Arýza Chapter 7: Part VII, an American McGee's Alice + Supernatural Crossover fanfic

Title: Arýza

Rated for:Language, mentions of abuse, sex, insanity - This chapter rated M

Genre:Angst, Hurt, Adventure, Suspense

Fandom/Universe: America McGee's Alice / Supernatural

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester and OC's.

Pairings: Dean/OC, OC/Hatter, OC/Cheshire Cat

Spoilers/Warning: We will be moving from S4 to S5 and maybe there will be spoilers then, not sure.

Disclaimer:Supernatural and all related characters are copyright Eric Kripke, Kripke Enterprises & The CW Network. Alice belongs to American McGee, EA and Rogue Entertainment. No infringement intended.

Summary: There is a purpose and a reason for everything…She was never just a girl, not when the angels watched over her and Underland was in her blood.

Status: This chapter has been a while in coming along. Thanks to deanstheman we got some sweet lovin' and now its done.

She stands in front of the mirror, unable to sleep while the RedKing's taunting echo haunts her. She wakes needing to find Cat but she is no longer in Underland…

"You will always end up here, always."

The phantom touch of his hand, the metal gauntlet on her throat – she has the bruises to remind her of this failure.

'I let them down.'

She can't explain it- not to herself and least to Bobby. He's questioned her, asked where she's been, what's happened... Arýza isn't sure herself. She was in Underland…

He found her in his attic, crying and bloody… Nothing she said made much sense so he doesn't ask anything else. He gives her an old shirt, some faded blue flannel… and that's all he has.

Arýza stands barefoot before the mirror, wondering…waiting… There are bruises on her neck, on her hands and arms, cuts on her knuckles. Bobby has no idea what to think, what to tell the boys… so he's said nothing at all about her return.

"I win."

Underland is lost.

The RedKing wins.

"I failed…"

Her eyes burn with tears once more and Arýza wonders if she will ever stop. She blames herself; for Cat, for Hatter, for all of them. They're all dead and what has it been for?

"You are weak. You couldn't kill me, and so… I win. I will always win."

The mirror blurs, the girl reflected there is once again in the blue dress and she cries.

He stalks towards her and looks satisfied with himself. She can hear the rustling of leaves but there aren't any and on the edges of the mirror she finds dozens of small porcelain doll heads. They are grotesque things on spindly legs that tap and scratch at the glass and Arýza takes a step back.

"Are you afraid?"

They precede him, the nightmare spiders climbing over each other trying to get through the mirror.

"Are you going to run again?"

He laughs at her, both hands pressed on the glass as he leans there and Arýza wants to turn and run, she wants to so badly…

"You're not real." It's half a hoarse whisper and full of uncertainty so the RedKing laughs. He throws his head back and laughs because he's right and they both know it.

"And the animal actually thought you could."

Kill the RedKing.

It wasn't just Cat who thought she could, that believed… Castiel, there are angels betting on her too.

"What does a spider do when it gets angry? Do you know?"

The porcelain head pops through. It makes no sound aside from the dry rustle of its many legs and it's followed by a second and then a third.

"It goes up the wall…"

Bobby heads up the stairs after finding the attic door open. The girl wasn't in her room but he's almost positive he'll find her with the mirror. What he doesn't expect is to see her holding both knives, the same ones he took from her the night before and thought to have hidden well. Apparently his hiding place wasn't good enough. He takes a cautious step into the attic, slowly approaching her. She's barefoot, wearing only the flannel shirt he gave her because her clothes were ruined. He can see her reflection in the mirror though it's difficult to make out in the dark.

"Arýza…" he doesn't want to startle her, not when she has the knives in hand. She moves, hand sliding up her arm with the shiny blade and Bobby can see they aren't clean. "What are you doing?"

There's blood on her hands, blood on her legs as well and on the floor- more dark stains and he wonders just how much blood she's lost.

Arýza can't look away from the mirror, from the RedKing and his nightmares spiders- all those little porcelain heads and empty eyes staring at her. Behind them, Underland is dark and twisted. Underland Woods is just another dark shadow of warped trees- everything is dead.

"You can't run from me. I will find you."

He stalks her, he's always sent them in his stead but right now it's the RedKing reaching for her. It's the RedKing…

Bobby ducks the swipe at his head. He is surprised by the attack and it's quickly followed by a second. She doesn't say anything, makes no sound and Bobby has to defend himself. He doesn't understand but his mind automatically brings up bits and pieces of the files on the girls in her family. Each of them ended up institutionalized….

Violent girls, each one…

It takes two CardGuards to shackle Hatter. They march him down the length of hall to the RedKing who sits on his throne in full armor. The blue-green eyes survey the large room only to stop on the gilded mirror.

Arýza stands silent- frozen in place by the sight of him, the Mad Hatter…

"You failed, Hatter."

They both hear the RedKing but Hatter pays him no mind.

"You had a simple task."

The blue of Hatter's eyes quickly fades as the green becomes more vivid and the color swirls.

"You can thank her for this."

The RedKing glances towards the mirror, smug and extremely pleased, the gold eyes sparkle.

"Off with his head."

"Hatter." Arýza reaches out, no matter what the damage they were all friends at one time and Hatter is all that's left of the Underland she remembers. "Please don't!"

The CardGuards step aside and Stayne takes position beside Hatter.

"Hatter!"

He doesn't look anywhere but at her and Arýza feels the weight of his gaze. She pounds on the invisible barrier unable to get back, unable to do anything for him, for Underland…

"He's the last of them, Arýza." The RedKing rises, armor clinking with each step he takes towards the mirror. "I'm going to kill them all."

Stayne draws his sword, reaches back…

The sight of Bobby's house is a welcome relief to Dean who hasn't been able to speak to Sam. He's done his best to sound normal, not to lay into the dumb ass and yell and scream and blame him for the fuck up because hadn't Dean told him this would happen? Hadn't Dean warned Sam about the demon bitch time and time and time again? And what does Sam go and do? What does Sam choose to do?

