Chapter 16

Unwanted

I'm back! I returned safe and sound from Europe although I could have probably stayed there forever. But I'm here now and I'm ready to punch out some chapters for you lovely people. But I honestly couldn't have been happier when I got home and saw all the wonderful feedback you'd all left me. So thank you everyone for the reviews, the favourites, and just for being here and being amazing people. I love all of you.

Now I know I said I'd post this chapter on the weekend, but my beta was really busy and couldn't get it to me. She says that she is really really sorry and the next one won't take as long. But she got it to me now and so here it is. I hope you all enjoy!

Songs:

She is Love-Parachute (Imagine 'She' as 'He'-Magnus to Alec)

Dying to Live Again-Hedley

Good to You-Marianas Trench (Magnus to Alec, Alec to Magnus)

Alec thought back to what Magnus had told him. He had been thinking about what had happened and what Magnus had said for days. He couldn't shake the memory and he couldn't shake the way Magnus' story had made him feel. No one should have to go through what Magnus endured, no one. It wasn't fair to put a child through that pain and that suffering. It wasn't fair to put a person through those memories and the battle that he was fighting. Alec had never been so angry at the world. He wanted to kill Magnus' father for laying a hand on him, for causing him the pain that he did. He wanted to wash it all away from Magnus and help him forget.

Alec had known Magnus was broken inside; it was always something Alec had just had a feeling about. He could see it in Magnus' eyes. His eyes told Alec his story every day even before Alec knew what the story was. He saw the pain and the shards of his broken soul floating in his green irises. He saw it all and he wanted to comfort Magnus but he never knew how, or how to breach the subject for that matter. He had waited for Magnus to tell him and now that he knew, he himself felt broken. He felt so much pain in knowing what had happened to Magnus. He wanted nothing more than to take it all away.

Magnus didn't want someone to carry the pain with him but Alec was going to. If he couldn't take it away, he would at least help Magnus bear the pain and make it through. He would try and help Magnus. But if he didn't help at least he tried, either way he wanted Magnus whether he was broken or not. He wanted every single piece of him and he wanted Magnus to remember that. He may be broken but that didn't change anything.

Alec couldn't imagine enduring what Magnus had. He couldn't even imagine the pain and the heartache that he faced every single day. He looked back on his life and his own fears and he thought of how trivial and pathetic it all was. His only fear was telling the world he was gay, but Magnus, he faced the fear of abuse and pain every day. He faced the fear of being alone, of loving again. Magnus had the right to be afraid of so much, of the same thing Alec was with coming out, but he wasn't. Alec was afraid of the abuse and the prejudice he would face when he came out and yet Magnus had already faced it and was out and proud of it. Alec didn't know how he did it and it instilled a new strength inside of him. If Magnus had done it, he could do it. Magnus' story inspired Alec to not be afraid and to face the world the same way Magnus had. Alec realized that with Magnus he had something he never wanted to lose, and he knew that he needed to come out to prevent that from happening.

Alec knew Magnus was scared of telling him his past because he was afraid of judgment and pity, but he neither pitied nor judged Magnus. He respected him and cared for him even more for facing what he did and living through it to be the amazing man that Alec saw in front of him now. Alec knew he would have broken under what Magnus faced, he would have broken and let it overtake him. He would have run from everything. He wouldn't have been strong like Magnus. Magnus may have thought he was a coward but Alec saw no cowardice in what he had done. He saw a man who defied what should have become of him, a man who had made something beautiful of himself and of his life. He saw a man who was anything but his past.

And Alec was going to help him. For once, someone was going to stand with Magnus and not over him. For once, someone was going to hold Magnus and not hit him. For once, someone was going to care for and want Magnus, not hate him. For once, someone was going to put the broken pieces together, instead of make more.

Magnus sat on one of the many campus benches, alone with nothing but his thoughts and the sketchpad in his hand. He was drawing his mother. It had been a while since he had drawn her since it brought back so many memories but, following his revelation to Alec, he had found the urge to draw her again. He was scared of forgetting her and so, every now and then, he would bring up the memories and draw her face so he could look at her again.

