.a/n VERY late once again, I know. Nothing else to say but sorry and enjoy ;3
Chapter 4. Silence
Katniss
That journey to the Justice building felt like years. I could feel Haymitch's clammy hand, grasping onto mine. I'd disturbed the atmosphere of the cab, Effie was glaring at me suspiciously, and Peeta was purely confused. I didn't even have to look at him to know he was. I was confused. What was going on here? It was obviously just a symbol of friendship – sympathy. Or was it? It was hard to tell.
Haymitch can be very unpredictable.
When we finally did arrive at the Justice Building, I already felt worn out. I finally released my fingers from Haymitch, receiving a dubious 'eye flicker' from him in response. We were shown into our rooms with a warning of one hour until the opening dinner. Then I was alone again. I began to wander aimlessly around the room. It was a bit plain – polished floor boards, yellow walls and a brass bed with plumped pillows. It felt old and disused. I felt the same. I found myself collapsing on my bed, I had nothing better to do. I gazed up at the ceiling, puzzling, wondering, dreaming. Peeta was there. I could feel him. I sat up slowly, he was hovering by the door. He had an apprehensive look among his features – as if I was about to lash out like a wildcat. Maybe I was.
"Silence. It isn't the best way to communicate ones thoughts." My voice stung the peace like a wasp.
"Unless ones thoughts are as demanding and hurtful as mine. Then sometimes, silence is." He responded quietly. As I took a moment to ponder his reply, he glided over to my dresser and began to trace the carving of the worn wood. I watched him for a while, unsure of how to avoid this inescapable topic. I felt the heat of the stress rising and rising until I stood up.
"Why must I always be…interrogated? About everything? I can do what I want, I have a life – friends." I exploded – secretly emphasising on the word friends. Peeta, of course, had known my eruption was coming yet he didn't flinch or twitch, he just continued tracing the carving.
"Friends." He murmured – experimenting with the word. He finally snapped out of his cool and breezed over to me.
"What even was that with Haymitch in the car? Was that some kind of sick joke?" He hissed. I glared up at him – anger boiling, why did he care so much?
"That was friendship, Peeta – something you obviously don't have. Haymitch did kind of save our lives, in case you had forgotten! What is it with you? You've changed so much since the games." He winced and for once he didn't disguise it. He sighed, the anger draining from him.
"I don't know Katniss. I guess it's the tour bringing back unwanted memories and it's just you. Your presence makes it unbearable – I know you can't help it, but it just hurts so much." He whispered, tears dewing in his eyes. He gently touched my cheek, before gliding out of the room. I felt stunned into misery. Everything was getting worse and worse and it was entirely my point.
By the time Cinna and his prep team had finished making me look 'magical' I was still feeling down-hearted. Cinna had dressed me up in this amazing midnight blue dress which flowed to the floor and had sequins sewn onto the body like stars. I gave him a quick hug and whispered.
"I don't know what to do." He nodded knowingly, although he had no idea of what was going on. When it was time to go to the dining hall of the main dinner, I was feeling jumpy. I had so many worries crammed into my mind, Peeta, Haymitch, President Snow, Rue's family, the other tribute's families. Effie met me at the door in a crazy orange number. She wasn't as peppy as usual, but she was trying to disguise it. We were a met by a tall, mournful, looking man called Mayor Thomas. He introduced himself quietly, nodding vaguely in my direction before hurrying off muttering.
"What's his problem?" I questioned, nudging Effie. She rubbed her ribs, glaring.
"How should I know? Come along Katniss lets go meet Peeta and Haymitch." I pretended not to notice her emphasis on his name.
Peeta was wearing a pale grey waistcoat tux and Haymitch was in a dark black suit. We nodded stiffly at each other and I caught Haymitch's eye before we entered the noisy hall. There was a big banquet, but you could tell they had scavenged the lands for a feast of this proportion. We weren't stupid. We'd all seen the hungry people working hard as we'd entered the district and this feast wasn't a fraction in comparison to the foods the Capitol produced. But the people in attendance had huge, foolish grins on their faces, and everyone jostled about, making conversation. Every time someone spoke to you, you could see their sufferance and pain, you could feel the coldness of their emotion in each conversation. Thankfully Rue and Thresh's families weren't here today, but we would have to brave them tomorrow. Haymitch squeezed my arm encouragingly half way through. Electricity pounded through my veins.
