A/N: HEY GUYS! Just a quick little note for you all-
a LOT of stuff is going on right now, so I'm not gonna be around for a few weeks... Sorry e_O And today only Saving Me and A Trial of Risk and Fall will be updated! Another War For Your Textbook won't be updated till I return.
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy the two chapters I post today, and I apologize for the inconvienance!
Happy reading, happy writing!
~Konfessionist out!~
PS: Oh right, if you go to my profile, I have a LOOOONG list of stories I'm planning on posting in the future :D Check it out! Maybe there will be something that YOU'D be interested in reading, huh?
Chapter Sixteen: Love is a Losing Game
Day Four
"C.J.! Hey, C.J.!"
C.J. fumbled around and looked up to see James barreling past people to get to her down the rickety hallway. They stumbled back as he breezed through, yelling after him to watch where he was going and he gave no reply in return- only staring forward, staring at her, and smiling like an idiot.
She rolled her eyes and went back to walking.
"Hey, C.J.!" He exclaimed when he was finally at her side and they were walking together with his hands folded behind his back. "Can I talk to you about something?"
"Sure," She nodded, looking up at every door and doorway they passed by so she could be sure that she wouldn't miss her exit. "What's up?" She finally looked up at him.
Suddenly, he froze, with the big idiotic smile still on his face and his eyes darted around at everything but her. A heated redness creeped up his neck and blossomed in his cheeks and he scratched the back of his head, ruffling his dark hair with his long, thick fingers with his other hand still behind his back.
"I- uh… Nice weather today, huh?"
She laughed, finding his sudden awkwardness kind of funny and shrugged. "I guess so. My mom said she overheard Bannon and Rogue talking about a rad storm coming through, though- so they're trying to make sure no one leaves the ship. I don't know if they're going to leave the door open for caravaneers, they didn't last time, and Harkness was mad. He said it was a terrible idea."
"Oh." It seemed like he was feigning interest. "And why's that?" He leaned towards her face, as if she had something interesting in her hands that he wanted to get a better look at.
"Becausethe people that come through Rivet City is like our staple," She shook her head at his stupidity and turned to him. He froze up again, still with that big idiotic smile- now turning into an awkward grin. "Drifters, wastelanders, caravaneers, scavengers… They always bring in things we need. They're good for trade."
"Oh, I see." He glanced away, still smiling and scratched his chin. "Uh, about what I said earlier… Yeah," He turned back to look at her. "There's something I wanna talk to you about."
"Something other than the weather?" C.J. giggled.
"Yeah…" James murmured, his hands shifting from behind his back and she craned her head slightly to get a better look at what it was. "Uh- C.J…. I- I really-… Uh…"
She shifted from foot to foot, waiting for him to continue (it struck her as odd that he was stuttering- James never stuttered. Ever) when out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement. She looked to it, finding that she was standing in front of the doorway that was her exit- the Weatherly Hotel. And the movement she saw was Bryan wiping down a table and collecting dirty dishes. Her heart leapt up into her throat, lodging there, so the bass drum of it thumped like hot blood in her ears, echoing inside her.
"C.J., I-…" The smile faded from his face, replaced with a serious expression and a desperate twinkle in his eyes. C.J. didn't notice. She was too busy staring at Bryan. "C.J I really like yo-"
"I have to go, we can talk later, James." She cut him off, turning to walk away so she couldn't waste time any further. "It can wait, right?"
"Wha-? Oh, ye- yeah…" His head sunk down and he stared at his feet meekly with a miserable smirk on his lips. "Yeah… Sure… I've got another session with Father Clifford and my mom soon, anyways…"
"See you later!" She called dismissively over her shoulder and hurried away into the hotel lobby, walking towards Bryan with a huge grin on her bright red face. She walked unsteadily, as if she couldn't control her knees, and James wondered what the hell was wrong with her.
"Six caps, wasted…" He hissed between clenched teeth, with more sadness than malice in his voice, as he pulled out the thing that he had been hiding behind his back all this time. It was a crimson rose- a plastic one, but he was told it was pretty realistic. He had never seen a flower before so he didn't know what they were supposed to look like, but it had big, red petals curled around its budded center, and a long green stem with plastic thorns protruded from the bottom. It was a little dirty when he bought it, but he soaked it in some clean water and abraxo cleaner and it was as good as new.
