A/N: Hey guys. First things first- I am REALLY sorry for not posting the new chapter of Back in the Black Bayou on Tuesday like I promised, and the reason why I'm only posting Saving Me today is because my life is in a chaotic upheaval right now and shit needs to calm down... Again, I apologize for not posting all the other chapters if you are a reader who is following all my other ongoing stories as well. Hopefully things will begin to calm down and I will be able to get back into the daily grind. I think that I just need a few days off or something... Can't promise new chapters next Saturday- but I can promise I'll try to update by then. If you're lucky, and I get out of my weirdo funk, you'll get an early chapter posting as an "I'm sorry, readers!" gift.

My apologies once more. If you have any questions, let me know. If you have any complaints about the information given, also let me know.

Thanks for those of you who are reading 3

Happy reading, happy writing

~Konfessionist out!~

(P.S.: Also, check out my profile. Soon I'm going to pull up a list of any and ALL fanfictions I wish to write- oneshot or otherwise. Why don't you look up whether or not I'm gonna do something you'd be interested in? :D)

Chapter Fourteen: Secrets

Day Three

"Th- Thanks, Bryan." Janny murmured from the spot on her bed where she sat cross-legged, fiddling with her Pip-Boy in her lap. "I'm sorry I made such a mess..."

"No problem," Bryan replied from his knelt position on the floor, sweeping up the shards of glass into his dustpan with a brush. "It's not the worst thing I've had to clean up in this place!"

She chuckled with him, brushing her hair back with a trembling hand and long, quivering fingers. She looked restless and unnerved- disturbed and otherwise giving off a sense of frustration. Everyone who was in the hallway at the time had heard that she and Harkness had gotten into a very heated argument. Some people said that the two were having a lover's spat when it got too far and Janny broke the mirror, causing Harkness to storm out. Others said the two were having a lover's spat when Harkness broke the mirror out of anger and stormed out. And more Rivet City settlers said that it was just two lover's getting hot and heavy when the mirror broke.

Either way, every scenario Bryan heard had something to do with two lovers. He knew better than to believe the things that fly down the halls of Rivet City- the people had mouths as big as the ship, and they weren't afraid to show it off, either, as if it were something to be proud of. Bryan knew the best way to clear the whole thing up was by asking, but the moment she closed the door and he saw how mortified she was, he couldn't help but feel a deep ache blossom in his chest, and all his intentions of asking flew out the nearest porthole no sooner than he could blink.

Bryan didn't want to hurt her anymore than whatever damage was done between her and Harkness in their argument, so he quickly finished cleaning up and got to his feet with a slight groan, rolling the stiffness from his neck and upper back from having to hunch over.

"Well, that should be it for all the big pieces. I'm gonna go back to the hotel and get a rag- just a quick wipe down to get all the smaller..." His voice trailed off as he stared down at Janny's shaking form. She looked so upset and detached- like she wasn't even here, with him.

"...Pieces." He finished quietly, and her head snapped up to him as she offered a halfhearted attempt at a smile.

"I- I'm sorry, what did you say?" She rubbed her eyes as if she were tired. "I spaced out... Thinking too much," She explained quietly.

Bryan gave her a quick look over, finding no fresh wounds or cuts other than the ones that she had received earlier that day in the bow. Just because she wasn't hurt physically, didn't mean that she wasn't hurt emotionally.

"Did he hurt 'ya, Janny?" He asked in a low voice. She immediately shook her head.

"No, he didn't hit me or anything..."

"I mean did he say something that hurt your feelings," He explained, putting the dustpan and brush down on her desk and walked to where she sat on the edge of the bed. "Did he say something hurtful?"

She chuckled a little at his question as if it was absurd and she rubbed her eyes again, shaking her head once more.

"No. I just don't like getting into arguments like that with friends, is all." Janny answered, looking up at him with that usually kind smile looking fractured and gloomy.

"Is that really all?" Bryan murmured quietly, sitting down on the bed at her side, causing it to bow so she became closer to him. "You just look really upset."

"Are you worried about me, Bryan?..." She asked in a quiet tone, quivering like frayed silk, and the faint phantom of a genuine smile passed over her full lips.

"Of course I'm worried…" He replied, smiling down at her a little. He wanted to rub her back, and tell her that it would be okay and that she was safe. With him.

Bryan immediately felt like a little boy with a crush on his teacher, and when Janny looked up at him, he could feel his heart racing in his chest- right then and there, he wanted to do nothing more than melt into her welcoming arms, like he did when he was younger… Like he did when he needed her all those years ago when he was frightened and very much alone.

