In response to Kat's comment. This is probably a mildly idealised version of what this sort of hospital would be like, more than it is reality.
After talking to Freya, who was far more interested in talking about 'A' levels than how her new medication seemed to be working, Arthur went back into the resident's wing. Arthur didn't mind the conversation, at least it gave him the hint that she was looking forward, and not getting caught up in worrying about her illness. Almost the opposite, she just seemed to be taking it as a fact of her life and getting on with it. It was her parents that worried about the possible stigma of schizophrenia, if anyone at the college ever found out.
"Oh, please!" Freya had announced, rolling her eyes. "Most people just go 'wow cool', and if they don't like it they can piss off!"
Arthur's telling her off for swearing really wasn't very effective, since he happened to be laughing at the time.
He felt a little more serious as he went back up to check on how Hunith and Will were getting on. On entering the corridor he encountered Lancelot bringing down a stack of breakfast bowls on a tray, and a carton of soya milk.
"What's that for?" Arthur indicated to the carton.
"So Vivian can see it's soya milk, and be convinced we are not giving her full fat."
"Is she happier now?" Arthur asked.
"Yes, she even apologised to me."
Arthur shrugged and then looked down the corridor. Will was stood outside Merlin's room, kicking his left heel against the wall and shifting about uncomfortably. Lancelot glanced back to follow Arthur's gaze.
"Real Mr Congeniality he is," Lancelot commented. It wasn't like Lancelot to make any sort of disparaging comment, so Will must have really made an impression. Arthur shrugged.
"I got the feeling he didn't really want to come here."
"Hunith wanted to give Merlin his breakfast, so I left her to it," Lancelot added as Arthur held the door open so he could get out and head downstairs with the tray and Arthur strolled down the corridor towards Will, who looked up at his approach, and scowled a little. Arthur calculated the reaction and decided it wasn't anything particularly personal.
Will almost blocked the door as Arthur tried to check on Hunith and Merlin, but Arthur still got a glance in. Hunith was patiently giving Merlin cornflakes, and Merlin was, as he had been with anyone who fed him, opening his mouth and slowly chewing each mouthful. He chewed the same way he blinked, a steady movement that seemed like reflex but Arthur's gut instinct was telling him that sometimes it might be more. Arthur decided not to interrupt Hunith and instead turned to Will.
"Everything all right?"
Will hunched, shoving his hands into his pockets and hunching his shoulders.
"I just," he stopped talking and looked up at Arthur from under lowered brows, again the belligerence was there. Arthur repressed his smirk, Will didn't trust him because he was a psychiatrist. It was something Arthur was entirely used to, and stopped taking personally a long time ago. Arthur waited to see if Will would go any further. After a few seconds pause he did, still scuffing his feet on the worn carpet of the hallway.
"I can't be in there, it's just too weird."
"It's not easy," Arthur agreed with him.
"Fucking patronising," Will snapped at him, Arthur raised his eyebrows.
"Maybe, but it's also a fact. It's not easy if you knew Merlin before. I'm used to this, and don't know him personally. It's not going to be easy knowing Merlin and seeing him like this."
"Is he going to snap out of it," Will asked, sounding less angry and more plaintive. Arthur gave a slow shrug and sighed.
"I have no idea, the only job I have at the moment is working out if the problem is neurological or psychological. If it's something in Merlin's mind, simply the trauma, or a self-induced retreat into his mind then maybe. It might take his mind time to realise that the situation is over, and that he's safe."
"Will he just wake up?"
"He might, people snap out of catatonic stupors like that. Merlin could just wake up one morning, possibly having no idea where he is, or it could be a slow process. The fact of the matter is; I think he is aware of his surroundings in some way."
"Then he must know he's all right then and that bastard that did this is gone. I've told him enough times."
Arthur raised his eyebrows. There had been hints from the hospital that had been treating Merlin of a visitor being rather aggressive with him. Arthur wondered if that was Will. The incident had been smoothed over by the police called in to attend, who had been working on Merlin's case. Arthur guessed that would have been either Morgana or Gwaine, who were both tactful and tactless in their own special ways.
"It's not as simple as that," Arthur said. "Five months of sustained abuse is a lot to deal with, and many of the injuries were severe. I've read most of the reports."
"What if it's it the other thing, the neuro –wotsit?"
"Neurological," Arthur mused, rather than corrected, but got glowered at again. "That's a different matter entirely. If there is brain damage, and the fact is the head injuries Merlin had received were extensive, then the catatonia may be permanent."
