I've had this chapter written for about a week now, and yet I just kept forgetting to type it up. This is going to be the last chapter of this fic, but it was twice the size of the other two chapters in my notebook to make up for that, and even bigger if you add in the two page epilogue. So, I'd like everyone that stuck with me while I was writing this, especially to those who reviewed and favourited. Because I really love favourites and reviews. Especially the latter. So, my dear readers, enjoy this final instalment, and pretty please review :3
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for the crazy doctor lady.
The Red Button Of Certain Doom: Chapter 3
Grell's long, luscious hair billowed in the wind, making him appear as graceful as ever as he perched on the rooftops.
Or, at least, it should have.
Grell frowned at his silhouette in front of him. Sebastian had insisted on tying his hair back, and the Reaper was not impressed.
'How dare he tamper with my good looks? I should be getting revenge for this! The things I could do to this body...' Grell thought, running his slender fingers along the surprisingly soft lips of his current body. There were a lot of things that could be done in a body like that.
"...Grell, are you even listening to me?"
The Reaper was rudely pulled from his thoughts, and just as he was getting to the good part.
"Sorry, Sebby, lost in the sound of my own voice, I suppose. What were you saying?" The demon rolled his eyes, beckoning for his companion to join him at the roof's edge.
"We need to get past those guards if we're going to let the doctor out."
"Well, I can't exactly flirt my way through in this body, so what do you suggest?"
"I need you to tell me how to summon your death scythe, I keep trying, but it just won't work," Sebastian explained, but Grell shook his head furiously.
"No way, darlin', if I can't have my death scythe, neither can you," he insisted.
"Grell, stop being so ridiculous! Do you want your own body back or not? I need it!"
"No can do, Sebas-chan. Besides, if Will ever found out I told you, or about any of this, I'd be demoted for sure. And worse still, I probably wouldn't even get any sexy time for the next week." Sebastian's left eye twitched slightly at the mention of William T. Spears. That was not a man that the demon wanted to think about right now, or ever for that matter, especially not coupled with the phrase "sexy time."
"Fine, fine. How do you suggest we get rid of them then?" Sebastian sighed, waiting for something extravagantly ridiculous.
"The old fashioned way, Sebby. Nothing better," Grell grinned, holding up a large rock. After all, ridiculous was what Grell did best.
Dr. Connell was bored out of her wits. During her brief stay in prison, she had not fallen in love with a handsome man, as Grell had predicted. In fact, she had yet to meet a handsome man at all. Her cell mate had just been so ugly when she arrived, and so she had taken her dinner tray and mangled his face with it. She had only been trying to help, yet they put her in solitary confinement for all her troubles.
The doctor's head snapped up at the sudden chaos of noise from the rest of the prison, her pale blonde curls obscuring her vision slightly. The other inmates were yelling and rattling the bars of their cells, and it sounded like the guards were nowhere to be found. Slowly, Dr. Connell moved towards the door of her cell, trying her best to find out what was going on.
"Well, hey there, Dr. Connell, how wonderful to see you. I love the hair by the way; the blood stains are a nice touch." The doctor jumped back, startled, as Grell appeared at the door, crimson eyes glowing and a manic grin in place.
"Thanks, I must say, I thought so myself. Do I know you?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at the new arrivals.
"No, you don't, but it seems we are in need of your assistance, doctor. We ran into some trouble in your basement, and one of your machines caused quite the mix up," Sebastian explained calmly as he unlocked her cell.
"And if I help you out, I go free, right?" Grell studied Sebastian, fully expecting him to say no. He was in for a little surprise.
"If it gets me out of this body, you can go anywhere you please."
"So, what did you do to all the guards?" Dr. Connell asked as the trio walked through London to get to her lab.
"Let's just say, they're having a nice, rock-induced, sleep, all cuddled up in rope," Grell giggled, checking out his reflection in a shop window. Sebastian swore he had even seen the Reaper grope his own ass every now and then. The demon wasn't even in his own body, and yet he still felt violated. Sebastian couldn't wait for the whole ordeal to end.