But did he still need her now? Now that he was eighteen years old and he didn't have any monsters for her to get rid of for him? Did she need him? Did she ever need him?

Was she ever frightened and alone like he was?...

Janny sighed again, breaking his thoughts and she ran her fingers through her hair, still staring up at him with those bright, wide eyes and that luscious smile that sent a shiver down his spine.

"Bryan…" She murmured, brushing a strand of hair out of his eyes, and she smiled more. "I still can't believe that you're all grown up now. It feels so strange, coming back and expecting a little boy to only be greeted by a fully grown man." She laughed sadly.

The statement only reminded him that she was quite a bit older than he was- that whatever he felt for her (as confusing as it was) was wrong, and it only made him feel like a little boy with a broken heart as his beautiful teacher went gallivanting off with a man her age- the way it was supposed to be.

Maybe the gossipers in the hall were right, and she was with Harkness, and she probably didn't want to tell him because she knew it would hurt him… Maybe that was the way it was supposed to be.

Someone her age… His mind echoed sadly.

"I- I should fi-finish..." His voice trailed off as he stared into her eyes, momentarily getting lost in their blue haze and he cleared his throat. "My- My job…"

"Right," Janny continued to smile sadly, leaning away from him as he got up. "You know where I'll be."

"Ye- Yeah…" Bryan murmured as he grabbed the dustpan and brush and forced himself to calmly walk out of the room rather than dart out like his legs wanted to do. Once outside he breathed in deeply, trying to stifle the cries of his aching heart as he entered the Weatherly Hotel.

"How bad is the damage, Bryan?" Aunt Vera asked as she looked up from her place behind the terminal as he dumped the glass into a nearby trash bin.

"Can't fix the mirror, but the frame is just fine. We can see 'bout someone replacing the glass." He answered as he put the dustpan and brush away in the back room, returning with a rag. "Want me to bring back the frame so you can look at it?"

"Yeah," She smiled playfully. "Maybe with Seagrave's old toolbox I can fix it up myself, huh?"

"Was there anything… Peculiar, in the toolbox? Like a letter, or a key? Anything that shouldn't be in a toolbox?"

Janny's words echoed into his mind from earlier that day. Come to think of it, Janny had been really specific about the whole thing- asking about a letter or key or whatever… He wouldn't have thought twice about it if Aunt Vera hadn't found a key in it in the first place. The question was a little strange, but it seemed that she was looking for keys from Seagrave or something…

"Uhm- Aunt Vera?" He asked, stopping at the side of the lobby desk, still holding the dry rag in both of his hands. "Do you remember the key we found in the toolbox we got at Seagrave's auction?"

"Mhmm," She nodded, raising an eyebrow at him curiously. "Why do you ask?"

"Well…" He tried thinking of a good reason- a lie, more specifically. He couldn't flat out say it was for Janny, his aunt would get suspicious.

"Well… what?" She asked with a slight smile.

"I- I found this box," He replied quickly, kicking himself for not thinking of a better lie. "It's locked, and I'm hoping the key might open it."

"Oh really now?" She laughed. "My, my, even when you were younger you were curious about the smallest things! If you wanna ask for permission to borrow it, you don't need to." She turned back to the work on her terminal, nimble fingers working at the clacking keyboard. "You know where the toolbox is."

Bryan nodded, quickly thanking his aunt and went to the back room. As he wet his rag in the sink to finish cleaning up the broken mirror mess in Janny's room, he opened the toolbox and shuffled through it to find the key still in the bottom. It was brass-looking, and it had dents and nicks all over it. It looked quite worn and like it had gotten thorough usage out of it. He slipped it into his pants pocket and turned back to the sink, turning it off and wringing his rag out before darting out from the hotel lobby and returned to Janny's room, knocking on the door.

"Come in, Bryan!" Janny called.

How did she know it was me? He wondered as he pushed her door open and stepped in, careful not to trip over the high doorframe like he did sometimes and stopped when he saw an elderly woman with short, wispy grey curls framing a narrow, heavily wrinkled face. She was tall, thin, and frail, much resembling a pipe to him. She wore a nice blue dress with a white doctor's coat over it and simple black shoes with a low heel. She fixed the reading glasses on her nose when she looked up and met his gaze.

It was Dr. Mayfield- the woman who replaced Dr. Preston when he left for Tenpenny Towers a few years back. Some people made jokes that after the bombs fell, only two things survived it- radroaches and Dr. Mayfield. Bryan didn't get the joke because Dr. Mayfield wasn't a ghoul.

