Undefined-Chapter 3

Songs:

Still Breathing-Mayday Parade (Magnus)

My Last Goodbye-Trading Yesterday (Camille and Magnus)

Alec walked down the hallway of the history building, his heart fluttering in his chest, both from nervousness and anticipation. He felt both out of it, being his first day and the feelings he had hoping Magnus would have his class. He was on his way to a class on European History, and Alec only hoped that qualified under the history Magnus was taking. He knew it was absurd but he was really interested in Magnus. Alec had known his sexuality for some time but he had never felt the same pull Magnus had on him with any other guy. Well, except Jace. But the pull to him was different. Jace made him feel safe, made him forget the world. And with him, he was just there. Magnus wasn't. Magnus was intriguing, dangerous, and he was definitely not available. Although Alec didn't think his couple status would last longer, not that he was hoping or anything.

Alec turned the corner into his class, the lecture hall already full of about 150 students. He searched around for a seat, the movement of the students making it difficult. It was then that he saw Magnus waving down at him. Not that it would have been hard to spot him if he hadn't waved. Magnus was a walking billboard the way he was dressed. He had on rainbow pants and a black shirt that hugged his body. His hair was spiked and once again, it glittered like a five year old's fairy costume. Where some people might have found Magnus' style choices eccentric and weird, Alec found them intriguing. He found that they were like another part of Magnus, more than just his clothes, and that they fit him perfectly. Personally, Alec wouldn't even go near anything with glitter on it, but for Magnus it fit.

Alec ascended the stairs to where Magnus was sitting, taking the open seat next to him. "Hey, thanks."

"Don't mention it darling." Magnus winked at him when their professor walked in. The silence in the room was almost overwhelming as voices cut off and the last of the straggling students took their seats. The professor shuffled around at his desk before turning to look at the students. He was in his mid-40s, with graying hair, green eyes, and sharp features. His eyes searched the students for a few seconds before he crossed around his desk to stand in front of the class.

"Welcome to European History. If that's not what you signed up for, leave now." He looked around but no one proceeded to leave the class. "Good. My name's Professor Starkweather and make sure you don't forget it." He crossed the floor, his hands clasped in front of him. Alec watched his movements, not quite sure whether the professor cared to be there or not.

Alec continued to watch and listen as Professor Starkweather started his first lecture of the year. He started by talking about himself and his career as a teacher which Alec found little interest in. He found his focus slipping off to Magnus who sat leisurely beside him, his boot clad feet propped on the open seat in front of him.

Alec knew Jace would be laughing at the absurdity of it all and in truth, Alec was too. He didn't have a chance in hell with Magnus, and it was that simple. No more said.

The professor switched off to talk about the class syllabus, which Alec knew he had to listen to, so he tried his damndest to ignore Magnus next to him. He finished with a quick overview of the course and what would be covered and then 30 minutes later, he had finished speaking. Around him people had begun doodling on their notebooks, and a few appeared to be dozing off. The wonders of the first class of the first day of school.

It was then that Professor Starkweather switched his rant to history. Alec wouldn't say his voice was necessarily monotone, but it was dry and extremely boring. Alec only hoped that it would animate a bit when he began teaching. It didn't.

An hour later, class was dismissed and Alec was more than enthused to get out of there. He picked up his book bag, leaving the aisle, followed shortly by Magnus. Magnus fell in stride with Alec as they descended the stairway. Alec saw the eyes that followed Magnus, but he appeared oblivious to them all. They both left the classroom, leaving the large lecture hall behind.

"So, he's about as animated as a wax figure."

Alec laughed at Magnus' comment. "Come on, he tries."

Magnus's eyes darted to glare at him, and a grin flashed over his face. "Yeah, about as much as a shark tries not to eat people."

They both smiled, leaving the conversation there as they left the building into the cold September air.

"So, I'm off to Harrison. I'll see you around." Magnus winked a glittered eye as he swung around, leaving Alec rooted to the spot. He watched Magnus walk away, lost until someone ran in to him, knocking him sideways.

"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt your daydream about your boyfriend."

Alec looked up to see a guy about 6'3" walking down the sidewalk with a few friends. His head was turned towards Alec as he spoke, a grin on his face as he slapped hands with his friends.

