the bakery. He planned to cheer Mary up by taking her on an afternoon picnic; he was very pleased with this idea as he knew how desperate she was to spend some time outside of the house. His colleges had been more than willing to let him have the afternoon off to execute his plans. It would only be a few short weeks before they wouldn't be able to spend time in each others sole company, not that he minded of course. He entered the sitting room with a wide grin, expecting to find her there, nose in yet another book. He continued to roam the house in search of her, frowning gently when she wasn't to be found. Upon closer inspection he found her note;
'I've gone for a walk, I couldn't stay inside any longer – I won't be long, promise. Mary.'
He huffed "For goodness sake Mary" he sighed to himself, he went in search of Molesly, finding him tending to the plants in the garden. "Ah Molesly, were you aware that Lady Mary had gone out?" His tone was simmering away, along with his patience.
Molesly looked up rather sheepishly. "Yes Sir."
"Right, can you tell me when it was that she left?" Came Matthew's inpatient reply.
"Urm, about three hours ago Sir, is something wrong?"
He reminded himself that it wasn't the poor mans job to keep his wife indoors, not that he would have been able to if he had tried…"No, nothing's wrong…Thank you Molesly." He went back inside and this is where he sat, stewing in his own anger waiting for 'her majesty' to return. However, after another forty-five minuets his anger had cooled to a dull annoyance and after a further fifteen it had turned into a nagging concern. She'd been gone for nearly four hours, so when the front door opened he immediately shot up, expecting it to be Mary "Really, if you had just wait-…Oh, Mother." He stopped in his tracks.
"Well you needn't look so pleased to see me." Isobel said sarcastically, but on seeing his expression she softened "What's the matter?"
"It's Mary…I –I came home from work early to surprise her, but she left a note saying that she'd gone out for a walk…She's not back yet, and according to Molesly she's been gone near on four hours." Matthew blurted out in a rush, his eyebrows knotting with worry.
"Did she say where she was going?" Isobel asked as she hung up her coat.
"No, she only said that she wouldn't be long…"
"Well, let's not panic just yet" She said surveying Matthew's gaze "Have you rung the Abbey, maybe she's there?"
"I haven't, no. I'll do it now." Matthew scurried off to the phone, and returned a few minuets later "They've not seen her, but Robert's going to ride out around the grounds to see if she's on one of the paths."
"Okay, right, well. If she doesn't return soon I suggest that we ask around the village, there are only another few hours of daylight left."
"Yes, good plan." He agreed, although he was already hurriedly pulling on his coat as he spoke. His mother rolled her eyes at his impatience but as it was borne of concern and worry over his wife she supposed she couldn't blame him. Once Isobel had informed Molesly what was going on and she had organised both herself and Matthew they left. Taking the usual route through the village Isobel spoke again.
"Where do you usually walk?"
"We usually take the path to Downton" Matthew said, his strategic brain kicking in "If I follow the path and you cover the village…She wouldn't have gone further than that would she?" He breathed out, anger building up again, how could she be so stupid?
"No, I don't think so. Like you say, I'll look around the village, it shouldn't take long and I'll ring the Abbey when I get back. And Matthew, don't panic dear. She's probably just lost track of time." With that Matthew tried a weak smile and departed along the well trodden path.
"You can never just stay put can you…" He mumbled to himself, clenching his fists, the sun had lost its warm glow and although it was still mild he felt a chill creep up his spine. Now under the canopy of the trees he was walking at as faster pace as he could whilst scouring the surrounding area. His breaths were quick and his temper growing and after a while, he emerged a clearing at the edge of the estate, he stopped and looked around. His eyes tracing over the land, across the lake, covering his eyes from the glare of the water reflecting the low sun he saw her. Relief washed over him, quickly followed by concern and anger in equal measure. He strode towards the bench.
"Mary!" He walked towards her, as he drew closer he could see that her head was lulled onto her shoulder. Quickening his pace could now see her clearly; he knelt by the bench and shook her shoulder gently but firmly "Mary…Mary darling…wake up." His hand rose to cup her cheek, glad to find lingering warmth there.
"Matthew?" Mary murmured, her eyes fluttering open "Goodness, what time is it?" she said drowsily.
Matthew blew out the breath he'd been holding, pushing himself to his feet and paced a few steps before turning back to her. Now that he knew she was fine his anger started to seep back in. "I've been so worried about you…"
"I'm sorry, I -I didn't intend to be gone that long, I –" She stammered, sitting up properly and focusing her eyes.
"You're sorry? Oh, well that's alright then! No harm done I suppose!" Matthew bit back throwing his arms out in sarcasm.
"Matthew!" Mary looked around, coming to her senses. The sun had dipped behind the trees and now bereft of the warmth the air around them was cold.
"I don't want to hear it Mary, I know you're frustrated, I know!" He was shouting now as the anger and frustration boiled over. "But I've been trying my best; I even took the bloody afternoon off work to spend with you, to find you'd gone gallivanting around the countryside alone!"
Mary was momentarily shocked, but that soon gave way to the frustration that had bubbled its way to the surface. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to ruin your plans" she shot back tears silently sliding down her cheeks. "I'm tired Matthew" she rose from the bench swiftly "I ache…My feet hurt!" She said in a strained tone as she looked towards her pinching shoes.
Matthew shot her a sour look, but on seeing her sway dangerously on her feet he took her firmly by the elbow. Argument temporarily forgotten… "Are you alright?" He asked tersely, a tinge of anger still evident in his tone.
"Yes, yes I'm fine, I just stood up too quickly that's all" She snapped, pulling her arm away.
