Letters from France

The two days of her fiancé's visit were over too soon for Edith. They had spent every second possible together. They had gone out to look at the progress of the harvest and discussed everything from technical details of machinery and recent advancements to the relative merits of various forms of marketing. This was more than Edith had experienced with Sir Anthony. Not only where she and Bill well suited mentally, their physical connection was strong and she savored every touch and kiss as though she were saving them up until she could see him again.

The second night of his visit he made love to her almost desperately, like a drowning man clinging to life. Afterwards when he thought she was asleep, she could feel the silent sobs wracking his body. She wrapped her arm around him and pulled him tight against her but never opened her eyes or made a sound. Whatever demons he was fighting and what was up coming with his position as a flier, he couldn't tell her. She could only offer the comfort of her body and hope for the best.

Edith accompanied him outside when he was ready to leave the following morning. She had been relaxed and happier than she had ever been in her entire life and she hated to see him leave.

"I'll miss you," she said.

"I haven't gotten you a ring yet. This will have to do," he said. He pulled off his class ring he had on his pinky and pushed it on the center finger of her left hand. It was too big to fit on any of her other slender fingers. He held both her hands in his. "I know I haven't told you before. I love you, Edith," he said before he pulled her towards him and kissed her.

"I love you too," she said blushing madly when Branson came around the corner to turn the propeller as instructed when Bill would need to start the engine.

"I'll write as often as I can," he said before he moved to the cockpit of the plane and signaled Branson to turn the propeller. Once the engine was revving, Bill taxied the plane onto the lawn and took off. He did a slow circle around the house before he headed off towards the coast. Edith stood watching him till he was out of sight. She glanced over to see Branson still standing near the house watching the plane fade into the distance as well.

"Did you need anything else, Milady?" he inquired.

"No, you can go," she said in dismissal. Edith walked back into the house and headed up to her room to change into trousers. She wanted to go out and check on some things with produce that was being sent to market. Strange she thought to herself. I haven't tripped on the stairs even once in the last two days. Maybe some of Bill's dexterity is rubbing off on me.

Letters began arriving within the next few days addressed to Lady Edith from Captain William Bellamy. She blushed and fluttered over every one and didn't let Mary's catty remarks diminish her joy in any way. Bill wrote to tell her he had heard back from his parents and expected his mother to write to Edith soon. His other letters mostly contained declarations of his feelings for her and inquiries and comments on the details of her activities on the home farm she had written about. He couldn't discuss anything about the war or his part in it. Suddenly, the letters stopped arriving for a few days and began coming in batches of two or three at a time. All were signed Somewhere in France and each mentioned how much he looked forward to the day they would be married. His CO had given permission for their wedding. The only thing missing was word on his leave.

To Edith's relief her monthly had shown up six days after Bill had left and she had written to tell him she was definitely not with child and not to worry about a thing. She would be waiting for him when he returned. She heard from his mother in early October and had written back saying how much she looked forward to being able to meet his family. Everyone was noticing the change in Edith's disposition. She had stopped baiting Mary and was letting more and more of Mary's disparaging comments go. Edith was still somewhat uncomfortable in social situations especially when her elder sister was present, but at the same time was more supportive of other people around her and was becoming more and more involved in the running of the estate.

"Love suits Edith," her grandmother had commented one day when she was visiting with Lady Cora. "She looks almost attractive on any given day."

"She does seem terribly happy with him," Lady Cora commented. "I just wish this dreadful war was over and they were settled."

In late October, Branson had earned three days off. Edith offered to do the errands for the estate in his absence and run her grandmother around. She stopped by the village post office and picked up a large bundle of mail for Downton. When Edith got back to the house she took the mail to Carson's office for sorting. She hadn't had any letters for the last six days and was anxious to see if there was anything for her. Once the mail was sorted, she was happy to discover there were three letters from Bill and one addressed to her from a Major Bertrand. A small packet with the return address of Captain Charles Sinclair who had visited last summer was also included in the stack. She was puzzled by the package but tucked it in her pile of mail to open once she was alone.

