Chapter 19

Unplanned

Hey guys, I'm back! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews in the last chapter. I had a long week this week and your reviews made me so extremely happy. You are all so amazing and please know that I couldn't do this without all of you. I also couldn't do it without my beta who got this back to me really quickly after I sent it to her. She's amazing and also considering writing something, which I'm really excited about.

Now, this is the chapter you've all been waiting for. It was a bitch to write. I just couldn't make it feel right and it went through probably five drafts, which is why this chapter took longer than I had expected. So this is what finally came of Alec coming out to his parents. I really hope it's okay.

So here it goes...Enjoy!

Songs:

Part of Me-Nizlopi (Please listen to this song. It is really amazing and the message behind it is beautiful. Honestly one of my favourite songs of all time and I think everyone in the world should listen to it at least once in their lifetime just to get the main part of the song.)

Down-Jason Walker (Alec)

When My Heart is Gone-Morgan Karr (Absolutely love this man. He's from Broadway and is working on putting out music now. This is from his EP he's releasing soon. You can find him on Youtube.) (Alec)

"Gorgeous darling. Gorgeous." Magnus lounged happily on Isabelle's silk pink and black coverlet, watching as Isabelle paraded a line of new outfits for him. She had asked for his opinion earlier that day on what she should wear out that night on a date. Well, in Isabelle's words, it was 'a dinner with Simon, nothing more', but by the extra attention Isabelle was paying to how she looked by asking Magnus to help her, Magnus was damn sure it was more than just a dinner with a friend. A friendly date was more like it. Looking at Isabelle and judging by what Magnus already knew of her, he would never have taken Simon as Isabelle's type, but hey, you love who you love.

"You think?"

"You'll knock his little band geek socks off. Or he'll drop dead from a heart attack. Depends. I'm not sure how many hot women his virgin eyes have seen."

Isabelle laughed, throwing her head back to let her black hair cascade over her shoulders. "You think I'm hot?"

"Don't tell Alec, but, yeah, you're hot." Magnus smirked letting Isabelle's laughter fill his ears. He found it so easy to talk to Isabelle. They spoke the same language, and it was a change from the other girls Magnus had ever spoken with, those he dated or hooked up with. But Isabelle was a friend, a friend that knew exactly how to pair colours and speak clothes without wanting to take the aforementioned materials off of him. It was a relief and it was nice that she was Alec's sister. Magnus had never really gotten along with his prior partners' families and so it was a pleasurable change to finally get along with someone.

"Well who would have ever thought. My brother's boyfriend thinks I'm hot. I never thought I'd hear that from a gay man," Isabelle grinned as she joked.

"Technically I'm bisexual sweetie but that's just details." Magnus waved his hand dramatically to discard the comment. "And I am allowed to compliment a woman when she looks nice, it's only common courtesy."

"Well thank you."

"That's what I'm here for darling. It's nice to know at least one Lightwood in this family has some fashion sense."

Isabelle laughed. "Alec still won't let you revamp his wardrobe?"

"Won't even consider it. I tried to take him shopping and he made up some excuse about a project on Hamlet. A project he had done two weeks earlier. The boy's helpless. I mean, I just want to try one other colour. You know like blue? It can still be dark if it makes him happy. And it can be even be one of those awful sweaters."

"Damn those sweaters," Isabelle joked.

"You're telling me."

Isabelle laughed. "I'll be right back." She turned to return back to her bathroom, her hair whipping behind her, the dark tips disappearing last as she closed the door.

She came back out shortly after, dressed in tight fitting jeans and a white tank top, the black dress they had decided on draped over her arm. She walked over to her closet, sliding it onto a hanger, before placing it in its spot. She turned back to Magnus, the smile that was previously on her face now replaced with a soft serious line. She looked like she was thinking about something.

"Magnus, can I ask you something?"

Magnus looked at her questioningly. The sudden change in her behaviour was unexpected and caught him off guard.