It was because of her that he drew. She had given him a sketchpad when he was six and had just said draw. He knew now that she had done it so that he could express how he was feeling and could use it as a reprieve from the world around him. He knew that in those last few years that was what art had become for his mother. It was her reprieve from the pain. And now it was his. He had been critiqued by his teachers for being too dark and had been encouraged to draw more bright and happy pieces, but when he tried, they just seemed so fake.

As he shaded the contours of his mother's face, he thought about what she would say and what she would think of him if she were here now. Would she be proud of him? She had always told him to chase after his dreams and so he had, but deep down he had always done things he thought would make his mother happy. He lived his life by the lessons she had taught him and he had tried to live for the both of them. He knew he had done a terrible job of that and his mother probably wouldn't be proud of some of the choices he had made.

Remember baby, never do something if it doesn't make you happy.

Art made him happy. Alec made him happy.

Never close your heart. It's the most beautiful thing you have.

He had closed his heart from the night he lost her to the day he met Alec. He had failed her on that. He had failed her on a lot of things. Looking back at his life he thought of all the things he could have done better. He had wasted so much of his life and now he was so lost in his past that he didn't even know where he was. Would she be proud of him? Would she smile at him and be happy for what he had done? He could only pray that she would have been. He could only hope that his future choices would still make her proud.

He knew she would have approved of Alec. They were so much alike that Magnus could almost see her in him. They both had a kind and gentle soul that Magnus had never seen before. They both looked at the world like everything was beautiful, even when they knew something was supposed to be ugly. And they both made him feel like he wasn't the worthless person he believed he was. They both made him feel special and wanted.

Telling Alec his story about his father, his mother, and the years after that had been an undertaking, but an amazing, surprising undertaking. Alec had reacted completely different than he thought he would and Alec's words resonated with him with each passing second. He still didn't want to believe that someone could care for him like that and want to help him. It was unbelievable, and so was what he felt for Alec. Alec had shed a tear for him, had promised never to hurt him. Only his mother had ever done that for him. No one had ever cried for him and he had never expected anyone to. But when Alec did he was warmed right to the centre of his soul. He knew now that he had the most amazing, perfect person in his life. He felt like he didn't deserve such a person, but he knew Alec would kill him for thinking such thoughts. But it was hard when you'd been dejected all your life, acceptance was hard to take.

"Hey stranger. Didn't expect to see you here."

Magnus' head snapped up from his drawing to see William standing before him. Magnus closed his book, not wanting William to see what he had drawn. William knew his story, but not the way that Alec now did, and he didn't want to open that conversation up again.

"Hey." Magnus hadn't called William in the last few days since Alec had gotten back home. He hadn't found the time nor had he really wanted to. He had seen William in class, but that was it. His relationship with William was tricky. They had grown to be really good friends very fast when they'd met in high school. They had connected over their sexuality. Magnus had known who he was for a few years before meeting William, but at that time, William was just coming to terms with being gay. Magnus didn't call himself an expert on the subject but together they were able to work through their fears and questions together. Before long, they had started dating. William was the first person Magnus had really felt for in years. But he didn't love him. William had said he loved him but he realized quickly that he didn't love him back, he couldn't love him. That was what had broken them apart. They left on good terms and remained friends through it all. He and William kept in touch but there was a divide between them and Magnus had never forgotten what they had. It was good, it was an experience, and Magnus had long lost any feeling he had had for William.

William knew Magnus and Alec had fought. Unfortunately, William was almost as good as Alec at knowing what was wrong with him. William had called him the day after and had sensed it in his voice. Magnus simply said they had a fight and left it at that. He hadn't gone into details and William hadn't asked for any.

"Can I join you?"

"Sure." Magnus put his sketchpad and pencil back in his bag as William took the spot next to him.

"So, may I ask why you haven't been returning my phone calls?"

"I've been busy, sorry." After Alec's jealous bout, Magnus had decided to distance himself from William. He knew Alec wouldn't react like that again, but he knew Alec was still going to get jealous if Magnus got too close with William. Also, he had realized that Alec hadn't been completely wrong. He saw it now too, the way William looked at him. It was the way William used to look at him and it spoke to Magnus exactly what Alec said it did. Love. Or something like it. Magnus knew he had to distance himself from William. William could prove to be a problem and he just couldn't have that. For once in his life, he was finally happy with someone and he had no plans to screw it up like he did everything else.

