Chapter 22

Unprotected

Songs:

A Modern Myth-30 Seconds to Mars

Sky-Joshua Radin

The rest of Christmas Break passed relatively less dramatic than the first week had. There were no more mass revelations of any sort, but just simple drama between siblings, Magnus and Jace, and family. Looking back on each day, Magnus couldn't help but just smile. He was with Alec, back at school, and everything had turned out better than they had expected. Most of Alec's fears had been assuaged and Magnus didn't think he'd ever seen Alec as happy as he'd been the last two weeks. It was sort of like he was seeing a new man. This Alec was more confident, more aware of himself, and just altogether happier about everything. It wasn't that Magnus didn't like old Alec, but this one had a new spark that Magnus was growing to like very much.

But whereas Alec was clearly unbothered by a single thing, Magnus couldn't shake the dream he had had. He couldn't stop thinking that somewhere, underneath the fact it was just a dream, that part of it was true, or could be true. What if his dad had been right? What if Magnus was just destined to hurt Alec like he hurt everyone else? What if Magnus was just meant to be alone the rest of his life? As much as his heart was alight with the revelations of the last few weeks, it was also shrouded in a dark cloud that was bogging down every happy feeling inside of him. He was scared. He had always known these fears were a part of him but he thought they were going away. He had been afraid to love and yet had fallen head over heels for Alec, so he figured that his other fears would disappear too. Apparently he had been wrong. Now more than ever he was afraid of hurting him. Alec had made him a promise not to hurt him, and Magnus knew he couldn't make that promise back. He just couldn't shake the feeling that one day he was going to hurt Alec.

Magnus looked at Alec, who upon arriving back at the dorm, had passed out on his bed. It had been a long two weeks. Magnus was tired too but he just couldn't bring himself to sleep. With thoughts of his dream plaguing every waking hour, sleeping had become impossible. But ever since getting back, there was this other persistent thought that was hammering at his every sense. What now? After everything that had happened, was Alec ready to take that final step? Could he come out to the world? Magnus had pushed down his feelings about the issue, ignoring them as best he could, but they were starting to surface. In all honesty, it hurt. Magnus had felt pain before, emotionally and physically, but this pain was so different. It wasn't like a cut or a broken heart, both of which could go away. This was the sort of pain that stuck around, beating as his heart beat, breathing as his lungs breathed. This was the pain of hiding, of being in a room so small there's no room to move. It was suffocating. Looking at Alec, he wanted so badly to scream from their window how much he loved the boy, how much he wanted him in his life. But he couldn't. He could only tell Alec that in whispers, hidden behind doors and makeshift walls.

He was doing this for Alec because he loved him, but he had never thought it would be this hard to keep it a secret. He'd never thought that their relationship would progress to this point where Magnus couldn't hide anymore. He wanted to but he just couldn't. He knew it was selfish and he hated himself for feeling it, but he did, and he couldn't deny that. He wanted to be public with Alec. He hadn't pushed Alec to do anything; he was leaving Alec to go at his own pace.

He was so proud of him for telling his parents. He always knew Alec could do it, just as he knew he could also do this. Magnus knew Alec was stronger than the boy thought. Magnus knew Alec could do it. It wasn't that he was mad at Alec for not telling the world, he understood why; it was just that Magnus didn't want to wait anymore. Their relationship wasn't just some fling, it didn't mean nothing. Their relationship was pure and they loved each other, and that meant something. All he could do was hope that Alec could see how good things had worked out at home and see that things could be the same in the outside world. He didn't want to hide anymore. It was as simple as that. He loved Alec with all his heart but he just didn't want to hide anymore.

Magnus jumped out of his reverie when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out, seeing William's name flash across the screen. Magnus and William hadn't really talked since the conversation they had had before Christmas. William had called him to tell him to have a good Christmas, but even that conversation had been strained and difficult. Ever since William had revealed he still loved him, things were tense. Magnus just didn't know how to be around him now. Could they still be friends?

"Hello."

"Hi." William's voice was quiet. "Um, how was your Christmas?"

"Good. Yours?"

