Chapter 12
Despite the texts they'd exchanged before bed Sunday night, Santana had the whole night to wonder if maybe it was all just an elaborate prank meant to pay her back for some stupid incident when they were kids or something. That morning, she'd waited anxiously on the top step of the porch looking for Quinn's familiar little red car to come down the street, getting more and more worried each minute it didn't turn the corner. Finally her watch told her she'd have to get her ass in gear if she didn't want to get yelled at by Sue for being late to morning practice.
Sighing softly, her heart aching in her chest, she stood up and dusted off the seat of her skirt before settling her backpack on her shoulders. Hooking her thumbs into the straps, she'd started trudging down the street towards the school. She knew she'd probably end up having to all but sprint the last mile, but she didn't really feel like putting too much effort in right then.
Quinn pulled out of her car out of the coffee drivethru and turned onto Santana's road. She saw her girlfriend walking and pulled up next to her, "San? What the hell are you doing?" She called through the window. "I said I'd pick you up."
"Q-quinn?" Santana was already shivering from having to wear her cheerleading outfit for morning practice, but she still sounded surprised when she looked over and saw her boyfriend in his car. "You c-came? I had to get going c-cause I di-didn't want to be late. D-don't need Sue yelling at me th-this early."
"Get in the car," she said, leaning over to open the door for her. "I went to get you coffee and was delayed," she added, turning up the heat once Santana was inside.
Santana fumbled the seatbelt on and rubbed at her cold legs. "Fucking hate that Sue won't let us wear track-pants even when it's this damn cold out," she groused, brightening slightly as she realized that Quinn had gotten her coffee. "Oh my God, you're amazing," she groaned, picking up the cup and sipping it so the warmth could flow through her. Once she was a little warmer, she glanced over at Quinn. "I actually wasn't really sure you were coming," she admitted softly.
"I told you last night I'd be here at 6:15." Quinn's brow furrowed, "Its only 6:20, we have practice at 7:00.." She looked at the other girl confused, "Right? I told you I was coming," she continued driving down the dark road. "There's a bagel in there too for you," Quinn offered as she sipped her own coffee.
"No, I mean," she fiddled with the coffee cup in her hands, letting it warm her cold fingers a bit. "Ugh, I feel as stupid as Berry! I just... I thought maybe you'd changed your mind." She shrugged, looking out the window, "About wanting me and stuff. I mean other people have and it's not a big deal if you did..."
"San... You're anything but stupid so please don't say dumb things. Of course I'm not changing my mind. In the five hours since I last texted you I slept and God knows that doesn't change people's feelings," She joked. "I'm not gonna change my mind okay?" Quinn said as she put down her coffee cup and and put her hand on Santana's thigh.
Santana's smiles were rarely shy. Flirtatious. Devious. Occasionally manic. But rarely shy. Yet the one she flashed Quinn just then was definitely in that category. "Really? You're not just saying that right?" The shyness fell away, replaced with a more serious smirk and a teasing tone, "Because I will cut you if you're messing with me."
"Please with what you know about me I'd have to kill you to get rid of you," Quinn teased as she squeezed her hand. "Drink your coffee and I'm gonna drink mine. It's too early for your crazy."
Santana almost snorted the coffee was drinking through her nose but just barely managed to contain herself without making a mess. "Please. You didn't seem to have a problem getting with my crazy yesterday morning," she teased, "or the night before."
"I prefer your crazy naked, what can I say," Quinn smirked, pulling into the parking lot and grabbed the bag near the girl's feet. "Alright I have a bagel with cream cheese, bagel with egg and bacon or croissant with egg and bacon take your choice." Quinn held out the bag to Santana with a smile.
"Just the bagel with cream cheese. I won't come between you and bacon," Santana teased, fully aware she wouldn't eat anything until after morning practice because she didn't want to hurl during a throw.
"Alright, I'll give the other one to Sam once we get to class." She shrugged and wrapped the sandwiches up. She looked at the clock at they had 15 minutes before needing to head into school so she quickly leaned over and pressed a kiss to Santana's lips. "Morning."
