Confessions

Edith had enjoyed quite a bit of celebrity from the conference. The article she had been interviewed for had been published in July and two of the local papers had asked her for interviews shortly afterwards. Once the articles were out she had received a number of letters from other landowners praising her for providing a solution to the labor issue that they themselves could attempt and a number of letters from young men looking for work. She reviewed the list of applicants with the Estate Manager and created a list of men willing to work to hand around the other farms in the area she knew were looking for workers. She had personally replied to every letter she had received.

Her friendship with Major Goward was growing and he eagerly anticipated her visit everyday. Each day he had an article or section of a book marked that he wanted to discuss with her. He paid her a number of compliments but continued to avoid any physical contact. At the beginning of September he had graduated to walking with a pair of canes and Edith asked him if he might like to go out and see the home farm with her in the town car. The weather was still nice and warm and Edith assured him they could stop and rest if he tired too quickly. They set off the next afternoon with a picnic hamper in the back, an assortment of blankets and some cold drinks.

Edith's first stop was her poultry project. She was quite proud of it and despite the heat there was relatively little odor. John Biggs was in charge of the poultry now and he was a stickler for regular cleaning. The next stop was one of the fields where Edith was attempting to diversify the crops and then on to the beef cattle. They went through a small gate into a meadow where the cattle were grazing. Edith had brought a couple blankets from the car and two bottles of cider.

"I hope I haven't tired you out too much," she said when they were finally seated. The cattle lay around the field in the afternoon heat chewing their cud or mooing softly. It was a relaxing scene from their vantage point in the shade.

"Not at all, I'm enjoying being out. I haven't seen anything but a hospital ward or the inside of your home for the last eight months. Not that your home isn't beautiful," he corrected quickly.

"You don't have to tell me that it can be a bit much," Edith said. "My younger sister practically ran away from it all when she married her husband."

"What about you? Do you ever want to run away from it all?" he asked.

"I almost did once," Edith said suddenly looking wistful, "but the war changed that."

"How?"

"My fiancé died," Edith said turning back to look at him. "It was in the early part of the war. He was a flier from Canada."

"The war changes a lot of things," he said taking a pull from his bottle of cider. After a few minutes he said, "I always thought I would go home and marry the girl next door, but I found out she wanted the prestige of being a the wife of a wealthy land owner more than she wanted me. I got a letter three weeks after I was injured, Dear Mark, don't bother writing back I've married someone else."

"That's terrible," Edith said. "I don't know how anyone can be that callous. It does happen though more often people think. I've been visiting the wounded for almost two years and you're not the only one. I certainly couldn't do it to someone."

"Are you sure about that? Even if what was left was hideous?"

"I'm sure," Edith said.

"I'm hideous," he said, looking away from her.

"What are you talking about? You are far from hideous," Edith said. "Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

He started to laugh. "You don't see the other bit, that's covered up."

"Then show me and I'll tell you if its hideous or not," Edith said. She was nervous at being so forward. They weren't even on a first name basis and she was asking to see the man's scars.

"Alright, you want to see," he said suddenly annoyed and turning to look at her. His face was bright red. "I'll show you why I can't even hold your hand." He roughly pulled his tie free and began undoing the buttons of his uniform shirt. He pulled it off and then pulled off the undershirt he was wearing.

Edith was opened mouthed at his sudden burst of anger, until she realized what he had said. He didn't find her hideous at all. Across his chest and side was a spider web of scars. She reached out and tentatively ran her fingers along the longest one.

"It's not that bad," she said. "They're red now but they'll fade with time. I don't think you're hideous at all, quite lovely in fact. I thought you found me repulsive."

The anger suddenly went out of him.

"Why would I?" he said. "You're Lady Edith Crawley. You can have any man you want."

"Hardly," Edith said.

"You were engaged."

"To a farmer just like me," Edith said with a self-deprecating laugh. "He was the only man whoever paid the least attention to me."

"I find that hard to believe." He was buttoning his shirt back up with shaky fingers.

"Most men prefer my sisters."

