Chapter 9

Unknown

Copyright: Unfortunately I do not own MI or any of its characters. But, all original ideas and concepts to belong to me.

Hello my wonderful readers. So this is probably the last chapter before the holidays. Quick warning: If you are uncomfortable with abuse please do not read the final part of the italics at the end. I would like to thank everyone who favourited, alerted, and reviewed the last chapter, you guys are unbelievably amazing. I would also like to thank –tayl0r. for the great chapter name suggestion, you are awesome and thank you so much. Finally I'm going to thank my beta Puckleberry Lightwood. MI. G who is absolutely amazing and a complete blessing and I couldn't do this without her help. Anyway, on with the story. Enjoy!

Songs:

Storm-Lifehouse (Magnus)

Whataya Want From Me-Adam Lambert (Magnus and Alec)

Confession-Red (Alec)

Best Kept Secret-Bare (Alec and Magnus-Relationship)

Alec's eyes fluttered open as his alarm pierced through his perfect dreams. He groaned, throwing a hand out to shut the alarm off. The sound cut out, leaving the room silent. He flinched when he felt Magnus' arm encircle his body, pulling him closer.

"Just 10 more minutes," Magnus whispered into Alec's ear.

Alec smiled as he remembered the weekend he had just spent with Magnus. Despite the numerous mosquito bites his skin was hosting, their date had been perfect and amazing. It was everything and more and when the sun came up in the morning, Alec couldn't honestly believe that they had spent the whole night there in each other's arms. They had only left because a new couple had chosen that hour to take up a make out session on the hill.

They had slept through the majority of their Sunday and had once again spent that night together in each other's arms. They just talked about life, about random things that had no purpose, and about themselves. Alec knew pretty much everything about Magnus, save facts about his family, which were few and far between. He never thought it was possible to know someone so well so quickly. With Magnus he felt like he could say anything, even if it was extremely embarrassing. He felt like Magnus had been the person he had been missing his whole life. He felt like Magnus was all he needed to obliterate his fears.

Magnus pulled Alec flush against his body, the inches of contact sending sparks through Alec's body. He kissed Alec's neck, laying a soft trail down his cold skin. "Good morning love."

"Good morning." He turned around to face Magnus. Magnus smiled, placing a few soft kisses on his lips. Magnus' face was void of make-up and his hair was straight and glitter free. Alec loved looking at him in that state; where he didn't have anything to hide his face. He brushed a hand across Magnus' cheek, pushing a few stray pieces of hair out of his eyes and behind his ear. "You do know you look beautiful without the make-up, right?"

"I do now." Magnus placed a hand on Alec's, taking it as he entwined his fingers with his. Magnus looked from their clasped hands to Alec's eyes. "So, what did you dream about last night?" An amused flame danced in Magnus' eyes as he spoke.

Alec couldn't remember but he knew it was probably Magnus. "I don't remember."

Magnus grinned. "Really? I guess I must have been mistaken when my name passed your lips then."

Alec blushed. "Oh god. I didn't?" He buried his head in the pillow.

"You really should consider making red part of your wardrobe. It really is your colour," Magnus teased.

Alec buried his head even deeper, his face getting redder by the second.

Magnus moved a hand to touch Alec's chin. He pulled his head from its hiding place, meeting his eyes. "But now, those eyes, well, that's a beautiful colour." Magnus brushed the pad of his thumb down the length of Alec's face, tracing each line slowly. Magnus' touch sent a chill down Alec's skin.

Magnus kissed Alec softly. His hand traced down Alec's side as he brought him closer.

Magnus went to kiss him harder when Alec's phone went off on the bedside table. He pulled away. "Son of a bitch."

Alec smiled, turning over to grab his phone. "It's Jace, and your 10 minutes is up. We have class to get to."

"Or…" Magnus took Alec's phone from his hand. "We could skip school and spend the day together without any unneeded interruptions."

Alec bit his lip. "As much as that offer is tempting, you and I both know we can't. Midterms, remember?"

"And your point is?"