Although her reply grated on Matthew, he looked to her hands curled protectively around her stomach and was reminded of the situation. His frustration would have to take a back seat until they were home. "Come on…Let's get you home and in the warm, it's almost dark." He offered his arm begrudgingly.
Mary sighed; wiping the stray tears from her face, she took his arm. They walked in tense silence for most of the way back. Until she started to lag behind, Matthew slowed to accommodate her pace, noticing her grip tighten on his arm. He moved his free hand to the small of her back and pulled her towards him, although this made it more difficult to walk he felt safer holding on to her like this. "Darling, are you quite sure you're oaky?" The previous concern was mounting again, and the anger had subsided…
"Yes." She breathed "We're almost home…" She leaned on him for support reluctantly, but she was struggling, and she had to admit to herself that she hadn't acted terribly sensibly.
Matthew regarded his wife, how uncomfortable she was. She'd been carrying their child around for seven months, and it had been so draining on her mind and her body. He realised, as he looked at her that he didn't know what that felt like, of course he prided himself on being there for her every step of the way. But he couldn't take the burden from her; of course she was bored and fed up. He felt a twinge of guilt at this thought; he'd been working extra hours to finish his current case in time for the baby. He hadn't forgiven Mary for her foolish actions, but he couldn't be angry with her either.
Isobel answered the door of Crawley house looking anxious, it was now dark and there had been no luck at the Abbey. So on seeing the couple at the doorway her worry melted into an exhausted smile. "Where in heavens name have you been?" She said exasperatedly as she ushered them in.
It was only now that Mary was beginning to see what a fuss she'd caused, she chewed on her lip, not looking her mother in law in the eye. "I'm so sorry, I –"
"Mary decided that after her walk she would have a nap, didn't you darling?" He said softly, whilst unfastening her coat and slipping it from her shoulders.
She looked up at him, confused by his teasing tone and smile that he wore. Her eyebrows gently pulled together as she searched his eyes for the anger that she was sure she would find in them. "Yes, I…" She trailed off as Matthew held her gaze.
"Yes dear?" Isobel got the feeling that she was missing something, but that was between them.
Mary broke from their eye contact abruptly at Isobel's words. "I didn't mean to fall asleep" turning a deep shade of pink in embracement. "I'm so sorry for all the trouble and worry I've caused you."
"Well, no harm done in the end I suppose. I'll go and ring the Abbey to let them know you're safe and home…" Isobel left, leaving Matthew and Mary stood awkwardly in the hall way.
She touched his arm "I am sorry Matthew, truly I am, I just needed some air."
He smiled leaning in to tuck some stray hairs behind her ear. "I know, we can talk about it later…"
Isobel came bustling back in "Well, that's all done. Now dear, you look exhausted, something to eat and then bed I think."
Mary was somewhat pale now bathed in the light, which didn't go unnoticed by mother or son.
"I think I'll just go to bed, I'm not hungry, I just need to lie down."
"I'll have a tray sent up, do try and eat something Mary…" Isobel watched her climb the stairs before turning to Matthew. "Keep an eye on her tonight Matthew, I'm not at all convinced that she's well, she certainly doesn't look it…"
Mary reached their bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, wrapping her arms around herself, another coil of pain unwinding within her. She breathed deeply and set about readying herself for bed, she had tried to hide her growing discomfort on the way home. But now it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Anna knocked and came in to see Mary bending over with her arms resting on the side of the bed.
"Are you alright M'lady?" Anna said worriedly, rushing to her side.
"Yes, I'm fine, Anna" She huffed, straightening up "Just a little twinge, it will pass soon." She smiled sheepishly as Anna helped her change, the assisting her to the edge of the bed.
"Will that be all M'lady?" Anna asked, eyeing her mistress with apprehension.
"Yes thank you Anna, goodnight." After a final troubled glance in Mary's direction, Anna bobbed and left.
Mary shifted trying to get settled, finding that the only way to ease the burning ache was to being her knees up as close to her chest as possible. After a while she decided to see if she could walk it off, but when she slid off the bed, to find the bed linins and her nightdress were sodden. Fear flooded through her as she took in what it must be, she stood still for a moment in disbelief when the familiar sensation coiled in her lower abdomen. Her hands flew to steady herself on the bed as she tried to think rationally. A low moan escaped her as she took a few heaving breathes.
"Matthew?" Her voice was strained, she was panicking, this really shouldn't be happening now. "Matthew!"
On hearing his name called he appeared at the door with his shirt unbuttoned, he'd been in the middle of getting changed. "Good God Mary, are you alright?" He stepped into the room and came to her side, rubbing her back. His faced paled as he saw the state of the bed sheets, Mary met his eyes, she was flushed and a sheen of sweat covered her neck and face.
She grabbed onto his arm. "It's not time yet Matthew! Not for weeks yet…" She said desperately whilst shaking her head.
The evening had certainly taken a turn for the unexpected. "I – I'll tell Mother to ring Clarkson…" He dithered attempting to detach Mary's grip on his arm.
Mary was gripped by another tendril of pain curling inside her "Don't leave me Matthew!" She looked up at him, there was no way she was letting him leave, she did not want to be alone now "Please?"
Matthew looked at his wife, of course he couldn't leave her like this, what was he thinking? "Yes…Right…" With this he helped her back onto the bed, and after reassuring Mary that he wasn't leaving he went to the bedroom door and shouted;
"Mother!"
*DUNDUNDUNNNNN. What do you think? I had trouble writing this section, I did some research into the medical side of things and I hope that I didn't get anything too wrong! One chapter left – and maybe an Epilogue if you want one. I would love feedback on this chapter as it's the one I'm most unsure about, thoughts? Thanks for reading! :)