"How are you doing?" He whispered discreetly, smiling around at passers-by.
"Fantastically." I murmured sarcastically. His face layered with concern, but I decided to ignore him and I went to talk to the mayor.
"So how are things in district 11, Mr Thomas?" I began shakily, still recovering from Haymitch's touch.
"Please call me Fred, Katniss. Things are… amiable. The people work hard, and scrape by, just. But it's tough. I suppose you would know - I've heard district 12 isn't the easiest of places to live." I listened intently; it was rare to receive any information of other districts, so any source of information was always vital and useful to know.
"Your right, it is difficult. Not everyone 'scrapes by'" I replied, whispering at the end. Spies from the Capitol were probably skulking around, and the camera crew. I couldn't get even further on the wrong side of President Snow. He looked around and leaned in closer to me.
"I wasn't being truthful, Katniss. Not everyone scrapes by. In fact practically no one does. I have no idea what to do. We're losing hundreds a day – and not just to hunger." He hissed.
"Peace keepers." I finished for him, anger boiling inside of me.
"We're lucky in district 12, we have kind ones. I didn't know you had it so badly here!" He nodded, lowering his head.
"And they're getting worse. Increasingly worse. Ever since Snow has mentioned these…" He hesitated, looking around once more. "Uprisings."He barely said the word, he was so afraid of being caught. " – they've been increasing the punishment rates…severely. I don't know what to do Katniss, you have to help us!" His whispers began to sound more panicky.
"Peeta and I, we're trying to fix this, we truly are. But it's not very easy Mr… Fred. But we'll sort it somehow. I promise."
Promises are sometimes agonisingly difficult to for fill. But I was going to keep this one, even if it killed me. Literally.
I was curled up in bed, in the dark. Before the games, I'd adored sleep, it was so numbing – stress free. Now I dread it. Reliving every moment, vividly, of the games every night – was not fun. Yet I had to sleep, no matter how much I despised it, it provides one great thing – strength. And one lesson I'd learned during the games that strength isn't just a necessity, it's essential. I began to toss around, tangling the old sheets up into a knot. I felt so alone, unsure. Suddenly, there was a creak and the door was eased open. Panicking, I squeezed my eyes shut, praying for it to be my imagination. I felt the old bed groan in protest as someone slipped in, thank goodness I was wearing my pyjamas! There was a long silence, and just when I was about to let out a scream he spoke.
"Do you still get the nightmares? I do." He murmured softly. Haymitch. Haymitch! Haymitch was in my bed! Without opening my eyes, I whispered.
"What are you doing here?" I was trying my hardest to keep calm, but it was incredibly difficult.
"I had to know. I know Peeta does, he told me. I hear you scream, but I had to know if it was about the games." This was the craziest situation in the world, yet I felt relaxed… What's wrong with me? I rolled over and locked my eyes with his.
"Of course I do. It's an inescapable factor of being a tribute, right?" He watched me, his eyes glistening.
"Right." He confirmed. "But why is everything else, so - so wrong?" He mumbled. I doubted this was the same subject about being a tribute, but I didn't dare question it.
"You can't change fate Haymitch. It's impossible." I closed my eyes tight, not wanting to see his reaction. "But you can change your feelings. If you try very hard." I heard a sharp intake of breath from his direction. There was a short silence before he responded.
"Are you trying, Katniss?" I could barely pick out the words, he was so quiet.
"I don't even have to. My feelings have always belonged to one person, yet I barely even knew until now." I opened my eyes to see tears slipping down Haymitch's cheeks. He began to edge closer and closer to me. My heart started hammering, it was like a drum roll in a parade. Slowly but surely, we closed the gap between our lips, and we kissed.
It wasn't like kissing Gale, that didn't feel real enough.
It wasn't like kissing Peeta, that didn't feel right.
But kissing Haymitch was so real and so right; it was as if I was being brought back to life from death.
It was sensational.
a/n Wow! They finally kissed…yay? So sorry I take so long to update, but at least this was a reasonably long chapter. Will TRY to update ASAP, but no promises xD
~Verity~