"So, he won't get better."
"I said may be permanent," Arthur corrected. "The brain is a funny thing, it might manage to repair itself. I haven't got a conclusive enough brain scan, his case will be reviewed in four months, which is standard for a new resident. It just gives me time to assess what's going on, I'm going to get another scan done, see if I can work out if there is any change. But quite frankly, I think my first recommendation will be he stays here for the time being. I'm not sure Merlin's case is so simple that it can be worked out in four months."
Will stared at him. He blinked several times and then glanced about.
"It's…" Will paused again, eyes flickering and then he said. "I just can't… deal with him. It's not Merlin sat there. I didn't even want to come but Hunith did so I said I'd drive her."
Arthur shrugged and nodded, not sure how to answer that, but he was convinced that it wasn't actually what Will meant to say.
"What happens if he doesn't get better?"
"If he fails to show any response, or I find out it is neurological, then it may be necessary to consider another route of long term care," Arthur said.
"What, he can't just stay here?" Will asked looking panicked.
"It will be a while before that is considered," Arthur assured him. "But if it's long term, and the damage considered permanent then depending on the situation there are other care places that cater for full time residency, or he could be cared for at home."
"Hunith would go for that, but she can't do it on her own."
"There would certainly be support visits," Arthur said.
Will shrugged again. "I'll help, I don't mind, I've been doing some bits around the house and garden, but I just can't…" he tailed off and turned to glance into Merlin's room, almost glaring at Merlin as well. It certainly wasn't Merlin's fault, and Will's reaction probably wasn't his own fault. He didn't have anyone to take his anger at the situation out on, so the people around him got the brunt of it. Arthur didn't think there was any more he could really say. He placed his hand briefly on Will's shoulder as a gesture of reassurance, and so he could also push him out of the way and go into the room.
Hunith was giving Merlin the last of his breakfast, as she offered up the last spoonful Merlin's jaw dropped so she could put it in his mouth. Merlin took it and chewed, the movement of his jaw slow. A drop of milk trailed out of the corner of his mouth and Hunith reached up to wipe it off. Merlin paused chewing when she did but resumed eating as she finished dabbing and withdrew.
"Everything all right?" Arthur asked.
"Fine," Hunith said, her voice sounded like she was determined to make it fine. Merlin swallowed his mouthful and gazed into space. Hunith picked up the plastic cup that Lancelot had also left, with a straw in it. As she offered Merlin the straw he took it, swallowing some of the orange juice. Halfway through the cup he stopped.
"Don't you want any more, Merlin?" she asked him.
Merlin didn't react.
"I think that means he's had enough. We're taking it as such," Arthur said. Hunith glanced at the juice,
"Pineapple is his favourite anyway," she added.
"I can get that fixed," Arthur said. Hunith turned and smiled up at him.
"He's getting well looked after," she commented. Arthur took the cup off her and she resumed holding Merlin's hand. He blinked again and stared at the wall.
"He will be."
"Where did he get the scarf?" Hunith asked, smoothing down the blue material around Merlin's neck."
"That was Elena, there's some scarring around his neck and both her and Gwen decided that roll neck jumpers weren't the right thing for him."
"What does it matter? Merlin doesn't care?" Will snapped from the doorway. Arthur glanced at him but didn't react too much.
"I'm not entirely certain that's true," Arthur argued. "They are only the smallest of reactions, and could be nothing more than reflex but my instinct tells me he's aware."
"Is he ever going to recover?" Hunith asked. Arthur shrugged.
"I can't honestly answer that," Arthur said. "As I said to Will, my first job is to find out if this is mental trauma or physical damage."
"Yes, I heard you talking."
Will looked a little shamefaced, Arthur just nodded. How could she not hear them, it wasn't like she was involved in her own conversation. Hunith turned and reached up to stroke Merlin's cheek.
"I just don't understand how that man could do this, to any of those boys. Merlin's so gentle natured and sensitive. I knew something bad had happened, when he didn't come home from work, but the police said they couldn't do anything until he'd been missing 24 hours. Then all they could do was file a missing person's report."
"Then that smarmy git turned to up tell her that Merlin might have been taken by that bastard, and they were trying to find him. What's so bloody funny?" Will demanded.
Despite himself Arthur hadn't been able to help the smirk. "I presume by smarmy git you mean Detective Chief Superintendant Pendragon."
"Yeah, you know him?" Will asked.
"Somewhat," Arthur said evasively.