A shot of pain went through Alec's being. The hatred in his voice was there, despite the joking manner of his comment, and Alec had never thought he could feel the way he did. He felt like the man had shattered him. No one knew about Alec, except maybe Isabelle, and to hear some stranger who didn't even know him, say what he did, well, it hurt. It was like a thousand knives cutting through his heart, destroying all the feelings of happiness he had inside him. He knew it shouldn't bother him because what did that guy know? Regardless of that fact, it still hurt. It killed every happy thing inside of him. It killed the marvel of the emotions he felt for Magnus and it proved what he had thought all along; no one would accept him for who he was. It was as simple as that.

Alec finally managed to dig himself out of the depressing hole the man had thrown in him, so that he could be on his way to his next class. He hurried to his English class, dejected and completely out of it. Comments like that were what he was afraid of. He was afraid of what he was because he was afraid of what the world would say. And here were all his fears coming true.

Alec rushed into the lecture hall just in time. Eyes fluttered over to him and in his mind he was thinking they were judging him, laughing at him. They all knew what he was and they hated him for it. But in the back of his mind he knew that wasn't the truth. They didn't know anything about him and he knew they were just looking at him because he was the last one there.

Alec searched the room, finding a free desk near the front. He hurried over, taking a seat next to the same girl Jace had been checking out the day before. Up close, Alec thought she was quite pretty and decided then that he'd keep this little tidbit of information away from Jace if he asked. Jace would simply offend his inability to attract the female gender for the umpteenth time.

Alec had little time to continue looking at her because the professor had cleared her throat and begun to talk. Once again, Alec sat through what felt like forever of talking, and again, he was distracted. The girl next to him kept taking notes as the professor spoke and he couldn't help but throw glances her way. He didn't know if the sudden attraction was an after affect of the pain he was feeling or if it was an actual attraction.

Finally, the class dismissed and Alec felt a wave of relief flow through him. He had to say, the first day of University was extremely boring. Alec moved slowly, packing up his notebook into his bag. He stood up and almost ran directly into the girl next to him as she stood too.

"Oh, sorry," Alec said softly, blushing as he moved out of the way so she could get by.
She smiled. "It's alright." She maneuvered her bag onto her shoulder as she held out her hand. "I'm Anna."

Alec was slightly shocked by the gesture but was polite and, as expected, he did as he was raised to do, and took her hand. "Alec."

"It's nice to meet you Alec." She met his eyes, and Alec felt that attraction again. "See you tomorrow." She smiled and left, brushing against him slightly as she walked away.

For the second time that day, he watched someone walk away, but unlike the last time, no one made a comment.

Alec sighed as he left the hall, being one of the last to exit. His mind was all over the place, fighting against itself in his brain. His emotions were in a constant tug-of-war, and his heart was trying to figure out whether it wanted to be broken or semi-together as it normally was.

Alec had never really felt anything for anyone in a romantic way. He had never really felt physically attracted to anyone either. Both emotions he was feeling, and both were extremely overwhelming. He wasn't sure what to make of everything, and he wasn't even sure what to make of himself. Who was he? What was he? What was it that he felt towards Magnus? Why was he feeling an attraction to a female? It didn't make sense. Nothing did.

