Creating Crazy Claire

1. Introduce yourself to her as Amelie's personal assistant; make sure to dress appropriately (flats/heels, slacks, etc.) and tell Claire that you're here to shadow her for the day.

2. Ask to see her phone because you aren't sure she got Amelie's last few calls. Make it ring and pick up. Have a one-sided conversation with yourself and pretend to be talking to Myrnin. "Hi, Myrnin— Oh? She is?" Look confused. "She doesn't look like one to me." Look Claire up and down. "Amelie thinks so too? Cocaine? No! Well, I'll tell her anyway." Give back the phone and remain silent. When she asks what happened, say, "Oh, nothing."

3. Tell her you saw Oliver watching her creepily last time she visited Common Grounds.

4. Tell her Amelie doesn't like the way she dresses.

5. Throughout the day, make comments like, "Amelie's got a plan for you," and, "Don't you worry about your future, Claire, Amelie's got it all planned out," or, "Be careful, if you drink too much coffee, the Founder might not want you to become a— Oops, I've said too much."

6. Ask her why the only exercise she gets is running from vampires.

7. Insinuate she cheats in school and that's how she gets such good grades.

8. Bring a clipboard with you and follow her around, taking notes. Never tell her what they're about and don't let her see them. While watching her, every so often, shake your head condemningly and tsk-tsk while jotting down something.

9. Replace all of her clothes with Eve's.

10. Pick up your phone every five minutes and pretend to talk to Amelie saying, "Oh, she's fine. Well, there is this one little thing I'll talk to you later about. Don't worry, I've got everything under control."

11. Make her feel young by talking to her condescendingly. (i.e., "Oh, Claire, you didn't know that?")

12. Tell her Amelie doesn't like her hair.

13. Replace all of the Coke in the house with Pepsi.

14. If she gets fed up with you, just shake your head and write down some more notes on your clipboard, muttering, "Temper, temper. Amelie always said she needed to work on that…"

15. Say "YOLO" a bunch of times. When she gets mad at you for saying it, mumble it under your breath just loud enough for her to hear you.

16. Criticize her favorite movies. (i.e., "The ending was so unrealistic and Amelie thought so too.")

17. Offer to buy her some conditioner for her "dry ends."

18. Talk about how vampires are always trying to kill her and she must really taste good and it must be annoying because Amelie's certainly always annoyed when Claire gets herself in a little fix.

19. Offer to make her tea whenever something bad happens. (i.e., "Oh, you lost your necklace? I'll put on some water for tea." "Oh dear, you chipped a nail? There's some hot water on the stove if you want me to make you some tea." "Myrnin tried to kill you again? Want some tea?"

20. Flirt with Shane.