"Had better." William paused. "Look I called because I wanted to talk to you."

"And not about Christmas, I presume?" He knew he shouldn't have answered the call. He knew it would turn to this and he wasn't so sure he wanted to deal with this yet. But he had to. He couldn't run. He didn't want Alec to run, so it was about time he took his own advice.

"No. I wanted to apologize for the way I acted before Christmas. What I did, what I...said. I shouldn't have. It was wrong of me, and completely out of line, and I'm sorry. I know this changes everything and I've probably fucked up everything between us but I didn't want to leave things as we did. I mean, I know there's nothing for us, you're with Alec now, but I still want to be your friend. Or at least something. Can we do that?" The hope in William's voice echoed through the phone. Magnus honestly believed every word William was saying. Well, at least he wanted to. William was a good guy and the relationship they had shared had been short lived, but special. Magnus wanted to say that they could be friends, but he knew it was a bad idea. Alec was the jealous type and he'd already seen how Alec got in response to William. It just wasn't that easy to say that they could be friends. He wasn't going to do that to Alec.

"It's not that easy for me William, you know that."

William sighed. "Alec."

"Yes. I mean you tell me how this would look to him; being friends with my ex-boyfriend. I can't do that to him William."

"Magnus, people are friends with their exes all the time."

"People aren't friends with exes who still love them."

Magnus knew his words struck a chord with William when he didn't respond. But what was he supposed to say? Being friends wasn't that easy when one person in the relationship wanted more than the other.

"Touché." William sighed. "But Magnus... I was wrong in what I said. I was impetuous and stupid. I realize that you were right. It was three years ago and I'm fooling myself into feeling the same way. I haven't moved on. But I want to Magnus. I can. But I don't want to lose you because of this. We can still have something. And if it's about Alec, I'll talk to him. I'll tell him where I stand with you. I'll tell him I don't want anything else; that we're over. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it." Most people would have sounded desperate to Magnus' ears, but William just sounded lost. He sounded like the boy Magnus used to know who was so confident in himself, but so very scared of losing everything.

"William... I can't. Look, I'm sorry, but I just can't do that to him. I can't do that to us. It's just not that easy to forget everything between us and move on. Maybe one day we can be friends, but I don't think that time is now. When you know that you've moved on and if by some chance you still want to be friends, then maybe then we can make this work. But right now, we can't. I just don't think it'll work. I'm sorry William."

A few seconds passed between them before William spoke. "I see. Okay. Well, maybe I'll see you around campus?"

"Maybe. Bye William."

"Bye Magnus." The pain in William's voice cracked through the phone, pulling at Magnus' heart. William could say what he wanted but Magnus just couldn't trust that he had moved on. And with everything going on, Magnus just didn't think it was a good idea. Alec already didn't like William and Magnus didn't want to start another fight. William meant something to him once, but Alec was his life now. He was what was important.

Magnus clicked off his phone, setting it on his bed as Alec's eyes slipped open slowly. Magnus grinned, catching a small smile cross Alec's lips. "And he wakes."

"How long have I been asleep?" Alec yawned, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand.

"A couple hours."

"Who were you talking to?" Alec sat up slowly, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"William."

And in that moment, the tiredness slipped away. Alec's eyes lit up, meeting Magnus' gaze. Magnus hadn't told Alec about what had happened between them yet. He hadn't really found an appropriate time to bring it up, and he wasn't exactly ready for the fight he knew would ensue. Alec had pretty much hated William from the first moment he'd seen him, which was reasonably understandable. William hadn't given Alec reason to hate him other than the fact that he had dated Magnus. Magnus understood where Alec's jealousy came from. It was because of his insecurities. Alec saw this guy who was out and proud, who had given Magnus a public relationship, and so Alec was threatened. He worried that he would never be able to give Magnus that relationship and so he thought Magnus would leave him just for the public relationship. Sure, Magnus wanted a public relationship, but it was going to take a hell of a lot more than that for him to leave Alec.

"William? What were you talking about?"

"He wanted to know how my Christmas had gone."

"Oh." Alec looked down, avoiding Magnus' gaze. He played absentmindedly with his fingers before looking up at Magnus. "So I guess that means you two are friends?"

