Hi everyone. I'm not sure I really like this chapter, but I think I'm just a little uninspired and stressed, and thus I am over analyzing and lacking a bit in description. I wanted to get a chapter out though, since I didn't yesterday.
Loki almost could not believe what he was seeing. For so long he had toiled to found such an article that would give him the power he so rightfully deserved.
Buried in the depths of SHIELD, hidden away from the universe, was the Tesseract, nestled safely away from any devious soul. It was small and compact, but held such magnificent power. The cosmic cube gave off a faint blue glow that seemed almost hypnotizing. Loki could feel the warmth that the small power source gave off, even though he was only using Selvig's eyes. He could feel the power, thick in the air.
"What is it?" Doctor Selvig asked as he looked at the small cube, buzzing with electricity.
"Power, doctor," Nick Fury told him. "Unlimited power."
Loki tried to contain his joy. He glanced at his pocket watch and grimaced. Much against his will, he would have to leave SHIELD for the time being. He had another appointment with Lucy, and would have to leave soon in order to get there in time. He didn't want to agitate Lucy, especially when he was so close to having everything he needed –both Lucy and the Tesseract.
Loki took his leave of Dr. Selvig and returned to his apartment. Quickly, he changed back into his normal mortal attire and magicked a little device most mortals called cellular phones. He slipped the sleek model into a small blue box and departed.
Loki walked with a renewed sense of pride. His plan was effortlessly being carried out, with little to no struggle. The only wild card in the situation was Lucy's habit of falling to pieces at the slightest bit of catastrophe. The poor girl couldn't handle a little bit of change, and such temperamental outbursts could send Loki to his ruin. He knew he would have to keep Lucy satisfied at all costs.
And that very though irked him. He felt like some sort of servant to her, making sure her little temper didn't get out of order, wiping away her tears whenever something went astray. She was a damned child, not a grown woman. But he was so close to victory, he put the annoyance out of his mind, and rang the bell to her apartment.
Lucy wiped her hands on a cloth and set aside the painting she had been working on. She had two finished, not counting the portrait of Will. With each stroke of the brush, she felt the weight on her shoulders lift a bit. Her heart began to beat a little softer, and her head stopped throbbing. For once in her life, she was refusing to break down. She was facing her problems head on, even when she thought she might collapse from exhaustion.
The bell to her apartment buzzed. Lucy bounded to the door with excitement and quickly unlatched the locks. She felt happier than ever to see Will, especially after yesterday. She didn't understand why, but he seemed to be a little more honest. He didn't give her overzealous compliments, and didn't try to hit on her. It had been a very friendly encounter, and Lucy was thrilled at the thought of seeing him again.
Lucy swung open the door, and her heart tumbled when she saw him. Truly, it seemed as though he became more handsome by the day. She admired his broad, strong shoulders, and the way his neck was craned, looking at her with peculiarity. She loved the way his hands folded together, his fingers like spindling vines. She loved the black tie that was a bit askew today. She wanted to reach out and stroke his sharp jaw line and be wrapped in his arms. She bit her lip and reminded herself that she must keep such wants in the back of her head. Such desires could be messy if she actually carried them out.
"Good afternoon Lucy. You look a bit tired," Will greeted her. Lucy welcomed him in and quickly pulled her hair into a neat bun.
Lucy, truthfully, was exhausted. She couldn't remember the last time she had laid in bed. She couldn't remember the last time she even napped. For the past few days she had been up every moment she could stand, painting. Her determination and a pot of coffee were the only things standing in her way of collapsing. Some of her best work had been driven by lack of sleep and hard work. Often, her most creative and meticulous paintings were created in the middle of the night. Her mind always seemed to work double time when the sun set.
"Yes, just a bit stressed I suppose," Lucy shrugged. She rubbed her eye a bit and held back a yawn from escaping her mouth.
"I picked you up a little something," Will smiled. He held out a small blue box with a white ribbon tied elegantly at the top. Lucy gave him a peculiar look and took the box from his hands. She pulled the ribbon carefully and opened the top.
"Will, you didn't have to do this," Lucy grinned. She took the cell phone from the box and shook her head. She let a breathless laugh escape her lips.
"I still felt pretty terrible about breaking your last one, so I picked one up for you," Will explained. Lucy struggled to figure out how to turn on the sleek piece of technology. Will chuckled at her, and pressed the square button at the top. "And now, you have no excuse not to call me."
Lucy looked up at Will, who was standing particularly close to her. She was reminded of his large stature, and felt comforted by his size. She kept her gaze on the glossy new phone to keep herself from resorting to girlish giggles.
