That Gravity Feeling

I was starting to feel lonely again – two weeks and counting. Every time I called Sage, she was either hanging out with Leah or Emily, helping baby-sit Claire with Quil, or spending time with Embry. I saw her rarely at school and when she did happen to be in the same room, she never looked or talked to me. She'd say "hi" and things like that, but that would be it. Embry would ever be too far behind when she was alone, so I could never spark a long enough conversation. She never came around my place anymore so I had to finish her bike alone. She didn't even come to pick it up when I told her that it was done, good-as-new.

Once the weekend began after school, I walked Sage's motorcycle over to the Uleys', hoping that she would be there. It was her birthday today and I had a present to give to her. Hopefully she would take it. And I knew that Embry wouldn't be here to ruin her special day. He was away, fishing or whatever with Sage's dad, David, my dad, Seth and Sam. Guess it was some sort of bonding thing. I was invited to tag along but this was the only time I would have to spend with Sage, alone, to talk about some things.

I parked her motorcycle on the side of the house when I heard Sage and Emily talking from the window. I climbed up stealthily, looking in.

"So how does it feel to be a wolf girl now?" Emily asked, rubbing her protruding stomach. She and Sam were on their way to beginning a family.

Sage rolled her eyes laughing, placing two cups of tea on the table. "It feels like I've just joined a cult."

"Well at least you aren't freaked out by them being wolves."

Sage sipped her tea and made the cutest face at Emily. "How could I be? You of all people should know that I understand. Remember my mom's situation that unfortunately was hereditary? I know what the boys are dealing with."

"Speaking of which, when are you planning on telling him? Embry, I mean. Have you even told Jake? I mean, he was like your best friend."

"He is," Sage defended, "but I haven't told him. It's…complicated, with both of them. I mean, Embry's my boyfriend but I don't think he's ready to know everything about me. And Jake," she paused for a moment, looking into her cup and biting the inside of her cheek, "it'll always be complicated with him."

Emily slowly put down the honey she was adding to her tea. "You don't have feelings for him, do you?"

Sage almost choked. "No! No. That's not why it's complicated. I don't know why I'm not telling him. Maybe I will." She paced around the kitchen, stopping back beside the table. "But, speaking hypothetically, what if I did have feelings for Jake?"

"Hypothetically?" Emily raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, hypothetically. I love Embry. Probably almost as much as you love Sam, if not more. I'm just curious about what you think since you brought it up."

Emily shrugged her shoulders. "You shouldn't have to be curious; you should know. Jake and Embry are best friends – the closest two of the pack. They've always been like that. So, other than breaking Embry's heart, especially since it took so long for him to imprint, you'll hurt Jake and the other boys. Jake and Embry are what keeps the rest of them together."

"Which means I'd cause a major disaster that might ruin the protection of the entire rez," Sage stated. "Would it have been different if I didn't see Embry romantically?"

"I don't know. Maybe. It'd still be weird. I haven't met any girl who hasn't seen her 'imprinter' as a lover."

Sage moved closer to the window and said, "I wish it was that simple for me." She took a plate of cookies from the counter and placed them in front of Emily. "When are the guys supposed to be coming back today?"

I hopped out of the tree that I was hiding in, landing on both of my feet. I went to the front door with a slight smile on my face. So I wasn't completely off in my thinking that she was in the same boat as I was.

Kind of relieved, I knocked on the door. There was still Embry to worry about.

Sage opened it, not even surprised to see me. Why was she never clueless about some things? "Jake. What are you doing here?" She had the door only open enough for her head to stick out.

"I brought your motorcycle –"

"Thanks. I'll come pick it up later. Is that all?" Her voice was shaky and fast. She spoke in such a rush that it was somewhat difficult to make out her words. "Jake I have to –"

"Avoid me some more," I finished her sentence. She lowered her head. "I'm sorry. It's just…I…Can we talk?"

She quickly checked over her shoulder. "I-I don't know if that would be such a good idea."

"Come on. It's your birthday, I have a gift for you, and you haven't spoken to me in a long time. I'm supposed to be your friend, right?"

I couldn't believe I was pulling a guilt trip to get her to come over. I stuffed both of my hands in my jean pockets and closed my eyes. Was this last year all over again? I was treating Sage the same way I did Bella.

"Of course, Jake." She replied in a hushed tone. After another moment of not blinking again, she slowly shut the door. Without warning, she hugged me tightly, her arms gripped around my waist, her face buried in my chest. She did not want to let go. "I missed you."

I then covered her in my own arms, inhaling the after-rain and jasmine aroma that had never left my mind. With ease I reached for her hand, laced her fingers in mine, then led her over to my place, into my room. I sat on my bed, now looking up at her. I pulled her toward me, feeling the greatest desire to taste her lips right then and there.

Instead, I contained myself, not wanting to cause any more pain than I already have. "Talk to me, Sage. I'm always here to talk."

She ran her fingers through my hair again. "That's the problem Jake. I can't just talk to you. Every time I come around you, I have to hold myself back from – from –"

"From wanting to be more than only your friend," I finished, playing with her right palm. "Obviously we both feel the same way. I overheard you and Emily talking today."

She jumped back, startling me. "How much did you hear?"

"Just the stuff about Embry and me. I can't remember much of anything else. Why?"

She put her one hand in her recently straightened hair and the other rested on her hip. "Nothing, nothing," she answered in her distress. "It's not important."

"Sage, I told you, I'm always here to talk." I put her hand in mine again, pulling her to me. "No matter what happens."

She pulled away a bit, "Jake, don't. I can't do this."

"Okay, okay." I reached into my back pocket and pulled out Sage's birthday present: a handmade necklace. "Happy birthday." Sage examined the gift between her fingers, in awe at the sight of it. "It's to match the bracelet you wear all the time, your –"

"My mother's. Did you make it yourself?" She twisted the pendant around, slowly tugging at the end. "Is this your fur?"

"So you'll think of me."

I stood behind her, tying the string around her neck. I made a knot, rubbing her shoulders when I finished. And here it was again. That gravity feeling. Only I was not the negative end being attracted to the positive.

I was the end affected by the attraction.

The two of us yearned for more. I could feel my heart racing, the thumping on the inside of my chest making my body shake even more. I caressed her cheeks in the palms of my hands, ready for anything to happen.

She chuckled nervously. "Don't you think Embry's going to notice that I'm wearing someone else's fur?"

I wanted desperately to tell her that I could care less and kiss her right then and there, but I didn't have the heart to. I couldn't hurt Embry anymore than I already have. I smiled and responded, "Just tell him it was a friendly thing. No strings attached."

"That was corny," she retorted, punching me in the arm before giving me another hug. "I should go."

"So soon? We didn't even really talk about anything."

She bit her bottom lip. "Yeah, I know. It's just, I'm sure Embry and the others are coming back soon and it'd be better if I weren't here, in your room. Alone. With you."

"Embry still won't let you come see me huh?" I joked, walking her to my front door.

Her countenance changed and there was a tinge of anger in her voice. "Embry doesn't 'let' me do anything. He's not my father." She took a quick breath in. "It's just…I'd rather not argue with him."

"Oh. Well, sorry." I was a little confused, but didn't bother asking. Her entire demeanor screamed, "don't ask."

"No, I'm sorry. I'll just go now. Thanks for the present."

"You're welcome."