"My point is that you may feel inclined to pay absolutely no attention in class, but I don't."

"It's not like it's my fault I don't pay attention. It's yours."

"Mine? How is it my fault?" Alec asked.

"Well, since I can't seem to keep my eyes off of you and all my thoughts are filled of ravishing you, you're kind of the centre of my inability to pay attention. Don't think you're the innocent one in the matter."

Alec's mouth opened and closed as he tried to form words.

Magnus grinned, kissing him on the lips quickly. "Now answer that phone before I murder your brother." Magnus got up out of the bed and headed for the bathroom.

Alec smiled as he watched the door close behind Magnus. He picked up his phone to view the texts that Jace had sent him. He scrolled down. Jace's impatience was seriously infuriating. He believed about half of the texts alone were yelling at him for not answering. Alec posed his fingers over the keyboard to reply.

What the hell do u want?

well, jesus, it's about time u answered.

I was busy.

busy. ok. anyway, did u hook up with anna?

No. Why?

well Iz has this crazy idea that ur gonna bring some1 home 4 Thanksgiving. i told her that's ridiculous since my pinky finger has more dating talent than u, but she insists.

Alec wasn't sure whether this revelation made him mad at Isabelle or not. He looked over at the bathroom doorway. Would he be bringing Magnus home for Thanksgiving? He hadn't even considered it really, and if he did that meant telling everybody, and he didn't know if he was ready for that. Besides, it was too early in their relationship to be proclaiming something like that. Who knew where they'd be two months from now?

Have u ever once considered having some faith in me?

in that category, no. but I do want to know what gave her such an idea.

I don't know. It's Isabelle, so can u rly be surprised?

not rly.

So how r u & Clary doing?

good, I guess. the girl knows how 2 play hard 2 get, & it doesn't help that kaelie's hanging from my arm every second of the frickin day.

Still?

yep. it makes it hard to even have a conversation with clary. but i try & i guess we'll just see where it goes. i really like her bro. i never thought it was possible, but she's different. she makes me feel something i've never felt b4.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

So ur saying u actually have a heart?

screw off.

I'm just saying. Anyway, I g2g get ready for class. & Jace, plz learn some god damn patience.

only for u love.

Alec shook his head as he put his phone back on the table. He swung his legs over the bed, rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands. He stood up to get ready for class and was done an hour before Magnus.

Alec and Magnus sat in their European History class, once again listening to a monotonous, never-ending lecture by everyone's favourite teacher. He once again found himself distracted by Magnus. He knew he needed to stop but he was finding it more and more difficult with every passing day. He couldn't get over the fact that he was able to call Magnus his. This beautiful, glittering man was his. He had never thought this would be where he was. He had never thought that he would find someone who truly made him happy and he had just thought that he would lie about himself and put on a façade his whole life. Finding someone like Magnus had always been a dream, but it had always been a dream Alec deemed completely unreasonable. But here he was. And there, right beside him, was Magnus.

Alec was so engrossed in his thought process about his boyfriend that he didn't realize that Magnus had taken his hand with his. His first thoughts weren't about the sparks that the contact caused, but about the people around him. Had they seen that? What would they think? Alec pulled his hand away instinctively. He knew the moment he did it that he had made a mistake. He felt Magnus stiffen next to him and Alec felt his heart drop. He was such an idiot. Why did it matter what everybody else thought? Who cared? Alec cared. He cared because he was scared of what they would do, of how the world would see and judge him. And now, because he was so scared of how the world would see him, he had hurt the one person who did see him.

They hadn't talked about the relationship in public and Alec had never wanted to bring it up. He was just happy in his own little world that they shared in the dorm room and under the stars. He was happy with it just being him and Magnus, together, alone.

"I want that essay on my desk by Friday morning. You are dismissed." Professor Starkweather grabbed his briefcase and was out of the room before all the students, just as he was every day.