"No. We're friendly acquaintances, if you must put a title on it."

Alec looked up, catching Magnus' gaze. "Why aren't you friends?"

Magnus shrugged. "Because it would never work between us. We had something a couple years ago and we need to just end it at that. Now come on, let's not talk about him. Let's do something else."

Alec sighed. "Magnus, why do you always do this?"

"Do what?"

"Stray away from talking about William. I just feel like there's so much you're not telling me."

"That's because it's not important." It really wasn't that important. But it was Magnus' past and he didn't like talking about that.

"And if I want to know? Alec asked.

"Then I'll tell you." Magnus didn't want to, but if Alec asked, he would. It didn't really feel right hiding it all from Alec. And it wasn't like Magnus had anything to be ashamed of. Also, maybe telling Alec could ease Alec's worrying and jealousy.

"Okay." Alec crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against the wall. "Tell me."

Magnus sighed. "I met William when I was 15. He lived next door to the family I was staying with at the time. When we met, we hit it off. We became friends and he was the best thing that I'd had since losing my mother. I eventually told him I was gay and he told me that he was too. But he was scared of telling people, afraid of what his parents would think. I knew how that felt and so I helped him through it as best I could. We stuck together and learned how to be strong against the world. It didn't take long before we started dating. It was good. We were happy, young, and for both of us it was the first time we'd ever felt truly accepted." Magnus smiled at the memories they had had together. His time with William had been special and he wouldn't trade it for anything. William had changed him, made him a better man, and he was grateful for that. "After a year, William told me he loved me. And I ran. I got scared of the commitment, of that feeling which I didn't know anymore. I couldn't say it back and I didn't feel it back. So I broke it off with him."

"Just like that?"

Magnus nodded. "I know how it sounds. But I didn't know what else to do. In the foster system you come to learn not to become attached because things never last. I thought William was too good to be true, almost like a dream. So I left him, doing what I'd always done when things became too much." Magnus sighed, looking away from Alec. "That's all there is to it Alec. We kept in touch when our lives went different ways and that's it."

Alec nodded. "Thanks for telling me." He met Magnus's gaze, his blue eyes swirling.

"No problem. Now, all this talk about ex-boyfriends has been bitter sweet and lovely really, but I had different plans for today."

Alec raised an eyebrow in questioning. "Really? And what exactly did you have planned?"

Magnus grinned, standing up to cross the room over to Alec. "Well, it involves spending the whole day alone with you." Magnus stopped in front of Alec, placing his body over top of his as he pushed him back onto the bed. He placed his hands to the side of Alec's head, pinning him against the sheets as he moved his mouth to the boy's neck. He placed a soft kiss to the edge of Alec's collarbone, moving slowly up it, teasing Alec's skin with his tongue. "I was thinking we could watch a movie, talk, lay here doing this, and go out for dinner. And at some point in the day I plan on getting you naked, sweaty, and begging underneath me." Magnus grinned at the impromptu blush that swept over Alec's face. He moved his lips to Alec's, nipping his lower lip with his teeth, before placing a long deep kiss to his mouth. Everything slipped away in this moment. All thoughts of William washed away as did every fear that had been plaguing him for the last few days. Alec made it so easy to just leave the world behind, and Magnus had never felt as at peace as in these moments with Alec.

Magnus pulled away slowly, meeting Alec's gaze. "Does that sound like a good idea to you?"

"Everything but the naked part," Alec replied innocently.

Magnus laughed. "Oh, baby. You will give in to me. I promise you will be naked by the end of the day."

"That's a big promise."

"I don't make promises I can't keep."

Before Alec could complain anymore, Magnus had moved back to his lips. Alec would be naked by the end of the day, he could guarantee that. So he was horny and wanted his boyfriend, so sue him. It had been too long since he'd been able to properly be with Alec. Sneaking moments while with Alec's family had been fun, but it didn't hold the same power to him as just being with Alec, alone, with no interruptions. Magnus was a sexual being, he wasn't afraid to admit that, which also meant he wasn't afraid to admit how damn bad he wanted to take Alec. He could hope that would be today, but he wasn't crossing any fingers. One day. It was all just a waiting game, but this he wasn't going to push Alec into.