"He was the one that recommended that Merlin come here," Hunith said. "He said if anyone could help Merlin it was you."
"Nice of him to say so," Arthur mused cynically.
"You know him well then?" Hunith asked. Arthur shrugged.
"Yeah, I'm Dr Arthur Pendragon, his son."
XxxxxxxxxxxxxX
Arthur sat in his consultation room, reading some notes and eating his lunch when his mobile beeped, announcing he had a text. He frowned when he realised it was Lancelot, until he opened the text which said, 'here be dragons!'.
A minute later Uther strolled in without knocking. Arthur glared at him but he stood up and let his father hug him.
"I could have been with a patient."
"I knew you weren't, I checked with the receptionist. She told me you don't have an appointment until two."
Arthur tried not to roll his eyes and curse Alice's helpfulness. Instead he glanced past Uther to spot an impeccably dressed Morgana, who was politely keeping back while father and son greeted each other.
"I presume this is business," Arthur said retaking his seat. Uther took the one nearest Arthur and Morgana settled delicately on the chair by the window, glancing outside for a moment before looking back, grinning as she saw the lunchbox.
"You like the present?"
"Yes, it's very useful, thank you Morgana. Everyone also thinks it's very cute."
Morgana sniggered. Uther waited for the moment to settle before saying.
"I would have thought you'd have called me before now."
Arthur looked a little embarrassed. "I've been a little busy."
Uther didn't look as if he entirely believed that but let it go. Instead he started on the subject he wanted to talk about.
"This is a business call, how's Merlin Emrys?"
Arthur shrugged and gave his father a condensed version of his first impressions. Uther listened without interrupting. Morgana produced a notepad from her bag and jotted several things down.
"His mother came to visit today, and his friend Will," Arthur added.
"How was he, the friend?" Morgana asked, sitting back and crossing her legs.
"A little bit bolshy, but I don't think he's handling the situation very well."
Morgana raised her eyebrows.
"Was he the one involved in the incident in the hospital?" Arthur asked her.
She nodded, uncrossing her legs again. "Yes, the nurses found him shaking Mr Emrys rather violently, and he slapped him. He said he just wanted him to wake up."
"If only it was a simple as that," Arthur said. Morgana gave a light shrug.
"I managed to calm the situation but I don't think he went back."
"The only reason he came this time was to drive Merlin's mother over, she was worried about getting lost on the way. I have to say I don't think he'll be back here again," Arthur said. "I'll warn the staff though, just in case he does."
"I doubt he'll hurt Mr Emrys again," Morgana said.
"Better safe than sorry."
"Usually the best way," Uther said. "Have you any opinion on whether he will recover?"
Arthur shook his head. "I have no idea, he's been through such a horrific ordeal that if the problem is psychological it's going to take years to unravel."
"I would be helpful if you could find a way to get some information out of him. The evidence would be of some assistance."
"You got the guy convicted though, didn't you?"
"He still plans to appeal. Some of the evidence is circumstantial, and we have a couple of holes which the defence picked at, but at least the jury was on our side."
"And we did have a confession," Morgana stated.
"That sort of makes it cut and dried doesn't it?" Arthur asked. Uther shrugged irritably.
"It became inadmissible."
"Oh," Arthur said. He didn't really want to get into a conversation about the trial. Uther didn't either, instead he said.
"May we see him?"
"Sure," Arthur said, standing up eating the last of his sandwich. Morgana stood up, smoothing her already smooth pencil skirt and picking up her well coordinated bag. Arthur stared at her neat court shoes.
"How do you chase criminals in those shoes?"
Morgana smirked. "I get Gwaine to do it."
Arthur laughed and rolled his eyes. "It is his thing I suppose. Merlin should be in the day room."
Again, as they walked, Morgana stayed back a little way from the two men. It was as if she knew what the topic of conversation was going to be. Although it took a little while, it didn't surprise Arthur when, as they crossed the reception area, Uther asked.
"So, how is your mother?"
"Mum's fine, you could phone her and ask her yourself you know."
Arthur said the same thing every time. They always asked him how the other was, when they could just simply talk to each other. As far as Arthur knew they hadn't talked to each other since he left home, and there was no awkward changeover when his father used to pick him up to take him out. Over that time Arthur became very familiar with police stations and incident rooms. It was guaranteed that when he stayed with his father they'd end up there at some point.
Uther didn't comment on what Arthur said, he never did. Arthur opened the door to the resident's wing and held it open for Morgana to catch up to them.
"Thank you, Arthur," she said primly.