"Not good enough," Santana whispered with a smirk, reaching over to cup the back of Quinn neck and pull him in for a real kiss, her tongue slipping out to swipe along his lips, stealing a taste of his coffee. "Mmm. That's better, don't you think?" She winked, pulling away slightly.
Quinn's eyes remained shut when she pulled away, "So much better." Quinn bit her lip before opening her eyes. "I like kissing you." She smiled as she took another sip of her coffee.
"Me too," Santana admitted with a tiny smile. "It's gonna royally suck not getting to kiss you whenever I want. However I want."
"I know..." Quinn sighed, "But like I guess it's like the secret makes it better and more fun because it's just for us," she offered up. "It's just for us now and that's okay."
"Mmm," Santana sipped at her coffee, looking out the window, "And maybe it'll be just for us when I pull you into a storage closet later cause I need to kiss you so bad... and if you wanted to maybe stick those fingers of yours in me and fuck me hard while you're kissing me, that'd be cool too."
"I thought you'd still be sore from yesterday." Quinn asked with a slight chuckle, "Here I was worried that you were going to need me to go easy on you at practice." The blonde said as she drank more of her coffee.
"A bit sore, but the best kind," Santana teased with a wink, "and sorry, but your fingers are less impressive than your cock, Q." She finished off her coffee and stuck the cup in the bag Quinn had hanging from the back of the passenger seat. "But don't worry, cap, I can take anything you can dish out."
"I will continue to test that theory," Quinn winked as she got out of the car and grabbed her backpack and gym bag. She pulled her sunglasses over her face and looked at her girlfriend and smiled, "Ready?"
Santana got out and stretched long, glancing over at her boyfriend with a smirk as the shell lifted, exposing her tight stomach and a faint reddish mark from where he'd kissed a little too hard yesterday morning. "As I'll ever be. Let's go kick some lazy cheerleader ass and show them what a real workout is."
Quinn laughed and headed to the field.
Quinn plopped down next to Sam during Glee and took a drink of her Powerade. "Did you and Blaine have a nice weekend?" She asked as she watched Santana working at the piano with Blaine and Mercedes.
"As good as yours?" He smirked, looking up to see the smile on her face and sliding an arm around her shoulders. "You look like someone doubled the sugar on your Cheerios this morning." He paused, "I totally didn't mean the cheerleaders."
"Mmm," she smiled with a slight blush. "After the game I headed home but I had breakfast with Kelly Saturday morning," she said as she watched Santana from across the room before looking back to her friend. "But, I went to the club that night and met up with San... She knows about me now."
"No shit, seriously?" He looked surprised and a bit worried, "Are you okay? Crap... she didn't like freak out or anything did she? Is she gonna tell?"
"I'm trying to not think about it," Quinn admitted honestly. "I know she's gay, and I'm really scared that she only wants to be with me now because she liked me prior and she's willing to put up with my... deformity." She sighed as she looked at him.
"Dude, being a guy ain't a deformity!" He looked slightly offended. "And she's been with Puck and stuff, right? Maybe she thinks you're like best of both worlds. Like a peanut butter cup!" He grinned, pleased with his analogy.
"Seriously?" She laughed, "Damn, fatty, is food all you think about?" She rolled her eyes and kicked her legs up on the empty chair in front of her. "I just like... I'm worried that she's gonna flip out on me... when she realizes that like this is legit and I'm not just playing or something." Quinn watched her for a moment with a soft smile, "But she says... she says things like I'm ﾑalways a guy' even when I'm dressed like this, so maybe she does understand."
Sam looked unsure but he shrugged, "Well, I hope she does. She's... Eh, I don't know. You've known her way longer than me. All I can tell you is she's a really good kisser. Like really good."
"Oh, trust me," she smirked, "I know." Santana walked across the room with a bit of a limp as she spoke softly to Brittany who was pouting at the darker girl. "See that little limp she's got going on?" Quinn smirked as she looked at her girlfriend then her pseudo-boyfriend. "I'll give you three guesses to the cause."