"Busy, huh? With Alec?" he asked innocently.

"With my life. Why do you need to know the details?"

"Because I'm your friend." William nudged him in the side playfully. "And I deserve to know each and every detail of your life. Now come on, spill. Clearly you two aren't mad at each other anymore. So what happened? Did he say he loved you?" he asked playfully.

The last question startled Magnus. He wasn't sure how to answer that.

"He did, didn't he? Well, I guess we can call that progress. Did you say it back?"

"No." Magnus didn't feel like explaining anything to William, and that question had come completely out of the blue. Magnus had thought about love when he thought about what he felt for Alec but he knew it wasn't love. Not yet; it was too soon. What he felt for Alec was real and amazing, but it wasn't love. It could be someday since Alec had already broken down his walls and now all he needed was the key. But at this moment, Magnus was scared of love and it would take him a while to say that he loved Alec.

"No? Come on, I knew you could be cold hearted but that's just cruel, leaving a boy hanging like that."

"Yeah, well it's what I do." The words came out in a rush before Magnus had time to think them through. He didn't meet William's gaze as the memories of the times they had together flashed through his mind. Magnus had left William hanging without even a branch to grab onto. Yeah, leaving people hanging was sort of his thing.

"Magnus..."

"You know, just forget I said anything." Magnus stood up abruptly, slinging his bag over his shoulders. He was nowhere near in the mood to talk to William about love or Alec. He was happy. For once in his life, he was happy and he didn't need to explain that to anyone. He turned to leave, running into William who had stood up in following.

There was sadness in William's eyes. "Magnus, what's wrong? You don't seem like yourself."

"Funny. And here I thought I was just as marvelous as always."

"You know what I mean so stop being a dick."

Yeah, he did. Magnus sighed. There was one question nagging at him. One question that he felt he needed an answer to or else he'd go crazy. Some of the things Alec had said had ignited something in Magnus. A realization. A realization that sparked a question that needed a desperate answer. Alec was right when they fought. Magnus saw now the way William looked at him, and how he was nicer and more touchy than normal. Magnus hadn't noticed them at the party but looking back, he noticed now all the small brushes of his hand, the smiles, the looks. It was always those damn eyes. His whole body could tell him he was fine, but those eyes told him everything he needed to know about how he was feeling. William hadn't moved on from what they had. Magnus found it hard to believe since they'd barely kept in touch-mainly on Magnus' part since he always left everyone in his life-and since he knew William had had a few relationships since. Three years was enough time to move on; Magnus had. But Alec had seen it, that William had not moved on. They had to clear this up. Magnus wasn't going to continue on knowing his ex still harboured feelings for him. He just couldn't.

"William, can I ask you a question?" Magnus met William's eyes, letting the deep blue envelop him.

"Yeah, sure." Confusion circled in his gaze.

"Do you promise to answer honestly?"

"Magnus, what is it?"

Magnus sighed before speaking. "Have you moved on?"

William's face shifted. It went from one of concern to one of questioning and confusion. "From what?"

"From us."

Understanding replaced the other emotions on William's face. His eyes wavered, looking first at the ground and then back at Magnus. William's face went cold, but Magnus saw it in those eyes. "I have."

"Don't lie to me William. I know you and I know you haven't moved on. Why? It's been three years. The last time we really talked was six months ago. I thought we'd left it behind us."

William took a deep breath and with it, his whole resolve faltered, showing on his face what Magnus saw in his eyes. "I thought so too. But I realized that I can't move on. I can't because I can't forget what I had with you Magnus." He moved closer to Magnus placing a hand on his bicep. "I said something to you, something I knew you wouldn't say back, but I said it anyway. And when we broke up, I lost the best thing I ever had. I won't lie to you Magnus. I haven't moved on because no matter how hard I try, I just can't forget. Now I'm not going to ask you to take me back, but just let me say it again, please." He paused, looking into Magnus' eyes, searing deep into his soul. "I love you Magnus. I loved you then and I have loved you since."