Magnus stood up beside Alec, threw his bag over his shoulder and was gone. Alec sat there defeated.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

He hadn't intentionally meant to make Magnus mad. He had pulled away on impulse without even thinking about it, and now he had a lot of explaining to do. He had wanted to talk to Magnus about how he felt but he didn't want to ruin the perfect bliss he was feeling. Also, he feared Magnus would think being with him was fruitless because he was scared of going public. He figured his fears would make Magnus leave so he hadn't confronted them. But now he had to. If he didn't confront them, he would ruin any chance he possibly had with Magnus.

Alec stood up, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He was the last to leave the classroom and he was the first to arrive back at the dorm that night.

Magnus opened the door to the dorm. He walked inside to see Alec at his desk doing homework. He threw his bag on the ground, having finished his homework at the library after class. He had needed time to think. What Alec had done was small but it hurt. It made Magnus feel like everything they'd said and done meant nothing to him.

Baby steps. That was what Magnus had told him at the beginning because he knew Alec was nervous about the whole idea. So he had taken baby steps, at least, he had gone as slow as he could. He figured taking Alec's hand classified under that section, but he realized quickly that it didn't. He now understood that Alec didn't want a public relationship. It was hard. He wanted to flaunt Alec to the world and tell everyone that the adorable boy was his, yet Alec didn't want that. Alec wanted it to stay in the dorm room, where it was safe.

The whole thing brought back memories for Magnus when he first found out. He had been scared of the world knowing who he was. He had been so scared of the judgment and the looks and the hatred he knew he'd get. But it was different for him. He had always known it was a part of him and he had embraced it instead of run away from it. There was a time in his life where he did run, where he got the judgment Alec was afraid of. But he escaped that and he expressed that part of him with the rest of himself.

Magnus wanted Alec to know it was okay. There were people in the world that Alec was afraid of but there were also people in the world who would love him for exactly who he was. Yes, it hurt to have Alec pull away, but he understood. This was new to Alec and he was still trying to figure it out. Magnus had figured it out when he was 14 and had had 7 years to adapt to it. This was Alec's first experience and he needed guidance. He was willing to be that guidance. He cared about Alec more than he knew and he would be there for him.

But right now, he needed Alec to ask him for it. He needed Alec to admit out loud what he was afraid of. Alec needed to tell Magnus what he wanted and he would give it to him.

Magnus sat down at his desk, taking out a textbook to read. He wasn't really intending to read it but at that moment he wasn't up to doing much of anything.

The seconds passed slowly as Magnus waited.

"I'm sorry. I know I hurt you."

"Yeah Alec, you did." Magnus looked up from his book to meet Alec's gaze. "Why?"

Alec bit his lip as his gaze wavered. He seemed to be fighting inside and Magnus knew perfectly well what he was thinking about. "Because I'm scared." His eyes snapped up to meet Magnus'.

"What are you scared of Alec?"

"The world; what people will say, what they'll think." Alec paused, biting his lip. "Of me."

"Alec…"

"I know. It's pathetic."

"No. God no." Magnus stood up, crossing the room to kneel in front of Alec. He took his hands with his. Alec kept his eyes on the ground as Magnus tried to catch his gaze. "Alec, look at me."

Alec's eyes snapped up and the blush on his face was redder than Magnus had ever seen it. "It's not pathetic. It's natural. We've all been scared of what the world will think, of how they'll judge us. Everyone feels it Alec. Everyone is scared at one time in their life."

"But I shouldn't be scared of this."

"Why shouldn't you be? This is new and anything new is always scary." Magnus paused. "Why didn't you just tell me you didn't want anything public yet?"

"Because I thought you'd leave."

"Now why the hell would I do that? Alec, if you're not ready I'll wait."

"I don't expect you to wait forever."

"It's the things I do for like." Alec smiled. "There we go. There's that smile I've been waiting for." Magnus placed a hand on Alec's face, cradling his head in his hand. He closed the small distance between them, laying a soft kiss on Alec's lips. "I'll wait." Another. "As long." Another. "As you." Another. "Need." Another.

"Mama?" Magnus looked up from his sketchpad to look at his mother. She was standing by her easel, painting for the first time in a very long time. Her black hair was held back in a loose bun and strands of hair fell around her angled features. Magnus looked just like his mother, minus his eyes, which were attributed to his father. He always thought she was beautiful, even with the blotches of purple and black paint that coated her skin.

