Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Victorious, and the title of the story was inspired by Avril Lavigne's song Things I'll Never Say. Also, the play that is mentioned in this chapter is based on the book The Full Catastrophe by David Carkeet.
I promise I'm not trying to torture you guys by keeping you all in suspense, lol. This was a challenging chapter to write. Enjoy!
Chapter Ten
The final rehearsal for The Full Catastrophe was a vast departure from the first. The stage and lighting crew, led by Robbie and Sinjin, had prepared all the necessary equipment and rigging for the following evening. The actors had memorized all their lines and delivered them with flawless ease. The final scene was rehearsed several times until Sikowitz was satisfied with the overall performance. Only the kiss in the final scene was excluded in the rehearsal – much to Tori's relief – because Sikowitz didn't feel the need for Beck and Jade to practice something they had done for two years.
As the rehearsal was coming to a close, the knotted feeling in Tori's stomach grew more agonizing. Soon, she and Beck were going to confess everything that had happened between them to Jade. It was a terrifying thought to say the least and Tori struggled to bury her fear and guilt under a mask of enthusiasm for the play. It came as quite a relief to get some fresh air when Robbie asked her and Andre to help him put away some equipment in his car.
"I think that's the last of it," Robbie said, shutting the trunk of his car. "Thanks for your help guys."
"No problem," Andre replied.
"Yeah, don't mention it," Tori added.
"Okay, see you space cadets tomorrow!"
With a small wave, Robbie got into his car and drove off. They watched until Robbie's car exited the parking lot, and then Andre turned to Tori with a questioning glance.
"Space cadets?"
"I wouldn't know," Tori said, shaking her head critically.
"Do you need a ride home?"
"No, I should be fine," Tori replied, trying to act casual. "I can ask Beck to take me home."
A sly smile formed on Andre's lips as if he were able to read the implied subtext in Tori's response. She saw this and playfully nudged her friend on the arm. She hadn't quite mustered up the nerve to tell Andre about kissing Beck last night. The truth was Tori still hardly believed it happened herself.
"Andre, no! It's not like that."
"Mhm, of course not."
Tori rolled her eyes in exasperation. "If you must know, Beck and I are going to tell Jade about everything."
"Right now?" Andre's eyebrows arched in surprise.
"Yes, right now."
"Are you sure you don't want me to stick around in case you need a quick getaway?"
Tori smiled and placed a reassuring hand on Andre's shoulder. "Thanks, but I think I can handle it from here."
She then turned to head back to the black box theater where Beck and Jade were finishing a final run-through of the last scene. As she was walking, the thought of Jade's fury-ridden reaction to the kiss crept into Tori's mind, prompting her to a halting stop.
With a small frown, she looked back at Andre and said, "On second thought, could you just–"
"I'll be on standby," Andre said with a knowing smile.
The black box theater was nearly empty as most of its occupants had already retired for the evening, save for Beck and Jade. Rehearsal had technically ended minutes ago but wanting to perfect the nuance of the final scene, Jade insisted on running through it one more time. She also secretly wanted to spend the extra one-on-one time with Beck. Under the dim spotlights, they stood in the middle of a cozy living room setting, equipped with a couch, coffee table and standing lamp.
"You're probably thinking this marriage is over, but we can still take it in a completely different direction than you and I ever imagined."
Jade looked at Beck with a vulnerable expression that had him mesmerized.
"Are you sure the alternative has enough room in there for you, me, and Ella?" she asked.
"It can."
With downcast eyes, she sadly turned away from Beck and faced the front of the stage.
"It'll be a tight fit. We might not have any room for change."
Beck took a step towards her with firm resolution. "Then we'll make room. Remember what Perkins said? We either change together or we change apart. What do you say, Sarah?"
Jade was silent for a moment to build up dramatic effect, and then turned to face Beck once again.
"Do you love me?" she quietly replied.
"Always have." He gently lifted her chin up with his index finger and said, "So will you stay with me?"
"Always will."
Suddenly, the click of the theater doors opening echoed throughout the room. Beck snapped his head to the side, expecting to see Tori, but before he could catch a glimpse of her, Jade cupped his face with her hands and pulled him in for a kiss.
Tori had just stepped into the black box theater when she saw the heart-wrenching scene before her. She had worked with Beck and Jade in enough plays and skits to know when they were acting. And this kiss was most certainly not an act. As Tori stood paralyzed by shock and distress, Beck pulled away from Jade and stepped towards Tori with earnest eyes.
"Tori," he said. "It's not what you think."
"It's exactly what you think, Vega," Jade said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Jade, you're not helping!" Beck heatedly exclaimed as he gestured a hand towards her.
A look of triumph played on Jade's features, and all Tori could think to do was glance back and forth between her and Beck. She desperately wanted to believe Beck, but the kiss she had just witnessed was like a black hole that was gradually absorbing the white light of truth. She had been hurt by enough guys in the past to know better. As a whirlwind of doubts, fear, and confusion flooded her mind, Tori briskly left the black box theater without another word to Beck or Jade.
Beck was about to run after her until Jade's razor-sharp words pierced the air.
"There's no point going after her. She's not going to talk to you."