His words cut through Magnus. Three years ago, those words had ruined everything. Three years ago, those words had only proven to Magnus that he didn't have the ability to love, because as hard as he tried, he couldn't love William back. He couldn't say it back. He hadn't said 'I love you' in over 8 years, and he hadn't felt or known love for that same amount of time. Hearing William say it again, sparked nothing but old memories inside of Magnus. He didn't feel the same but instead, he suddenly just felt terrible. How could William still love him? Magnus wasn't worth that. No one should pine over him for three years, they should just move on. And William needed to know that. They were no more and there was no chance for anything, not when Magnus couldn't give William what he wanted.

"William, you don't mean that." Magnus pulled away from William's hand, leaving it to fall and hang at William's side.

"I do Magnus. I've had three years to think about it."

"Exactly; three years. We had good times and a great relationship when we were together, but we haven't had anything for three years. You're confused William, trying to make yourself believe something that isn't true. I know, I've done it. You don't love me."

"I do."

"No, you don't. You know that, underneath it all." Magnus paused. He wasn't an expert on love but his heart was cold enough to know when something was love, and what William felt was not love, it was infatuation.

William looked down at the ground, averting Magnus' gaze. "Do you love him? Alec?"

Magnus stiffened. That was not what he had been expecting to be asked. "I don't know."

William nodded. "He's lucky to have you, and I hope you two will be happy." He looked up at Magnus. "I'm sorry." He met Magnus' gaze for a short second before turning to leave.

Magnus let out a breath he had been holding in. He didn't stop William from walking away, it was best for both of them that he didn't.

Well, that was definitely different than I thought my day would go.

Hearing William say those words reminded Magnus of everything he had wanted in his life at that point but could never have. William reminded Magnus of a time when he was searching so hard for something to hold on to that he was nearly desperate. He had taken a while to open up to William when he first met him because he was so scared of being hurt again. He had been silenced his whole life that he didn't want to open his mouth out of fear. William came to him and made him open up and feel safe. With William, he felt wanted, like for once in eight years someone actually wanted him for something more than money. He hadn't loved William and he felt terrible that he had led William into loving him. At that thought, he thought of Alec. What if Alec said he loved him? What would he do? Would he run or would he say it back? Was he leading Alec into something he couldn't commit to? These questions had had easy answers with Camille since she was as unlikely to say I love you as he was, but Alec, he was different. He was so very different. With Alec, Magnus actually cared, he actually wanted Alec to stay in his life and remain a part of him. But he didn't want to lead Alec on. His walls were breaking and deep down, he felt like one day he'd be able to love someone again, and maybe, just maybe, that person could be Alec.

With Alec, all his fears went out the window. He couldn't protect his heart. As much as he tried, nothing he did protected it. Alec broke down his walls and was finding the way into his heart. He erased all Magnus' fears and replaced them with a want and a need that was so beautiful. It wasn't a desperate want to be loved, it was a want to love again. He wanted to love Alec. He didn't know if he could, but in that moment, he realized that it was a beautiful possibility. No one had ever made him feel the way Alec did. No one had ever made him feel so happy and so wanted as Alec did. Magnus had run away from love as he had run away from everything else in his life. But now, he realized he was tired of running. He wasn't going anywhere, not so long as Alec would have him.

Magnus slid his key into the lock, turning it and opening the door as the lock clicked. He slid the key out, pocketing it as he entered the room. The first thing he saw was Alec, passed out sitting up on the couch. The largest textbook in history lay open on his chest, rising with the up and down of Alec's breathing. And that was why he didn't take English; the books were just too damn big.

Magnus smiled to himself as he dropped his bag silently on the floor. Alec looked so perfect lying there, serene and peaceful. Looking at him lying there he thought of how much he realized he felt for Alec. His heart swelled with the thought of holding him and calling him his, of looking into those eyes and kissing those lips. Alec was his and Magnus didn't want to see him go anywhere. Alec had taught him how to feel again and Magnus had thought that was impossible. Alec had accepted his past and accepted that he was broken and scarred from what had happened to him. Alec accepted every part of him and Magnus hadn't felt that for years. For once he wasn't afraid of anything.