"Pleasure."
Arthur found Merlin in the day room. Lancelot had brought him down and sat him in a chair by the window. Vivian and Elena were in the room playing scrabble quietly at a table. They both smiled as Arthur came in, but turned away, when they saw Uther and Morgana with him. Arthur perched on the window sill by Merlin's chair and gently touched his shoulder.
"Merlin, the police are here, they've come to see you."
Uther brought a nearby chair closer and sat in it, reaching out to take Merlin's arm.
"Hello, Merlin. You're looking better now," Uther commented.
Merlin stared out at the view. Uther looked up at Arthur who shrugged.
"I'm convinced he is paying attention to what's happening around him."
"He just doesn't respond," Morgana said.
"Basically."
"Have you got him on any medication?" Uther asked.
"Not so far, the hospital did try the usual drugs for catatonia, but it's difficult since he had such a bad reaction to the needle that time."
"That's the only time he's ever shown any reaction?" Uther asked.
"Yes, but it backs up the theory that he's simply withdrawn, and doesn't want to interact. It could have just been a reflex reaction."
"The guy did say he liked them screaming," Morgana said, her tone low. Arthur was looking at Merlin as she spoke and he saw Merlin's throat move as he swallowed. Arthur reached out to grip Merlin's other arm.
"It's all right, Merlin," Arthur assured him. Then he glanced up at Morgana. "So it could have just been a memory reaction, connecting the needle with the trauma and that was his reaction. It could also be why he's retreated."
"To prevent himself from giving the reaction," Morgana said, staring at Merlin's with an intense gaze.
"And now he just can't get out," Arthur mused. He wondered if that was true, or if Merlin was simply of the opinion he was better off where he was. Merlin had spent five months being raped, brutalized, tortured and humiliated. It was not surprising he was avoiding the real world.
"If anyone can help him, Arthur, it's you, that's why I suggested he come here," Uther said. Arthur raised his eyebrows.
"Your confidence in me is overwhelming."
Uther looked at him levelly. "Maybe so, but it's not misplaced."
XxxxxxxxxxxxxX
Arthur sat on a bench in the grounds, enjoying the autumn sunshine and fresh air. There was his lunchbox on the bench next to him with his lunch, and also a plate containing Merlin's. Gwen had cut the sandwich up into pieces so Arthur could feed Merlin his lunch while he ate his own. As with everything he was given Merlin opened his mouth compliantly, chewing each mouthful in his methodical manner. They were both drinking pineapple juice. Merlin, naturally, through a straw.
That afternoon Arthur was scheduled to give a lecture at the nearby university, which meant he would be away for the rest of the day, and he didn't want to lose his time with Merlin. It probably wouldn't have made much of a difference but he was trying to keep to the schedule of seeing Merlin for an hour a day, and he had managed it for the last two weeks.
It had been, so far, a fruitless attempt. Merlin had failed to respond to anything. He just spent his days sat staring out of the window, moving when he was encouraged to do so but there had been nothing voluntary. Even Arthur wasn't sure what he could do for Merlin, except just keep at him, trying to encourage the pale, fragile man to react to him. He gave Merlin a bit more of his sandwich and went back to sketching.
He wanted to be relaxed before he started his lecture, and drawing was the best way to soothe himself. Arthur didn't think he was the best artist in the world, but he wasn't bad. He was attempting to draw a bumble bee on a flower. It was bobbing around on the nearby flower bed, and Arthur sketched the insect, concentrating on what he was doing as he tried to capture the form, and also flesh out the picture with the plant and some background. He became so absorbed in his task that he forgot Merlin for a moment, until the bee drifted off the flower. It hovered around in the air for a moment and Arthur frantically tried to get a good outline, before the bee headed off, flying past Merlin. Arthur glanced at Merlin, his eyes draw downwards as his eyes followed the path of the bee, and Arthur blinked in shock.
"Bloody hell," he murmured.
For a moment he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing as he stared at Merlin's lap and his right hand moving on his leg. Arthur glanced at his sketch pad and then back to Merlin's hand. He hardly dared move, he didn't even want to breathe and risk disturbing Merlin, who was performing his first voluntary movement, looking like he was drawing. Arthur glanced at his pad again and carefully lifted the sheet of paper he had been sketching on and flipped it over to expose a fresh sheet.
He kept his movements as slow and smooth as possible, again to avoid shocking Merlin back into stillness. Reaching over he carefully slid the pad onto Merlin's leg, easing it under his hand. At the touch Merlin's movement slowed.