She turned to look back at Magnus, a smile on her face. "Yes sweetheart?"

"Can we go out?"

"Out where?"

"Out anywhere. The beach. The ice cream shop."

"Sure Magnus." Magnus didn't know then that they didn't really have the money for ice cream. But he learned later on after reflecting on these moments that she didn't care because she wanted to give everything he asked for."Just let me go wash up." She put down her paintbrush as she walked over to the kitchen to wash her hands.

He closed his sketchbook, happy to be leaving the house. His father was gone, not that Magnus knew where; he had never asked. He just knew what state his father would be in when he came home, and that the few hours he had now were the best hours of his day. He wished he could run away from it all. Just run away and never look back. But he couldn't leave without his mother. He wanted to save her, to stop it all. But he couldn't stand up against his father. Looking down at his fists, his scrawny bones, and lengthy limbs, he knew he wouldn't even make a dent.

And he was scared. He was so scared of what his father would do.

"Alright, come on. Let's go get you some ice cream."

...

"And then...he flew off the building…landed on the car and caught the robber. Superman's my favourite superhero." Magnus said excitedly between mouthfuls of ice cream. "Who's yours? And don't you dare say Spiderman."

She laughed. "No. Batman."

"Batman? But Batman has no powers."

"Precisely. He solves crimes and saves the world without any superpowers. That's what truly makes him a superhero."

"So does that mean I could be a superhero?"

"Of course it does."

"I could call myself Captain Amazing, or Wolfman, or…"

"Alright my little superhero, eat your ice cream before it melts."

Magnus looked down at his ice cream, taking a bite as he bounced up and down on the bench with excitement. "A superhero. That's what I want to be when I'm older. A superhero. Just like you Mom."

"Like me?"

"Yeah. You save my world everyday and you do it without any superpowers." Magnus smiled up at his mother with a mouthful of ice cream.

...

The front door slammed open, the force reverberating throughout the house. The sound woke Magnus from his sleep, piercing through his innocent dreams of superheroes. He knew what was coming; he had prepared himself all day for it. He knew his mother was downstairs waiting for him to come home. He always came home late, screaming for food and yelling at his mother for everything that had gone wrong in his day. The yelling was followed by the hitting. It was always followed by the hitting.

Magnus grabbed his teddy bear, hugging it to himself. He imagined he was holding his mother, protecting her from the pain as she protected him. He tried to escape to another world like his mother told him to. Sometimes it worked, but sometimes, like tonight, it didn't.

"It's all your fault!" Slap.

"Please James. Just eat something and then go to bed. You've had a long day."

"Damn right I've had a long day!" Broken pot.

"James, Magnus is sleeping, please," she pleaded.

"Let him wake!" Slap.

His mother went quiet as she took the hits his father sent her way. Magnus held on tighter to his teddy bear. Five minutes. Five minutes and his father would make sure he was awake. The healed and open scars burned both on Magnus' skin and his soul. Darkness overpowered him as it always did, drowning out the little light Magnus' world had.

He tried to think about the superheroes he read about. He tried to imagine Superman or Batman coming to their rescue. He was even starting to imagine Spiderman. He just wanted it to end. He wanted to wake up from it like he did when he had a nightmare. He wanted to wake up and have his mother hold and rock him telling him it was just a dream.

But it wasn't okay.

His father's boots echoed up the stairwell, breaking through Magnus' small reserve he had started building. Magnus didn't look up but he knew from the shadow on the floor that his father was in the doorway.

"Look at me boy."

He looked up at his father. He was leaning against the doorframe, his face unshaven and his eyes wild. He reeked of alcohol, and by his unbalanced stance he had had a lot.

He didn't remember a time where he had ever known his father as anything different. He had one good memory of his father and that was from when he was 5. Then he got older and the only memories of his father he had were of pain, darkness, and hate.

"Did you have a good day today?" His words rolled lazily off his tongue.