He bought it because it was pretty, and once he saw the flower from one of the scavengers he bought it because it reminded him of C.J. He was going to keep it for himself, but he instead hatched a plan- he would tell her how he felt about her and then give her the rose.
Of course, what he didn't plan on was her walking away with a dreamy look in her eyes, abandoning him in the middle of his confession to her. What made it sting more was the fact that she was walking away from him, with that dreamy look in her eyes, towards Bryan. It was almost like she was-
A panicked thought struck James.
No. No. She- She can't-!
But somewhere, deep in his gut, he knew it was true.
With an aching pain in his chest and a long scowl pulling at his lips, scrunching up his narrowed eyes into anger he growled and threw the plastic rose on the floor, trying to keep his eyes from it. He turned and stomped off down the hall, shoulder-shoving anyone who was within a few mere inches of him with his hands thrust deeply into his pockets.
That little shit knows I like her! I bet he was working behind my back all this time so he could get close to her! That fucking little- his mind went into a rage-fueled overdrive that made his blood run hot and he could feel it working from the tips of his toes to his face.
Bryan would pay for betraying him, James decided as a thin smile came to his face.
Harkness came up the walkway that led through the winding halls of the hotel floor, absentmindedly navigating himself towards Janny's room.
"Come down to my room during your lunch break, we can greet him into the club together."
It wasn't his lunch break yet, but he was able to have a moment to himself to slip away and let her know that he would come by later than usual. Harkness knew bringing Bryan into the mix was a terribly bad idea. The kid was bright, he knew it- he applied for some of the security aptitude tests (which were some basic questions about the subject's health, history, reflex, and "what would you do in this situation?" kind of questions) and he passed with flying colors. Hell, he did better than most of the other guards did, as it was mandatory that they take it once a year to make sure everything was sharp, and the guards had been working on the ship for years now. Regulation should have been imprinted in their heads by now, yet Bryan had all the information down pat.
Bryan was also level-headed, which was a pro but also a con. It would keep his head cool when it came to drunken brawls and petty confrontations with thieves and the like, but when it came time to the big stuff- like slavers or super mutants trying to get onto the ship- where would he get the anger needed to be so violent? He never even heard Bryan swear before! Smarts wasn't everything, you also needed to get a little angry sometimes too. But that was about him applying for the security team, which he had been trying very hard to do for several years now with no avail. This was about the fact that something was going on, something big, and Janny wanted to drag him into it just because she felt a little guilty about keeping secrets from him.
So what?
The kid didn't have to know every damn thing about her!
Like the fact that she ran with slavers not too long after her dad died, Harkness mused with some amusement in mind. She went down a very long, very dark path after her dad passed at the hands of the Enclave. She worked with slavers, raiders, and gave a big "fuck you!" to any one she met if they looked at her funny. He recalled the last time he saw her like that, right before the Brotherhood of Steel reclaimed Project Purity- they got into an argument that turned into an all-out fistfight. He walked away with a bruised eye and a broken jaw, she walked away with a few broken ribs and a fractured collar bone. After that, he never heard from her again… He watched everyone around him grow up or get old, and he thought that things had gone back to normal. But then she came back… And she was a completely different person- he wasn't just exaggerating. She talked with this sophisticated air about her, like her father did (he remembered the way James spoke so well), she held her head high with dignity and pride, and she was smiling again. Before she was all growling, frowning, and swearing like there was no damn tomorrow.
Harkness liked the new Janny. It didn't cause him any problems, but he wondered if she'd relapse again- like when her father died… He thought that if it was so easy for her to turn from the Bleeding Heart Heroine of the Wastes to the Devil's Mistress and back again, he knew that she could easily go back down that path. Maybe even worse this time.
He sighed quietly to himself, trying to push the thoughts away as he stopped in front of her door and knocked on it. He was used to her immediately replying "come on in, Harkness!" But she didn't this time. He knocked again. No answer. Again.
Must not be here… He mused, turning to walk back the way he came, again, on autopilot. Wonder if Wilks knows where she is? If I'm not with her, he is.
"I only talk to two people on a regular basis- him, and you. I've told him so before. If he hasn't figured it out yet, he will soon enough."