Magnus moved one of his hands to Alec's side, slipping his hand underneath his t-shirt, sliding his hand over the muscles of Alec's side. He felt Alec shiver beneath him, causing a smile to cross Magnus' lips. He loved each movement and sound that he could elicit from Alec. He loved knowing he was making the boy happy and he savoured each and every reaction from Alec's body.

Magnus pushed his body closer against Alec's, brushing his hips over Alec's, eliciting a soft moan from him. Yeah, he could definitely do this all day. He could do this the rest of his life. Just Alec and him. No outside interference. No fears. No worries. Nothing. Just the two of them and what they felt for each other. Magnus never thought he'd have anyone even half like Alec and he never thought he would love anyone to any extent of how he loved him. His mother had always told him that someone was waiting for him out there, that he would find that someone who he couldn't imagine life without. Back then, he thought she was just being his typical mother, spouting optimistic life lessons, but now he realized, like everything else she said, that she was right. Alec was that someone. Alec had been waiting for him and, by coincidence, they had chosen the same tree to sit at one day, they had the same classes, and by a weird turn of events, Alec had asked him to room with him. That was the start of all; the wheel that started the events that would forever change Magnus' life.

"I'm sorry Alec, but I have to disagree. Jack Sparrow is so much better than Will. Will, just to put it bluntly, is a hideously poor excuse for a pirate who serves no purpose in this movie other then to screw everything up. We all know Jack is the only one that matters."

"Jack is just a drunk man who was mutinied by his own crew which clearly expresses that he is a poor excuse for a pirate. All Jack wants is his ship and the man is entirely selfish. Will, on the other hand, loved Elizabeth and was willing to do anything for her. He even continued to love her after everything they went through and he can only see her every 10 years. I'm sorry Magnus, but Will is a completely better character than Jack."

"Nope. Jack's better. He's kick ass Alec, it's as simple as that. Plus, look at that. The things I would do to that man."

"Magnus!"

"Hey, a man's allowed to dream! I saw you ogling Will over there so don't you try to act all cute and innocent. Now, we are all entitled to our little fantasies, so at least let me have this one."

Alec groaned. "Fine, let's just agree to disagree." Alec sat up, turning off the TV.

"For now. I'll convince you of Jack Sparrow's awesomeness soon enough."

Alec looked back at Magnus. "I highly doubt that Magnus. So, what movie do you want to watch next, or do you want to do something else?"

Magnus grinned. "You know what I want to do."

Alec blushed slightly. "Magnus..."

Magnus slipped his hand playfully up Alec's shirt only to have it swatted away just as quickly. He frowned, meeting Alec's gaze. "You can't keep this up forever baby. Just like with your opinion of Jack, you will give in eventually." He traced his fingers softly down Alec's thigh, feeling the boy shiver beneath him. He slipped his hand to the inside of Alec's thigh only to have Alec's hand grab his to stop him.

"Magnus." Magnus could hear the wavering in Alec's voice. Alec liked to keep up his little game but it was easy to crack as anything. Alec liked to feign innocence, but he wasn't innocent anymore. He'd given into Magnus a few times before, so this time was no different than the last ones. It wasn't like he was just pushing Alec into being more sexual than usual. He knew how to read his boyfriend and he knew when Alec wanted something but was too afraid to make the move. So Magnus made it for him and he was perfectly okay with that.

Magnus leaned forward, this time brushing his other hand up Alec's thigh to rest just on the skin above the band of Alec's jeans. He moved his mouth to Alec's ear, whispering softly. "How about a hot, steamy shower? Me, you, and nothing in between us." He moved his hand to cup Alec beneath his jeans, squeezing as he nipped Alec's ear with his teeth. "What do you think?"

"Sounds...good." Alec was breathless and blushing, but Magnus was even more turned on by it. It was simple little responses like that that Magnus loved to get from Alec.

