Chapter 16 – Resolution

Mary lay down on her bed. Turning her head to the side, she eyed the expanse of her mattress. She stretched her arm out, sliding her hand over to the side where he had lain. Mary brought her mind back to him. Each encounter with him seemed more intense and lovelier than the last. Her heart quickened as she thought of him underneath her. Her hands remembered the warmth and smoothness of his skin, the chiselled lines of his chest and shoulders. They had found such a blissful rhythm last night. She bit on her bottom lip. She grasped at the bed linens beside her, wishing he were there.

Mary asked herself whether it was possible for her to do without him, even for a few weeks. Of course, it was not a decision that she could make on her own. She needed to see Matthew. She rose and rang the bell for Anna. She sat down at her vanity and began to undo her hair. Anna arrived within minutes. She immediately assumed the task that Mary had begun. "How is your day going, Anna?" Mary asked her.

"I've had better days, m'Lady." Anna gave her a brief smile. "Some days wear on me harder than others."

"How is Bates?" Mary asked her; her eyes softened.

"He is holding his own," Anna replied as she brushed her mistress's hair. "When I saw him last Sunday, his spirits were up or so it seemed. I think he means to buoy my spirits by his example." Anna continued, "I know the guards by name now, as does John of course. He has made friends both among the guards and his fellow inmates, as peculiar as that sounds."

Mary watched Anna's face closely as she described her last prison visit. Her face glowed as she spoke of her husband, and her mood lifted.

"I meant to thank you for yesterday, Anna," Mary said somewhat sheepishly. "I realize now that I had no right to burden you with my scheming and I'm sorry for it."

Anna put the final touches on Mary's hair. "It's of no moment, m'Lady." Anna's eyes lit up with mischief. "I needed the diversion. I rather enjoyed it."

"I did as well. Unfortunately, we've been found out," Mary sighed. "Not you, Anna," she added quickly, "Matthew and I." She applied her perfume. Anna froze. "But how could that be?" Anna asked her. "I had thought myself so careful."

"I cannot answer that, I'm afraid," Mary replied as she rose from her chair. "But my mother is determined to send me to either London or Dublin until the wedding." Mary paused. "So I will meet with Matthew now, if I can find him."

Anna fetched Mary's coat and her gloves. "What will you do?"

"I haven't decided." Mary said, as Anna assisted her with her coat. "I cannot bear the thought of leaving Matthew, even if only for a month." She looked at Anna. "It all seems so silly when compared to your troubles, Anna."

"M'lady, you mustn't think like that," Anna chided her softly. "Life is too short to squander opportunities for love." She grabbed Mary's hand. "If you are compelled to be with him, you mustn't fight it." She smiled and released her.

"Thank you, Anna," Mary replied. "You're quite right, as usual." Mary left the room ahead of her maid. She went directly to the library, hoping to come upon her father. He was at his desk, poring over papers. "Pa-pa, I'm going into the village," Mary told him. "May I take the motor car?"

"Yes, of course," her father replied. "Have you decided?"

"No, I haven't," Mary answered. "I will meet with Matthew. I will be back before dinner." She turned to leave then hesitated. She looked at Lord Robert and stated clearly, "I'm sorry, Pa-pa, about what I said. I was angry. I should not have said those things."

"I understand, Mary," Robert answered her. "Apology accepted."

"I am sorry about everything," Mary said to him. "I know that you would wish to have a daughter that confines herself to social conventions. I'm a disappointment that way."

"Mary..." Robert started.

"No, Pa-pa, please let me finish," Mary interrupted him. "After what you've learned, you may not think so but Matthew redeems me. Whatever happens, please know that I'm a better person now than I've ever been. I am happier than I've ever been."

Robert smiled at her. "I'm glad of it," he told her. Mary returned his smile. She turned and left.

Given the hour, Mary expected Matthew to be at work and she directed the chauffeur to his office. In all of the years that she had known him, she had never once stepped foot across the threshold of his professional life. She felt excited as she breached the doorway into the office building. The reception area was humble. The room was a dull gray. The sombre atmosphere was made worse by the scarcity of natural light. A divan and a number of chairs bordered two walls. A white-haired gentleman sat at a desk in one corner of the room. He looked up as she entered.

"May I help you, madam?" the senior gentleman inquired politely.

"Yes, you may," Mary answered brightly. "I'm here to see Mr. Crawley. Is he in?"

"He is," he answered. "May I tell him who is calling on him?"

"Yes, of course," Mary said. "Lady Mary Crawley." She smiled at him and took her seat.

After a few short moments, the gentleman returned. "Would you care to follow me, Madam?" Mary rose. She stepped after him gracefully. He led her to another room. She waited as he announced her. He stepped aside and she entered into Matthew's law chamber. She saw Matthew and her heart leapt.

"Darling, this is a pleasant surprise," Matthew said, his eyes shining. He got up from behind his desk. Mary looked about her. Matthew walked around his desk to greet her.

"I'm so sorry to disturb you, Matthew," Mary answered him. She eyed the books that lined the walls. His desk was covered with papers and files. It was a world of import and grand matters. She sighed and smiled at her lover.