"I made sure it was your old number. I'm sure you must have many calls left unattended."
The phone buzzed with unread texts and calls, mostly from Roxie. Lucy felt a wave of guilt wash over her as she remembered she had neglected to tell Roxie…well everything. She made a mental note to call her after Will left, and explain the details of her suddenly hectic life.
"I'll deal with them later," Lucy shrugged. She placed the phone on the kitchen counter. "As of right now, finishing this painting is the priority."
"Trying to get rid of me so quickly, Lucy?" Will joked.
"Wh-what? No, not at all Will! I didn't mean it-"
"Relax, little bird. It was only a bit of a joke," He grinned deviously. He towered over her five foot two stature. Lucy could feel Will radiating something, but she couldn't quite figure out what. Her heart sped up and hit against her ribs, threatening to crack each and every one. She felt every single nerve in her body tingle with excitement. She wasn't entirely sure if she was fond of what he had evoked, but it was a vast improvement from the horrors she used to sense from him. She wasn't entirely sure what she had done, but it seemed to have worked.
Lucy blinked nervously at the new nickname he had made for her. She had never really been called anything other than Lucy or the occasional "Luce". But the way Will had called her "little bird" had made her feel overwhelmingly happy. She didn't feel uncomfortable or nervous as she had before when he had kissed her hand. Something was different this time…
Lucy's dark eyes met with Will's beautifully green ones, and for a moment, Lucy felt her heart seize its beating. She felt a sudden and unexpected burst of power that blossomed in her chest. Her fingers burned with an intensity she had never felt, and for a moment, she swore her vision was beginning to fade.
The cell phone rang abruptly, and Lucy broke the silence. She picked up the phone and frowned at the number. It did not have a caller id, but she had memorized the number from the many calls she received throughout her life.
"I'm sorry, but I have to answer this," Lucy murmured. She left the living room and entered the bedroom. She shut the door behind her and stared at the screen for a moment. She didn't want to answer, but she knew she had to. Her stomach churned with nervous acid.
"Hello?" she answered nervously, bracing for bad news.
"Good afternoon Ms. Levins, its Doctor Russo. I'm calling to talk about Max's new test regime. It appears as though we will have to run more in depth tests due to a change in policy at the hospice. I believe you will be sent a new bill shortly-"
"I'm sorry, but I did not approve a new test regime," Lucy said, her voice losing a bit of life. "Dr. Russo, you know very well I can barely afford to pay for the room. You can't possibly expect me to pay more," Lucy said, the vomit rising in her throat.
"Lucy, I'm sorry but there is not much I can do. We are required to run a new set of tests in order to moniter Max efficiently-"
"That is bullshit!" Lucy exploded, tears spilling from her eyes. "You and I both know the only reason this is happening is because you know I can't afford it. And if I can't pay for his life support, you and all your little colleagues will pull the plug like you've been wanting to the past eight years," Lucy bursted.
Lucy had never in her life yelled so fiercely at she did at Dr. Russo. Just when she thought she might be able to pull it together, to save Max another month from being lost to her forever, another little bill comes through the mail. Lucy was only 22 and made only what she needed from her paintings. She didn't have a savings account and couldn't take out a loan. She hadn't gone to college, and had no degree to fall back on.
Lucy hung up the phone, and felt her legs collapse from under her. She grabbed onto the bed sheets and sat on the floor, her back pressed against the bed. Silently, she let the tears drip from her eyes. She kept her lips shut and silently heaved. She willed herself to stop and wiped her face with the blanket. Slowly, she stood up and buried her face in her hands.
Everything was beginning to fall apart again. Just when she had started to get her life in order, everything she had began to slip through her fingers. Her entire studio was dismantled. Every bit of art she cherished was reduced to ashes. And now, her own brother would become dust in the ground. He was the only thing Lucy cherished, and he was being taken from her.
And no matter what she did, she could not stop it. It was her inability to change the situation that left her so painfully weak she thought she may end up in a coma.
With a deep breath, she left the bedroom and shut the door behind her. She wandered into the living room to find Will looking out the balcony window at the city below. He turned to her, and his face fell.
"Lucy, what's wrong?" he asked. Lucy shook her head and plastered a painful smile on her face.
"Nothing is wrong. Why don't we get started?" Lucy insisted. Will looked at her, and she felt him examining her, looking right through her obvious lie. But she ignored his gaze and set up the easel and her paints.
Will sat down on the couch and positioned himself as yesterday. Lucy noticed his head was bowed a little more. Silently, she padded to the couch and lifted his chin a little forward. He kept her eyes on her like two green probes. She felt his gaze weigh her down like a million pounds right on her chest. The tension in the room doubled and Lucy could feel Will's pressure.