'Lucifer is free. The Devil walks on earth.'

They pull up on the gravel drive and climb out of the Impala. It took them a day off course to pick her up but Dean wasn't about to leave his girl behind. His fingers trail along the hood as he walks towards the stairs, remembering the day John handed him the keys.

The Impala has always been his.

Bobby greets them both with hugs, a bit strange but neither brother comments on the unusual hello. They take it in stride and head into the living room where Bobby has a bunch of books spread out, obviously working on finding some answers as well as solutions to this mess.

"Anything?" Dean wastes no time in getting to the point, they don't have any to spare and it seems as though there never is.

"Some." Bobby concedes and turns to his books. His mind is on the girl lying unconscious in his panic room and the fact the Winchesters aren't aware Arýza has returned. He rubs the back of his neck wondering how to broach the subject- how to tell them the girl is dangerous. He can't understand- she attacked him. In his own house for Christ' sake and with the knives he thought to have hidden away from her. Bobby glances at the box in the corner where he's put the porcelain heads- cracked and stained with blood-

"What?" Dean eyes Bobby knowing there's something bothering the old hunter and can't help but glance at his brother out of the corner of his eyes. Sam looks all kinds of guilty and no amount of 'I'm sorry' is going to make things right. Dean wonders yet again how he's ever going to trust Sammy. How did they get back to where they were before this whole selling my soul-going to hell-protect the seals-I'm doing what you can't krap all started.

"I uh…" Bobby glances from Dean to Sam and back. "I found Arýza."

For a moment there's dead silence as the words slowly sink in.

"She was up in the attic, found her kneeling by the mirror-."

"Where is she?" Dean is coiled, ready to spring and only needs a direction though his eyes shoot to the stairs leading to the second floor.

"Hold on a second." Bobby growls scowling.

"When did she- uh, when?" Sam draws in a short breath, avoids looking at his brother but Dean is too focused on where.

"Two days ago." Bobby answers. "Just after Dean called me."

That's enough to dampen Dean's focus on Arýza and glance at Sam. They both have the same thought, coincidence? It isn't likely, not when it's about the Winchesters and there's just one more thing to add, one more tie between the mirror, Arýza and the brothers.

Two days ago Sam broke the last seal. Two days ago Sam released Lucifer from his cage.

"That aint al-." Bobby is cut off by the scream. All three hunters stiffen though Bobby's the only one staring at his basement door.

"What the hell did you do, Bobby?"

"Me?" he follows Dean, indignant at the accusation in the green eyes as they head down stairs. "I aint hurting the girl." He mutters under his breath she wasn't as considerate to him which gets Sam's attention.

Sam grabs his brothers arm, stops him from opening the heavy door. "Just wait."

Dean glares but takes a breath and looks through the metal grate Sam opens. He doesn't like what he finds inside, doesn't like the sight of the small ball of flannel curled up on the cold floor beside the cot. Even from there he can see she's trembling.

"The girl tried to stab me, Dean." Bobby doesn't flinch from the narrowed green eyes. "Unprovoked, boy. I'm thinking maybe those files I got are right about her."

"No." Dean can't believe he's defending her again. "There's a reason, alright. She isn't violent." The force of his words brooks no argument; he won't stand there and listen to them when he knows –

'I thought I knew Sam.'

Dean glares at the metal door.

How many times is he willing to be wrong?

Green eyes never leave the trembling figure.

He opens it, iron scraping loud to announce their presence.

'She isn't Sam. She's not.'

"Hatter!"

Arýza wakes with a start. Nothing makes sense and she curls up on the ground; the echo of Hatter's voice, yelling her name in accusation- he blames her, they all do and why not? She's failed to save any of them and all of Underland is gone. There's nothing left- she has nothing left…

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" her sobs echo in the small room. She hides in the curve of her arms, small hands clutching at her hair and that small pain doesn't even register. There's only the echoing laughter of the RedKing and Stayne's blade as it cuts through the last of her Underland companions. "It's all gone… all of it…dead, all dead…"

The screech of metal is loud. She looks up immediately, breath caught in her lungs at the sight of him.

"Cat." It's a soft whisper and she's half up, reaching out for him when the RedKing is standing at the door.

Behind Cat.

"NO!"

They don't see what she sees. They look at her confused and Dean hurries the rest of the way in ignoring Sam's warning though he can't block out his brothers voice telling him of the other girls, the violent ones put in little white rooms and given blue pills along with shock therapy.

"You killed him!" Arýza kicks and misses her mark because of Dean.

Sam pauses, hazel eyes wide at the accusation and Dean grabs her, keeps her from hitting Sam.

"Rýza, Rýza, shhh. You're safe now, Rýza." He tries his best to calm her but she doesn't stop struggling, trying to get at Sam.

"It's him! We have to kill him. I have to!"

Bobby stands back observing the scene before him because this is not the girl he remembers. It's not even the girl he found in his attic and then she hits Dean.

"Son of a-!" Dean loses his grip on her though he's quick to reach for her again.

Arýza ducks his grabbing hands and Sam doesn't expect her to punch him, but it hurts. She doesn't let up, doesn't stop with the kicks or punches and Sam has enough of trying to fend her off without hurting her. He grabs her wrist and gets a foot in return and his knee throbs painfully.

Sam has enough. He doesn't try to stop himself from reacting and even his brothers voice sounds far off. He hits her twice.

"Sam!" Dean is more than pissed, he's upset with both of them, he just doesn't understand what the hell is wrong with either of them. "No- Arýza!" he grabs her arm and yanks her away from Sam. There's blood on her lip, and her cheek is bright pink from Sam's hand and fuck! She can hit. Hard. Of course she kicks him as well. Because Arýza won't let the RedKing win again, she can't let him get away and if-no, when she kills him then it will all be ok. Underland and Hatter and Cat …

Bobby steps in; he isn't looking forward to hitting the girl again but there's nothing else he can think of when she's hurting both boys and they aren't defending themselves against her.