And it didn't help that when Alec left the building he had no idea where he was.

~~~

After finding his way back to his dorm, Alec lay on his bed, his mind numb and his soul tired. He had managed to find his way to all his classes without being late, and he had also managed to survive four classes of non-stop lecturing. By the time his fourth class, Shakespearean Literature, came around, Alec was exhausted and even zoned out a bit near the end. He knew things would be different once class picked up but for now, Alec felt about as animated as a wax figure. He hadn't seen Magnus or Anna for the rest of the day, and he was disappointed. He had hoped to have another class with Magnus, but instead got stuck sitting next to a guy slightly reminiscent of what Jace thought his roommate would be like, in third period.

Overall, his day had been lousy and now all he wanted to do was sleep. But sleep was ruled impossible when his cell was going off like the energizer bunny, on his desk. Alec had chosen to ignore it the first few times, figuring the person would get tired and give up, but no, they kept it up for another 10 times.

Alec sat up on the fifteenth attempt, his head spinning. He stumbled out of the bed, over to his desk and picked up his phone. Surprise. It was Jace; the only person next to Isabelle who was persistent enough to call someone 15 times and text them 10 without reply. Clearly Jace either had nothing better to do or it was his vendetta to annoy the hell out of Alec. Alec was actually betting on both.

Sighing, he picked up his phone, hitting the talk button as he put it to his ear.

"Jace," Alec said as he slumped down in the desk chair.

"Don't sound so excited to hear me. This is an honour you know. I could be doing something else and not have even thought to take the time to call you." The humour in his voice was overwhelming.

"Whatever Jace. We both know you have nothing better to do."

"Ok, ok. What got stuck up your ass?"

"Nothing," Alec sighed, rubbing his temple. He just did not have the time or the mental capacity at that moment to deal with Jace.

"So, you're just PMSing all the time?"

"Typically, yeah." He wasn't in the mood to fight Jace otherwise he would have made a remark.

"So, how was your day?" he asked, as it was exactly what Jace wanted to hear.

"Clearly more entertaining than yours. I met a girl."

"How am I not surprised?" Jace always met a girl.

"No. I mean an honest to goodness girl with morals and everything. Nothing I did worked on her." He sounded defeated, but there was something more in his voice then just a feeling of self conservation. It almost sounded like Jace was disappointed nothing had worked because he wanted her for more than what he normally did. It almost sounded like he might like her.

"Finally! Someone who isn't in love with you Jace. How's your ego feeling?" Nothing had worked. Now Alec was surprised. Clearly this girl was special and Alec almost feared for her given how much Jace would try with her.

"Would you stop being such a dick? And why didn't you answer your phone? I called at least a dozen times."

"15 actually. But, I was sleeping. Unlike you I had to actually do something today." Alec spun in his chair, stopping when the window came into view.

"Right. University. How'd that fair for you Alec? Get your ass kicked?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Ah, you did didn't you?"

"No. I sat through hours of lectures, which if you want I can tell you all about them."

"No thanks, I'm good."

"So then tell me about the girl."

He heard Jace maneuver on his bed, clearing getting comfortable since he had a lot to say. "Her name's Clary. She's short, curly red hair, deep green eyes, and a stubborn nature worse than Isabelle's. She's new to the area and she was at the school when I went to run. We talked for a while and all the motions I normally do didn't work. I know she's not normally my type but there was something about her that made me feel something I've never felt before, you know?" Oh, yeah, Alec knew perfectly. "She's just different and she's got this smile that's just amazing."

"Really? Is Jace Wayland, the biggest player at Rosewood High actually feeling something emotional for a girl?"

"Shut up." Defeat could be heard in his voice. "I don't know man. I just want to know more about her. I want to know what her favourite food is, what her favourite song is. I just want to know her. I think maybe I'm done going from girl to girl. It's a new year and maybe it's time Jace Wayland turned over a new leaf," Jace paused, and Alec wasn't sure if he was contemplating the possibility or the absurdity of his words. Alec bit back the urge to laugh. "But what about you, any girls catch your eye?"

Yeah, one girl and one guy. "Nope."

"Oh, come on, I know that voice. Don't lie to me Alec."

Alec scowled in defeat. "Fine. Her name's Anna. She's in my English class." Alec was going to leave out which girl it was.

"And…?"

"And I barely said two words to her, so it's not that big a deal."

"Uh huh. Was she that pretty blonde you were attempting to check out the other day?" Interest coated Jace's voice.

Damn him. Why does he always know when I'm hiding something? "Yes, but what difference does it make?"

"'What difference does it make?' It makes all the difference. I mean, I can't believe she actually talked to you, because seriously dude, she is so far out of your league she's Pluto."

"Your faith in me is astounding," Alec said sarcastically.

"I try." Jace paused. "Look, I got to go. I convinced Clary to let me show her around and she's expecting me in 5. Keep me posted on Anna, and if you don't work out, be sure to give her my number."

"And what about Clary?"

"She may let Isabelle convince her I'm an ass. I need an alternative in case she falls through. I don't do single well."

"I thought you were turning over a new leaf?"

"Summer's not over yet. Now I really gotta go. And, ah, next time pick up your god damn phone."

"Next time, don't call me 15 times." But Jace was gone and Alec's words were just empty, hanging in the air unheard. Alec let out a breath as he put his phone back on the desk. He stood up slowly as he crossed the room to his window. Looking out he could see the school campus in the distance. He knew exactly where Magnus' tree was and looking in that direction he imagined Magnus sitting there, drawing as he always did.

That was when his hand fell on the picture Magnus had drawn for him. He looked down at it, folded halfway on the nightstand. He unfolded it slowly, glancing from it to the window. To quote Jace, he just wanted to know more about him. He wanted to know his favourite food, his favourite song. He wanted to know Magnus Bane.