Magnus crossed the room to Alec. He picked up the book lightly, closing it as he set it down on the table. He moved to grab the blanket off the back of the couch, and slowly he placed it over Alec's sleeping form. He laid a soft kiss on Alec's forehead, lingering slightly longer than he should have as he took in Alec's scent and the feel of his lips against Alec's skin. No one had ever made him feel this way and he was embracing it with open arms. This must be what it feels like to be alive.

Magnus pulled away and went to go to his desk when Alec grabbed his hand to stop him. Magnus turned around to see Alec, groggy but awake.

Magnus grinned as he met those beautiful blue orbs that he was so completely in love with. He knew that. The things those eyes did to him were unlike anything he'd experienced before. It was like he was seeing the whole world anew in Alec's eyes and it was unbelievably amazing.

"How long have I been asleep?" Alec asked.

"Don't know. I just got back. It's 6 now."

Alec nodded, yawning. "It's your fault."

"My fault? How the hell is your taking a nap, like any other reasonable person, my fault?" Magnus asked.

"It's your fault because if it weren't for you I'd go to sleep at a reasonable hour of the night."

"True. I'm guilty as charged. Do you want me to grab the handcuffs?" Magnus put his hands above his head as if they were cuffed as he did a small pelvic thrust in Alec's direction.

"Magnus!"

Magnus laughed as the beautiful pink flush rose in Alec's cheeks. "Alright, I'll hold off on the kinky stuff." At the mention of kinky Alec's face got redder. Magnus always wondered how it was possible but somehow Alec's face had colours of red Magnus had never seen before. "For now." Magnus leaned down to kiss Alec. When he went to pull away Alec's arm slipped around his waist, pulling him down onto the couch above him. Magnus laughed. "Kinky no, horny yes."

"I'm not…"

Magnus cut him off as he took his lips with his. He'd wanted to kiss Alec all day. It was hard on days like this when Alec had class and he didn't, or he had class and Alec didn't. But when he got back to the dorm, he had the beautiful figure of Alec to look forward to, so it wasn't so bad waiting a whole day. Magnus pressed a hand against Alec's side, pushing harder into the kiss.

Ever since his experience with William not too long ago he'd been wanting Alec. He just wanted to kiss him, to hold him and reassure himself that it wasn't some dream and he wasn't believing in some fantasy. He wanted to be with the man that he wanted. He wanted to forget William and those memories and those fears that he had had. He wanted to remember the happiness that he had right now, right here with Alec.

Since telling Alec his past, something had changed between them. There was a new connection that Magnus felt, something in his heart that was beating differently than the rest of his body. It was like a constant reminder of Alec, of what they shared together and what Magnus had given him.

Alec had chosen to stand by him, to be with him through it all. No one had done that before. It was hard for Magnus to think of someone standing with him, but he wanted to think it was a good thing. He wanted to think that letting all his walls down was for the better. If he got hurt, at least he would know that he got hurt in a truthful way. He didn't hide himself or hold back but he gave everything he had. It would kill him to be hurt again, but if it meant having Alec for some amount time, then it would be worth getting hurt for.

Alec pulled away slowly but he didn't speak as Magnus expected him to. Instead, he just searched his eyes and Magnus knew that he was thinking about something important. There was the distant yet alert look to Alec's eyes that he always got when he was thinking about them.

Alec took a deep breath. "Magnus?"

"Yes, love?" He asked. Magnus wasn't sure if he should be worried or not.

"Will you come home with me for Christmas?" He asked. "Unless you have other plans, then you don't have to," he added quickly.

Those words hit Magnus hard. This had turned into a day of hearing things he hadn't expected to hear. It was mid-November and Alec was already asking him to come home with him for Christmas. But as what? Did Alec just want him to meet his family and see what happened, or was Alec planning to tell them? Magnus' heart yearned for the latter but if it was the former, he'd do what he had to do.

"No plans. So I'd love to." He'd more than love to.

Alec smiled, biting his lip. "I…I want to tell them. But, I realized I need you there with me." Alec spoke slowly, the words forcing themselves slowly off of his tongue.

"As you wish Alec." Magnus smiled. Alec was going to tell them. It was almost too good to be true. He hadn't expected Alec to be ready this fast. He had expected to wait a little bit longer but apparently, something had changed inside of Alec to make him want to do it now.