"Ah, Bryan," She greeted in an impassive and otherwise drowsy tone and fixed her glasses once more, taking them off to clean them on the edge of her lab coat. "Haven't seen you around for a while- I expect you to be in my office soon for a checkup?" She put her glasses back on her nose.

Bryan gave low, wry laughter- he didn't like doctors with cold hands and cold tools and cold eyes, it freaked him out more than blood and needles did.

"Of course he will," Janny commented before he could, smiling at the dinosaur of a doctor. "He will be in to see you soon- I'll make sure of it."

His face paled significantly and he tried to stifle an unpleasant groan as he got on his hands and knees and began giving a wipe down of the floor for the smaller shards his brush couldn't pick up.

"As a doctor, I normally don't give out patient files- strict doctor-patient confidentiality."

"I understand. My father was a doctor, a very skilled doctor, I might add- and may I remind you, Dr. Mayfield that this is from one doctor to another. Seagrave's file won't leave this room, and I promise you no one else will hear about it."

Seagrave's file? Bryan wondered, looking over his shoulder at the two and momentarily stopped his work. It was a ruined manila folder with the name "Holmes, Seagrave" on the tab. On the cover, it said "Medical File" in big, bold letters. Why does Janny have his medical file? And since when was she a doctor?

"I certainly hope so, Dr. Jenkins." Mayfield nodded, placing her glasses back on her small nose. "May I ask why you requested this man's file?"

"He was a very good friend of mine, and I wanted to see if his case of red-lung got the best of him." She replied as she opened the salvaged manila folder and began leafing through the pages, a slight frown growing on her face the more pages her fingers flipped through.

"Is something the matter?" She asked, peering over the document to look down at the upside down writing.

"No, no…" She murmured, shaking her head. "Nothing at all…" She snapped the folder shut and smiled up at Mayfield, offering a polite hand. "Thank you for your cooperation. I will return the file to you before the night is out. If not, I should have it returned to you personally by the end of the week."

"I appreciate it," Mayfield responded, shaking Janny's hand before striding out and closing the door behind her.

"Doctor Jenkins?" Bryan furrowed his brows together, glancing up at Janny. "Since when were you a doctor?"

"I have enough skill, but I don't have a license or anything… Hell, it's not like anyone has a medical license out here," She answered innocently, bringing a lone finger to her plump lips as if she were telling him to lower his voice. "Honestly, that's not even my real last name."

"It's not?" Bryan asked with wide eyes of disbelief, getting up from the floor and leaving his rag abandoned where he worked. He didn't like all the lying Janny seemed to be doing- how secrets clung to her like a bad habit not wanting to be broken, and he didn't like feeling that she didn't trust him completely.

Well, why should she? He thought glumly. We only knew each other a month or so- and I was eight then. She doesn't exactly know what type of person I am now… For all she knows, I could be like James- always getting into trouble with security and whatever.

"My last name is Brookes." She answered, going back to Seagrave's medical file to open it and flip through the pages with quick fingers, a frown coming to her face again the more she read.

"How do I know that you're not lying to me again?..." He asked in a quiet voice, eyes narrowed and focused only on her.

Janny looked up at him, blinking as a little crease came between her brows.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I feel like you don't trust me, Janny." He answered. "I feel like you like having secrets and that you like lying to people… You said you'd never lie to me!"

She sighed deeply, placing the file down on the desk and walked towards him, cupping a gentle hand against his jaw so he'd look down directly at her. His heart began to beat a little faster then he was comfortable with in his chest.

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way, Bryan… I really am sorry. But the life I live out there- I know how savage and brutal people can be… I know that they'd do anything to gain the upper hand. I'm doing this so no one knows who I truly am- so that they can't link me back to anyone I care about."

"So you're not going to let me know who you truly are?" He asked in a quiet volume, feeling so significantly small, even with her warm touch caressing the side of his face.

She smiled up at him sadly, bringing her other hand up to the other side of his jaw, cupping it completely.

"I said I lie about who I am so no one can link me back to the people I care about- I lie so I can protect you, Bryan Wilks. I lie because I really have no one else out here… No one but you and Harkness. I do everything that is in my power to protect what little I have left."

The thought hit him like a shovel to the face- the Capital Wasteland was a very big place, he honestly couldn't believe or even register that out of all the people out there in all the towns and settlements, she only cared about him and the commander. Only two people.

"Bu- But there's gotta be more… What about Butch in the Muddy Rudder? You know him from where you're from, that Vault, right? You have a house in Megaton, don't you have friends there?"