Magnus smiled, grabbing Alec's hand and pulling him up off the couch after him. He led Alec into the bathroom, shutting the door behind them with his foot. He pushed Alec against the door, crashing his lips to Alec's. His hands moved to Alec's hips, pulling him closer, rolling his hips forward to brush their growing erections together. Alec moaned against him as he slipped his hands underneath Alec's shirt. He ripped the shirt over Alec's head, his need to have the layers between them gone increasing with every second. The shirt fell discarded to the floor as Magnus' hands moved to Alec's bare skin. He loved the bare feel of Alec beneath him and he couldn't help but smile at himself for having finally gotten Alec to give in.

Magnus moved his tongue across the line of Alec's lips before sliding it into his mouth. Alec's hands came to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up over Magnus' shoulders as he discarded it alongside his own shirt.

Magnus pulled away, backing up towards the shower. He turned the faucet on hot, before looking back at Alec. He cocked an eyebrow at him before crooking a finger for Alec to come closer. Alec bit his lip before taking the few steps towards Magnus. Magnus closed the distance quickly by hooking a finger in Alec's belt loop and pulling him flush against him. He grinned, cocking an eyebrow in time with Alec's sudden look of surprise. He brushed his hips against Alec, a fire lighting within him, exciting every inch of his body. He wanted Alec, every single part of him. He'd never met somebody like this, somebody that he couldn't seem to quit. The pull towards Alec, the raw, undeniable need to have him, was exhilarating. People said perfection didn't exist, but Magnus could name a few perfect things and they all centred around the man that was all his.

Alec moved his hands to Magnus pants, undoing the button and zipper before sliding his jeans off his hips and onto the ground. The steam from the shower started to fill the room, forming a warm, slick layer of moisture on their skin, mixing with the sweat that their heated exchange had already created. Magnus moved to Alec's pants, undoing them effortlessly and letting them and his boxers fall to the floor. Alec's erection sprung free and Magnus welcomed the absence of clothes between them. He moved his hands down Alec's sides to his ass. He squeezed, pulling their hips against each other as his tongue worked the inside of Alec's mouth. He took a few steps back, pulling Alec with him into the shower.

"Fuck!" Alec cringed beneath Magnus' hands as the hot water poured down on their skin, sparking Magnus' nerves with even more intensity. Magnus laughed, turning the water down slightly, as he pulled Alec into the corner, out of the spray of the showerhead.

Magnus smiled, brushing strands of wet hair from Alec's face. He looked down at Alec, the boy's baby blue eyes now an intense deep shade of blue that Magnus found himself getting lost in. It was so easy. Magnus could just stand there forever, the water pounding on his already scorching skin and the man he loved beneath his hands.

"Well, baby, if you insist."

Alec rolled his eyes at Magnus' comment. "Is there anything you say that isn't dirty?"

"I love you," Magnus replied innocently, shrugging.

Alec rolled his eyes. "Really, is that so?" Alec moved his body closer to Magnus', closing the already small distance between them.

Magnus nodded. "I love you." Magnus kissed Alec's lips. "I love you here." He kissed Alec's collarbone. "And here." He moved lower, leaving a trail of light kisses down Alec's chest. "And here." He traced his fingers lightly up the inside of Alec's thigh. "And right here." He flicked out his tongue to lick the head of Alec's hard cock. The boy shivered beneath him, his hips bucking slightly in front of Magnus, asking for more. Magnus grinned, as he descended on Alec's cock, revelling in the moan of pleasure that passed Alec's lips. Alec's hands wound themselves in Magnus' hair, pulling him down further. Magnus took Alec to the base, allowing Alec's hands to lead him wherever he wanted. His hand moved up to caress his balls, squeezing them softly in his hand. Magnus revelled in the moan that escaped Alec's lips.

"Jesus...Magnus...wait," Alec said breathlessly.

Magnus looked up at Alec, confused. Wait, what? Magnus pulled back, meeting Alec's gaze. Why was he saying wait? Was he crazy? Magnus was as hard as a rock and Alec rivalled his state. It didn't help that Alec's current state was just feeding into Magnus' dirty and hormonal mind. Alec was wet and naked, laid bare for Magnus' hands and all he wanted to do was pleasure and ravish Alec every minute that he could. It was hard enough keeping his hands off Alec so when he was presented with situations like this he didn't exactly like to hold back.

