Authors notes:
Thankyou for reading and reviewing, I get what they mean about reviews being a drug, "Memo to self" must review more often!" I'm afraid more angst is heading their way! I admit I'm not good at the conversations, so for now I'm going to be sticking to mainly point of view's until I gain a little more confidence. I hope someone likes it though, If nothing else it's theraputic! Btw all chapter headings are titles from said Album, would urge you to check them out, may make more sense!
Suitcase
Kono's POV
Well we managed a couple of weeks of dodging the White Elephant in the room, I was too scared to approach the subject, and in the meantime he made an effort to be the attentive boyfriend I had been missing. It was foolish of me to believe that putting my head in the sand a little longer would make up for what was about to happen. I knew it wouldn't be indefinately, I'd hoped, but his eyes spoke volumes when his lips failed to do so. The comfort of being with him, even the little there was, was enough.
I wake to find his side of the bed empty, a draw open, the wardrobe slightly ajar, this doesn't bode well. I race down stairs, tears stinging my eyes but refusing to fall until more proof is found.
He's there with his suitcase sitting by the door, waiting for me to wake.
Please somebody tell me what's going on
My baby's got a suitcase
He can't look at me in the eye, his head hanging low. Looking at the keys to the house in his hands.
My silent tears are falling, this is final, this looks final... he has packed the suitcase, not me, he did, he thought about it and made a clear and precise decision to pack his things and walk. If anything this hurts more as it is not a whim it is premeditated.
I try to reason with him that I am here for him, that I want to make this work, that whatever I have done to cause this drastic decision I'll rectify it striaght away. What happend, why now, what suddnely changed, I thought that we understood we would work whatever it was out in time. He tell's me "It's too late".
'Cause all I did was love him
But I can't stop him walking
I try to grab him, to touch him, to feel a connection with him to reassure him I don't want this... Whatever this is. He shifts to stand and in a low voice says "Don't touch me. Get out the way". "What changed so quickly Steve?", I ask in a broken voice, all to aware this conversation is invain. I just want him to be open with himself, I can gather the reasons, they've been building for sometime. I know it's not another women, or because he no longer loves me but to hear him validate my fears would make me breath without hitching.
Will someone tell me what's going on tonight
My baby's got a suitcase
Please don't ask me why
He unclips the key from the chain and leaves it by the door, I urge him to keep it, just in case, all the team have copies after all. A part of me realizes he needs to give it back if he's ever to make this decision final. Final. I hate that word right now so much. In my anger, frustration, hurt, fears, I call out as he opens the door to go. ""Did you ever Love me?" I know the answer all to well, and to be fair that does give some comfort, I just want to cause a reaction in him. All I get is a slight pause as he steps over the threshold to leave and in a mumbled broken tone, barely audible I hear "I do very much".
I can't stop my heart leaving through the door
I can't unpack my heart 'cause he won't look at me anymore
The door closes and I crumble to the ground, realizing that I can do no more, but wait, hope, stay strong, bide my time, pray that he will return once more... One Day.
For now, for tonight, for the rest of the weekend I'll allow myself to let my heart take over, for the tears to fall freely in the hope that they and sleep will numb the pain of my heart breaking.