He frowned as he watched Santana move around the room then his eyes widened. "No way! You did Satan? Holy shit, Q!" Suddenly he was pouting, "Hey, wait a second. She wouldn't let me do her and we dated for like two weeks..."
"My dick's bigger than yours," Quinn said with a shrug as she gently hit him with her elbow. "You know that she's always been the one I liked, but like I thought she didn't like dudes and I didn't wanna be labled as a lesbian." She shrugged, "But you know, I think that all of our fighting has to go somewhere and if that's in the fucking?" She smiled brightly. "All's good."
"San's right," he muttered, "you are such a dude even like this. But if you two are like hooking up now, don't that mean you're gonna stop fighting and stuff?"
"Nah," She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder, "We've been fighting since we met when I first moved here when we were twelve." Quinn frowned as she saw Santana's face scrunch up in confusion when Brittany spoke. "I wonder what's going on there."
"Britt, you're with Artie. You dumped me, remember? Again." Santana shook her head. "Where is this even coming from? So what if I've been hanging out with Quinn. She's my friend."
"Yeah, but you're supposed to hang out with me," Brittany pouted. "I miss you, Sanny. You won't double date with me and Artie and we don't hang out any more..."
"Brittany," Santana rubbed at her temples, "you were fucking him while we were supposed to be dating. You kept blowing me off to go over to his house to ride on his wheelchair and don't think I don't know there wasn't a lot of clothes involved."
"But you said it's not cheating if..."
"Look, I know what I said, Britt, and I was wrong to say that. It is cheating and we're done. I'm not doing this again. I can't."
"But, San." Brittany pouted as she looked at her friend with puppy dog eyes. "It's not fair you hang out with Quinn and go places without me. I called your cellphone yesterday and you ignored it."
"I already told you the battery died, Britt. And you know you were busy with Artie anyway." Santana was getting frustrated. She didn't want to be having this conversation, but Brittany was insisting.
Quinn had seen the frustration on Santana's face and she quickly moved down to join the other Cheerios. "Hey, guys," she smiled as she slid into the conversation, "what's up?"
"Oh... Hi Quinn..." Brittany said as she glared at the floor, "Sanny and I were talking."
"Oh cool," Quinn nodded, "I was actually seeing if I could borrow San to work on our song." she looked at Santana and raised her eyebrow to indicate she was giving her a way out.
Santana smiled gratefully at her boyfriend for an instant before Brittany looked back up. "Sorry, Britt. You know I gotta get this right or Schue's gonna bitch. We'll hang out later, okay?"
Quinn took Santana's arm and took her out into the hall and led her down the hall and pulled her into the janitor's closet. "You okay, baby?" she asked softly as she looked at her girlfriend.
Santana leaned against the door with a tired sigh, locking it before looking up at Quinn with a smile. "Yeah. I just," she shook her head with a shrug. "Brittany's being frustrating. I don't know if she wants me to just hang around like some kind of convenient fucktoy when she's not getting it good enough from the Amazing Cripple Boy or what, but... I'm done. She can't treat me like that and expect me to stay. Not," she took a breath, "not when I've got someone who actually wants me, right?"
"I'm sorry she's such a bitch," Quinn said as she pulled the girl into a hug. "She fucked up and doesn't realize how big a mistake she made by hurting you."
"Or you," Santana muttered, wrapping her arms around Quinn's waist and letting herself relax in her boyfriend's arms. "Thanks," she finally whispered into Quinn's neck, "I really needed this."
"I don't like seeing you upset," she whispered as she kissed Santana's head. "I like seeing you happy and if a simple hug makes you happy? I'm more than willing to hug you, that's what boyfriends are for right?" She smiled and pressed a the girl's neck.
"Yeah," Santana smiled, nuzzling at Quinn's neck. "This having a boyfriend stuff is pretty awesome, actually." She leaned up and nipped at Quinn's ear. "Kinda wish you were all here right now," she whispered, letting her hand rest on Quinn's chest over her heart.