"Yeah, sure." Magnus propped himself up on his elbow, looking at Isabelle from underneath glittered eyelashes.

"Well, I don't mean to prod where I don't belong but it's been killing me and I know Alec won't tell me."

"Isabelle, what is it?

Isabelle crossed to the bed, sitting down across from Magnus, crossing her legs underneath her. "Well, I just… Do you know when he's planning on telling Mom and Dad?"

Magnus sighed. He should have expected that one. "When he's ready. It takes time. It's easier to tell you and Jace then it is your parents."

"Wait, he told Jace?"

"Yeah, he told him this morning. You didn't know?"

"No." Isabelle let out an exasperated breath. "Why am I always the last person to know anything in this house? What happened? What did he say? Is Jace okay with it? Is Alec okay?" The questions came out like rapid fire, slipping through Isabelle's lips at a speed Magnus would have thought impossible if it wasn't Isabelle.

"Woah Isabelle, slow down. Alec told him he was gay and Jace said he knew. He had listened in on your conversation last time he came down. Jace was okay with it and Alec's okay too. He's feeling a lot better about things. It's easier for him to know you two accept him." Magnus paused. "I don't think I've told you this, but thank you."

"For what?"

"For accepting him being gay. You have no idea how good it feels for people like us to be accepted by the ones we love. Alec's really scared about coming out and I'm sure you know that already. So thank you for making it easier for him."

"Hey, I'm his sister. I have an obligation to love him for every part of him, even if it's the fashion senseless, clueless parts of him." Isabelle smiled. "But I'm glad he told Jace. It's a lot better for Alec that Jace knows. I can only imagine how hard it had to have been for him." Isabelle met Magnus' eyes. "Magnus, do you know about Alec and Jace?"

"Alec told me this morning."

"And you're okay with it?"

"Yeah, I'm okay with it." Honestly, he was slightly jealous. And why shouldn't he be? Jace was the first person Alec had ever loved and although Magnus knew Alec no longer harboured feelings for him, he knew that Alec could never forget what he felt for Jace and that that would stay with him forever. Magnus just prayed that Alec was telling the truth when he said the feelings were really gone, as in he wasn't feeling like he was in love with Jace anymore. Magnus understood why Alec would have fooled himself into believing he was in love with Jace, it was easy when you were young and discovering who you were. "And I trust Alec when he says he's over Jace."

"You know, you're amazing you know that?"

"Yes I do."

Isabelle laughed. "No modesty there. But really, why can't every straight guy on earth even be half like you? I only wish I could have part of what you and Alec have together. It's so amazing that you're waiting for him Magnus. And thank you for that. You were exactly what my brother needed. I've never seen him so happy, so alive. For once he's not moody and PMS-ing, and I had resigned myself years ago to the fact that that would never change. But you've changed him Magnus and you've given him so much more than he ever had." Isabelle paused, smiling. "So don't mess it up."

"Is that a threat to not hurt your brother or…"

"It's friendly advice. I already got my threats out of my way as I'm sure Jace has also done."

"Oh yeah, he did. I think I've been assigned a slow and painful death. And for the record, your threats were far more creative."

"Are you saying that because it's true or because you wanted to take a hit on Jace's ego?"

"Both."

Isabelle grinned, clearly enjoying the thought of deflating Jace's ego. "Magnus, can I ask you something else?"

"Shoot."

"What do you use on your skin? It's perfect."

Magnus smiled, laughing. "Jace's ego down 1, mine, up 2." Magnus took Isabelle's hand. "Come on, I've got exactly what you want." He pulled Isabelle up off the bed and together they walked happily to Magnus' room.