"Believe me, Mary. You are a welcome distraction." He grabbed her hands and leaned against the front of his desk. "Come and kiss me," he demanded tenderly. Mary obliged him. She leaned against him and Matthew wrapped his arms about her waist. She placed her hands on his chest. Their lips met. Mary could not resist slipping her tongue into his mouth. She loved the taste of him. He pressed her against him. Reluctantly, she drew her lips away slowly. "We must talk, Matthew," she told him softly. She sat down in the chair in front of his desk. Matthew remained standing.

"What is it, Mary?" He looked at her with concern.

"I'm afraid we've been found out after all," she told him. "My parents confronted me at luncheon."

"They know that we were together in your room last night?" Matthew asked her. "But how?" He paced to the other side of the room. The house had been as silent and as dark as a tomb when he left.

Mary followed him with her eyes. "I haven't the slightest clue," she replied. "When Ma-ma raised her accusations, I couldn't lie to them."

"What did they say? How are you?" Matthew returned to her. He reached for her. She stood up next to him.

"I'm fine now that I'm with you," she told him softly. He grabbed her hand and with his other, cradled her cheek. "They were disappointed," she resumed. "It was mostly Ma-ma. Pa-pa said very little."

"What should I expect tonight?" he asked her, taking both of her hands in his. "Will your father meet me at the door with his double gun?" He arched his brow and smiled slyly at her.

She gave him a shy smile. "It is not on you, Matthew," Mary told him. "My mother demands that I go away until the wedding. She no longer trusts me around you." She gave a slight smile. "I cannot say that she is entirely wrong."

"Go away?"

"To London or to Dublin." Mary looked up at him. "Until the wedding."

Matthew leaned back against the desk. He was lost in thought. "This is so odd," he finally said. "I feel that they have no business in it. I feel as if we're already married." He looked at her.

Mary's heart swelled. "I feel the same," she told him. "What shall we do?"

He pulled her close. He studied her face. He could not imagine living without her for the next four weeks. He kissed her. He brought his hands up and held her head against his as they kissed. Mary sensed his longing for her and leaned against him. She placed her hands on his hips and pressed against him. She drew back her lips. "I love you, Matthew," she whispered.

"I love you, Mary," he replied. He stared at her. "Let's sit." He pulled a chair up next to hers. "I cannot pretend that I know the best route, Mary. All I know is what I feel." He grabbed her hand. "We should talk to them this afternoon before my mother arrives for dinner."

"And say what?" Mary searched his eyes.

"I shall tell them that you're not going anywhere, of course," Matthew replied easily.

"I cannot defy them, Matthew," she told him quietly.

He knelt beside her instantly. "Then marry me. Today if we can."

"What?" Mary laughed. "What are you saying?"

"We can make an appointment at the magistrate's office," Matthew responded, smiling. "For me, there is but one certainty in life. I cannot be happy without you near me."

"You are incorrigible, Matthew Crawley," she said. She ran her fingers through his hair and smiled at him.

"But I'm serious, Mary." He looked up at her; his eyes held the intensity of a star. "I will marry you first before they send you anywhere. They will have nothing to say about it." He framed her face with his hands. "You must not leave me, Mary. Tell me you will not leave."

Mary tilted her head as she gazed at him. "I will never leave you," she promised him.

Matthew rose and walked to the coat tree behind his desk. He grabbed his hat and overcoat. "Come then," he said as he reached out to her. She grabbed his hand and rose from the chair.

One half hour later, they were in the drawing room, waiting for her parents to arrive. They sat side by side. Upon spying the entrance of Cousin Cora, Matthew stood up. Lord Robert was directly behind her. "Good afternoon, Cora, Robert," Matthew started.

"Yes, good day, Matthew," Robert spoke for himself and his wife. Cora took her seat in the chair nearest Mary.

"I will get straight to the point then," Matthew began again.

"Please," Robert said.

"Mary and I are aware of your disappointment in us," said Matthew. "I understand it. And I'm sorry for it." He looked at each of her parents in turn. He went on, "But we cannot accept your terms. Mary does not want to leave. More to the point, I do not want her to leave."

"This is impossible," Cora uttered.

"Ma-ma, please," Mary checked her. "You must hear us out."

"Mary and I have made an appointment with the magistrate. Tomorrow afternoon at three o'clock," Matthew announced. "So we can be married tomorrow if that is what you prefer."

Cora's demeanour collapsed. "Mary, is this what you want?" she asked her in disbelief. "To be married in the fashion of a commoner?"

"What does it matter, Ma-ma? We will be married," Mary replied, smiling.

Robert stepped into the debate quietly. "Matthew, I think you've made your point. There is no need for grand gestures." He turned to Mary. "Fine, Mary, you may stay. But there are rules. Cora?"

Her face was cast down. She looked at them both. "I agree. The rules have not changed. We ask that you respect them."

"We're agreed then," Matthew stated. "I shall cancel the appointment." The four of them stared at each other in silence. "I must be off. I will see you all at dinner." Matthew smiled. "If you will still have me."

"Matthew, it would take far more than this to strain our relationship," Robert said as he walked over to him. He patted him on the shoulder. Cora joined them. "Yes, of course." She shook Matthew's hand.

"I will see you off, Matthew," Mary said as she rose from her seat. They walked together to the main entranceway. "You are my champion," she whispered to him as she kissed him good-bye. "Come back soon."

"I will," he replied. She watched him as he walked down the drive.