"I mean... yeah me too," Quinn said softly. "I could always use other things in you are dying of need," she said softly. "Or I could just hold you for awhile... whatever you'd like."
"I'm not dying of need," Santana rolled her eyes, "I just... I like feeling close to you. And when we're together like that we can't really get much closer, you know?" She shrugged, "Whatever. That sounds stupid and sappy..."
"I know, babe," Quinn chuckled as she pulled Santana into a kiss. "I just don't wanna get caught since the bell's gonna ring in like five minutes." She sighed and pulled her into a deep kiss. She was trying to convey how much Santana meant to her in that kiss.
Santana moaned softly into the kiss. She didn't know what it was - maybe the softness of Quinn's lips or the way he held her against him and took possession of her mouth as if she belonged to him - but she kind of loved it when Quinn kissed her. It made her feel warm and tingly all the way to her toes. When she finally pulled away she blinked dazedly up at her lover. "I know some places we wouldn't get caught," she suggested with a lustful smile as her eyes stayed hooked on Quinn's lips.
"San," Quinn whispered with a faint smile, "I want you for more than your sexy body." She ran her fingers through Santana's ponytail. "I just wanna hold you for a little bit," she said as she held Santana closer. "I just really like holding you."
Santana sighed contentedly and rested her head on Quinn's shoulder, letting go of the lust. "Please," she whispered, "it's nice."
Quinn wrapped her arms around Santana's shoulders and held her tightly. "So beautiful and you smell so good," Quinn whispered and fell into a comfortable silence.
Outside the closet door, Brittany stood slack jawed. She was in shock, Quinn wasn't a guy so why was Santana calling her her boyfriend? She was more annoyed that Santana turned her down for Quinn. She might not be the smartest tool in the shed, but she didn't like coming in second or losing things that belonged to her. Especially not to people like Quinn. She glared at the door one more time before running off down the hall.
Kelly looked up from her macroeconomics textbook and smiled at the sound of the bell over the door ringing. "Hi, can I help... you," some of the brightness fell from her smile when she recognized the blond young man coming in. "Quinn? I haven't heard from you in a couple of weeks." Not since their breakfast almost-date in fact, though she had a pretty good idea why. "Is everything okay?"
Quinn scuffed his shoes on the floor. "Hey," he said softly as he walked over to the counter and with a book in her hands. "I brought you this, you said you needed a good book and you hadn't read this yet." He slid the paperback of Chuck Palahniuk's Survivor across the counter to her. "Sorry, I haven't called you," he looked down regretfully. "It's shitty of me."
"It is what it is. You young guys get all caught up in new things and forget about the old ones," she teased, watching him with a sad little smile. "Thanks for the book. I'll try and get it back to you soon."
Quinn came over and hopped up on the counter, watching her, "Kel," he said softly. "You know, don't you?" He asked as he looked up to meet her eyes with a guilty expression.
"That you found someone to be with?" She smiled slightly sadly and glanced down to turn a page in her book. "I've got a pretty good idea."
"You told me we couldn't be together," Quinn admitted as he looked at Kelly. "You know what I wanted, you know I wanted to try with you," he whispered. "But I also know you didn't want to be my girlfriend." He cupped her cheek, asking her to look at him.
"Quinn," Kelly breathed softly, sighing as she raised her eyes to meet his. She covered his hand with her own and looked at him for a moment. "I know what you wanted and I know what I am. Part of me wishes that I could have had more time with you but the bigger part knows this would have happened eventually. I got to have a night with you. You made me forget for a little while. Made me feel special for a night. That's enough for me."
"You're still special to me, Kelly," he smiled. "You were one of the first people who saw me as I am." He smoothed his thumb over her cheek bone. "I think you are so amazing and lovely and honestly loving." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "And I'm sorry we didn't get more time together as lovers, but I think I would have fallen in love with you if we had. We both know that and we both know we wouldn't end well."