Arýza doesn't wait for any of them, she's got an elbow in Bobby's gut and the old guy is gasping for breath but all she sees is one more obstacle, one more trying to stop her from getting to the RedKing. She doesn't understand why Cat is trying to stop her as well but she's glad he isn't dead.

"I'm going to kill all of them. Every last one…"

He's promised and Arýza knows he means to kill both brothers.

"Not if I kill you first." Arýza takes the knife from Bobby; it flies straight towards the red figure and thunks into a brown chest. She blinks, draws in shallow breaths and takes a tentative step towards them.

Castiel pulls the knife from his chest and drops it on the ground. The metal echoes, their harsh breaths loud in the small space. He looks at Arýza and knows immediately there is something wrong with her.

"You… told me- you said I had to." She doesn't understand why he's protecting the RedKing. It's all a big mess and they can hear the confused accusation in her tone as she speaks to the angel. The slight tremble in her voice and the tears shining in her eyes…

Castiel closes the distance between them, fingers lightly pressed on her forehead. He makes sure not to let her fall and gently lays her in the cot.

It's warm there. Where ever she is and Arýza turns slowly to take it all in. This isn't any place she can remember visiting…

"Arýza."

She turns back and finds Castiel standing a few paces away, the bright blue eyes resting on her. It's the same expression though just a bit disapproving.

"Where is this?" she looks around again, closes her eyes and turns her face up to the sunny sky. The flutter of her sundress just another light caress and Cas looks around once, the tall grass is bent slightly in the breeze and further off he can hear the gurgling stream.

When Arýza opens her eyes they are standing on an old porch overlooking a stream bordered by a few trees.

"He liked it here." Cas turns to Arýza but she knows he means Dean. A soft smile grazes her lips and she looks to the cabin, curious about this place Dean had once been to. She grabs at the soft white skirt and heads for the door. A barefoot hesitates on the sill and she stops just inside the cabin, looks over her shoulder to Cas, almost asking for his permission to enter.

"They aren't safe are they?" she doesn't expect a denial, she just knows.

"You've done your best-."

"It wasn't good enough. They're all dead, Cas. He killed them- he killed Cat and Hatter… He said I didn't have it." It's a question and for just a second she sees the angel hesitate.

Castiel turns back to the stream, it's where they both stand and Arýza frowns. The quick change in scenery doesn't faze her, more and more she's become used to the unexpected changes and differences. All of it so familiar…

"The weapon you need to kill him. It was lost."

"Was?" Arýza doesn't miss the implied meaning of what he says. "I need it." And if he has it then he should hand it over. "Send me back with it. I'll finish this; I'll kill the RedKing, Cas. I have to do this."

For Cat. She feels the weight of his death like a mountain pressing on her-suffocating-

"No."

One word, so simple and it feels as though the angel has ripped out her insides.

No.

She doesn't understand. He told her to kill him, said she couldn't leave and yet now she is unable to return to Underland and finish the task.

"No? But- You said I had to! You told me- you and Cat! I don't… I don't understand."

Cas pries her fingers from his arm very gently and sits with her on the bench beneath the willow. Dean used to lie under the drooping branches and watch the flicker of sunlight dance through the leaves.

"It's done."

Sam broke the last seal. Even with the RedKing dead nothing would change now.

"What's done?"

Arýza can barely decipher the expression on the angels face.

"We have other concerns now." Cas says in a tired voice as he looks at her. "I cannot help you."

"Cas? What the hell?" Sam demands and watches as the angel sits beside the unconscious girl who went nuts on them. He warned Dean, didn't he? Told him over and over Arýza was unstable but Dean wouldn't listen.

"What'd you do to her?" Dean stops by her head, concerned and confused as all hell. First it's Sam and this Armageddon shit, baby brother being such a dumbass not listening when it isn't just Dean warning him against Ruby. Now it's this; it's Arýza and when the hell did she learn those moves? When – no, where because that's what they all want to know, where did the shy and quiet girl go?

"She is resting now." Castiel answers after a long pause. He stands, blue eyes never leaving the girl he'd thought could help him make things right.

"You put her to sleep?" Dean is incredulous but he can't really be upset with the angel.

"Arýza was not herself."

"Oh really?" Sam scoffs. He has a bloody lip and a sore knee so he'd say she was just right, like the other girls in her family.

Dean is ready to defend her again without a second of hesitation and it bugs the fuck out of Sam.

"No, Dean." Because he's not going to listen to his brother make excuses for her. "When are you going to see? There's a pattern and she fits it to a 'T'."

"There's something wrong-."

"Yeah, she's friggin nuts, Dean!"

Bobby stays out of this one. He's not putting his two cents in and waits for Castiel to speak- if he doesn't disappear like he usually does. For his part, Cas steps between the brothers.

"She was poisoned."

The statement gets all three men's attention but before any of them can ask what the hell he's talking about Castiel turns to Sam.

"Do not touch her."

Sam gapes at the angel. Bobby's eyebrows almost shoot off his forehead. Dean just stares because what the fuck?

Cas carefully takes Arýza's arm and gently pushes up the flannel sleeve. They can clearly see the dark imprint of Sam's hand on her tiny wrist. Bobby knows there weren't any bruises on the girl other than the yellowed ones on her throat. Sam looks guilty, again and Dean is getting sick of the whipped dog expression on his brothers face.

"How did this happen, Cas? Where has she been and how the hell'd she get poisoned?" Dean presses, green eyes hard. He's angry, hurt, frustrated- an emotional wreck though he hides it well. He has one outlet and chooses anger.

"She failed to do her part." Castiel replies, the blue eyes slide to Sam and though the angel doesn't say it the brothers know…

…like Sam.

