Chapter 13: Oceans of Emotions
Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.
Jacob wasn't sure whether he should run to her or wait until she walked up to the Rabbit. He decided on the latter. No sense in scaring the poor girl to death. He already screwed up royally and needed to apologize.
She finally stood in front of him; the gap between them still obvious. Her voice was so small. "What do you want, Jacob? Your take on my little problem was pretty clear. I'm not stupid; I understand perfectly. I'll handle the matter by myself."
He took a step forward. "You don't understand . . ."
"Oh, but, I do. You're seventeen years old. You have your whole life ahead of you. You don't have time to waste your life on a baby that was born several years too soon."
Jacob shook his head. "No, that's not it. The truth is I was green with jealousy, Bella. When you said you were pregnant, I thought—"
Bella stiffened, and her eyes misted. She was wrong; there were still a few tears to be shed today.
She interrupted him, nearly choking on the words. "You thought . . . that Derek and I . . . that we . . .?" She looked away from Jacob, the very core of her being wracked with pain. "How could you think that?" she screamed at him.
She turned and began to run to the truck. He caught her easily, and fell to his knees at her feet, hanging his head in shame.
"I'm sorry Bells, I couldn't help myself. I put two and two together and came up with three. You know how bad I am at math. I love you, but I'm always petrified of losing you to some normal guy—someone who doesn't have all this supernatural baggage attached to him, like some leather thong tied around his ankle.
"Bells . . . please, I'm begging—don't be mad. You've gotta forgive me. I try hard not to be jealous, I really do. But if a guy so much as looks at you, I just go nuts. You wanna pull my hair, or scratch my face? Go ahead—you can beat me with your shoe if you want. Wait, I've got a crowbar in the Rabbit—anything—just so long as you say I'm forgiven."
Resting the side of his head on her legs, he tightened his hands around her calves. Overcome with compassion, Bella began to stoke his hair. "What am I going to do with you, Jacob? How many times to I have to tell you, that I'm yours, and yours alone? No one is going to take me from you. Do you hear me? I'm in love with you—idiot!"
A passerby walked toward them, noticing Jacob on his knees. "Are you all right," she asked.
"He's fine," Bella replied." He's groveling, that's all."
The woman, still not convinced, tilted her head to get a better look at him. Jacob took the hint, and stood up.
"Yeah, just groveling," he repeated looking sheepish.
"If you say so, but really you should get inside or at least—" She stopped, her eyes bulging as she took in the now unobstructed view of his physique. ". . . put a shirt on. You'll catch your death out here."
Jacob shrugged and the lady shook her head at the two of them. "Kids, "she lamented.
Bella bit her lip trying to hold in a laugh. "Maybe we should get out of the public eye," she snickered as the woman sauntered past them.
Frowning, Jacob complained, as he backed up against his car's bumper. "I don't care about that. What I do care about is all this—this space between us—there's too much space. I've gone more than six weeks without touching you. It just about killed me. It's killing me now. I need to be able to touch you, Bella. Please?"
He was giving her that sad look with those puppy dog eyes. She stepped toward the lovesick guy, but not quick enough to suit Jacob.
"C'mere, girl," he said while pulling her into a snug embrace. He closed his eyes, breathing in her scent, and sighed loudly. "I'm saving up my money for a whole year, 'cuz the next time you go to Florida, I'm going with you."
He kissed the side of her head, tucking it under his chin. "Can I ask you something? Now, don't get mad again, all right? I mean . . . why didn't you let me know about this sooner?"
She was sliding her hand gently along his back. Her voice was just above a whisper. "I wanted to be absolutely sure first. Anyway, what if someone saw the letters?"
Jacob nodded his head. "Yeah, but everyone will know soon enough, Bells. It's not like you can hide it forever."
"Well, those weren't the only reasons. I was scared. I had to come up with a plan. Should I stay with my mom in Florida until the baby's born, or should I just end it? What should I do?"
Jacob tensed, and pulled back slightly, his mouth open in shock. "Hold on. Don't tell me you were considering having some doctor cut the little guy out of you and throw him away like he was a piece of trash. Please tell me you didn't really want to end this life growing inside of you."
He threw up his hands. "And what's this—I had to come up with a plan, business, huh? This is my baby too. You can't make all these decisions by yourself. What about my feelings? Don't they count for anything?
"I don't want to hear anymore of this I, I, I, stuff. We are going to deal with it. We, Bella—you and me, together."
Bella sniffled, her head still on Jacob's chest. "I never really wanted to end this pregnancy. There's no way I could go through with it. It's true, I wish it hadn't happened, but I could never get rid of your baby. I love you Jacob, and there's no way, I could not love this baby either."