Alec placed a hand to Magnus' chin, making him stand up. They met gazes and in Alec's eyes, he knew exactly why Alec had said to wait.

"I...I'm ready." Alec blushed softly and Magnus couldn't help but smile. This day honestly couldn't get any better.

"Are you sure?" God, please tell me he's sure.

Alec nodded, biting his lip as he normally did when he was nervous. Magnus could see how nervous he was, could feel it in the rigidity of Alec's muscles beneath his hands. Magnus massaged his hands down Alec's arms. He met his gaze, hoping that not saying anything and being there was enough reassurance for him. This was the moment Magnus had been waiting for. It wasn't sex, but it was Alec taking a massive step in a good but completely different direction than Alec was used to. It made Magnus happy to know that Alec was growing more comfortable with these moments, and comfortable enough to do it himself.

...

To be honest, Alec was scared out of his mind. He didn't know what he was doing, and even what he did do, he wasn't sure if was going to be right. What if he made a mistake? What if Magnus didn't like it? Alec wanted to do this but it was completely out of his comfort zone. He wanted Magnus, there was no denying that, but he was scared.

Alec met Magnus' gaze, catching the reassuring look in his eyes that told him that it was okay. Magnus had said once that it was all about doing what felt right. Alec took a deep breath, before capturing Magnus' lips with his own. His hands moved to Magnus' back, pulling them closer together. Alec could almost feel the electricity between them, lighting with the need in both of their bodies. He didn't know why he hadn't taken Magnus earlier. He had wanted to, God had he wanted to, but he hadn't. But now he had a chance to pleasure Magnus as Magnus had pleasured him, and he was going to take it.

Alec moved his lips to Magnus' chest, kissing down it slowly, before getting on his knees in front of him. Alec caught the look of lust that flickered in the lines of Magnus' eyes, his face falling into a look of pleasure.

The water fell on Alec's back, burning his already scorching skin. He ignored the water, his focus on giving Magnus everything Magnus had given him. He knew he could do it; he just had to believe he could.

Alec darted out his tongue, swirling it around the head of Magnus's cock. Magnus shivered beneath him as Alec wrapped his lips around him, taking him into his mouth. The rush of complete ecstasy running through him was overwhelming. Everything in the moment just seemed to click. Alec felt like he was drowning, not in the scorching water, but in each and every emotion he felt for Magnus. He never wanted to pull away, not when everything here just felt right.

Alec took Magnus deeper, getting about half way before Magnus hit the back of his throat. He couldn't get the rest to fit. Alec pulled off, grazing his teeth on Magnus' head, his jaw aching from opening so wide. Magnus moaned and bucked beneath him as he pulled away. Alec looked up at Magnus who looked disappointed. He knew it. He knew he was going to mess up.

"Again, baby," he said softly. Magnus' eyes slid shut softly as his body responded in ecstasy. Alec looked away from his boyfriend before taking his length once again to the back of his throat. He pulled back slightly, grazing his teeth along the whole thing as Magnus' hands went to his hair. His fingers entwined there, leading Alec up and down softly.

"Alec... fuck!"

Alec continued this a few more times, but he needed help with the next part. He just couldn't take all of Magnus and he knew Magnus had done it with him, but he'd admit he just didn't know how. He looked up at Magnus before he planned to pull off.

"Just change the angle baby," he said breathlessly, his body shivering beneath Alec's hands.

Change the angle. Okay. He met Magnus' reassuring green eyes and, with the slight help of Magnus guiding him, he leaned his head forward, taking Magnus inch by inch down his throat. He took Magnus to the base, letting his muscles adjust to the thickness of the man. The feeling was foreign, and his throat protested the situation, but Alec didn't care. It might have felt different, but it was the kind of different that you welcomed with open arms. Alec felt like he was flying, the whole world a speck beneath him as he finally let go and followed his heart.

