Clare Goldwothy's pov:

I shuffled around my room getting ready for bed. I just wish Sophie would listen to me for once! KC Guthrie had been horrible to not only me, but to Jenna Middleton as well and his son had given me no reason to believe he was any different. In fact Tyson had reminded me of KC in every way. They had similar features and the way Tyson moved, talked, and acted resembled KC. Maybe I was just overreacting. But I did have a good excuse to not want Sophie to see Tyson. I just didn't want her to get hurt.

Oh how the times have changed. I have now become the jerk parent who tries to control their kids life.

I tried to go to sleep. Eli was still working on that damn story of his so I knew not to expect him anytime soon. The house was so quiet and my thoughts started to drift. I started to think about how I had gotten here. How all this happened. It seems like it wasn't that long ago that I was a sophomore at Degrassi. Yet it seems so distant at the same time. Like a bland memory that ends up in the back of your mind. I had taken that year for granted. That was the last year I got to be a kid. Junior year everything changed...

Before I could stop myself I was thinking back to that year. I guess I should tell you what happened... I'll start from the day I found out that nothing would ever be the same. The first day of the saga that got me where I am today.

My hands shook as I looked up at myself in the mirror. I looked like a complete mess, but I didn't care, I had bigger problems. I took a deep breath and looked down. My heart stopped. Positive. The stupid little stick basically just gave me the finger and told me my life was over. But this couldn't be happening. I, Saint Clare Edwards, could not be pregnant.

All of a sudden there was a hard knock on the door, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Clare what are you doing in there? You've been in there for over an hour." I heard Jake, my soon to be stepbrother and ex-boyfriend, call from the other side of the door.

I jumped at the sound of his voice, he sounded annoyed.

I was too upset to answer him, so I stayed quiet. Finally I heard Jake sigh and walk away and my thoughts went back to my... problem.

Eli and I had only had sex once. We were at his house after the fall dance 3 months ago. We started out just kissing but things got a bit out of control. We were stupid, didn't use protection and now we were going to pay.

I had changed a lot since starting Degrassi. Saint Clare was long gone. I looked down at the finger that used to hold my abstinence ring but it was now bare. I hadn't worn it at all since that night because wearing it was a lie. A lie to myself, a lie to my family, and a lie to God. This thought made the tears come and after they came, I couldn't stop them. I cried until my eyes were completely dry. Then I left the bathroom and headed towards my room, hoping not to run into anyone on the way. I had buried the test in the bottom of the trashcan, figuring no one would search through a pile of garbage. I guess I could've been smarter about that too, but I was just too upset to care.

Once in my room I thought about who to tell first. I knew I would have to tell people eventually, I might as well get it over with. Then I remembered Alli. She had gotten me the pregnancy test because I was too scared to and had also been in denial. I had told her I wanted to be alone when I found out and she didn't argue.

"Hey!" Alli picked up after one ring.

"It was positive." I said my voice came out in a monotone.

"Oh my god." Was all she said.

I waited for it to really sink in.

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea." I answered truthfully.

"Well you should probably tell Eli soon."

"I know, I just don't want this to be happening." I said as more tears dripped down my cheeks.

"I know," she said her voice soft "but you need to tell Eli. He will want to know."

"What if he leaves me like KC left Jenna?" My voice broke a bit at the thought of raising a baby alone like Jenna was.

"He won't. He loves you Clare."

I knew this was true Eli did love me and I couldn't see him leaving me alone in this situation, but you never know.

"I'll tell him today. Better to rip it off like a band-aid." I said finally,

"Ok. If you need me call me." she said

"I will, but I'm hoping I don't." I said almost smiling.

20 minutes after we hung up I forced myself to call Eli.

"Hey Clare." The sound of Eli's voice made me calm down a bit.

"Meet me at our bench in 10." I said quickly.

"Ok... Is there something wrong?"

You have no idea... I thought.

"Just meet me, I'll explain everything then."

"Ok..." Eli said sounding a bit unsure.

I took the longest possible route to our spot and walked very slowly. When I finally got there Eli was waiting for me.

Eli and I had gotten back together over the summer. He was now taking his pills everyday and I was trying to control my dramatics. And we just worked. Being with him was like breathing, it just came naturally. I didn't have to think too much before I spoke and I trusted him with everything. He did the same. We made a pact when we got back together, no more secrets.

I took a deep breath and walked towards him. He stood up to greet me but I told him to sit back down.

"You're going to want to be sitting for this." I said sitting down next to him. It was silent for a long time while I chewed on my fingernails trying to figure out how to say what had to be said.

"Clare, what's going on?" Eli asked sounding worried.

Better to rip it off like band-aid I heard my own voice say in the back of my mind.

"Eli... I'm..." I couldn't get the rest out, I just couldn't. Tears burned in my eyes.

"What?" Eli asked softly.

"Promise me you'll never leave me." I said my voice shaking.

"I promise. Now please tell me what's going on." He sounded so worried, it made me feel even worse.