Damnit Janny, he smoothed his hand over his hair. What are you doing to this kid, getting him all tangled up in this? This is murder we're talking about, and you wanna include him in it? He huffed with some annoyance. Sometimes, as smart as Janny was, she just didn't think. She acted.
One of the guards passed by him, waving with a small nod of his head and Harkness reciprocated the gesture when he heard a crunch under his boot. He stopped, back pedaled, and looked down to see the strangest thing.
A rose with a plastic stem and petals, now slightly flattened, on the floor.
What the-?...
He picked it up cautiously and examined it, straightening out the petals and the stem and continued to stare at it. It was a pretty bold red color, but he shook his head at it.
"People are always leaving their damn garbage in the hallway…" He grumped as he made his way towards the Weatherly Hotel.
Bryan picked up dirty glasses and dishes from the dining table in the corner of the Weatherly Hotel lobby and balanced them as a short tower in his arm. He took as much as he could without over-encumbering himself and otherwise dropping the porcelain ware on the floor to shatter, gliding towards the back room to place them in the sink before coming back to the table to retrieve more. He made several back and forth trips before the table was clear of any dishes and ran a wet rag over it to remove any crumbs from the breakfast that morning. It wasn't crowded, as usual, because even though some settlers rented out some rooms from the hotel they ate down at Gary's Galley instead.
Bryan told his aunt to lower the prices on certain items, but she wouldn't have any of it. It was expected of her. Not so easily swayed, but if you had a good argument to back you up she'd come around. Apparently his reasoning wasn't enough… Again, expected.
"Morning, Bryan!" C.J. exclaimed giddily as she walked into the Weatherly Hotel with a happy kink in her step.
"Oh, hey C.J." He greeted and turned to her, noting that James was absent when he was usually right behind her or somewhere in the vicinity. "Where's James?"
"James? Oh, I think he's with Father Clifford and his mom. Another session, 'ya know… After the incident in the bow with the 'lurks, Harkness demanded that their sessions be bumped up from three times a week to four times a week." She explained with a careless shrug.
"But nothing happened down there," He interjected with his brows furrowed together. "We came out unharmed- why is James being punished when it's not even his fault? We told Harkness it was my idea!"
"Maybe because he doesn't like James…" She murmured thoughtfully. "We both know he thinks I'm a good kid, and you're trying to enlist in the security program so you're probably A-Okay in his book."
"Just because he doesn't like James doesn't mean that he can saddle him with another session!" He cried, turning back to the dining table to continue wiping it down. "His mother isn't doing anything to help, either… She's not even trying. He wants to try, he-… He just doesn't know how to…"
"What do you mean?" She asked, cocking her head to the side and folded her arms over her chest.
"I-…" Bryan looked up at her and sighed, and in the back of his mind, a past conversation with James settled into his synapses.
"Bryan, I gotta change."
"What do you mean, you gotta change?"
"I-… I really like C.J. I mean really like her. You think she's gonna wanna date someone who's hated by everyone on this fucking ship? You think she's gonna wanna be with someone that's only good for lying and stealing? Even I wouldn't date me!"
"…So what are you gonna do?"
"I'm gonna change, idiot! For her… I wanna be someone she deserves. I just-… I just don't… I need help Bryan. I wanna be good enough!"
"James…"
"Don't gimmie that look! If you breathe a word of this sappy shit to anyone, I'll lop your fucking head off!"
The conversation had come so suddenly while the two boys were up on the flight deck, chugging down some Nuka-Cola. Well, Bryan was drinking soda, James was drinking from a whiskey bottle he swindled from his mother when she was passed out on her bed one evening. Bryan knew James really liked C.J., but he didn't know that his affections for her went to the extent that he was willing to change everything about him for her! He had always been known as Rivet City's "Lost Cause-" always stealing, swearing, getting violent, and not giving a flying giant-rat's ass about anyone but himself.
Well… Anyone but him and C.J.
"You- what?" C.J. smiled a little and giggled.
"Look, he just wants to be a better person." He answered quickly.
"A better-… person?" Her smile faltered, and she stared up at him with wide eyes.
"Yeah," He shouldered the rag he used to wipe down the table and went to the back room to get the broom. "He wants to change. He doesn't want to do bad things anymore."
High-pitched laughter erupted from the lobby and Bryan came back, finding C.J. to be hunched over and clutching her stomach as she laughed boisterously.