"Please don't tell me that," Kelly whispered, looking back down at her book. "Don't tell me about what could have been. Could have beens hurt too much and I don't want to think about them. Just...no," she shook her head. "What happened was going to happen one way or the other. After all, nice girls don't make out with someone they just met at a sex shop or in the back of a car on the second meeting. They certainly don't fuck by the third...it wasn't even a date. Please don't talk about what might or could have been, Quinn."
"Kel... I'm so sorry," he whispered, pulling his hand away. "I'm really bad at this... I'm saying all the wrong things." He blinked away tears, "I never wanted to hurt you."
"Yeah, well, you're young, it was going to happen," she sighed, putting her books up. "I set myself up for this by getting involved with you. It's not your fault, Quinn. I...hope everything works out between you and," she hesitated slightly, Santana's name hovering on the tip of her tongue, "whoever it is you're with."
"You... you're still my friend right?" He asked softly, scared to hear her tell him no. "I understand if you're not... I led you on and I hurt you. I guess I just filled my weekly jackass male requirements."
"You didn't lead me on. I just," she sighed, offering a brave smile, "wasn't really expecting to get dumped by everyone this week. Kinda hurts a girl's ego, you know? Of course I'm still your friend if you want me to be. Didn't really sound like you did, but I told you at the beginning I wanted to be friends even after what we were doing was done."
"I don't think I even want to consider what life would be like without you as a friend." Quinn said, "I wanna have breakfast with you and go to bookstores and hang out in this dingy fucking store." He smiled as he looked at her, "I think that... wait? Santana broke things off with you?" He said almost shocked, "I'm... I'm sorry, Kelly. I didn't mean for this to happen, okay. I never thought that she'd be okay with me how I am. But... she seems to be and I owe it to us... to give it a chance."
"So you are with her," Kelly murmured, nodding wistfully. "That...figures. And if she's with you, then why wouldn't she end things with me?" She offered a tiny smile, "Why settle for a fuckbuddy when you can have the real thing, huh? Sometimes I just wish... No. There's no point in going there," she shook her head. "Be careful with her, Quinn. Both for you and for her. I don't want either of you to get hurt."
"Yeah," he sighed, looking down at his hands. "I don't know. I know I care about her and I care about you and it's scary to think that I'm losing out on anything that could happen with us because I'm with her..." He groaned, "I'm just kinda scared that... I'm scared that she's gonna hurt me." He looked away at the first time he was speaking the words that had been plaguing his brain. "She's gay and I'm not a girl."
"I know. I hope neither of you hurt each other, but that's always a possibility in a relationship." She reached over and squeezed his knee. "It's part of life and growing up to get hurt by the people you care about."
"Maybe," he said softly. "I'm just like freaked out that I'm gonna lose everything if people find out before I move out of my dad's house," he said almost in fear. He knew he'd be in serious trouble if his father found out about him or the fact he was not only a boy but dating Santana, who wasn't just a woman but a Latina as well. Two strikes against him in his father's book and Russell had never even needed even one to hate someone.
"If it helps, you can come to my place," Kelly offered. "I know it's not big but my couch is super comfy and it'd give you a couple days at least to figure out your next move."
"We'll see if he figures it out." He shrugged, "Oh shit, I forgot I brought you dinner." He said as he grabbed a Subway bag out of his tote. "It's turkey." He smiled, "I know you don't get out til late."
"Quinn..." She took the Subway bag like it was the best gift she'd received in a while. "I don't get you. You have to break up with a girl before you buy her dinner?" For a second she was afraid she was going to cry, knowing she'd done everything with them ass backwards, but she ended up laughing instead.
"Man lesson number 142," Quinn laughed as he looked at her with a smile. "I'll keep it in the book of things to learn." He smiled as he took a sip of the water bottle he brought for himself. "You're my friend. I can feed friends if I want."
"No," she shook her head reaching up to hug him, "don't learn it. Stay just who you are. You're perfect the way you are..."
He hugged her back with a soft smile, "I'm really glad we're friends."
"Me too," she whispered, ignoring the twinge in her chest that wished they could have been more than that.