So far Magnus considered this a good day in his book. Alec had told Jace he was gay. Magnus had bonded with Isabelle while Jace and Alec bonded over something with the abbreviation COD-whatever that was-and now all that was left was dinner, when Alec told his parents. And if all went well, then it was very good day. Magnus had no doubts that it wouldn't go well. He had faith in Alec and he had belief that Alec's parents would accept their son for who he was. Magnus could only hope that they would because he wouldn't be able to stand Alec's heart getting broken. He knew what it felt like to be rejected and he never wanted to see the same look in Alec's eyes as he saw in his own each time he looked in the mirror.

Alec, Magnus, Jace, Isabelle, Maryse, and Robert all sat in the living room, creating small talk. The atmosphere was friendly, calm, as it always was when their family just sat down to talk. Alec's parents had made a thing of it that they sat down as a family to talk at least once a week. Sometimes they didn't really talk but sat and read a material of their choice, which, in Jace's case, was always the back of his eyelids. Nonetheless, it was family bonding time. A family bonding time that Max always expertly skipped out on. Alec was actually glad Max wasn't there. Max was young and Alec didn't think he'd quite understand what Alec was going to say. He knew he should give the kid credit but it was just easier at this moment that he didn't have Max asking questions.

He planned on telling his parents. He had had opportune time over the last hour to do it but he just hadn't been able to yet. The words were like cement coating the walls of his throat, seizing his vocal chords. Every time the thought occurred in his head to tell them, the words were lost on his tongue and he couldn't do anything to grab onto them.

He was fighting with himself. He wanted to tell them so desperately, Magnus' words about him being ready and that he'd get the courage when he needed it repeating through his head. He felt ready, but there was no courage inside of him. At that moment, the closet doors were closed, and they were closed tight. He was hiding from saying those words, hiding yet again from his fear that his parents would reject them. Looking around him, he saw two people who accepted him and said they loved him no matter what. He smiled at the thought that he at least had them.

But it was so much different when it came down to his parents. It was a child's job to impress their parents-to get that A+ on their report card, to score the winning goal, or to win the spelling bee. It was the biggest let down to disappoint your parents and in a way, a child never forgives themselves when they do disappoint a parent. So it was Alec who was seven years old again, playing that first soccer game where it was up to him to score that final goal. He had to make his parents happy. He was so scared that if he didn't they would hate him for messing up. He would just be a letdown. He was scared yet again, scared of disappointing them, of making them hate him for his actions. He was scared he wouldn't live up to everything his parents wanted him to be.

Alec looked over at Magnus. They were seated on opposite ends of the couch, a reasonable distance for friends to sit away from each other. He didn't want that, but in order to change it, he knew what he had to do.

"Alec? Alec?"

"Hmm?" Alec looked up at his father who was trying to get his attention.

"Are you okay son? You look like you're zoning out."

"Oh, no. Just thinking."

"Anything important?"

Should he say no? If he said no then he was just delaying telling them, and the longer he delayed it, the harder it would be. But it would just be so much easier for him to say no and not tell them. Then he wouldn't have to face it. But he had to face the truth. He had to do it for himself…for Magnus. He had to tell them. This was who he was and he couldn't deny that any longer.

"Yes, actually." Alec caught Isabelle look up from the nail she was examining and Jace perked up from his position on the couch, his eyes opening for the first time in 30 minutes. Alec was actually really glad they were there. Between them and Magnus, he had all the support he needed. He felt like maybe he should have done it when no one else was in the room but it was at that moment that he felt like he had to do it. It was at that moment that he was finding his courage.

"What is it?" Maryse asked, shifting in her seat to turn her attention to her son. Alec caught a flicker of anticipation in Maryse's eyes before they went blank, Maryse's protection mechanism kicking in as it always did when serious conversations were about to start. Alec just wished that for once the mechanism was broken because he knew he wouldn't see a reaction from his mother. He knew she would be blank.