"I don't want to hide anymore Magnus, at least not from them." So he wasn't ready to tell everybody, but the family was a start. And in all honesty, it was always harder to tell the family then to tell the world. It was the people you cared the most about that you were scared of losing because of your sexuality. It was their dejection that would hurt the most, Magnus knew that. Alec took Magnus' hand in his and the connection sent a wave of euphoria through Magnus. "I'm so happy with you, and…and I don't want to run anymore. I want them to know. I want them to know that I'm with you." Alec continued to bite his lip and there was a sadness and yet, an anticipation in his eyes. Alec was ready to tell them but still scared of what they'd think.

"You don't have to do this if you're not ready. I'll wait Alec." He wanted it so badly but he didn't want to force Alec into anything he didn't want to do. And he didn't want to get his hopes up and then have them dashed.

"You've waited long enough. I'm ready. I can do it." His eyes didn't falter. He was determined.

"If you're sure." Magnus squeezed his hand harder, his heart growing warmer. Alec was so amazing and he would never realize it. Alec didn't think much of himself but Magnus thought the world of him. For him to do this was a big step, and it took strength and a lot of courage. Magnus admired Alec for it. Alec was finally ready to take another step. "I'll be with you every step of the way Alec."

Alec smiled. "I know." He took a deep breath. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. You're doing this all on your own."

"No, I'm not. I would never have thought of doing this in my wildest dreams if it weren't for you. You've given me strength and you've opened my eyes to the reality of everything. I've been living a lie and I don't want to do that anymore. It's because of you that I've come to really accept who I am and what I want. I want you Magnus and I want to be with you. I want to be with you out there in front of the whole entire world. I'm not there yet, but I hope I will be someday. But because of you I'm not so scared anymore."

"Well, I'm glad to be of assistance," Magnus said softly. Magnus repeated Alec's words in his head. 'I want to be with you out there in front of the whole entire world. I'm not there yet, but I hope I will be someday.' Someday Alec, someday you will be there. To hear him say that, that he was not so scared anymore, lightened Magnus' heart and brought a joy to him. Alec could do it, Magnus had faith in him, and the thought of the future was as beautiful as ever.

Alec let his lip go and Magnus' eyes darted to the two small indentations in his skin. He leaned forward, taking Alec's lips with his, sucking softly on the bottom one as he brought it between his teeth.

"Thank you," Alec mumbled against his lips.

Magnus smiled. "No problem love." For the amount of times Magnus had thanked Alec, he had no problem doing something for him. Alec had held him after one of his nightmares when they barely knew each other. He had made him laugh, truly laugh, for the first time in years. He had accepted his past and held him through the pain. He had been there, and most of al,l he had accepted him. Every single part of him. Magnus had so much to thank him for that Alec would never know the true weight of everything he'd done for him. Alec made him feel alive again. He had given Magnus everything he'd dreamed about but never asked for. He'd given him everything Magnus didn't think he deserved.

He'd given him his life back and even thank you wasn't enough for that.

Alec stared out the window as the tiny snowflakes fell from the sky. They floated slowly downwards, coating the green ground in a small blanket of white. Alec loved winter. It just always made him feel so peaceful and happy. He also loved just sitting there watching the snow fall. It was a time where he could just forget everything and be captivated by something beautiful and perfect. For just a few minutes the world didn't matter and those moments in Alec's life he embraced with open arms.

Alec's focus wavered when he felt a warm pair of arms wrap around his waist. Now that was a feeling and a moment that Alec embraced and loved. Magnus' body against his was comforting and in those strong, warm arms, Alec forgot all his worries and found everything he had ever wanted.

"So, is there anything I should know about your family? You know, stuff to avoid doing or things I should do to get on your parents good graces." Magnus' voice was a whisper against his ear, his breath soothing the skin of Alec's neck.

"Just be yourself. I want them to know you, not someone you're trying to be." Not someone you're trying to be. Yeah Alec, take your own advice. "Besides Isabelle already likes you, which is an achievement in itself. Max likes anyone who will read a comic book with him and Jace, well, you'll probably have to compete for space in the room to hold your egos."