"Alec..." Alec couldn't hear what else Magnus said, his words an incoherent mess to Alec's ears. But the sound of his name escaping that velvet voice like that turned Alec on even more. He came up, letting his tongue lick the head.

"More baby. Don't stop." Alec could see the need in Magnus' eyes, begging for more, asking Alec for everything. His hands guided Alec back, but it wasn't forceful, just simply showing Alec exactly where Magnus wanted him. Alec tightened his cheeks around Magnus' cock, continuing to work it up and down as he elicited coherent and incoherent words from Magnus. The fire that burned within him was beautiful, his need for Magnus blinding. He never thought this could feel this good; it felt perfect. Giving this to Magnus was like giving another part of himself to him while also returning a favour that was due long ago.

Alec felt Magnus weaken beneath him, his hand moving to the shower wall above Alec's head to keep support. His other hand remained in its customary spot, entwined in Alec's hair. The water fell around them, steam blocking Alec's view. But he could still see the yellow-green of those eyes he'd come to know so well. They were alight with pleasure, pleading at Alec for more.

"Alec, I'm going to..." The rest was lost, but Alec got the point.

Magnus' hips bucked beneath him as he came, hot liquid shooting down Alec's throat. Alec swallowed, tightening his muscles around Magnus' dick as he took the liquid down. He came up, falling back on his heels as he looked up at Magnus. He wasn't sure about Magnus, but that had been exhilarating for him. His own erection was harder than it had ever been at that moment, his whole body turned on by the man above him.

Magnus was shaking, his breath laboured. His eyes were closed but his face was content, a picture of perfect bliss. Alec smiled, he guessed that meant he hadn't done too bad.

Magnus' eyes slipped open as they looked down at Alec. Happiness swirled in the deep yellow-green of his eyes.

"Was that okay?" Alec asked innocently, biting his lip.

Magnus smiled, a slight laugh escaping his lips. He moved his hand to take Alec's, pulling him up to stand next to him. He placed a soft kiss to Alec's lips, pulling away quickly as he was still searching for breath. "That...was perfect." He smiled, moving his hands to wrap around Alec, pulling him flush against him.

"Yeah?"

"God, yes." His eyes slipped shut and Alec could feel him shiver beneath him. Their foreheads met, both their eyes shut as they took in the beauty of the moment. Alec felt himself melt into Magnus, like the final piece of a puzzle was being put in place. "And here I thought you'd be the one naked beneath me."

Alec laughed. "I guess you had to break your promise."

"I guess I did."

They both smiled, their lips meeting as they let the water run down their backs. It was starting to go cold but nothing was dulling the burn of the fire within him. Steps. They were so beautiful. They were hard to take, but the feeling you got when you took one was like nothing else. This was a good step. An exhilarating, satisfactory step that Alec would take again in an instant.

Magnus and Alec lay on the bed, Magnus' arm draped across Alec's side. They held each other close, laying there in comfortable silence. But as comfortable as it was, Magnus couldn't bring himself to enjoy it. His mind kept cycling back to the same thought he had been having that morning. It was nagging at him, breaking apart the peace that normally accompanied being with Alec. Magnus hated it. He didn't want to be thinking these things or feeling this way. But he was, and he figured now was as good a time as any to bring up the elephant in the room. Or at least, the big purple elephant in Magnus' room.

"Alec?"

"Yeah Magnus?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah. What is it?"

"When do you think you'll be ready to go public?"

Magnus felt Alec stiffen beside him. He knew Alec didn't really want to talk about it but what was Magnus to do? He couldn't just ignore it forever like Alec did. Things between them were perfect, and days like these expressed to Magnus just how perfect things were and how much better they could be, which was why he had to say something. Magnus knew from experience that no matter how perfect something seemed, you had to face reality eventually. All dreams had their end and you had to wake up sooner or later.

"Soon Magnus. Soon."

"How soon is soon?"

Alec turned over to look at Magnus. "Magnus we've talked about this. I'm just not ready yet."

"I know. But can't you give me something? I thought that after coming out to your parents you'd be able to come out to everyone else."

"Yeah, but not now. I'm not ready. I thought you understood that?"