"I need to tell you two something." There was no turning back now. He was running head first into telling them and there was no stopping, even if he tried. This was that moment he had dreamed about his whole life. That moment where he let himself be free and revealed the truth. Alec's heart beat frantically in his chest. Alec took a deep breath, trying to grab onto his courage. He looked at Magnus and told himself that he was doing it for him. He wanted to give this to Magnus. He knew he should be doing it for himself, but if it weren't for Magnus, he wouldn't have been doing it at all. Magnus was the reason he wanted to come out. Magnus was the reason he didn't want to hide anymore.

Alec took one more breath, letting the air engulf his body in a safety blanket. Then he spoke. "I'm gay." For the second time that day those words slipped from his lips. He couldn't even describe the relief that swept through him with those words, the realization of the weight of what they meant. It felt amazing. The room seemed to fade away from him and all he could think about was what he had just said, what he had just done. Five years of hiding came back to him. Five years of trying to tell them the truth but never finding the courage to be true to himself. Five years of hating himself and running from who he was fell onto his shoulders, playing back in his mind. At the same time that the weight of the moment pushed him down, it also enlightened him, lifting him up higher than he'd ever been before.

Alec searched his parent's faces. With the beautiful realization of telling them the truth came the crashing force of the fear of what they would say. Their faces were blank, his mother's more emotionless and blank than it normally was. Even in their eyes Alec couldn't distinguish anything. Nothing. There wasn't love or hate or anything at all that would give Alec any hint to their reaction. They were just silent, statues of their former beings. The silence was killing Alec. He just wanted something. He needed to know what they thought. He couldn't deal with this suffocation that was draining all the hope from his body. He didn't know if he was supposed to think the silence was good or bad. He hadn't really expected them to smile and jump and say they loved him, but he had expected them to say something. They had to say something. He needed to know. If they didn't love him anymore the quicker he knew, the better.

"Guys, please say something."

"Are you two together?" It was Robert who spoke, his eyes darting slightly to Magnus and back to his son. Always so quiet in serious matters, leaving the talking to his wife, it was he who spoke first, filling the silence that Maryse's absent words has created.

"We are." Alec took Magnus' hand in his, making it the first time he had ever shown affection with Magnus in front of people. The feeling lifted Alec's heart. He didn't know that it would feel this good, this enlightening and beautiful. He was finally showing someone in the world that Magnus was his, that he was gay, and for once, he didn't care. He wasn't scared.

"How long?"

"A few months." The waiting was killing Alec. He didn't like these questions. He needed to know if they were okay with it. He needed to know if they still loved him even though he was gay. He looked at his mother. Her gaze was blank, her eyes a cold, stormy blue that seemed to look deep into Alec's soul. Nothing changed on her face, not even a twitch or a pass of emotion that gave Alec anything. Even Robert was blank. His voice told Alec nothing, his features, nothing. But Alec took that he had spoken words that weren't words of dejection as a good sign.

Robert nodded, taking in a deep breath. Slowly his face changed, slipping into one more soft, more… understanding. He looked up at his son, meeting Alec's eyes. Alec's heart soared at that moment because he didn't see hate. His father was never really easy to read most times, but Alec felt like he could read him at that moment. He felt like he was seeing a part of his father he'd never seen before.

"I'm glad you told us Alec." He looked briefly at his wife who was still speechless, before looking back at Alec and Magnus. A small reassuring smile crept across his face. "As long as you're happy, we're okay."

Alec let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He wanted to laugh, the same way he had laughed when he had told Jace. It was an euphoric laugh, a laugh that filled him up with a happiness so bright it was blinding. So it wasn't a fairytale event where they both hugged him and said they loved him and all that other stuff that was for fantasies, but it was enough for Alec. Robert was okay with it. Or at least that's what Alec got from him. If he wasn't he would have said so, right?

But his mother hadn't said anything. Actually, she hadn't even moved or breathed in the last few minutes. It was killing Alec. He didn't like this reaction. It was exactly what he had been afraid of. Exactly what Alec was so worried would happen. But he was still happy. He had said it and there was no going back now. The truth was out and it was so beautiful.