She took her letters and headed out to the Greek columns away from the house. It was one of her favorite spots to open her letters where she wouldn't be disturbed. She opened all of Bill's letters first and read them in chronological order. She smiled at the references he made to her last letters and his complaints about the weather and rations they were receiving at the aerodrome in France. She opened the letter from Major Bertrand only to have her smile slowly fade and the tears stream unchecked down her face. Her vision was so blurred she couldn't read the words on the page. She sat stone still until the late afternoon light started to fade. Edith collected her letters and headed towards the house. She felt as though her body was made of stone as she climbed the stairs towards her room. When she got to her wardrobe she opened it, took out her black dress, gloves and shoes and put them on. She took the fancy clips out of her hair and placed them into a box on her dressing table.

She opened her writing desk and placed Bill's last three letters into the bundle of previous letters. The winged pin he had given her when they first started going out joined the letters and she fingered the ring still in place on her finger. Slowly as if in a fog, she rose and took Major Bertrand's letter and the packet from Captain Sinclair downstairs to find her father.

"Edith, why are you dressed like that?" her father began. "What's happened?"

She walked to him and held out the letters before she silently turned to sit on the red sofa in the library. She stared straight ahead not seeing her mother or Mary enter the room.

"Robert what on earth?" her mother questioned.

He motioned for Lady Cora and Lady Mary to sit with Edith.

"Captain William Bellamy was killed on the 23 of October 1915 while landing his plane at an aerodrome in France," he read.

Both women gasped. Lady Cora reached to cover Edith's hand with hers until Edith withdrew her hand from her mother's and folded her hands in her lap.

"There was a quick change in temperature that caused ice to form on the ground. His plane skidded on landing and hit a barbed wire fence. It caused the plane to flip. He was killed instantly," Robert explained. "There is a second letter here from Captain Charles Sinclair who visited with Bill last summer. He is returning Edith's letters they found in his possessions along with the picture he was carrying of Edith."

"How terrible," Lady Cora said. "Edith you should lay down. You've had a terrible shock." Lady Cora stood and tried to encourage Edith to get to her feet.

Finally Mary went to her sister's side and said, "Come along Edith, you need to rest." Something in Mary's voice finally galvanized Edith into motion. She stood and headed up the stairs to her room, with the two women beside her. Edith remained in a dreamlike state for the next two days. Dr. Clarkson was called and he assured them the shock would wear off as Edith accepted her loss. Mary, Cora and Anna took turns checking on Edith throughout the day. Although she ate a bit and drank some tea or water when offered she remained silent. On the morning of the third day Edith had disappeared from her bedroom. A search of the house was undertaken. They found her an hour later on the bed in the Red Bedroom fast asleep with tearstains on her cheeks. She slept through well into the afternoon. When she awoke, she got up, went for a bath and got dressed. She went down to join her family for tea.

"I'm glad to see you're up and about, Edith," her father said. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Much thank you," she said. "When is Sybil expected home? I'm looking forward to seeing her."

"Another three weeks."

"Is Branson back? The town car was acting up while he was away. I wanted to tell him about it."

"He got back day before last," Mary volunteered.

"I'll go and discuss it with him later," Edith said.

"How long are you planning to wear mourning?" Mary inquired.

"At least three months, possibly six," Edith replied. "I'm not sure. Bill wanted me to be happy. He wouldn't want me to be sad and grieving for too long. We weren't like that."

Mary wanted to point out that Edith had only known him for four months but bit her tongue. There were no barbed comments, no sliding glances or sneaky remarks coming out of Edith. She seemed calm and detached from the petty nuances that had made up her life until last summer. Greif had changed Edith and Mary felt herself mired in the quagmire of the mess she had made of her relationship with Matthew Crawley and the scandal of her affair with Kamal Pamuk. Perhaps it was better to do things as Edith had done. She had found someone who cared for her and accepted his proposal, even if it had only lasted a few months.