'Buzzzzz'
If Sebastian had been anybody else in that time period, he would have jumped out of his skin at the vibrating in his pocket, and then probably called the exorcist. But he was not anybody else, and he wasn't particularly fond of exorcists besides, and so instead, he calmly removed the offending object from his pocket, the small, flashing device that Grell called a 'phone'.
"Oooh, William! Sebas-chan, answer it for me!" Grell squealed, catching the demon red-handed before he could hide it.
"A-absolutely not, Grell! I refuse to speak to that perve- pretentious shinigami. You speak to him all you like when you give me my body back," Sebastian replied, a sigh of relief escaping as the phone finally stopped buzzing.
"Ten missed calls? Seriously? Wonder what's so important..." Grell mused, before Sebastian placed the phone back in his pocket. The demon had a good idea what William wanted, but needless to say, there was no way he was ever bringing up that incident.
"I don't know, let's just hurry, shall we?"
"Which machine was it that you used?" the doctor asked as they entered her basement.
"The one with the shiny, red button, the colour of blood," stated Grell, whereas Sebastian merely pointed.
"That one... Wait, you mean you two are in the wrong bodies? Really? Oh, wow, that means it actually works! I must record my miraculous... discovery..." she exclaimed, her excitement withering beneath the glares of the two immortals.
"Can you fix this, or not, Dr. Connell?"
"Nope, you've got to fix it yourselves. You need to learn to live in harmony, and only then will you... Oh, I'm joking, just let me adjust a few things."
"At least things will be back to normal soon, eh, Sebas-chan?" Grell chirped, wrapping his arms around the demon.
"Thankfully. This has been the longest day of my existence. And please, remove your hands from my person."
"Y'know... Technically, it's my person..."
Sebastian found himself thanking every higher being he knew of, that before Grell could finish his sentence, he was cut off by the same blinding light that had started it all.
The first thing Grell noticed when he woke up was the red hair invading his vision. He grinned happily, running his tongue lightly over his shark-like teeth.
"Sebby! Ooh, I'm back to normal, I'm me again, isn't it fabulous!" he squealed, jumping onto his companion. Sebastian sighed dramatically, pushing the Reaper to the ground, but there was no feeling in it. He was just glad to be himself again.
"Dr. Connell, thank you for your assistance. You go free, though I suggest you leave London as soon as possible. I do not wish to hear of you again. Grell... well, let's just go home, forget this happened, and never speak of it again."
Epilogue
"Oh, William... Will? Sorry I didn't call you back, I've just had the strangest of d- Oh, my word, William! What happened to your handsome face?" Grell screeched at the sight of his lover. William was sat at his desk, an ice-pack held over his head, nursing a large bump and a black eye.
"You happened, Sutcliff, when you punched me in the face!" he snapped, glaring at the red-head.
"Will, what are you talking about, I would never... Oh... What were you doing when that happened, darling?"
"Foolishly, I was trying to kiss you, Sutcliff. I suppose that was my first mistake." Grell's eyes widened as he realised exactly why Sebastian had punched the love of his life. And then after thinking about it for a moment, he really wasn't sure whether to be jealous or just plain turned on at the thought of the two of them together. And then he realised, that if he wanted to keep what little sanity he had left, he had better not dwell on it.
"Sorry about that, love, I thought I was getting a cold sore, didn't want you to catch it," Grell lied, kissing the uninjured side of William's face. "Allow me to make it up to you," he promised, moving to massage his lover's shoulders. Sebastian had a lot of explaining to do.
Meanwhile Sebastian was reminded of the position he had left his Master in earlier that evening. The young Earl was tangled in a pile of night clothes, hair a mess, eye patch askew. It was at times like that, even Sebastian had to resort to a facepalm.
"Sebastian, you idiot, where have you been? You know I can't manage buttons. Get me ready for bed this instant!" he snapped, somehow maintaining a shred of dignity.
"Yes, my Lord."
The End.