Just as quick, Cas is gone and they're left with a whole lot of questions. Dean just lets it go. He doesn't say a word and bends to pick up Arýza. She's lighter than air and Dean holds her tucked into his chest, fearful she'll disappear again. He doesn't even question why it feels as though he's got a missing piece back in place. He's by no means whole, not likely he'll ever be 'ok' but he certainly feels…better.

He's careful with her and Bobby can see the shift in his expression. Its clear Dean cares for the girl he carries out of the basement. It's Sam he is concerned with.

She sits under the willow frowning at the stream and thinking. She knows where it is she has to be just not how to get there if the angel isn't going to help her. She'll need the weapon as well; the Vorpal blade Cat told her the other girls - Alice and the ones before her- had used to kill the RedQueen…

"How the hell did they lose it?"

She wonders if the RedKing doesn't have it. Maybe he lied…and why the heck did she have to deal with the RedKing instead of the Queen. She had to have been easier to handle…?

The warmth fades slowly and the light dims, it takes Arýza a while to notice and when she does there's a dark shadow standing on the other side of the drooping branches.

She feels her skin goose bump and knows there is something wrong, she can feel it.

'It's only a dream.'

Small consolation as that is, she takes heart and stands to walk slowly out from under the willow.

"Did you know Dean built a tire swing for Sam that summer?"

Arýza makes the effort to slow her shallow breaths. He's standing no more than arm's length away- Sam… only this one isn't Dean's Sam. She can't mistake the flash of gold eyes in the dusk.

"You're not real."

He laughs at her, head shaking and shifts his stance.

"That again? Come now, I don't have to be real to hurt you." His smile is smug and though he makes no threatening move towards her, Arýza takes a step back and flinches from the light touch of the branches.

"I'm going to find you." He promises. "And they can't do anything to protect you. They can't stop me and you know it." Two steps and he's right in front of her.

Arýza gasps, leans away from his touch, eyes never leaving his face while the sound of her heat thumping echoes deafeningly in her ears.

The RedKing doesn't say anything else. He doesn't need to and smiles at her.

Dean stands at the window staring out at the junk yard under the moonlight. He doesn't see it, doesn't see anything because all he can think of is Arýza lunging at Sam saying she has to kill him.

Are they right?

Doubts fill him; about Arýza and those files and what if there's something to all of it? What if Sam and Bobby are right and Arýza needs real help? The kind of help he isn't qualified to give her… what then?

Dean worries Arýza is heading down the same path as the other girls in her family. They definitely had reason to go nuts and Dean has felt that way more than a few times in his life. The life he's had, the things he's seen and done… how is he expected to remain normal?

He can identify with her, understand what she feels on that end and empathize. And whatever Bobby or Sam say… Dean still feels the need to protect her.

The silence is disturbed by the squeak of the bed springs and Dean turns to it immediately. It's the first time she's moved since he put her in bed hours ago. He waits patiently, outlined in the window as Arýza jerks up from the pillows.

She blinks in the dark, dragging in a harsh breath only to find another shadow in the strange room. For a second Arýza thinks it's still a dream but when the shadowed figure moves it's familiar.

"Cat?" the whisper is hopeful and sad, just a little heart wrenching and Dean wonders why that one word pulls him to her side so easily.

"How do you feel?"

"Dean."

He can hear relief in her voice and almost immediately has his arms filled with his pixie as she jumps up from the bed. She's tangled in the covers but she's holding on to him like a drowning girl and he sits down with her whispering the same words over and over.

You're home, its ok now. You're safe here.

Arýza doesn't let go of Dean though she does loosen her hold. The first thing she does is kiss him; crushing her lips to his, her tongue begging for entry to his mouth. He lets her in, responds to her urgency for a moment, his hands on her waist pulling her closer and his mouth devouring her lips. Months of worry and the fear of never finding her, of seeing her again finally come to the surface in a rush and he can't bear to let her go. Dean grips her just as tight as Arýza holds him. This girl in his arms he could almost pretend had been nothing more than a dream is very real and Dean slows, pulls away to catch his breath.

Arýza presses her mouth back against his, not wanting this dream to end, not wanting to be without him again. Leaving him… it was never about Dean and leaving... it was time to go, to do what all the ones before failed to do.

"Hey, hey," he smiles, resting his forehead against hers to hold her at bay for a moment, lessening the intensity of their reunion. "You're safe," he repeats. "You're home."

The words are easy enough to say and the meaning behind them… that's not so easy but for Arýza being in his arms… 'I'm home.'

He kisses her again, slowly, hands cupping her face, moving tenderly over the dark cut on her lip. She's got Sam's hand print on her cheek, fading bruises on her throat… "I missed you," he tells her, taking control and deepening their kiss. He can't stop from touching her, tracing the curve of her cheek and kissing her.

Arýza's quick breaths slow and she relaxes into his pace, enjoying the feel of him after so long, after so much has happened. This, right now, it's where she belongs. Arýza knows she never should've gone, she knew it the moment her hand touched that mirror, knew it in Underland and those thoughts- the knowledge- is a torture she doesn't want to live with right then.

Dean lets his mouth stray from hers and brushes his lips past her ear in a breathy whisper. "I'm sorry."

She doesn't understand why and Dean lightly smoothes her brow, his touch light, caressing as his fingers twine into her hair. "I couldn't find you. We tried but we just couldn't…" he trails off and once more Arýza's lips are soft against his.

"You weren't supposed to." She whispers drawing back enough to look in his eyes. There's so much pain there, hurt and confusion… she hates to see him like that.

'I did this.'

"Are you ok now?" he's concerned and is right to be considering what happened a few hours ago in the basement. Even with Cas' assurance that all she needs is rest… It's been five months of hell, worried about her and how to find her, and then dealing with Sam and Ruby-

Dean is just about ready to break and prays to God for just a little bit of peace. All he wants is a moment to just breathe, to get his head wrapped around what they've done. Now that Arýza is home…

As answer she pulls on his shirt, her lips slightly quirked in a tentative smile she hopes can erase some of this pain he's carrying. Her head tilts towards the pillows and the rumpled bed. There's hesitation in her eyes, as well as in the light touch of her hands on his chest- as though she's afraid it might be too late though she fears the knowledge of Underland most.