Patting her hair, Jacob murmured, "So, are we okay then?"
Incredulous, she tilted back her head to look up at him. "No, we're not okay. We're still in big trouble."
Pebbles crunched underfoot, and Jacob turned his head. "Crap, that nosey lady's coming back here. Let's get in the car."
He walked around to the passenger side and let Bella slide in. Then he hopped in the driver's seat. Smiling, he waved at the budinski. Yeah, I'm all cozy and warm now. Satisfied? Jeez, lady, give it a rest, will ya?
She smiled back at him, comforted in the knowledge that she saved him from some horrible illness.
Jacob's attention was once more focused on his girl. He took Bella's hands, his warm brown eyes penetrating deep into her soul. "Don't go to Florida, honey. I'll go crazy. Quil and Embry were ready to haul me off to the funny farm in that little length of time you were gone. I can't stand being away from you. Promise me, you won't go."
Bella's chocolate eyes grew wider. "Are you kidding me? After that hurricane, I don't even want to go there to visit anymore. I was never so scared in my life."
"Good, then you're never leaving me to go off to Florida. Whew, what a relief!"
A car drove by, and unexpectedly beeped, startling them both. It was that lady again.
Thank god, that pesky woman left. "Well, whaddya know, alone at last." He motioned toward the passenger door. "Out of the car, Bells."
"Why?"
"Because there's a freakin' gear shift standing between you and me. Let's go."
He helped her out of the seat and they were once more standing at the rear of the Rabbit.
"Okay, so what say we table this discussion until later on down the road. There's no rush, we have at least a couple of months to think about it. Right now can we concentrate on us?"
His brow suddenly furrowed. "Hey, I haven't even gotten a kiss yet. What's with that?"
Bella playfully bumped his shoulder, "Come and get it, sailor," she taunted.
She headed toward her truck, mincing as she walked. Jacob was right behind her, spinning her around to face him. The little particles of electricly charged air molecules seemed to ignite. The tension between them was palpable. They were like two magnets drawn to each other. Six weeks apart, and they were powder kegs ready to explode.
Their lips met, and in an instant, Jacob had Bella slammed flat against the car. His heart was like a time bomb . . .tick . . .tick . . .tick. He was an uncontrolled river of hormones. Now that he was sure of her feelings for him, nothing could stop him. Closer and closer, and still not close enough, he ached to make love to her.
No longer worried about getting pregnant, Bella was clinging to him, egging him on. He sat her on the hood of the Rabbit. At the same time, her mouth was inching up his neck, and her legs began to encircle his waist.
Jacob grabbed the key chain from his pocket. On it was the key to the Ateara's house. They were all gone at a family reunion. Quil had come back last night long enough to patrol and to bring back a forgotten camera and some photograph albums to his parents. They wouldn't be back until Sunday. He had been given the key to keep an eye on the place and to collect their mail. But it would serve another purpose today. The Ateara's home was the closest to First Beach too— how convenient. And Quil had a double bed, not a small lumpy twin size, like Jacob's. Sweeeet!
He ran, carrying Bella to the nearby house, leaving the vehicles behind. He didn't want any interruptions this afternoon.
Bella probably should have wondered where they were headed, but she was so caught up in the heat of the moment, that she couldn't care less. All she could think about was being where she belonged, in her Jacob's arms—his warm hands caressing her, his soft lips matching her passion. God, how she loved him!
They arrived at the Ateara's residence in a few minutes and Jacob unlocked the door. Then he made a mad dash to Quil's bedroom. Bella loosened her legs knotted at his waist and practically flung herself onto the bed, dragging Jacob down with her. He hurriedly unbuttoned her blouse, and smothered every inch of skin on her shoulders and neck with an unending stream of kisses.
He drew back slightly and with eyes glistening with newly formed tears, gasped, "Don't ever leave me, Bella. I couldn't bear it for a minute, not now, not ever. I can't live without you."
He nimbly removed the rest of her clothing, casting them aside onto the floor.
Their lips crashed together again, and when he broke the kiss, he murmured, "I've gotta feel your touch. Please . . . honey, please . . . I need you to touch me."
Her hands immediately stroked his cheek, roaming quickly to the defined sinews of his chest and abs. He trembled under her gentle caresses, still craving more. Bella tugged at the waistband of his cutoffs, sliding them down partially from his legs. He kicked them off the rest of the way.
She looked up then, her chocolate eyes alight with love for this boy as she breathed his name aloud, "Jacob . . ."
He replied in kind. "Oh god, Bells, I love you so."
In one continuous motion, he pulled her to him, and closed his eyes as once more he readied himself to make love to his sweetheart beside him.