"Lucy darling…please tell me what ails you," Will whispered quite melancholy. Lucy did not say a word, and instead quickly returned to her easel. She felt tears burn the back of her eyes and she struggled to keep a cry from escaping her lips. Instead of thinking, she merely began to replicate what she saw. It was a passive act of duplication.
Lucy refused to answer again. She dipped the brush into the paint and fumbled the thin brush onto the floor. Paint splattered up onto her legs and on the throw rug. Lucy cursed under her breath and bent over, picking up the brush.
Her fingers were shaking to the point in which she could not even hold the brush. When she stood up, William was teetering over her. Lucy looked up at him, and felt the tears well in her eyes. She was going to lose it again in front of him. Why was it always him that left her so emotionally distraught? All she wanted was to be strong, not only for herself, but for Max. But she could barely go a day without breaking down and ending up like a big mess on the living room floor.
"Will I think you better leave," she muttered, wiping tears from her eyes. She tucked a stray hair behind her ear in an agitated manner. Will grabbed her arms and held her figure still from falling over. She tried to steady herself, but felt her legs turn to a wobbling mess.
"I am not leaving until you tell me what is hurting you," he commanded. Lucy shrunk in size at the command in his sultry voice. Her shoulders crumbled and she felt her body lump into a heap. She felt her entire body give up in a sudden burst.
"They-they're going to kill him Will! I can't pay and it's all my fault. I should've done something. I should've worked harder," she sobbed. Will pulled her close to his chest and Lucy buried her face in his white collared shirt. Her entire body shook with fear as she realized everything she ever had was quickly disappearing.
"Come on darling, let's get you sitting down," Will whispered. Lucy felt her feet leave the ground. She tucked herself closer to Will and let his heart beat pound on her chest. She liked the way it sounded – rhythmic and calm in the chaos that had just unfolded. She pressed her hand to his chest and felt his emotion flow into her consciousness.
Multiple emotions flew past her brain with ferocity. There was anger and annoyance, tenderness and compassion, pity and mercy…but the most powerful of all was a deep sadness that plagued his heart. Lucy continued to sob, her chest rising and falling at a dangerous rate.
She felt herself being placed on her bed. She curled up into the smallest form she could make herself into and pressed her cheek against her knees. She tried to keep her lip from trembling, but could not stop the sobs that racked her entire body.
She felt so alone.
She felt the side of the bed give a little, and Will's hands pulling her from her collapsed state. He slipped her under the covers and pressed a warm cloth on her forehead. She felt her puffy eyes close. Will took her hand and held it in his. Slowly, she felt herself drift off into sleep. Before she completely lost consciousness, she looked up at Will, who looked at her with pity.
"I could've saved him, Will."
Loki looked down at Lucy. Her entire face was a shade of pink, her two dark eyes closed and puffy. She lips were parted and her chest rose and fell slowly. Finally, she had fallen asleep.
She had gone into hysterics for close to an hour, crooning and mewling like a child. It had been absolutely pitiful to see her in such a state that he almost felt embarrassed for her. But as he watched her sleep, he no longer felt aggravated with her tirade. Her face was peaceful and he could hear the little breathes escape her lips as she slept. He kept her small, warm hand clamped between his. He brushed a stray hair from her forehead and kept his other hand near her face. Her emotions seemed to be quite stable now that she was asleep.
What he had felt when she touched his chest had felt so familiar. He could feel her sadness, her loneliness from a foot away. And it had felt so familiar to him. Just like when Odin had told him he was an abomination. When he first saw his skin turn the sickly shade of blue.
When he found himself to be a Laufeyson. The monster children have nightmares about. The monster parents pray never show their hideous faces.
He had felt the same destitution. He had toiled under the same burden of loneliness and knew the pain associated with it. Lucy's pain had been so magnified when she had touched him, Loki thought he may have collapsed as well. Her soul was so heavy he could've picked it up with his hands.
He knew what it felt like to be completely and utterly alone. To realize every terror you face from then on, you will face unaided. When you turned around, you would find no one's smile of encouragement, or feel no pat on the back. When you failed, you had no one to blame but yourself. And when you succeeded, no one was there to appreciate it but yourself.
And that was the scariest thought he had ever conceived.
Suddenly, he didn't feel all entirely too different from Lucy. The words she murmured before she drifted off haunted him, and reminded him of what he told Odin, moments before his plummet.
I could've done it, father.
Loki clamped his eyes shut and remembered the look on his face.
"I will not fail," he whispered.
He would succeed. He would take what was so rightfully his and repair this world. If not for himself, then for Lucy.