"I…will." at least she hopes so, she hopes they will both be ok and for the moment only needs him.

Dean smiles, that cocky almost smug smile of his but it isn't quite right. He's forcing it for her and Arýza will leave it alone. He lays her back on the bed, leans down over her, trailing his lips down the line of her jaw and across the fading bruises on her neck. "I'll make sure of it."

It's a promise he means to keep and with the light tug of her hands on the hem of his shirt Dean straightens up to pull it all the way off before leaning over her again. As he kisses her, his arm slips under her waist and pulls her up the bed until her head rests on the pillows, he crawls over her. Arýza's arms are around his neck now, her legs curling around the backs of his thighs.

He kisses down the line of her collarbone, continues the trail downwards into the V of Bobby's flannel shirt until he's stopped by buttons. "They gotta go," he grins, a quick flash of white teeth and for a second Arýza can't help thinking of Cat. Underland intrudes yet again but she isn't there and Arýza holds to that while Dean unfastens the buttons one at a time, kissing every inch of her soft flesh as it is exposed.

He trails a finger softly over each bruise on her torso. Her knuckles were scraped as well and he didn't miss the cut on her forearm but for the moment Dean doesn't want to ask. All the questions, their stories… that can wait 'till morning.

Arýza lets out a soft moan when he finally pulls the flannel wide and takes an eager nipple in his mouth. Her back arches upwards, her nails digging into the muscles of his back. He pulls the shirt off her shoulders and down her arms, tossing it off the bed and rocks back on his haunches for a brief moment, soaking up the glorious sight before him. Silver-green eyes blink longingly at him and for the first time since she disappeared through the mirror, he feels that knot in his gut unravel. His pixie isn't going anywhere.

Arýza smiles up at him, full lips quirked up at the corners and her hands fall on either side of her head. His green eyes are studying her, drinking her in, loving her. She's missed it, has missed Dean… she can't help reaching up to him, to pull him down towards her, wanting to feel his touch again.

He kisses her lips, slowly, deliberately, then starts a trail of soft, fluttering kisses along the line of her jaw to her neck, down around each breast again, lingering there when she moans at the sensations he's sending through her. He moves on, down across her stomach, his hands rubbing circles down her sides to her hips. She's whispering his name, hands skimming over his back and Dean gently bites down on her skin.

She moans more loudly when he reaches her navel, squirming beneath his touch. Strong hands glide from her hips to her knees, gently spreading them farther apart as his warm breath and a wet tongue caress her inner thighs. She's panting in anticipation and lets out a squeal of delight when he finally reaches the spot most craving his touch, first flicking in circles then long, firm licks and small fists bunch up the sheet beneath her when he drives his tongue deep inside, her head tossed back into the pillows.

"God, Dean!" She can feel him smile against her heat but he doesn't falter in his rhythm, his hands gliding up across her stomach to tease and knead her breasts. She's gasping and clutching at his hair now, waves of pleasure rocking through her and she knows she's close already. "Dean!" It sounds so right to be crying out his name. She arches upwards and does it again as she hits her climax, her whole body shuddering with ecstatic release. "Dean!"

He loves the sound of her crying out his name and he grips her hips when she breaks loose, his tongue still driving in and out of her. His own need is almost overwhelming but he takes his time, letting her savor her descent and catch her breath as he licks and kisses the warm wetness on her thighs.

He moves his mouth back up to hers and she tastes herself as she kisses him hungrily. She's undoing his belt buckle, small hands impatiently tugging as they devour each others mouths and his need for her intensifies. He's breathing heavily and he stands up, yanks his own jeans and boxers off, crawling back on top of her, hard and ready.

"God, I missed you Rýza," he breathes, flicking his tongue down her neck. He doesn't think of what he's saying, the words tumbling out of his mouth on their own. They're no less true, likely the most honest he's been but with Arýza it's not difficult. He doesn't have to watch his words around her, to hide and he doesn't want to. It's taken losing her to accept how much he does care.

Arýza senses his need, his urgency, she feels it too and she wraps her legs around his hips, pulling him towards her. "Need you," is all she says and he plunges himself inside. He groans at the delicious feel of her around him and she arches her back up again, cries out in pleasure. He starts to move, slowly at first, in and out, then picks up his pace, his tongue twisting around hers as they kiss. They rock together, moaning and panting, her nails leaving red lines on his back. He thrusts harder and harder, she bucks her hips to meet him, draw him in deeper, closer. Her moans become frantic and he can't get enough of her; he pulls her up, flipping them over quickly without breaking rhythm until she's straddling him. She keeps her hips moving, rocking back and forth, taking him in fully with every grind; inky black locks swaying as she moves. His large hands grasp her hips and his head tips back when she arches forward, her hands pushing from behind against his knees. Their moans blend together and they both know they're close.

"Rýza!" he rasps, green eyes locked on hers, his hands gripping her waist. She bites her lips, head thrown back but can't hold in her cry as she climaxes and her shudders send him over the edge. Dean holds her tightly as he lets go deep inside her, both of them quivering with the intensity of their release.

The creaking bed-springs finally register and his hands glide up her sides drawing her towards him. Arýza lies on his chest, her cheek against his and both just breathe.

"You looked for me." Arýza's voice is barely above a whisper, her mouth grazing his cheek as she pushes up on her arms. "Even though I left…"

Dean runs his fingers through the inky swatch of hair in her eyes, hooking it behind her ear. The silvery-green eyes are bright in the dark room. There's this part of him that felt her loss- more than it makes sense when she's been little more than a stranger to the Winchesters. And yet, he's always known this girl is not like any others he's ever met.

"Yeah." Because he couldn't just let her go. "I'm…"

He looks away first, trails off and she can't blame him for not finishing that sentence.