"Thank you Dad."

Robert nodded, looking at his wife. "Maryse?" He moved to touch her but she flinched away, her gaze still unwavering.

"I need some time." She stood up quickly, clearing the room in a few strides. The room was left in an awkward silence, the smile that had decorated Isabelle's face disappearing just as fast as his mother.

Alec watched her disappear, his heart breaking. This was what he had feared, what he was so scared would happen. She didn't accept him. She didn't like what he was, she hated him for it. She couldn't even look him in the eyes. His own mother. Alec just wanted her to love him for who he was, for everything. But he knew now that that had been wishful thinking.

Robert looked from the empty spot his wife had previously occupied back to his son. "Alec, I'm sorry. That wasn't what you wanted."

"No." The word choked out, about as broken as his heart was. She had rejected him. Well, she hadn't flat out said it, but her leaving spoke loud enough to Alec. It spoke rejection just as loud as if she had yelled it at him.

Alec felt Magnus squeeze his hand harder, offering the only reassurance Alec knew he could at that moment. But it didn't faze him. He was too focused on the image of his mother's eyes. So cold. So distant. He just wanted to see love in them, but he saw nothing. A blue, dark nothing.

"Alec, I'll tell you honestly. This will be an adjustment. It's not every day your son tells you he's gay. Your mother, she will need time, but she will grow to be okay with it. You're our son Alec, and we will love you no matter what. I'll tell you honestly that I don't really know what this means, but I will try to understand because you are my son. Your mother, well… I'll talk to her and I will make her remember that you're her son too."

"Thanks Dad." Alec averted his gaze from his father's face. He just wanted to run and hide. He felt so embarrassed, so exposed. He was so ashamed of what he was at that moment. Here, everyone who mattered to him was looking at him in the most vulnerable state he'd ever been in. He had just bared his heart to the world in a way he'd never done before. He had bared it, and placed it there in plain site, to be broken.

Robert stood up, crossing the room to Alec. He placed his hands on Alec's shoulders and they eased Alec's soul just a little bit. His father's hands had always been a reassuring figment of Alec's life. Always there to help him up, to teach him, to hold him. Alec looked up at his father slowly, catching a smile on his face that told Alec that at least his father still loved him.

"I'm proud of you son. And you don't forget that." He squeezed Alec's shoulder. He looked at Magnus, his gaze turning steely. "You take care of him."

"I will sir."

Robert dropped his hands. "Let me talk to your mother. It'll be okay Alec. I promise." And with that he left, following his wife.

Alec slumped, letting out a breath. He felt Magnus' arm slip around his shoulders but he barely registered it until Magnus spoke and his voice broke through Alec's thoughts.

"Alec, are you okay?"

Alec couldn't find his voice. He sensed Isabelle and Jace leave the room to leave Magnus and Alec alone. He couldn't bring himself to look at Magnus. He just felt so lost in that moment. He had always been searching for acceptance from people and because he had hid who he was, he never had to face what it would feel like to not be accepted, but now he had faced it. He had faced it head on and it hurt like hell.

"Alec, baby, answer me."

Underneath everything he felt about his mother and his father and his own self-loathing, he suddenly remembered Magnus and all the beautiful things he felt for him. He remembered the one person who accepted him, the one person who was a constant in his life. Magnus was a light beneath all the darkness of Alec's fears, leading him slowly along the narrow winding road that Alec had countless times gotten lost on. Magnus was a comfort, everything Alec needed. Magnus was worth not being accepted for. As much as it hurt to see his mother leave, he knew that he had finally admitted to himself, and to his parents, that he was gay and that he was with Magnus. That he had the most amazing person in the world, and that he was his.

Alec looked up at Magnus, locking his eyes with Magnus' green ones. He let himself get lost in the swirling of his irises, falling ever deeper into the light that was Magnus.