Magnus sighed. "I do understand Alec. I've understood since the beginning. It's just… it's hard. I know you have the strength to do it, I've seen you do it; and believe me, telling your parents is the hardest part. It's not as hard as you think."

Alec sighed, sitting up with his back to Magnus. "Magnus, please I don't want to talk about this right now."

"You never want to talk about it Alec. Every time I bring it up you make up an excuse to not talk about it. I get it. You think if you ignore it long enough, it'll just go away. But it doesn't. You have to do something about it eventually. You can't hide forever."

"Do you think I don't know that? And I will. I'm just scared Magnus. Don't you get that?" Alec looked back at Magnus, pain and sadness filling each line of his face.

"Of course I get it. If anyone gets it, it's me."

"Then why won't you just leave it be?" Alec snapped.

Magnus' gaze faltered as Alec's words hung in the air.

Alec sighed. "If you really get it then you'll understand why I can't do it." Alec paused, before looking back at Magnus. "You said you'd wait."

The sadness in Alec's eyes ripped through Magnus. He had said that, hadn't he? He felt so guilty bringing this up but he couldn't ignore it anymore. He wanted to be with Alec for a really long time, but he couldn't be with him that long in the closet. There was only so much one guy could take. They'd been together over 4 months, Alec had come out to his parents, and it just seemed right that Alec be able to do this. Honestly, Magnus almost felt like they were stuck in their relationship and they were going nowhere. It was like everything had reached this beautiful peak and now there was nothing but plateau in front of them. Magnus wasn't really complaining about the state of their relationship, just the condition of it. Magnus didn't think there was anything wrong in wanting Alec to come out. Anyone else in his position would feel the same way, right?

"I know. And I've been waiting, and I'll keep waiting for you to be ready. I just... I'll tell you honestly, it's hard Alec. I just want to scream it from the rooftops. I want to tell the world how much I love you, and it's so hard not being able to do that."

"Do you think I don't want to do it too?"

"I don't know, do you?" Their gazes met before Alec's faltered and he looked away, focusing on his hands, which were playing unconsciously with the hem of his shirt. Magnus sighed. "Alec, I just need to know how long I'm going to have to wait. How long until you're ready."

"I don't know Magnus." Alec stood up in frustration. "I don't know." He looked back at Magnus in defeat, his face fallen, sadness and frustration painting his features. "Please, just give me time. I know it's not what you want. I know it hurts you. But I just came out to my parents and I need some time to adjust to the thought of coming out to everyone else. I just got over the fear of having my family judge me so just give me some time before it's all out in the open and the rest of the world gets the chance to judge me too. Can't you just give me that time? I promise it won't take me forever; it just won't be today. I'm scared Magnus. You said you understood that."

Magnus watched Alec, feeling his heart fall in his chest. He hadn't wanted to cause that look on Alec's face. He hated knowing that Alec was feeling that way because of him. But he had to say something. Magnus wasn't the kind to just hold his tongue and not speak his mind. If he felt a certain way, he was going to say that. He wasn't going to hold back. The thing is, he knew Alec could do it. He knew he could come out to everyone else and he knew that there was a high chance everything would be okay. Yeah, things were tough in the world for people like them, he'd be lying to Alec if he told him it wasn't a scary place, but it wasn't always as bad as people thought. The hardest part was getting your parents to accept you and the people that cared for you the most. They're the ones that mattered, not the strangers on the street. That was Magnus' philosophy. He didn't give a shit what others thought because he was pretty damn happy as he was. He knew things were different for Alec, but he wanted to hope that things could be okay for him. Magnus didn't hate Alec for not being able to do it, he would never feel that way, he was just frustrated.

"I did." Magnus paused. "I'll wait."

"But not forever."

"As long as I need to."

Alright, there you go. I hope everyone liked it. Please review and let me know what you think, I'm almost to 300 reviews, which is crazy. Thanks to everyone who helped me get this far, it's amazing. Anyway, I'm off to write the next chapter now which by the way, is Valentine's Day so you're free to make your guesses on what happens between our two little lovebirds then. Anwyay, thanks for reading. Until next time.

Be the change,
Amber