AN: Ok, this chapter is a little bit shorter, but it's a necessary stepping stone, so please be a little more patient. I know some of you want to know the back story to this, but don't worry you will find it all out eventually, you'll just have to stick with me though. I know that I'm spoiling you with two updates in one day but I wrote the chapter and just had to post it. I want to get to the rest of the story as much as you guys. Anyway, enough of me, on with the chapter.
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Twilight, but I don't. But I'm off to ask Stephanie if I can borrow her Texan god, then I'm off to find a tree and a boulder. =P
We, Jasper and myself, had decided not to try and romanticise my change. He was not going to bite just after we'd made love, or anything like that, not only did I not want to associate sex with burning in my own personal hell for three days, I wasn't a hopeless romantic anymore either. Yes I loved Jasper, yes I wanted to be with him for eternity, but that didn't mean I had to be constantly girly and mushy about it. And in all honesty being able to be sarcastic and bitchy to him was fun, especially since he always gave as good as he got. This was why we had decided that we'd make it an intimate moment, it would not be filled with expectations well above what it deserved, the only thing I expected was for Jasper to stop before draining me dry, and to wake from my own burning three days later, able to call myself his forever. That was it.
So it boiled down to us spending an evening reading together in our room. Carlisle was in his study down the hall and the others were scattered around the house and garden, all waiting to step in if necessary. Soon I started getting tired so I set my book down, settling into Jaspers embrace, his cool chest pressing against my back as I leant my head back on his shoulder, looking up at him with a small smile.
"It's time Major." I whispered as he leant down to kiss me softly on the lips. It was a chaste kiss by our usual standards but it was filled with love and longing, I felt safe as his arms tightened around me a little, holding me in place as he pressed a soft kiss to the pulse point in my neck. His venom coated teeth tore my flesh like a hot knife through butter; I clenched my jaw to keep from crying out as fire started to spread through my veins, rushing around my body. I closed my eyes tightly, praying that it would be over soon.
The darkness descended over me sometime later, but the fire roared on. Part of me wished I could see the burning flames, just for something to distract me from the pain. I lost track of time, I tried counting seconds, the heartbeats, even sheep at one point but nothing helped and I decided to simply survive through what felt like an unsurvivable situation. I had been through too much in my life to give up now. Besides, even though I felt like there was no way the fire would ever stop, like I was going to spend eternity in pain, something in the back of mind told me it wasn't true, there was something that would make it go away. Something on the other side that I had to make it for. I clung to that idea. Easier said than done.
I didn't notice at first that the fire had left the tips of my fingers and toes, but as soon as I did I focused on them, they didn't hurt. Eventually the fire retreated a little more, leaving all of my fingers and toes pain free. But with every cell of my body that was freed from the pain another flame ignited in my heart. I don't know how long it took before everywhere except my heart was free of the fire. The flames had multiplied and concentrated, and I knew that I was surely about to die, my heart would explode. It was beating so rapidly that it was deafening, I wanted to scream to try and relieve some of the intense pain, but my jaw wouldn't comply. I wanted to tear my heart out just to stop it from bursting, but my limbs refused to move.
The silence was deafening. My heart had burnt out with one final beat and taken the fire with it. There was no pain anymore. There was nothing. I was nowhere. But then why was there something solid beneath me? Why could I feel soothing caresses on my palm? I frowned in thought for a moment before the memory surged back to me. Jasper! He'd bitten me. He'd changed me. I was a vampire now. I gasped in realisation and my eyes shot open.
I was inundated with information. The air was filled with smells, honey, lilies, bleach, wet grass, maple, chocolate and sawdust. I could taste the dust motes I'd inhaled as they settled on my tongue and in my lungs. My eyes had opened to an expanse of white but there were so many shades in that one color. And I knew that a ceiling should be smooth but it was full of cracks and dints, so small I shouldn't be able to see them but they were clear as crystal to me now. I could hear the breathing of six vampires in another part of the house, three of them were pacing. But there was one beside me, staying stock still, not breathing, not moving, just waiting. And the pull in my chest screamed at me that it was Jasper, that I had to be with him, see him. That thought spurred me into motion. In twelve hundredths of a second I had sat up to look at my glorious angel when just as quickly I found myself crouched defensively in the corner of the room furthest from him.