Magnus smiled lightly, trying to comfort Alec. "You did it baby. You did it." Magnus moved his hand to brush a stray strand of Alec's hair behind his ear, leaving his hand to linger on the side of Alec's face. He traced his thumb over Alec's skin, massaging soft and reassuring circles.

Alec took a deep, shaky breath. "I did, didn't I?"

Magnus smiled. "You did. I'm proud of you. I know how hard that was."

"Yeah." Alec bit his lip, biting harder than normal because he just wanted to feel a pain that wasn't in his heart. A pain that he knew would go away eventually. What if Robert couldn't convince Maryse to accept him? What if she continued to need time and in that time decided she didn't love Alec anymore? Alec told himself not to think about it but he couldn't stop himself. "But my mom… she… it was what I was afraid of."

"I know Alec, I know. And I wish it hadn't have been that way for you. But she'll come around Alec, she will."

"How do you know Magnus? I saw the way she looked. She hates me." He just wanted to cry. He wanted to run and just cry. He wanted to let the pain out and just let it overtake him instead of bottling it up in his heart where it was now ripping him apart. He felt so numb yet so alive with pain at the same time.

"No, Alec. I know what hate looks like and that's not it. That's a mother who needs time to figure out what it means about her son being gay. Give her time Alec. You've had five years to come to terms with who you are. She's had 10 minutes. Give her some time before you think she hates you." Magnus' words were soft, a whisper in the large room. They seeped through every inch of Alec, pushing away some of the pain.

"How are you always so right?" Alec let go of his lip now that he'd weathered a permanent dent into it.

"I'd tell you a bunch of reasons to inflate my ego, but now's not the time for that." Magnus used his hand to tilt Alec's head so that their eyes were directly in line with each other and Alec's eyes moved to look down and avert Magnus' gaze. "Just give her time. Can you do that Alec? For her? But more importantly for yourself?"

"Yeah, I can do it."

"Good. Now smile. Frowns aren't an appealing colour on you. Well, neither is any colour you wear." Magnus' mouth formed a small pout that Alec couldn't help but smile at. "There we go. There's the Alec I know. Brave, beautiful, and amazing."

"I'm not those things."

"Babe, you're those things and a million more." Magnus placed a soft kiss to Alec's lips, pulling away slightly so that their foreheads touched. A few seconds passed between them.

"Magnus?"

"Yes, love?"

"I love you." The words slipped from his lips just as fast as he had thought them. But as he spoke them, he didn't regret them. That day had grown to be a day of telling people things, things he had never told anyone else. And in this instance, what he had just told Magnus, was something he'd never actually told himself. The words just came to him. So quickly but so beautifully, they lit Alec up, numbing all the pain and replacing Alec with a light so bright and blinding that he was lost in it.

He loved Magnus. Who would have ever thought he'd feel that way? Who would have ever thought he'd say that out loud without any preparation, without any thought? It was spontaneous. Not just the words, but the sudden realization that he loved Magnus. He had never felt this way for anyone in his life. Magnus was everything to him. Magnus was his friend, his comfort, his light… his love. God, it was beautiful. He had been so afraid of being with a man and now he was with one and he wasn't even afraid of loving him. Instead, he embraced those words and those feelings with open arms, letting them overtake his body and his heart. He ran head first into them, letting them become everything that he was.

He realized that Magnus was all he needed. With Magnus he was happy every second of his day. He was himself and he felt complete. With Magnus he had a road beneath his feet, a direction to follow, and a reason to follow it. With Magnus he felt like he had meaning, like he was alive. There was so much Alec had run from his entire life and Magnus had given him all that back. He had shown him what it meant to love himself and to not be afraid. He owed the world to him and Magnus had shown him what it meant to love.

Magnus pulled away. "Alec… I…"

Alec searched Magnus' eyes. For once he couldn't read them. There was nothing but a cold reminder of what they used to be. Magnus had grown closed off, nothing giving anything away to what he was feeling. Alec didn't like this; cold and blank never boded well. Alec had learned that just twenty minutes prior.