"I never meant to leave you." She hopes he knows that though his silence says maybe he doesn't believe her.

Dean remembers very clearly; he begged her not to go much as it goes against his pride but he did and it made no difference. Still, months of going over that night in his mind didn't change what he saw.

"It was-."

"You're home, Rýza." He rolls on his side with Arýza in his arms, a lingering kiss to stop the excuses he can't bear to listen to just then.

He pauses for a moment, knows he shouldn't have done it and glances towards the sleeping couple. He's done it for her, because there is always a chance she can surprised them all, even him.

The Vorpal blade shimmers as though it were bathed in moonlight but the curtains are drawn and the room is dark.

Castiel slips the weapon into Arýza's bag where Dean left it on the chair in the room. It was in heaven among the other relics and difficult as it was to sneak it out the blade belongs to Arýza.

She will need it.

Arýza is quiet. Dean feels the light touch of her fingers slowly tracing a circle on his chest. He waits, listens patiently as she tells him about her family. She's told him a lot already- everything Dean had ever wanted to know and this girl, the pixie tucked into his side, is more real than any of the others. She'd had the sort of life Dean had dreamed of, and she had planned out her future; school, college, career and family. The white picket fence, dog and kids… It was Dean's fantasy, if ever he let himself think of it anymore.

"Cat." He frowns at the ceiling, not that he has anything against them. "You like cats?"

"Not a cat." Arýza corrects. "Cat." The difference in her tone isn't missed though Dean doesn't mention it. She rests on her elbows half over Dean and studies him, trying to memorize the strong features… She is certain now and wonders at how she didn't make the connection before.

"So who…?"

She smoothes his brow and presses her lips to his softly. Dean glides his fingers along her bare back, enjoying the warmth of her skin. They've both slept on and off a couple of hours, each time waking up to reassure themselves it hasn't been a dream.

"You are."

Two words and to Dean she isn't making any sense. It's there in the slight frown of his lips and narrowed green eyes as he studies her.

"Was." Arýza sadly corrects. The RedKing killedCheshireas he's killed plenty other Underlanders including Hatter…

"Sweet heart… you're not making sense."

"I know." She lays her cheek on his chest, closes her eyes and listens to the steady beat of Dean's heart. It's strong and she takes comfort in that. They both have regrets, each of them sorry for their part in this fuck up- the end of the world…

Fear. It has been Arýza's constant companion- a ball and chain she has dragged with her since the fire. It has been so easy to let it guide her, to give in, but… That is not who she is. Cat reminded her of it, forced her to see there is more than fear or pain. With Dean she has recovered her strength, found herself once more.

Cat- Dean… they've both been with her.

"He was you." She feels him tense just a little at her words. "In Underland."

"Me." He's not sure how that is possible or if any of it- all the Underland stuff, it's been almost five months since she disappeared and yet for Arýza it was no more than a few days.

She knows this won't be easy to tell. "Come on." But there's one thing he can't brush off and Arýza will do everything she can to prove who he is.

She grabs his t-shirt from the floor and Dean sighs, gets up and pulls on his pants. She's already at the door, her small hand held out for him.

Balthazar smiles when Castiel finally notices his presence.

"What are you doing, brother?"

Castiel glances around wondering if there are others. The blue eyes focus once again on Balthazar. "Why are you here?"

"Curiosity." Balthazar shrugs. "The girl failed, Castiel. Sam Winchester broke the last seal…" he laughs. "You think she can change what's going to happen? Castiel…!"

The blue eyes narrow and yes, he does think Arýza can help the Winchesters somehow. He's done his part, done as he was ordered and allowed Sam to escape even though Dean was doing everything in his power to save his brother, to stop the last seal from breaking… His brethren wanted this; they want the Apocalypse to happen.

"You're … Cas, Cas really think of what you're doing, brother." Balthazar shakes his head because there's determination there. Castiel has chosen his path.

Arýza takes Dean up to the mirror. She's silent on her bare feet, leading him in the dark hallway to the closed door with ease though it shouldn't be so easy. It squeaks on its hinges and Dean glances over his shoulder but this is less noise than they'd been making 10minutes ago and Sam's door is firmly shut. She tugs his hand and they head into the attic and the mirror. He still thinks it's a bad idea but she insists and he's only just gotten her back…

"Rýza..."

"I'm not going anywhere, Dean." She smiles at him and covers her own fear of being so close to the mirror once again; afraid of what it will show them…

Dean stops and wraps his arms around her waist, a dual purpose in the embrace and keeping her with him is the most important factor. She doesn't mind- this is what she wanted to come back to but the contentment she feels is laced by guilt.

"The RedKing-."

Dean feels her draw in a breath and offers her what comfort he can. His arm slides up her back, fingers lightly threading through her loose hair. She's got a new scar on her skin and he wonders how long it'll be before she tells him how that got there.

"Same dark hair… same-." she avoids any eye contact, unsure she'll be able to tell him if he's looking at her. Because Sam broke the last seal and it wasn't easy for Dean to tell her that. "He killed them all, Dean. He burned my house and my family. He destroyed my world… and he's doing the same to Underland."

"Alice in Wonderland." Dean sighs tiredly. He can't not believe her, not with everything he knows is real and everything they've seen-

"He-, he looks…"

Her fingers dig into his sides and her breath is warm on his bare chest. Dean is tense, he knows he won't like what comes next and just waits quietly. He was a fool to think this happy little bubble wasn't going to burst eventually. He just hoped it would last longer. Just a little…

"He looks like Sam."

Her words are so soft Dean could pretend not to have heard her. He doesn't want to believe it but how can he deny that when Sam- Sam…

"I… it's all so twisted, Dean."

She's eerily calm for having just told Dean his baby brother is evil. She was too damn calm when he told her about Ruby and Lilith and the seal… as though it weren't a surprise for her and maybe she did know about Ruby, about Sam…

Sam.