"Eli... I'm... I'm pregnant." As I said the last word the tears fell from my eyes and I wiped them away.

"What?" A look of pure terror appeared on his face.

"I'm so sorry." I said the tears still falling.

Eli quickly changed his expression into a fake smile. "Sorry? This is good news isn't it?" But he didn't seem convinced. "I mean it's a bit soon to be having a kid but we'll make it work, we always do."

I was surprised at how quickly Eli composed himself. These optimistic words weren't his. They were fake, just a show to make me feel better. They didn't make me feel better, in fact they made me cry harder

"I'm here for you Clare. I'm not leaving, ever."

These were the words I had been waiting for. It made me feel relieved to know that I had someone in this with me.

I buried my face in his chest and he put his arms around me and let me cry.

It was about 8 when I got home that night. Eli had spent the rest of the day with me trying to cheer me up. It had worked a bit, enough to even get me to smile a couple times. So when I walked in the front door I was in a fairly good mood. That changed quickly. I walked into the kitchen looking for my mother, but instead found Jake sitting at the table doing nothing but staring off into space.

"They went out." He said as I walked past him.

"On a Wednesday night?"

"Yep." He answered simply.

I turned to walk away.

"Clare, can I talk to you about something?" Jake asked.

"Sure. Is something wrong?" I'm not going to lie, I really didn't care if something was bothering Jake. I just wanted him to shut up so I could go upstairs and go to bed.

"Well I'm not sure... You see I was taking out the trash as usual and one of the bags broke, the bag from the bathroom."

Oh my god... Was all I could think. That and Please don't say what I think you're about to say.

"And well... There was a positive pregnancy test in there."

My heart started pounding.

"Please Jake," I started, ready to plead.

"I'm sorry Clare... but I think your mom is pregnant."

I almost started laughing.

"My mom?" I said trying to mask my amusement as disbelief.

"Yes. It has to be. I mean unless it's yours." he said with a laugh.

His laugh infuriated me.

"Would it be that unbelievable?"

"Yes." Jake said with a smile.

"Whatever Jake, think what you want. I could care less." I said turning around once again to leave.

"Wait, Clare what's going on? It isn't yours... Is it?" he asked.

I turned back to him slowly. He was looking at me concerned.

For a second I actually considered telling Jake. Then I came to my senses and realized if I told Jake I was telling everyone else. I knew he wouldn't keep my secret and I couldn't blame him. I hadn't exactly given him many reasons to like me.

"Of course not, I'm Clare Edwards." I said rolling my eyes. And before he could say another word I was out the door.

I went up to my room and got in bed. But I didn't go to sleep, I couldn't. What if Jake figured it out? What if he told my mom? It was then that I realized that this was going to be much worse than I had thought and that was saying something.

To my horror, a month later I was starting to show. Eli kept telling me we had to tell our parents, but I just wasn't ready yet. I knew the day would have to to come eventually though. Jake had become increasingly suspicious and I knew a confrontation with him would come very soon. I just didn't think I would have to face both of these problems in the same day.

It was a Saturday, Eli picked me up that morning but instead of taking me on a date like I expected he took me to his house, to talk to his parents. I was furious. When we pulled up I hadn't exactly figured it out yet, but I knew something was off.

"What are we doing here?" I asked.

"Clare... We have to tell them." he said staring straight ahead refusing to look at me.

"No we don't! Not yet!" I shouted at him.

We had been through this a million times, but this time was different. This time he set me up.

"Clare we have to. I can't keep this from them much longer."

This made me feel a little guilty. I guess that guilt is what made me get out of Eli's car and start walking towards his house. Eli didn't catch up with me until I was at the front door.

"Clare... I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you. We don't have to do it today." he said looking into my eyes this time.

"No it's fine, whatever." I said sharply, not meeting his eyes.

I turned towards the door but Eli stopped me.

"Clare look at me."

I reluctantly looked up at him.

"I'm sorry. We can do this later. Whatever you want to do, I'll do it."

"I want to do this, I need to do this. I mean we're having a kid. We have to start being responsible about this."

Eli nodded so I opened the door.

Conveniently both his parents were already sitting together in the living room.

"Mom, Dad can we talk?" Eli asked them sounding surprisingly calm.

"Sure, sit down." his mom answered.

Eli led me into the living room and we sat down across from his parents.

His parents seemed a little surprised to see me but happy too.

Although Eli was being very calm about this, I was freaking out. My hands were even shaking. Eli noticed this and took my hand. I noticed when he did this, that his hands were a bit shaky too.

"So, what's on your mind?" his mom asked after we were quiet for a couple minutes.

Eli tightened his grip on my hand.

"Well Clare and I have some... news. And I'm not sure how you're going to take it." Eli said his calm voice shaking a little.

"Eli please don't tell me she's pregnant." his mom said in that angry and disappointed parent voice.

Eli just looked down.

"Well I can't say I'm proud... But it was brave of you to tell us." His mom said after a long silence. Then she looked at me. "How far along are you?"