~~~

Magnus sat on the couch, Chairman Meow rolled up in his lap and a re-run of Law and Order flashing on the screen. But Magnus' mind wasn't on the TV, nor had it been for the last hour and a half. As his hand stroked Chairman's fur, his thoughts were on Alec Lightwood. From the first moment he had seen him, standing there with his family; Magnus had felt an attraction to him. Something about his unkempt hair, the way his blue eyes darted quickly from place to place, the way his cheeks blushed a soft red every time Magnus said something to him, and most especially the way he played sub-consciously with the holes in his shirt, made him very interesting.

Then there was the day with Camille. Magnus had known all along that Alec had been sitting there and it was partially why he had chosen to go draw at that moment. He had originally gone there with Camille to find their classes but when he saw Alec when he was done he told Camille he wanted to go draw. She said she was going to go see one of her teachers and would be back for him when she was done. He hadn't really had any intentions to talk to Alec, had simply wanted to be near him. Camille was just an unfortunate circumstance. But, on the fortunate side, he did get to talk to Alec.
He didn't quite understand why he was feeling that way, but he liked it. It was different from the way he felt with Camille. With Camille there was no emotional attraction and it had always been, for the last year and a half, about the physical aspect. Magnus had been happy with her once, but the last three months had just been a downward spiral. Magnus thought things would be good when they were at different schools since they could both spread their wings, but no, Camille had chosen to go to Idris instead of Tisch. In his opinion it was a bad idea. Tisch had a better program than Idris, even if Idris was ranked second in the Theatre program. Magnus just had to put it down to the deciding factor being him. Yippee. Wasn't he lucky?

Magnus looked down at Chairman Meow wondering what it would have been like to not have Camille there. He could hear her in the bedroom getting dressed, and the thought of her there was annoying. Magnus just wanted to be able to sleep with Chairman Meow at his feet and the only thing around him would be his blankets. The more time he spent with Camille the more he noticed everything about her that drove him crazy, and not in a good way. Her jaw cracked when she ate, her laughter was two octaves above the normal person, she liked her feet massaged, and she had too many clothes, which was saying a lot seeing as Magnus had enough for three people. But that was only the beginning. Magnus had a whole list of other things she did, and the top one was locking Chairman Meow out of their bedroom and any other room she happened to be in. She had always hated his cat, which Magnus had ignored quite well for some time, but now that they lived together, her aversion to cats was intolerable. And her little spiel about getting rid of him was the last straw. He was tired of her telling him what to do and how to do it. He didn't want to be pushed around anymore.

The door of the bedroom opened behind him and Magnus heard Camille's footsteps. She came into his peripheral vision, her clothes barely covering her skin. Where the excessive skin would have normally pricked up Magnus' senses, it didn't. Instead, he was thinking about taking Alec's holey shirt off and seeing the skin underneath it. He knew it was wrong and he shouldn't, but he saw the way Alec looked at the blonde. You didn't look at someone like that just because. Magnus knew what Alec was, even if Alec didn't. He knew it was also wrong on the front that he had a girlfriend and should not be thinking about a boy, but he was. He was thinking about Alec and he was thinking about how bad he really wanted to know him.

Magnus was brought out of his reverie by the sensation of Camille's lips on his cheek. They brushed against his skin, sending a familiar sensation through him. Still, there was something about Camille that sparked something in him, and he had to say, it was worth the foot massages.
Which, speaking of, she wanted one now. Camille positioned herself on the couch, sitting down as Chairman Meow left. A smile crossed her face as she threw her legs on Magnus' lap. She didn't even have to ask. It was simply automatic. He began with the left, hearing the familiar sigh escape Camille's lips.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm?" Magnus wasn't really listening.