"That- That's funny! You had me going for a second there!" She continued to laugh.
"Wha- What's so funny?..." He asked, clutching the handle of his broom tightly, and felt a little offended by her reaction even though she wasn't laughing at him. Did she not think he was serious? Did she think that he was kidding?
"That's funny!" She cried again and wiped her teary eyes. "James? Changing? Bryan I don't think he's capable of changing! He's always been lying, stealing, cursing, hard-headed… What makes you think he's going to change? What makes you think he wants to change?"
"You think she's gonna wanna be with someone that's only good for lying and stealing?"
Bryan couldn't help but feel his eyes narrow at her to dangerous pinpoints as she continued to laugh, as if the thought of James changing was the funniest thing you ever did hear.
He's trying to change for you- and you're laughing at him? He grimaced and shook his head, biting his tongue to keep from saying anything as he began sweeping the floor. C.J. finally sat down at the table, still hiccupping with small giggles and watched him work.
That was when Harkness walked in, and that was when the trouble began.
"Oh, hey Harkness!" Bryan called out with a smile, stopping his sweeping to give the commander a proper, but still playful, salute.
C.J. cooed inwardly, sinking her jaw into her palms on the table. Good God, Bryan was so handsome when he saluted like that… She wondered how he'd look in the Rivet City security uniform, and deemed that he'd look really good in it. She knew he'd be on the team one day, or her name wasn't C.J. Young!
C.J. Wilks… She giggled girlishly at the thought, tracing hearts into the dining table's chipping wood with her forefinger. That's gotta ring to it… She smiled broadly.
"Janny? No… I haven't seen her."
Bryan's words cut into her thoughts like jagged glass and the smile disappeared from her face. She snapped her eyes up to the two. Bryan had stopped sweeping and propped his broom against the lobby desk, Harkness stood at his side with a serious look on his face and a-… Was that a plastic rose in his hand?
"When was the last time you saw her?" Harkness asked sternly.
"Well, she stopped by the hotel at breakfast for some fruit and a cup of coffee, but I don't know where she went after that." Bryan lifted his head up to the commander, his long hair falling into his eyes. "I think she went to her hotel room."
"No, I checked there." He shook his head.
"Oh…" Bryan shifted his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot, as if he were deeply troubled. C.J.'s eyes narrowed. What was he suddenly so nervous for? "Do you have any idea where she could be?"
"No, I don't."
"How about you go see Dr. Mayfield?"
"Dr. Mayfield?" Harkness lifted a brow.
"Yeah, I-" He seemed to catch himself and cleared his throat awkwardly. "We- Well, I know she likes to hang out in the clinic sometimes… Medical stuff, you know? Thinks it's cool."
"Interesting… Alright, I'll check around there. At ease, Wilks." He saluted Bryan good-naturedly, turning to leave.
C.J. picked her head up out of her hands on the table and stared at Bryan with hard eyes. He was still shifting his weight nervously from foot to foot, and she still wondered why he looked so worried and distracted. He only started doing it when Harkness mentioned that he couldn't find Janny anywhere…
Janny's face turned over in her head. Bronzed and flawless skin, perfect golden curls, big clear blue eyes, straight nose, full lips, a nicely shaped face, her figure was superb and curved in all the right places. She looked like she belonged on one of those pin-up posters- the ones the army made with the pretty girls to promote enrollment onto the battlefield.
C.J.'s skin was pale, her hair was thin and hard to manage, her brown eyes were small, she had a snub nose, thin lips, her face was a little round because of her baby fat and her figure was flatter than irradiated Nuka-Cola. She was nothing compared to the glorious beauty that Janny was- and it made her…
Sad.
Don't you like me, Bryan?
Angry.
Am I not pretty enough?
Insecure.
Maybe I'm not good enough…
She growled quietly under her breath, burying her head in her hands when Bryan's deep, luscious voice carried itself to her ears- it normally comforted her, but this time, it brought a boiling wave of fury and resentment crashing into her.
"Janny! There you are! I was worried!"
Do you like her, Bryan?
"Janny! There you are! I was worried!" Bryan exclaimed with a bright smile.