"I love you Magnus." He said it again, hoping to get a different reaction from Magnus, but he got nothing. This wasn't good. This wasn't what he wanted. He hadn't been afraid when he had said it but he was afraid now. Had he messed it up? Magnus didn't feel the same way, that was why he wasn't answering. It had to be. Alec felt his heart break for the second time that night at the realization that he had just said something that he probably shouldn't have said. He knew he shouldn't regret saying 'I love you' but the blank look he received from Magnus was enough to make him regret saying it. He wanted something from Magnus, something more than this.

"I… Alec…" He was at a loss for words, something Magnus was never at a loss for. But Alec got the hint. Maybe some things were just better left unsaid.

"I get it. I'm sorry." Alec removed his hand from Magnus', feeling another pain rip through him as he lost the feel of Magnus' skin against his own. Alec stood up. "Good night Magnus. Thank you for everything." He looked down at Magnus who was still void of any emotion. Alec took a deep breath before turning away from him and walking away.

The pain that ripped through him as he walked away was unimaginable. He felt his knees grow weak beneath him but he knew he had to get to his room. He felt so lost, so broken and disoriented within his own body. He knew now what a broken heart felt like. It was the sort of pain that made each step unbearable, each breath hard to breathe. It was the sort of pain that rippled to every part of your body, straight from that central place in your chest. It was the kind of pain that broke apart every thought and every fibre of your being, leaving you hollow and empty without any compass to guide you.

Alec climbed the stairs to the second story, replaying the events of the last thirty minutes in his head. He had told his parents he was gay and gotten acceptance from his father while getting ignored and pretty much rejected by his mother. Then he had blindly told his boyfriend that he loved him and received nothing. Not an 'I love you too'. Not an 'I don't feel the same way'. Not even a facial expression. All he got was too staggered, meaningless words. He knew he had taken Magnus by surprise but he expected at least something. He needed at least something.

Alec opened the door to his room, closing it quickly behind him. He let his knees give out beneath him as his back slid down the cold wood of the door. As he hit the floor, so did the first of his tears. They slid down his skin, reflecting back at him his pain in tiny sparkling fragments. Alec couldn't remember the last time he had cried. The last time he had shed tears about being gay was when he first really realized he was. Ever since then, he had sworn he wouldn't cry again. But as the weight of everything came crashing down around him, he couldn't do anything but cry. He felt like he had lost everything in the course of an hour. He knew he hadn't really, that all the answers he had received were not real answers, but still, he felt like he had lost them.

Why hadn't his mother looked at him? Why hadn't she said something to him? Why hadn't Magnus said something back to at least give Alec an answer? He just wanted something. He was tired of having nothing, of having cold blank faces, and emotionless words. He just wanted somebody to give him something. To tell him it was okay. He just wanted someone to love him.

Alec wiped the tears from his face, trying hard to stop them from coming. But he couldn't. They were shed straight from his heart, a place Alec couldn't touch to make them stop. He wasn't really sure how long he sat there, letting the tears fall, enveloped in the pain. All he knew was that he was numb, he was cold, and he wanted to take that day back. That, or do it over.

He wanted his mother to accept him.

And he wanted Magnus to say he loved him.

Was that too much to ask for?

Alright, so to quote my lovely beta, I want to give Alec a hug really bad for like a week. Straight. Alec finally spills his whole heart and gets it broken. Twice. I hated doing that to him but it won't be bad forever, I promise. I can be cruel to characters, but not that cruel. Anyway, what did you guys think? The issues in this chapter will be solved in the next, I promise. I will try to get that up as quick as possible. It's all outlined in my head so now I just have to get it onto my computer. So, please leave a review. Let me know what you think because I absolutely love hearing from all of you. Thanks for reading! Until next time my lovely readers!

Be the change,
Amber