Magnus shook his head yes.

"What did you do?"

Magnus gulped. "We went to the beach." He knew he couldn't lie to his father.

"The beach. Really?" He pushed himself up off the doorway as he took a few steps into the bedroom. "And you didn't think that maybe I would have wanted to go?"

"Sorry." The word squeaked out of his dry lips.

"'Sorry.' That's all you have to say?" His father stopped at the end of Magnus' bed. His shadow loomed over him as Magnus squeezed harder on his teddy bear. His heart beat a million miles an hour as he threw his gaze down on his bedspread. He didn't want to look at his father. He couldn't.

"Answer me!"

Magnus shook. "Tomorrow. We can go tomorrow."

"I don't want to go tomorrow." Magnus felt his teddy bear get ripped from his hands and automatically his safety walls fell. He had nothing to hold on to, to protect him. He was alone in the dark once again. He wanted to scream for his mother but he couldn't form any more words.

He heard his father unbuckle his belt beside him. He braced himself. He tried to hold onto the vision of his mother, of his superhero. She couldn't save him this time but she would save him next time. Then, when Magnus was big enough he would be his mother's superhero. He would save her.

The searing pain ripped through his body as his unhealed skin reopened. Blood trickled down his body, cold in the humid air. His father grunted beside him but all Magnus saw was darkness. He bit down on his lip to stop himself from screaming, cutting open the soft skin to create another trickle of blood. Tears formed at his eyes but he wouldn't cry. His father hit harder when he cried.

Another searing pain rushed through him as the screams built at the back of his throat.

Stop!

Please stop!

"Stop!"

Magnus shot out of bed, sweat dripping from his pale skin. His voice was rough, his hands were clammy, and his whole body shook. His father's face was burned in his vision and his hands were burning on his skin. The scars seared as the memories reopened them. Magnus' world was spinning, swirling in the screams and the blood. Once again he tried to grab hold of his mother's image. It was the one thing he had that helped him through the nightmares. She was the one reoccurring happy thing in all the hatred and the darkness.

Then he suddenly felt hands that didn't hurt. They wrapped around him, grounding him back to reality.

"It's just a dream. It's okay." Alec's words filtered through his body, washing through the darkness that had become his companion.

"Alec." The word fell as a whisper from Magnus' cracked lips. He was struggling to breathe, his heart bounding against his chest in unmeasured beats.

"I'm here, baby." Alec calmed him, his voice slowing the beat of Magnus' heart. The world still spun, the images of his past an onslaught against his brain.

He shifted, leaning into Alec's body, the solidity of his form and the sound of his voice working to wash away the pain. It didn't normally hurt so much, but this week it did. Every year this week hurt more than any other scar or broken bone his father gave him.

Alec brought up his hand to cradle Magnus' head against his chest. He pulled him closer, creating a safety blanket over him. Magnus had only once before felt this safe within someone's arms and that had been years ago; many, many years ago.

Magnus couldn't help but think of superheroes. He thought of Alec, with his arms around his frigid body, comforting him when he didn't even know why. Alec was saving him. He was dragging Magnus out of the cold dark oblivion that had been his life. For once, the tunnel wasn't so bleak and happiness and light weren't such an impossible possibility.

"Thank you," he said, looking up to meet Alec's eyes. He felt so broken. He felt lost and wandering in a cold, desolate world. The nightmares plagued his life, ripping apart his heart. They reminded him of all the bad things he had tried to forget and how he had been running from them his whole life.

Alec just smiled and nodded and that was enough for Magnus. It was enough that he was there. He knew Alec would question what he was dreaming about and what made him hurt so much but that was for the morning. Right now he needed to just forget and being there with Alec was working to help him forget. Being there with Alec was all he needed.

So there you go. I hope you all liked it and enjoyed the deeper look into Magnus' past. So my beta and I will try to update as soon as we can, but no promises. If this is my last update for the next little while I hope you all have amazing holidays, and if you don't celebrate the holidays I hope you have an amazing week or two. Until next time my lovely readers. Thanks for reading.