Disclaimer: I do not, alas, own the X-Men universe

A/N: This was written for the prompt: X-Men First Class: Charles Xavier/Logan. He's not Erik, will never be...but eventually, it's become so much better

Worn down by time and metaphors

For all that Charles lay comfortably in Logan's arms, his thoughts laying just as comfortably in Logan's mind, he couldn't fall asleep.

This wasn't the way it was supposed to work.

From the very first, Erik's mind had been the perfect fit for Charles. Erik's mind and Charles' had been like gears that worked together perfectly. Everything between them had been perfect then.

But like any perfectly fitting gears, there wasn't space for bits of dirt and sand to pass by without harming the whole machine. They had worn on each other and worn each other down, and by the end, Erik's mind had felt like something completely different. Like maybe all Charles had done to that fine piece of perfect machinery was to introduce wear and tear and make it grimy and dirty and broken in a way that not even Schmidt had managed.

For all Erik's toughness, he had been fragile in just the wrong places for Charles.

When it finally ended, all of his friends tried to be sympathetic and explain that Charles had been too good for Erik to begin with and Charles hadn't known how to explain that it was just the reverse. In the end, Erik had been the one to break it off with Charles, but Charles had been the one all through the time wearing down on Erik.

He had known his own self-destructive tendencies were in full force when he had rebounded with Logan.

Because from the start, Logan was all wrong for him. Logan's mind was like a rough landscape, with un-passable mountains and deep dark caves and more than a few wild beasts wandering around. There was nothing there to grasp, nothing he could work with and Charles had let his mind just fall like rain into Logan's mind. Accomplishing nothing much, just being there, because he wanted to be somewhere and if he couldn't fit together with Logan like he could with Erik, then at least he was welcome with Logan.

It took a long time, surprisingly long for him, who usually knew his own and other peoples' minds so very well, to realize that what he had with Logan wasn't a rebound any more.

His mind, falling like rain had found paths. And those paths were getting worn smooth and deep. He was wearing down on Logan just as he had worn down on Erik, except that Logan was nothing like Erik.

Logan's mind remained unique and vibrant and distinctly his even as Charles caused little changes. Logan wasn't being damaged by Charles' presence. He was primal in a way that Charles' mind barely touched the surface of. The more Charles looked, the more Logan was himself and self-sufficient and glorious and comfortable. Charles' wanted to stay there forever.

Logan laughter at Charles' metaphor sounded like rocks falling down a cliff. It was deep and rumble-y and potentially dangerous, like you weren't quite sure if it was fun or a threat to life and limb. A few of the rocks bounced into Charles' mind and made ripples shining with sunlight.

"You drunk, Chuck? Cause you're metaphors..."

"I am not. I am simply, unnerved by how we came to this. And where we will go from here."

"Huh. We came to this because we wanted to be here and we'll carry on as we have."

"That's... there's a lot of things that I could... do wrong."

"You worry too much."

"Most people tell me I don't worry enough."

"Not the same kind of worrying. You ever been to the Grand Canyon?"

"I've flown over it, several times, but gone to it just to see, no, I haven't."

"You could say that river was pretty destructive to the landscape, but I can't say it's a bad thing."

"But..."

Logan laughed again. "It also took a hell of a long time to do anything much. I'm not going anywhere and you aren't either. Go to sleep, Chuck.