"It felt familiar… I knew everyplace and it wasn't even the same, but I remember what it was like. I remember it… And they both said I was supposed to fix it."

She sounds lost and maybe they are lost, maybe this world they're fighting to save isn't worth the effort, the pain and the struggle they've gone through so far…

"Kill the RedKing and Underland was saved. I could… come home." The silvery-green eyes finally meet his and it feels right; home…

Though he holds her close all Dean can think of is Sam.

"Kill the RedKing…"

"We have to kill him! I have to!"

Her words and she certainly tried-

Dean can't; he won't let her touch Sam. The kid has been a pain in the ass for years, bucketful's of trouble but he's Dean's.

"I wasn't prepared." She still feels that sense of shock, the disbelief when it was Sam's face the RedKing wore… "I- I couldn't." she can see Dean's expression thanks to the moonlight reflecting off the mirror. He isn't really listening to her and she steps back, out of his arms.

He lets her go, her eyes bright in the dark attic. She doesn't expect to come first, she's spent five months with the brothers- long enough to know how it goes and its Dean and Sam. It won't be any other way though Arýza could hope… wish it were a little more and what is she anyway? Just another girl- maybe a crazy girl but still no more than that, not for them…

And yet… there had been a time when he was hers, just hers…

But it isn't Dean and this isn't Underland.

She's hurting and Dean knows it but he won't give up on Sam no matter how tired he is of fighting for the damn kid. He can feel the distance with Arýza, they both do when a moment ago they'd had each others warmth as a comfort.

Arýza blinks the sting from her eyes and turns back to the mirror. There's so much more that she wants, so many things and it's all a dream because Underland is her reality. It's a part of herself she can't escape.

Dean moves across the short distance and grabs an old trunk. It drags over the boards as close as he dares get to that mirror and takes Arýza's hand. She quietly curls up on the trunk beside him, her ankles crossed, both staring at the mirror. She can see it, Underland the way the RedKing has twisted it.

"They're identical." The words nothing but a whisper but she's going to tell him anyway. "Exactly alike and I just kept thinking of Sam… your Sam."

Sam, who tried to get her to talk and would bring her sinful little snacks just to tempt her into a 'chick flick' moment. Sam, who shared his own fire tragedy thinking to get her to open up. Sam, who put himself in front of her first ghost. Sam, who patiently explained the basics of hunting. Sam, laughing at her clumsy attempt at reassembling the Desert Eagle 9mm. Sam, arguing with Dean over the lack of hot water and wet towels…

"Sam isn't…" Dean can't finish the denial. He loves his brother, has always done anything and everything in his power to keep them safe, to protect Sam…

The trust is broken.

Sam picked a demon over his own brother… After all they've been through, after everything Dean has done for him…

"I know." Arýza assures him, her small hand finds his and she laces their fingers together. She's happy when Dean doesn't pull away, that much hasn't changed and no matter what Sam's mistakes- what he's done… Arýza believes in them both. It doesn't make things any easier.

For just a second Dean wishes he hadn't told her about St. Mary's and Ruby and what Sam did there. The apocalypse is nigh and all he'd wanted was a few hours of peace with her…

"He fought." She takes a deep breath and tells Dean of Underland and the chessboard and how they lost the Vorpal blade, all the other champions for Underland. "Cat…" her eyes stare into the mirror and at their reflection. He's there, both of them sitting on the stone wall in their white suits. "You… we were the Knight piece. On the chessboard."

Dean listens quietly but even she can tell it sounds ridiculous. Giant chess pieces moving across, hacking at each other and…

"So… Harry Potter?" Because giant chess pieces…all at once he realizes how ridiculous that is. He forgets she's spent the last five years- well, six now- she's spent all this time hidden away from people and the five months living with them wasn't enough time to get her caught up with everything she's missed; movies, TV, talk shows not that they didn't spend enough time lounging in bed watching the idiot box when there was nothing else to do.

"I never saw it." The silvery-green eyes blink up at him, her brow slightly furrowed and for a second he's pushed everything else out of her mind.

"It's not important," None of that matters.

What's done is done.

"You're here." He trails a hand down her face, lightly grazing her jaw and knows how else to keep those memories away.

Dean feels the soft touch of her hand on his chest, fingers lightly skimming over his skin and he leans closer. His lips brush over hers, barely touching and her hand slides up to curve over his neck.

"Arýza." Her name, just a soft whisper but it's much more than that. She feels it, with the touch of his lips and reluctantly she pulls away.

"You're the same." She whispers, her eyes bright with tears. He may not know it, doesn't realize there's a part of him that's claimed her no matter what world they're living in now. "Don't you see?"

His brow furrows and she's looking to the mirror but all he sees is their reflection. "Sweetheart…"

"Don't you see? You're Cat…" she's frowning, her eyes skipping from the mirror to Dean and back. What she sees; Underland and Cat right there at her side… That's not what Dean sees. She can't contain the soft cry or her tears. He can't see it and what does that mean for Cat?

Is she crazy?

"I'm not…" she breathes past the lump in her throat. She's not crazy! "I felt…I heard him-you, I-."

Dean is surprised when she jumps up and starts for the mirror, hand wiping away tears. He grabs at her and manages to catch the hem of his t-shirt. He stands, yanks a little harder and once again his arm wraps around her waist.

"It's real, Dean. I can see it…" she draws in a breath and tries to calm down but it isn't easy. "You can't-. You don't see Underland? You don't see … Cat."

"You do?" Dean starts walking them back, the further he gets from the mirror the better off they both are as far as he's concerned. And that thing is all kinds of bad mojo he's wising he hadn't given into her and instead kept her in bed where they belong.

"Yes," Arýza smacks his arm. "It's not going to suck us in, Dean. It doesn't work…it won't." because Castiel said she'd failed and Sam broke the last seal and now … "I just couldn't-." before the tears can fall she covers her face and drags in a short breath. Dean just holds her, confused by the things she's told him and he doesn't have the words to make it better. This… It's all he can give her for now, because it is 'Sam and Dean' and he doesn't know any other way for it to be.