"Compete?" Magnus scoffed. "Baby, I won that competition the day I was born." He paused, pulling Alec closer. "It's not your siblings I'm worried about. It's your parents."

Alec stiffened. If Magnus was simply worried then Alec was a nervous, panicked wreck. Inviting Magnus for Christmas entailed telling his parents he was gay. He hadn't slept for days knowing that this was coming. He kept playing different scenarios in his head of how he would tell them. He had the fantasy ones where he said it and then they hugged him and said they loved him and accepted him no matter what he chose to do. Then he had the bad ones, the ones he hated to think about but popped up anyway. They were the ones where his parents disowned him, or worse, his father tried to beat it out of him. He didn't see his father as doing it; Robert had never raised his voice at any of his children, let alone a hand. But that was Alec's fear. That had been Alec's fear for years and it would continue to be his fear until he finally said it and just let the event play out. The only good thing he knew that came out of any situation was that at the other end of it, he had Magnus waiting for him. Magnus would be behind him through it all, waiting and ready to catch him if he fell.

"I'll admit it Alec, I'm different than everyone else. I pride myself on it but not everyone takes too kindly to how I am. I know how I can come off to some people so I just want to know if toning it down will be easier for you with your parents."

Magnus' words cut through Alec. Magnus was offering to become something he wasn't to make Alec's time with his parents easier. Alec couldn't believe he was offering that. Why would he want to be anything besides what he wasn't? And for him?

Alec turned around in Magnus' arms to meet his gaze. There was such meaning and love in Magnus' eyes that Alec almost got lost in them as he normally did. Alec placed his hands on Magnus' chest, letting the electricity of the contact flow through him. "Magnus, I would never ask you to be anything other than what you are. I'm with you. You. Not a toned down version. I have to tell them either way and I'd rather they know the real you then somebody else."

Magnus smiled, a warmth creeping through his features. It was then that Alec finally let himself get lost, yet again, in the golden green depths of Magnus' eyes. They told him so much that Magnus' face and body didn't. He loved that a small change in Magnus' eyes could speak a million words to him. He could just tell how Magnus was feeling or what he was thinking by the way his eyes glittered or the way they moved. Right now, they spoke to Alec appreciation and something so warm and empathetic that it could almost be considered love, and those two things spoke volumes in themselves.

"Do you have any idea of how amazing you are?" Magnus asked.

"Honestly, no. But someone keeps telling me and I try to believe him, but I can't." Alec didn't see anything amazing about himself. His whole life he'd been nothing but average and if Jace was there, he would have had a lot to say about how not amazing Alec was.

"One day, my love." Magnus placed a soft kiss to Alec's forehead. "One day you'll see how amazing you are and you'll believe me." He lifted Alec's chin to place a soft kiss to his lips.

One day.

One day you'll tell your parents you're gay.

One day you'll love Magnus in front of the whole world.

One day you won't be afraid.

One day you'll realize how amazing you are. How amazing it feels to not hide who you are.

"Now come on Alec, we've got a train to catch and you have a tendency of making me late for things." Magnus pulled away from Alec, looking down to meet his gaze.

"Me? I've almost been late for class like 30 times times."

"Sweetheart, didn't your mother ever teach you not to exaggerate?"

Alec rolled his eyes and sighed at Magnus' comment. "Yes, she did, and I am not. Now come on, before we're late." Alec placed one quick kiss on Magnus' lips before brushing past him to grab his bag.

Two weeks. That was what he would have to tell his parents. Two weeks with Magnus and his family.

Two weeks to finally tell them he was gay.

Okay, so I hoped you liked it. Although it was sort of filler I really enjoyed writing it. But now I have a question for you guys. Christmas is coming up for Magnus and Alec and I'll admit it, I am terrible at thinking of Christmas gifts for people and that sort of shows in my inability to think of something for them. I've got some ideas for Christmas gifts for the boys but instead of giving myself a major headache trying to think of something, I want your guys' feedback on what you think they should give each other. I need help and gift inspiration so if you have any ideas, that would be wonderfully appreciated. Anyway, I'm going to go to work on the next chapter now so I can get it out soon. Anyway, I love you guys and thank you so much for reading. Until next time!

Be the change,
Amber