"It's all right Merlin, do you want to try?"
Arthur carefully pressed the pencil into Merlin's hand. At the contact Merlin stopped. Arthur drew back and waited, the pencil quivering in Merlin's trembling hand.
"Come on Merlin," Arthur murmured. He could feel his heart pounding, and sweat prickled under his arms and down his back in anticipation of perhaps getting something, just anything, out of Merlin. Taking a further risk Arthur reached forward again and gently moved Merlin's hand, causing a line on the paper. Arthur exhaled lightly, giving a little gasp as Merlin's hand started to move. Arthur stopped breathing for a moment as he watched, praying that no one suddenly came out and disturbed them.
Arthur's eyes stayed fixed on the sheet of paper as Merlin's hand moved, forming lines on the bright white sheet. The sun was reflecting off it, making it seem even brighter. Arthur's eyes were starting to hurt as he stared. To give himself a rest he looked up at Merlin, who was still staring off into the distance. He wasn't staring at the paper as he worked, his hand appeared to be moving independently to the rest of him.
The tension seemed to be building in the air, but Arthur guessed that was all him. His eyes drifted towards the building, but there was no visible movement, no one was coming to bother them. Glancing down again Arthur tried to work out exactly what Merlin was drawing. The lines were rough, a little uncoordinated, but they appeared to be forming into something. Arthur couldn't quite get what it was, but he forced himself to wait while Merlin's hand worked.
His movement was gaining speed, as if Merlin's confidence in what he was doing was growing, and whatever was on his mind was forming into greater reality. Arthur bit down on his lower lip, chewing hard, he turned a fraction to stare at Merlin. Merlin wasn't even blinking now, his eyes looked fixed on the trees that flanked the driveway of the house. Arthur could hear the sound of traffic moving slowly along the road, and in the distance was the vague sound of an ambulance siren.
Five minutes or so passed, it seemed longer to Arthur as he watched and waited. He had to calm his feelings over and over again. This could be nothing more than a reflex reaction to what he was doing, Merlin was just following him, but again, it would be the first time he had done such a thing. Either way, he told himself, it was a response, giving him an indication that Merlin was aware of him, he was listening, but something in him just couldn't answer Arthur in a normal way.
Merlin's hand started to slow down, losing momentum until it eventually stopped. He was obviously done, his hand resting on the paper, the pencil tilting over as Merlin's grip on it relaxed. Arthur reached out and removed the pencil from the now inert man's grasp and gently lifted his hand so he could remove the sketch pad from Merlin's lap.
"It's okay Merlin, that's good," Arthur said gently. Merlin gazed unseeingly, almost as if he was unaware of even doing anything. Arthur looked at the sketch and frowned, wondering what on Earth he was looking at.
There was no doubt it was a picture. It had been made into a clear form and shape, the object squat, curving outwards towards its base, supported on three stubby, curling legs. Sprouting up from the shape was a chimney of sorts. There was some kind of grill on the front. Arthur eyed the picture, holding the pad up to assess what Merlin had drawn.
"Looks a bit like some sort of boiler," he said, both to himself and to Merlin. "Old fashioned looking though."
He turned to look at Merlin, wondering what it was actually meant to mean. Merlin blinked once, his chest was rising and falling his breathing a little heavier than usual, as if drawing the picture had been an exertion.
"I don't quite understand what you are trying to tell me," Arthur said gently. He looked back at the drawing, the dark shading that Merlin had done.
"I guess it's an old iron thing, like something you'd find in an old fashioned farmhouse kitchen."
Arthur closed his eyes and slowly opened them again, his heart clenching as he surmised that he had bashed the nail directly on the head. He looked at Merlin again. He had been found in an old farmhouse. There was no other connection he could think of. He stared at Merlin, and took a deep steadying breath.
"Merlin, is this from where they found you?"
Naturally, there was no answer. Merlin just stared off into space, not looking at anything around him. Arthur looked down at the picture again, the drawing that Merlin had made. He took the pencil and jotted down the date and time underneath the drawing, along with the vague notes of what the drawing might signify.
Arthur looked up again. Merlin sat as he was, as he always did, still and silent. Arthur studied his patient carefully, and took in the perhaps not so vacant gaze.
"Merlin, is this what you can see?"
Merlin's breath seemed to hitch, just a fraction, and Arthur could perhaps dismiss it as the sun being a little to strong, but he was quite convinced there were tears glimmering in Merlin's eyes.