Authors notes:

Interrogations, silence, hope, frustration reunited with team, still with the angst I'm afraid. =p

Hope

Kono's POV

These rooms really arn't that great, chairs cold and uncomfortable, wish I wore something different this morning. Being back at headquarters, even down here is somewhat soothing... like the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel Hope for the first time in months, It's funny that I'm almost wishing for the old days of just having to deal with hiding in my office and crying in the bathroom.

I hope that the world stops raining

Stops turning its back on me

See nobody here is blameless

I hope that we can fix all that we have done

On arrival He had taken me from the car and still with handcuffs on took me through the main door, his way of letting me know he was still angry at what I had done. Once inside he released the cuffs he held my hands and inspected them my wrists were sore, but all he could see was the dry blood, I'd like think he was checking to see it wasn't my own. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the bathroom allowing me to clean up. He didn't leave just lean't agains the door, arms folded staring at me in the mirror. I scrubbed at the blood, and tried to sooth my wrists under the taps. The tension in there was unbearable, recollections of our last fights brought to mind the same feeling, he must of picked up on it also as he straightened himself up grabbed some towels and turned the tap off, ushering me out. Was it wrong to lean in to him, to appreciate his touch even as rough as it was? He pushed me down on the chair and paced the floor for what seemed like hours.

I'm hoping that change isn't hopeless

I'm hoping to start it with me

He was struggling to find words where to begin, part of me was glad that this was taking so long, as it gave Fryer time to figure out where I may be and let me help finish up the Op and hopefully save the Lady. Steve stopped and stared afew times, raised his hand to his head I guess in the hopes to refresh himself, the sight before him something he never thought he would have to deal with. If it wasn't me in this situation I would smile at the Irony. He came to a halt behind the apposing chair leaning against it and stared at me for what seemed like hours, when it just was seconds. His face drained his eyes looking for something familiar in my own, I refused to look at him, I couldn't, He'd know, He'd see, I'd break. I tried to put my game face on, recall reason's why I was so angry with him, why I had every right to not let him in. He had had his chance to show support, I no longer needed it now, I had I.A. for back up. I could feel my resolve building back up, giving me strength for a while longer atleast. "I wanna help you Kono Okay?" I heard his low gravelly voice break through my thoughts, his eyes looking for a way in. I choose to keep eye contact at a minimal choosing the wall as a better object to defer to .."I really wanna help you, you got help me help you, you gotta tell me what's going on." Desperation in his tone, Why? Was it just me, or the case he was more concerned about. I recall mumbling "I can't", "I CAN'T?" I hear the almightly crash of the chair being lifted and thrown back down, I look up and see anger in his eyes, which in return reflect my own frustration at this "Listen to me, that's not good enough, I can't is not good enough. Because today your driving in a getaway car with a dead person in the front seat Okay Kono?" His voice slowly raises as he comes around from the chair and comes closer, perhaps to intimidate me a little perhaps to attempt to shake me into submission ..."This isn't a game we're talking about two murders, I mean what were you thinking Kono Huh?" "Steve", Chin who is in the background chims in seeing that Steve is losing his cool tries to settle him down ..."I mean what happened to you?" "STEVE" Chin warn's louder "WHAT?", He knows he has crossed a line and steps back, it gives me time to let the words settle in. "What happened to me?" inside I smirk, what a good question, oh to be able to unleash all my frustrations on him at this moment, to pin him against the wall and give him some home truths, but no only he gets to be angry.

Louder, I cannot hear you

How can things be better left unsaid?

Chin comes to sit by me, here comes the hardest part, I know with him I can break, he offers me once more unconditional support, what ever I may or may not of done, he would always be with me, never leave. Part of me wishes that Steve is taking notes at how easy it is to say and mean these words. It break's my heart to shut down infront of Chin again, hoping against hope that this will be the last time I ever have to push him away, I feel my eyes stinging from tears ready to fall. Thankfully Fryer arrives, and my relief is evident in my face. Realisation dawns on Chin and Steve at what has happened, the feeling of vindication feels good. The anger and upset towards them thinking the worst still lies heavily with me. I hear Fryer and Steve's conversation in the corridor while also trying to appease Chin, I figured he would get it, after all it was no less than what he did. He was angry, but realized I learn't from the best. He still doesn't trust Fryer, he knows he was partners with Delano, this brings Steve in, concern written on his face. I know Fryer had alterior motives to use be, but Im hear now and want to help finish this investigation. The men argue over what do, for the safety of me, which in it's self it ironic to hear come from Steve after all this time, realizing all his actions to keep my safe and brought me here, I know he can't help but feel to blame, and part of me thinks that is a good thing. The sooner he figures out he can't control everything the easier his life and those around him will be. It doesn't warm my heart to hear him fighting for me, for so long I have had doubts about that side of him. "Why does it have to be Kono?" "What did you do Fryer huh?, what did you do to co-erse Kono to come work for you? Did you tell her you'd come after me after Chin?" I hear his voice catch as he says "We opened fire on her today, we could of killed her, I would never do that." Of the times, I have been waiting for him to say anything to me to say something meaningful, personal about me, part of me feel's disappointed that it came to this situation. The decision is made, I'm going back in, with 50 cover. I place a smile on my face as the plans are set in motion, being around the table in the Office doesn't quite feel right, not quite home. He keeps his eyes trained on me as he tries to gain some control of the case. I throw him a bone " Couldn't ask for better back up", I don't feel it's sincere as they do, but hope it will be enough to satisfy for a while.

I hope we still have a heartbeat

I hope we don't turn to snow

I'm in the bank, regulating my breathing, while also trying to reassure Trisha, I managed to push her to the lift before being caught by Delano and hit in the arm by a bullet. Relief floods my mind as I know this is over. I crumble to the ground and take in the wreckage of the past couple of months. I'm exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally. Hope keep me alive right now, that this hasn't all been in vain. That my badge will finally be returned, that I will once again have my career, that I won't be as alone as I have been for much longer. I step out of the Bank into the embrace of my cousin, trying to hold it in, not show my vulnrability even with him, he knows though, he senses my fears and just hugs me tighter and tells me it's all going to be ok. I see Steve approaching Fryer shortly followed by a swift right hook to the chin. "No one messes with my team", - no one but you Steve anyway. I dutifully follow the team to the Office, but make my excuses before they enter. It's been a rough day, my badge is technically not in my hand. It's best I go. Danny hugs me, and tells me he is glad to have me back, Chin looks at me and tells me he will be along in the morning. Lori nods & smiles, still a little unnerved by me I think, and they enter. Steve holds the door open, looks at me, trying to find words to express what he's feeling. Yep, somethings still never change. "I'll see you tomorrow?" I give him a firm nod, and tired smile and retreat back to the confines of my home, the safety of my room the comfort of my sheets wrapped around. I'll give myself the night to flush the emotion away. Tomorrow is another day, a new start, a new team, a different format, one that will no doubt will take some getting used to, but for tonight I'll cry for hope lost, gained and returned.

At night when you turn the lights

I hope you don't cry alone