Her sad smile only deepened, and she brushed her fingers up and down his cheeks, as if to soothe herself more than him. Either way, he tried to suppress a blissful coo and he tried not to give into her touch, letting his body overflow with the butterflies in his stomach or the rapid beat of his heart, he tried not to give into her… This goddess of his…

"I may have grown up with Butch DeLoria, but we are far from friendly. We never saw eye-to-eye as kids. Yes, I have a home in Megaton and the people are very friendly, but I do not really consider them actual friends- not like you and Harkness. My parents? I told you before that my father died from a severe case of radiation poisoning, and my- my mother... She died giving birth to me… Both of my parents are gone, and I'm an only child."

Bryan knew how that felt. He never knew his mother, his father always told him that she was beautiful and kind and had the voice of an angel- he only ever really said that she was a real angel now, in heaven, wherever that was. His father was taken from him by fire ants when he was eight, and now he lived with his Aunt Vera while C.J. and James were his best friends. But even so, with family and friends, he still felt alone at times…

Not with Janny, though. He never felt more alive than when he was with her, just talking, making him forget about all his problems and all his worries…

Janny chuckled a little, looking up at him. "You want to know something about me?"

He nodded. "Sure."

"Only a few people know I'm from the Vault. Harkness knows, some people in Megaton know, you know… Madison knew, before she left for the Commonwealth- and anyone who knows of the Lone Wanderer, but a lot of people don't know it's me. They see me and the Lone Wanderer as two different people." She shook her head, glancing to her Pip-Boy on the bed. "I don't like wearing that, it feels so heavy and I feel so- so free when it's not weighing me down."

"What is it, anyways?" Bryan asked as she removed her hands form his cheeks, much to his dismay, and sat on her bed to retrieve it. He followed her, sitting down next to her.

"It's called a Pip-Boy 3000." She smiled, holding it up to show him. "Everyone from a Vault has one, and I'm sure Butch still has his. Before the bombs fell, anyone who entered the Vault was given a Vault suit to wear and a Pip-Boy to use. It's useful at times, but I only wear it when I'm outside. Even then, I try to hide it as best I can with my coat."

"How come?" He cocked his head to the side.

"I'm sometimes given funny looks from people around me," She laughed timidly.

"Why? I think it's cool!" He exclaimed with a broad smile, poking at the buttons to have it beep with life, the interface turning on and glowing dimly.

"It may seem cool to you, but people who see it know I'm from the Vault, and they won't take me seriously. It's a useful advantage in some fights- being underestimated, I mean- but other than that it's not all that helpful. People will see my Pip-Boy and look at me, and see nothing but a spoiled Vaultie."

"A Vaultie?" Bryan blinked up at her. Where had he heard that term before?... Oh yeah- Three Dog used to call her that when she was out on her Lone Wanderer adventures.

Janny nodded. "Mhm. It's a nickname that stuck with me back in my earlier years."

He smiled a little, still examining the Pip-Boy like a small child, and when he looked back up at Janny, she was staring at Seagrave's document on her desk while chewing on her lip with thought.

"…You can't tell me what that's about, can you?" He asked softly, putting the Pip-Boy down in his lap. "Even though I already know it's about Seagrave's death… It's something more, isn't it?"

"I- I don't know…" She looked back at him. "It-… It's just this hunch I have. I don't know where it's taking me- whether this hunch will put me in danger or not- but I'm worried that if you know, it could put you at great risk, Bryan."

"Why should you be in danger alone?" He shot back, a small smile on his face. "Why can't you have someone fighting with you?"

Janny seemed to have liked the statement, because she began smiling- genuinely smiling- and nodded her head.

"Listen- let me talk to, erm… A friend, for an all clear on you, okay?"

"What do you mean?" He blinked in astonishment.

"Something's going on… Something big that involves someone I know. I'm trying to help this person, but I don't know if this person would feel comfortable with me telling you what's going on with them."

"Someone knows what you're doing?" He asked with wide, curious eyes. "Who?"

She winked at him playfully, getting up from the bed with her Pip-Boy and placed it on her desk, on top of Seagrave's medical file.

"I'm the keeper of secrets, remember? But if you get the okay, you'll find out soon enough." She pointed at his rag on the floor, smiling kindly. "But for now, you still have a mess to clean up don't you?"

With a groan of disappointment, Bryan got off the bed and knelt back in his original working space, cleaning the floor once more with his mind buzzing with questions shooting faster than lightning strikes.