What Dean wants has never been more important than what his Father or brother needed. It wasn't ever fair to Dean but that's all he knows, it's all he's ever done and however much he wants the girl in his arms there's a lot that needs to be done first.

Arýza cries for him; for Cat and his sacrifice, for every one of them and her failure. She feels guilty, for Hatter and won't let herself think of what he did- she can't. She can't ever tell Dean -.

"Cat's dead because of me."

Dean turns her around, takes her trembling hand away from her face and the silvery-green eyes avoid his green. She can't, afraid he will see it, Hatter's mark on her and it's all over. Underland belongs to the RedKing now andCheshire…

"It was supposed to be me…"

He can see the guilt, her crazy reason for wanting to find this weapon and get back to Underland. She wants to leave again- when he's only just got her back and for what? This Cat she feels guilty for?

Only it isn't just for Cat. It's all of Underland, and this world she wants to help save.

"No." Dean cups her chin, thumb stroking under her lip. "You're not to blame."

Hollow words because there's no way for Dean to know if that is true. He is only sure that Cat chose and Dean is happy with the outcome.

Arýza is alive.

The mirror works both ways and the RedKing makes his way across the throne room to watch them. His smile is displeased and she's unaware of anything but the human.

"Cheshire."

It's unmistakable and the damn animal is still taunting him from her world. After all the trouble he's gone to just to kill the Cat persistently bringing in the Un-Alice. One girl after another… and the RedKing has beat them all.

All but this one.

This girl the Cat died for…

"Stayne!"

Sam stares into his coffee cup trying hard not to think of Dean and Arýza and the creaking bed springs he could hear coming from her room. He's disgusted with his brother, angry as well. Not a few hours ago Arýza was trying to kill him … what the hell is his brother doing-? Sam huffs a breath, it's not difficult to know what Dean was doing- Sam could hear them from across the hall.

"Get any sleep?"

Sam's head jerks up at Bobby's question and snorts in answer.

"Yeah." Bobby agrees but the answering smile isn't as derisive as Sam's and he ignores the hazel gaze narrowed on the ceiling above them. "So what are we doing about Lucifer?"

The question brings Sam back to earth with a thump and guilt churns his guts. What are they going to do about the Devil?

"Bobby…" Sam sets his coffee down and squares his shoulders. Dean told him to shut up about it, not to mention what went down at St. Mary's but he can't lie to Bobby. He has to apologize for this even if 'I'm sorry' just doesn't cut it. At least Bobby should know. After all these years… Bobby has a right to know what Sam has done.

"Don't want to know." Bobby says with a shake of his head and pointedly turns his back on the short length of hallway leading upstairs. "Aint none of my business anyhow." The boys will just have to deal with the girl; hell, it's pretty easy to see that Dean can deal with her just fine. That's not the case with Sam though.

"What?" Sam frowns, confused and follows Bobby into the living room.

"Your brother cares for the girl, Sam."

Sam lets out a long suffering sigh and just lets it go. He won't argue about Dean's so called 'love life' and he's not going to say anything else of Arýza's role in it. All he can hope for is that when it ends they don't end up with one more person who wants the Winchesters dead.

Bobby accidentally kicks the box set beside his desk. The porcelain heads rattle, creepy empty eyes staring and the old hunter grumbles.

"What are those?" Sam frowns, even he is creeped out by the doll heads and then Bobby pulls one out dangling it from the spindly leg. "You have…weird toys Bobby."

"Aint mine." Bobby replies glowering. "Found it up in the attic." It's not the only thing he found and knows he's lucky not to have ended up shredded and diced by the itsy-bit of a girl upstairs. What little she did say before he knocked her out made no sense.

"Is that… blood?" Sam takes the creepy thing from Bobby and examines it closer. First thing that pops into his head is that Russian supernatural film NightWatch. The thing dangling from his fingertips is an eerie reminder of the crawling spider-like toy in one of the scenes.

"Yeah, thought it was Arýza's."

That gets Sam's attention and right away figures it has to do with where she's been.

"She was holding those damn knives and I thought she'd cut herself." Bobby shrugs, a bit embarrassed but what else was he supposed to think? The girl was holding bloody knives and she was splattered with it. And then with how Bobby found her that first night? Well…

"It wasn't?" Sam wonders, hazel eyes on the cracked porcelain head. It's covered with blood and peeking into the crack on the porcelain can see clumps of … something and Sam is trying really hard not to picture a brain.

"No." And there wasn't a cut on her hands when he cleaned them nor on her face when he wiped off the splatters of blood.

He trails the tips of his fingers down her bare shoulder watching the slight flutter of her lashes.

"Rýza…" his voice is soft, a whisper and he follows the trail of his fingers with his mouth.

The faint light of dawn glows in the windows, one more day and their reality will soon intrude. Her slow smile precedes a sigh and she turns to rest on her side where she can bask in the attention he's giving her.

"…Dean…mmm…"

"Morning." He bites gently into her hip, his hand cupping over the curve of her cheek.

"Hey," she rests on her back and pulls on his arm until he's on top of her, silvery-green eyes completely focused on him. "Are you planning to keep us in bed all day?"

"You got other plans?" Dean gets another soft smile and that's more in the last few hours than there ever were in the five months she was with them.

Arýza nods, her arms drape over his shoulders. "I could think of something…else…"

It's exactly what Dean was thinking and the weight of him pressing into her feels right. It's the same with Dean, her touch like a brand and they both put the words they can't speak out loud in each caress.

Dean gets his wish, a little more time in the happy bubble… just a little longer before they have to face reality again.

AN: This will be the only post for February. Work is going to keep me busy the rest of the month so the next post wont be until March. It will be the last chapter so I hope you've enjoyed reading.

Thank You to deanstheman who has been an awesome reviewer and a huge help in getting some of the important bits written.