"I've seen your older sister. She is nothing like you."

"No, we're quite different."

"I prefer you."

"That's nice of you to say."

"Edith, can I call you that?"

Edith nodded.

"Edith, I'm such a mess and I have no right to ask you, but would you kiss me?"

In answer she scooted over closer to him and placed her lips against his. He didn't respond to her first tentative kiss. As Edith drew away embarrassed by his lack of response, he placed his hand on her cheek and kissed her back. Edith had forgotten what it was like to be kissed by a man who found you attractive. Her body responded to his closeness and she felt the pull of attraction that had lain dormant for the last two years. When he finally released her all she could think to say was, "I've knocked over your cider."

Mark began to laugh, he laughed till he was almost crying and Edith laughed with him. He pulled her close and lay back on the blanket.

"You are absolutely without a doubt, the most interesting woman I have ever met," he said.

"Is that good or bad?" Edith questioned him.

"It's what makes you so damn attractive," he said before he kissed her again.

They finished up their tour of the estate by Edith taking Mark to see the apple orchards. She had an idea she wanted some feedback on and this was a perfect opportunity. By the time she got him back to the house, he was visibly tired.

"Thank you for a delightful afternoon," he said before they parted. "Perhaps we could do it again soon."

"I'll make some arrangements and let you know," Edith said. She was smiling happily when she headed into dinner that night with her family.

"You look happy," her mother commented. "Did something happen, Edith?"

"No, not much," she said non-committedly. "I've had an idea for a community party this fall. I've been working out the details."

"What type of party?" Mary questioned.

"Well, I've been thinking that it's silly to leave all the apples to the deer after what we need is picked. I'd like to have an orchard party for the Officers and invite the school children and the people from the village. The villagers could pick the apples and it would give the Officers a change of scenery. We wouldn't have to provide the elaborate foods associated with a garden party, just lemonade or some punch with a few sandwiches."

"That's a lovely idea," Lady Cora said. "I'll talk to Mrs. Hughes about it tomorrow. Do you have any idea of the date?"

"I'll double check the schedule for when the apples are to be harvested and let you know Mama."

"How are your studies going?" Lord Grantham asked Edith. "Any brave new projects?"

"I do have one, Papa. I am experimenting with keeping leeks in the ground through the winter. It looks a bit odd, but if it works we should have fresh leeks through till at least April. The following year, we can try other crops with similar techniques. I'll be finished my program in the spring."

"Well, the party sounds like a fine idea," her father said in way of encouragement.

The next day Edith went into the wards for her time with the Officers and couldn't find Mark anywhere. His things were still by his bed, but he was nowhere to be found. She went outside to the patio to see him slowly making his way across the lawn without the use of his canes. She dashed across the lawn towards him, ready to scold him for trying something so fool hardy.

"Mark, where have you been?" she said with a worried expression on her face. She had almost expected him to pack and run away after he had kissed her yesterday.

"I went to look at your sheep," he said. "I've had enough of those canes. I wanted to go on my own speed." He was sweating profusely and looked a little wobbly from his trip. Edith went to stand beside him and put her arm around his waist. His arm went around her shoulders and she could feel him sagging against her.

"You're being foolish," Edith scolded. "You'll have a set back."

"No, I won't," he said sticking out his chin stubbornly.

"If you don't behave, I won't take you for a picnic tomorrow."

"Don't they need you on the estate?" he was still being stubborn and not wanting to give in.

"No, I have more than enough men hired. Don't you want to go?"

They had made it back as far as the patio and he sat down on one of the chairs.

"Of course I do," he said taking her hand. "I just don't like having to share you with the other Officers."

"Well, you're going to have to," Edith said getting her own back for his earlier obstinacy.

"You aren't going to make this easy for me are you?"

"You're going to have to wait. I'll pick you up tomorrow at one," Edith said as she turned to walk into the house. She looked back over her shoulder to see him looking at her sheepishly.

"Could you get me my canes, please?"

Edith dashed back and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before she said, "I'll be right back."