My mind absently noted that we weren't in mine and Jaspers room, but I didn't pay attention. I was focused on the vampire before me and warring within myself.
The scars. They screamed danger. They made my instincts tell me to run far away. But there was also a part of me telling me to get as close to him as I could, to devour him because he was mine. I took a moment, five hundredths of a second, to get a good look at the blonde vampire so I could decide what to do. He was shirtless, but was wearing faded light blue jeans which hung from his hips. He had blonde hair and golden eyes, though there were flecks of red and orange swirling in them. His stance was one of surrender, hands held up, palms facing me. His torso was covered in a layer of scars, they extended down his arms and there were a couple at his neck. I shivered at the thought of someone who could withstand that much. I took another breath and the blonde spoke. He still wasn't Jasper, my mind hadn't reconciled this dangerous being with the image in my murky human memories.
"Bella." There was a pleading note to his voice and I relaxed a little when he didn't approach me. "Sugar, it's just me. I ain't gonna hurt ya." His drawl was fascinating and sent a shiver of lust through me, as well as the recognition I needed. I was Bella. I was Jasper's Bella. I was his Bella. In a moment I was in his arms, my mouth attacking his, needing to taste him. Needing to claim him. He was MINE!
"Yeah Darlin', I'm yours." He chuckled, I hadn't realised I'd said anything, but I purred happily as he confirmed my thoughts. "But before we get too carried away cowgirl, we need to get you fed, and then the family are desperate to meet you." He spoke firmly, and managed to push me away while holding me closer, it was a strange experience.
"I missed you Jazz." I whispered, my eyes fixed on his. My voice was so different, melodic, tinkling. It sounded strange and yet so right at the same time.
"I missed you too Sugar." He smiled, though he looked a little worried, I cocked my head to the side in silent question, but he just shook his head in answer before leading me out of the room and out of the house, keeping me away from the others I knew were there.
My first hunt went well. I discovered I loved running, and I was faster than Jasper. I preferred the taste of Grizzly to deer. And fucking against trees is mind blowing. I also learnt I would need to take a spare set of clothes next time because Jasper has no respect for a girls clothes, not that I had much respect for his either but...never mind.
Once we were home, showered and changed (Jasper had to help me because I kept ripping the material) Jasper led me downstairs to the waiting crowd. Recognition of all of them rushed at me at once, along with all the emotions they evoked, even though I didn't truly understand some of the jumbles. The onslaught caused Jasper to pause mid step for a moment as he tried to deal with what he was reading from me. I was hugged by each of them in turn, and felt an overwhelming amount of familial love settle across the room. However the happiness faltered when Esme went to hug my Jasper. I had growled lowly at her and moved in front of my mate before she reached him. She looked a little shocked, but understanding as Jasper chuckled and tugged my hand to pull me up beside him. "Calm down Darlin', Esme meant no harm."
"I know." I sighed as the flash of possessive anger subsided. "I'm sorry Esme. I didn't mean to...growl at you."
"It's fine dear. I forgot what it could be like having a newborn around, you seem so much more in control than Emmett or Rose were." Esme observed kindly.
"Control?" I almost laugh the word. "I feel all over the place, I can't focus. On anything. I keep oscillating between scared, elated, safe..." And horny. But I wasn't about to tell my 'mother' that, or the rest of my family.
"Yet here you stand Darlin', not hurtin' no one." Jasper breathes on my neck, and I can feel his pride and reassurance wash over me.
The sunrise finds all of us sat in the living room talking, trying to figure out what I can and can't remember about being a human. In all the time we talk Jasper never once loosens his iron grip around my waist, and a couple of times I'm glad for it as I try to lash out someone for something entirely too trivial, we both know he can't physically stop me at the moment but just the knowledge that to get to my target I'd have to hurt my Jasper makes me calm myself down. I would never hurt him. Oh, and there are six hundred and twenty seven bricks making up the fireplace, something else I have learnt today.
My mind is buzzing with so many things and it starts to make me irritable and angry. I start snapping at people for even daring to look at Jasper, and even a part of my brain can recognise how crazy that is, so with care Jasper eases me off his lap and takes me for my second hunt in as many days. Thank goodness vampires can't get fat if I keep eating like this.
Four deer and a round of boulder sex later, my mood has definitely improved.