Beck stopped in his tracks and gazed dejectedly at the theater doors, where Tori had stood just moments before. Somehow he knew that Jade was right; he hated that she was right. He combed his hand through his hair as he took a moment to gather his thoughts and contemplate his next move.
Meanwhile, Jade's anger and frustration was reaching its boiling point. She had noticed the shy lingering glances between Tori and Beck during rehearsal. That combined with the contempt she still harbored from the incident she had witnessed on Cat's laptop were beginning to merge into one resentful ball of fury.
"I need to go talk to Tori," Beck said as he reached for the door.
He barely even looked at her and his voice was so monotone, so unfeeling. Jade had had enough.
"I know about the kiss!" she exclaimed.
Beck faltered and he cast his gaze back on Jade. Suddenly, her tactful approach, her feigned transformation melted away. Jade's nose was flared up in anger and lines creased her forehead. It was a look that Beck was all too familiar with. It was the side of Jade that he knew all too well.
"Wait," Beck said, trying to keep his voice even. "How do you know I kissed Tori last night?"
"Last night?" Her eyes grew wild. "What are you talking about?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about the night before the Platinum Music Awards. Cat left her video chat on and I saw everything!"
Beck blinked, unsure of how to respond. The cards were all laid out on the table now and the truth bared its teeth like a vicious dog before them. He shook his head and heaved a heavy sigh.
"You kissed her?" Her voice slightly trembled as she spoke with a volume quieter than her first.
Beck just looked her in the eyes at a loss for words, but his silence was all the answer she needed.
"Why do you care about her so much?" she snarled. "I've spent the last two weeks trying to be exactly like Vega! I have permanent smile lines around my eyes! How is it still not enough for you?"
Beck shot Jade a puzzled look as her words struck him.
"You mean this whole time, you being nice...it was all an act?"
Their eyes locked in gripping intensity. Jade swallowed hard as she tried to find the words to make her seem less deceitful.
"Jade," Beck started with a gentle tone. "When we were dating, I liked you for who you were, not who you pretended to be."
For a moment he paused and sadly shrugged his shoulders.
"But we're different people now. We've outgrown each other. Why can't you see that?"
Paralyzed and speechless, Jade watched as he let out a defeated sigh and turned to open the door. Before leaving, Beck turned to her one last time, a regretful look clouding his face.
"I really thought we had a shot at being friends," he said. "I really thought you changed."
That night, Beck's words played like a broken record in Jade's head. She sat on the floor of her room and stared pensively at a picture of her and Beck from their first date, taken at the site of their first kiss. The backdrop in the photo was a graffiti wall that portrayed an artistically-rendered scene of a giant robot and a pink Tyrannosaurus rex in the middle of a destructive battle along a vast cityscape. Back then, everything was still new and thrilling and uncomplicated. They were attached to each other by the single link of mutual attraction. There were no gray areas, there were no doubts. There was certainly no Tori Vega to upset the balance of their relationship.
"What happened to us?" Jade said aloud in the dark sanctum of her room.
Suddenly, as if on cue, Cole's words penetrated her thoughts: the reality is people change. She sighed and berated herself for being so senseless and stubborn. Just then, her pear phone rang and she looked down to see Cole's face appear on the small screen.
"Hello?" Jade said, relieved to hear the familiar sound of his voice. "Hey. What's up?"
She almost regretted asking the question when she found herself listening to an apologetic Cole as he explained why he wouldn't be able to make it to make it to her play. Jade's heart suck upon hearing the words "boss", "short-staffed," and "wasn't able to find someone to cover." After tonight's disastrous episode at the black box theater, she was actually counting on Cole to be that friendly face in the crowd at tomorrow night's performance.
Sensing Jade's disappointment over the phone, Cole hesitantly asked her if she was okay.
"It's nothing. Don't worry about it," she curtly replied. "I'll talk to you later."
She promptly hung up the phone before he even had a chance to say goodbye. Jade leaned back against her bed with a defeated sigh and gazed at the picture in her hand once more. Like Beck, she had swept her room clean of everything that reminded her of their relationship. Only this picture remained like a single thread that tied her to those cherished memories.
Surprisingly, no tears rolled down her face. Not like the night after she left Tori's house after that huge fight with Beck four months ago. The sadness then was brutal, relentless. Though a part of her was still sad about losing Beck, this time the worst pain came from profound disappointment in herself. There was a bigger picture here that she was missing.
Just then, Jade caught sight of her reflection in the standing mirror by her closet. She stared hard at herself before looking back at the picture of her and Beck. The girl in the photo had light brown hair, and the picture was taken just one week before she had decided to get her eyebrow pierced. The girl in the photo was cool, confident, and fully secure with who she was. What a difference two years could make. It was as if Jade were looking at the discarded shell of a person she no longer was.
Suddenly, Jade knew what she had to do. Gripped by a new sense of purpose, she pushed her initial anger and frustration aside, grabbed her car keys and headed out the door.
Can you guys believe it? Only ONE CHAPTER left! Man, does time fly! Don't miss out on the last chapter; I've got some big news. Please be sure to review. Thanks a million!