Janny had appeared in the doorway of the Weatherly Hotel lobby just as Harkness turned away to leave, plastic rose still clutched in his hand. She smiled at him and the commander, giving a small wave as someone followed her into the lobby. A tall man with chocolate brown hair perfectly combed, his arms and chest and legs broad with muscles, and his small eyes were such a dark shade of brown they almost looked black stepped up to her side in the lobby. He smiled kindly, showing two straight rows of pearly white teeth and nodded his head. He was wearing a slightly dirtied Pre-War outfit- a plain light blue button-up shirt, dark blue jeans with a tear at one of the knees, and brown leather shoes.
Bryan's eyes widened. He had never seen anyone so-… So… Immaculately clean and… He didn't know how to describe it. It was strange- he was strange- and whoever he was, he was very much out of place in the Wasteland. He looked like he just stepped out of one of those Vault ad's, the ones that had the perfect family in the field above one of the Vault-Tec Vaults. He looked like the man playing football with the little boy.
"Harkness, we need your help." She stepped up to the commander, stopping when she saw the rose in his hand. "What's that?" She pointed at it.
"Something I found in the hallway," He shrugged and held it up to her. Bryan squeezed out another smile, trying not to show the twinge of ache he felt in his chest. "You want it?"
"Why Harkness, if you're infatuated with me, all you have to do is say so!" She laughed.
"Oh shut it," He shook his head and smiled, looking to the tall and strangely clean man. "New on the ship?"
He nodded, still smiling. "Yeah, I just got here a few moments ago. Don't worry- Commander Danvers admitted me at the bridge."
"I figured as much… Don't cause any trouble around here, got it?"
"Yes sir," He nodded his head again in understanding.
"So what did you say you needed help with?"
"This is Cameron, he's looking for the flight deck. It's been a while since I've been on the ship, so I can't say I know how to get there…" She scratched the back of her head. "Haven't done much exploring, you know."
"The flight deck?" He mused, looking to Cameron and nodded. "I'll take you up there, but I have to ask why. Settlers aren't allowed up there."
"What? Since when?" Janny asked, confused.
"Since Mr. Lopez committed suicide."
"Oh- Oh my…" She murmured, putting her hand over her mouth. "But- But I-…"
"Talked to him? I know. Everyone knows about your intervention with him up on the flight deck all those years ago… And it worked. Ted Strayer was getting his act together and Lopez was feeling better, but Ted had a slip up with Jet and overdosed. Lopez thought it was his fault for not taking proper care of him and jumped only a few days later."
Janny ran her trembling fingers through her hair and closed her eyes, shaking her head.
"Janny?..." Bryan murmured, stepping up to place a hand on her shoulder. "Are you- are you okay?"
"Ye- Yeah," She nodded and gave him a weak, unconvincing smile. "I'm fine… Just a little shocked, is all… But I should have known. I noticed that I haven't seen either of them around, but I just thought… I just thought that they both left Rivet City, or Mr. Lopez passed away peacefully or something… He was sixty-five when I last saw him, after all."
He smiled at her soothingly. "Janny, don't blame this on yourself. You did your best, and it worked. You did help Mr. Lopez, right? Even if it only worked for a short period of time, you still helped him. You helped Ted, too."
Her smile became genuine and she nodded her head. "Thanks, Bryan…"
"I'm gonna show Cameron to the flight deck- go to your room. My lunch break was pushed back, but I'll be there to talk to you soon," Harkness waved as he left with Cameron down the hallways, leaving Bryan and Janny alone- with C.J. in the corner at the dining table, looking positively grumpy for some reason.
"Oh, that reminds me," Janny looked up at Bryan. "Are you free in about an hour?"
Harkness navigated his way through the hallways and corridors of Rivet City with Cameron behind him, his boots pounding against the floor in unison with the bulky man's marching behind him.
"So, Cameron- you never answered my question. Why do you need to go to the flight deck?"
"Visiting some family. I was told I could find my brother there."
"Is he a guard?"
"No- public official."
Didn't know Rogue had a brother… They look nothing alike, though. Harkness mused, looking back at him over his shoulder. "Got a last name?"
"Scully," He grinned, his muscles flexing under his shirt- but Harkness didn't notice. "Cameron Scully."
"Strange name…" The commander mused aloud.
Cameron shrugged. "I come from a very strange family."
Ain't that the truth...