Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis or any part of the Stargate franchise, alas. I'm just playing around with it for a bit.

A/N: This was written in response to the prompt:
Stargate Atlantis, Rodney, any. They pissed him off, and now they're having to deal with a string of "inexplicable" malfunctions.

Bad Luck

So he was interested in this cute little scientist and was explaining that she should be interested in him back. After all, he was there to protect her. She should be grateful to him. If she wanted to be protected then she had better show a bit of gratitude.

"Go away, or I'll report you."

"For what? I'm just being nice." He smiled. He hadn't laid a hand on her.

She glared. "I'll report you to McKay!"

He rolled his eyes at that as she skittered away.

Come on, like that was a real threat. Rodney McKay was protective of his science department, but everyone knows that he's all bark and no bite. Sure McKay is always ranting and raving about this, that, or the other thing, but that guy never does anything.

Anyways, he knew how to stand at attention and have insults hurled at him. Just ignore it and it stopped and he could get back to doing his job.

They were trapped in another universe. He'd give her some time to think about her options and she'd come around.

McKay didn't even say anything to him the next time they passed in the hallway so he figured maybe the little cutie had already come around to his way of thinking. Maybe he'd just visit her room tonight and get a bit of something nice.

Unfortunately, one of the sliding doors malfunctioned and closed on him when he turned into that corridor.

It pinned him in the door frame and he supposed he should be grateful that it didn't squish him entirely, but now he couldn't reach his communicator and it was late at night and he couldn't even take a deep enough breath to really yell.

Spending the night pinned in a door frame when he had been hoping for a booty call was really unpleasant. His shower understood all too well though, since it only gave him cold water.

The next night was spent pinned in the doorway at the other end of the corridor. And the following day was worse for being mocked by the other soldiers and then poked and prodded by the doctor to see if maybe the issue was with his gene rather than with the doors.

Two nights without sleep were worth a bit of soothing of the feminine kind, so when he saw the cutie he was wooing in the lunchroom, he figured he'd go over. The fact that the ancients apparently had some sort of disposal chutes that opened up in the floor was apparently quite interesting to everyone else and, after checking that Simmons was okay down there, they discussed how it could be used as a defense if the city were ever occupied.

When he finally got up an hour later, his scientist had apparently finished her leisurely meal and gotten back to work.

The next time he saw her, he was just walking down the hallway when suddenly the sprinkler system right over him turned on. It was just as cold as his showers had been lately.

She was like a bad luck charm or something.

He was better off without her because every time he got within fifty feet of her, something awful happened.