"I ummm about 4 months." I stuttered.

"You should probably get to a doctor. Have you told your parents yet?"

I shook my head. His mom gave me a sympathetic look.

"Well it's not going to be easy, but were here to support you guys in whatever you choose to do."

I couldn't believe how cool his parents were being about this. Maybe my mom wouldn't be so bad about it either. She had been a lot less intense since the divorce and a lot happier since she started dating Jake's dad. But she hadn't changed completely. I still needed some time for that but sadly I didn't get it.

After a long discussion with Eli's parents there were a lot of things on my mind. I knew I wanted to keep this baby and Eli did too, but I didn't know if we could. We were so young and this wasn't about us anymore it was about the baby and what was best for him or her.

Eli drove me home. My mom and Jake's dad were out again. So it was just me and Jake.

"Hey Clare." he said to me as I walked in.

"Hi..." I said.

"Can we talk?"

"About what?" I asked irritated.

"I know you're pregnant."

"What?"

"You have to tell your mom Clare..."

"When did I ask for your advice?" I snapped.

"I'm just trying to help." He said

"Well you aren't. I'm not telling her she'll hate me." I said tears burning in my eyes once again.

"Sure she'll be a little mad at first, but she'll get over it."

"You obviously don't know my mother."

"She might surprise you."

"I'm not telling her."

"If you don't, I will."

"You wouldn't." I said glaring at him.

"I will if I have to." Jake said glaring right back.

"Fine I'll tell her when she gets home. Happy?"

"Yes." Jake said with a nod.

I didn't tell Eli what I was doing because this was something I had to do myself. When my mother got home I asked to talk to her alone. We sat down at the kitchen table.

She looked at me expectantly "There was something you wanted to talk about?"

"Yes... Mom... I'm... Ummm... I'm pregnant. I'm so sorry but I'm really scared and I need your help." I said in a quiet voice.

"Clare Diana Edwards! I expected better from you! Did you learn anything from church? I knew I shouldn't have sent you to public school!" my mom was full out yelling at me which was expected. "Who's the father of this child?"

"It's Eli's" I whispered.

"I should have known. I told you he was a bad idea!"

"Mom it's not all Eli's fault."

"I don't want you to see that boy again. We'll find a nice family to adopt the baby."

"What? Mom, I am not giving up my baby! And I'm staying with Eli!"

"Not as long as you live under my roof!"

"Mom what are you saying?"

"I thought I raised you better than this... Clare I want you out. I just got my life back together and I'm not going to let you ruin it!"

"Mom! Do you have any idea how selfish you sound right now?"

"I'm sorry Clare. There are shelters for girls in the same situation as you. You will do a lot better there."

"Mom! I am not going to a shelter! I don't want to!"

"Fine. You have an hour to get your stuff together and find a place to go."

"Are you kicking me out?"

"If you want to think of it that way."

I jumped up and ran up to my room. I was sobbing by the time I got there. I tried to call Eli but he wasn't answering so I pulled out my suitcase and started packing.

I was almost done when Jake appeared in my doorway.

"What happened?" He asked.

"I'm leaving."

"Clare you can't. Just stay here things will get better."

"Jake, she kicked me out."

"What? Where are you going to go?"

"I don't know. Eli's I guess."

"I'll drive you there."

"No." I said zipping up my bag. "I think you've done enough."

"Clare, I didn't..." But I brushed past him before he could finish.

It was 11:30 when I knocked on Eli's door. Eli answered.

"Clare?"

I started crying "I told my mom... Can I stay with you?"

"Of course."

Eli let me move into his room. That night we stayed up all night talking about the baby.

"So if it's a boy what do you want to name it?" Eli asked me.

"Well I've always liked the name Lucas." I answered truthfully. "How about you pick the middle name?"

"Ok, how about Adam." He said with a smile.

"Lucas Adam Goldsworthy. I like it." I said.

"What if it's a girl?"

"Sophie." I said without a thought. "And the middle name?"

He thought for a while. "Rose. Sophie Rose Goldsworthy." he smirked at the sound of it. "She'll be an over dramatic dark genius I can see it now."

We both laughed.

"Hey Lucas/Sophie how's it going in there?" he said to my stomach.

Then the most remarkable thing happened. Sophie kicked. I grabbed Eli's hand and put it on my stomach.

"Talk again!" I said excitedly.

"Why? I don't think that's..."

She kicked again.

Something strange crossed Eli's face.

"Wow." He said smiling up at me.

"I think she likes the sound of your voice."

"What are you thinking about?" Eli's voice brought me back to the present.

"Nothing... I think I may have been a bit tough on Sophie about that boy." I admitted.

"A bit?" he said smirking at me.

"Ok, a lot."

"You were just trying to protect her." he said lying down beside me.

"I love you." I said softly.

"I love you too Clare." He said and then kissed my forehead.

And with that I could finally get to sleep.

AN: This my favorite chapter yet! I love Eclare! My birthday was yesterday so this is like my birthday present to myself! Please review! :D