"I asked, what's wrong?" She looked up at him, her face showing concern. "You never watch Law and Order unless you're mind is completely somewhere else." The one good thing about Camille: she knew him pretty well and he felt like he could talk to her about anything.

Magnus looked at Camille sideways, sighing softly. "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"You." It wasn't completely a lie. Magnus moved to Camille's other foot.

Camille's brow clenched. "Good or bad?"

"Both."

Her eyebrows flew up. "Oh really? What were the bad thoughts?"

"What they always are." Magnus looked at Camille and their eyes met as they came to the same conclusion they always did. They didn't fight that much anymore, they more or less came to a mutual agreement. That was what their relationship had come to. They had sex, they slept, they woke, they went about their day, and they had sex again. They didn't talk or fight much, just simply looked at each other. Their fight two days ago was the first in a long time and it was about as bad as they got. The bad fights had ended months ago, and with them, so had any chance of their relationship continuing past the next few months. Magnus was kind-of looking forward to being single and away from Camille, and he knew she was too. But they stayed together like they did because underneath it all, there was some semblance of love. Underneath it all, Magnus still cared for her and she still cared for him. But in the end, all they were to each other were friends with benefits.

"I see. And the good things?" Magnus felt a shiver run through him. Holding her there, doing the one thing he hated the most he had actually managed to forget about Alec. He had managed to look at her face and see everything that kept him with her. He didn't love her but he did feel for her as much as he could bring himself to. He had never managed to love anyone in his life, not as they deserved to be loved. He figured it was just some defect in his heart, but then that defect was only really born 4 years ago. Camille knew about his past because there was no way he could keep it from her since they lived together, but she didn't know the whole story.

Magnus looked at Camille, meeting her gaze. The look in her swimming green eyes made Magnus want to be with her and forget everything. He didn't know where they'd be tomorrow or a week from then but in that moment, he just wanted her. He just wanted the fighting to cease and his waning thoughts to disappear. He wanted to stop thinking about Alec, no matter how much he wanted to. He wanted to just leave this world for a few hours and tackle his demons later.

Magnus pushed Camille's legs off his lap, turning to lean over top of her. He looked down into her eyes as she positioned herself so she was laying down. He leaned down, taking her lips with his. He drew her bottom lip between his as her hands met at the small of his back. Her hands massaged the muscles there as they explored each other's mouths. Magnus slid a hand down her side feeling her skin shiver beneath. All thoughts flew from his mind. All he wanted was her. All he wanted was the relationship they used to have where everything seemed so easy. He wanted the relationship where he was happy. He just wanted her, her and the silence that was enveloping him.

He couldn't quite decipher the reasoning behind this sudden change of heart, and he knew he'd regret it later, but for now, this felt right. This was where he was and he was almost glad for it. He wanted one last moment with Camille before his heart closed off to her forever. They both knew it was coming. It was coming and it would be here soon. Besides, Camille deserved someone who would give her everything she wanted. She really was a great girl and Magnus didn't regret being with her, but he knew he'd regret any more time with her. This was him giving her one last moment before it was all over. She knew too what he was doing, he knew that. They had fought and talked about breaking up but neither had done it. It was almost easier to just stay together then to break up. People could ask Magnus why he was with her in the first place and Magnus would say he didn't know. But deep down he felt for her, and that was why he was still there. Not that he'd be there much longer.

Magnus pulled his lips away slowly, looking into her eyes. "Thank-you."

"For what?"

"Everything." He moved his lips back to hers and then he was lost. He was lost with her for the last time.

First off I would like to thank my wonderful new beta Puckleberry .G for reading and fixing this chapter for me. She's absolutely wonderful. Secondly I would like to thank all you amzingly awesome people who have reviewed, favourited, or alerted Unstoppable. You all really know how to make a girl happy. Thank-you. Thirdly I would like to ask you to review. Good? Bad? Let me know. Fourthly, Chapter 4 will be on its way next week and I promise Alec and Magnus will say more than hello to each other.

Be the change,

Amber