Authors notes:

I few weeks have passed, the team are working as best as could be expected. She's trying her best to move on, to make the best of the situation working with her - ex who choose to believe the worst. Perhaps she's not prepared to wait anymore, maybe she was wrong! Maybe!

Daddy Daddy

Kono's POV

Being back at work has given me a new lease on life, the confidence to move forward, to accept the things I can't change and the courage to change the things I can! Returning back to my office, I was unsure if it was still going to be mine, I just assumed Lori would get it. Turn's out no one was willing to admit that her loss was permenant on the team, it had been used as the get together room while she was away, a way for them to still be connected to her. The photo's she had hidden in her drawer were back on the table, apparently Steve had found them and was determined to make everything as it was. He was willing to talk more to her, he even approached her office making sure she was settling in. Part of me didn't like the attentive Steve, memories still refused to leave me. He would visit with me atleast once a day, go over paperwork or case file notes, only for a few minutes until he was called away. Lori undoubtedly had a crush on him, and although was not aware of our history was still able to not be too forward, but I knew. So I was able to manage to give them a wide birth.

He's out your system, yeah it took you a while

You got your family back and you got your smile

And you promised yourself you'd never go back

Surfing was still a release in the mornings, but had been replaced in the evening, with the need to let loose in other ways. I guess being undercover had rubbed of on me a little. The joy of dancing to loud music after a long day of tension in the workplace, was something I never thought I'd be needing, and yet every evening after work I'd find myself getting ready for another night dancing till the early hours. I didn't need to drink, the joy had always been the dancing. Not really looking for a pick up, although appreciating the odd close dance when the need arised after a particularly long day intermingled with close contact, thankfully He was still keeping his distance when cases were involved I was always companioned with Chin when the need arose. Today had been one of those days, I had overheard Danny talking about Steve and him going out and flirting with some beautiful ladies and how he had begged Steve to stay out longer. Lori listening in seeming to hang on every word. Steve sitting back in a confident relaxed position smiling at the memory. Yep, today was definately a night to dance, and maybe maybe let go a little more. I walk passed them smiled and wish them goodnight. Steve sat up straight, undoubtedly unaware I may of heard. Not that I cared right?

And you try to remember that there's no way you could ever be friends.

Resolute in my actions, He's out of my system, He is my boss, we are not friends. I head into the club, searching the darkest corner and find my spot for the night. I let the rthym take over me, the bass kicks in and I feel I'm somewhere else, someone else's life, I pretend I'm not me, I could be anyone here, I blend into my surroundings, close my eyes and breath, feel the release of all the pent up frustration of the day and let the music control my moves, my mood, my desire. I sense him before I see him. He's here in my club watching me, how he spotted me tucked in the corner I'll never know, he's right infront on me. Eyes hooded showing what? emotion? desire? regret?

But now you're looking like you really like him, like him

And now your feeling like you miss him, miss him

I step back, somehow flustered by his sudden appearance, he comes closer and descends on my lips with a kiss, the stunning realization has my eyes open, I catch my breath from the surprise I forgot how it feels to live in his lie. I try to step out of whatever this is, giving me room to breath and evaluate the impact of the kiss. Is he drunk? not that I can tell. He refuses to let go of my hips stating as much as his eyes roam my face, looking for something. a sign I'm still his? I'm still there? That I've waited? I find myself dancing still, the need to not stop and question this tonight, not to cause another outburst, not yet anyway. I places my arms around neck and dare him not to dance, after all that's what I came for. A smirk crosses his face and he accepts the challenge. Our dance is slow and close, very close. His need to pull me close is not lost on me.

And now your dancing like you really need him, need him

You couldn't trust him, but you never said no

In that moment you may forget how it feel's when he's gone

I try to talk, to question how, why he is here, did he follow me? He won't answer, his need is this, right now, nothing else.. well I'd hazard a guess where this could lead but I can stay strong right? I know where this leads to. More pain, more anguish. Until he opens up this is all he is getting and for now this is as much as I can give, an agreement that we were what we were, and that something is still there. Our eyes remain trained on eachother, reading eachothers minds hoping that we could clear up all our mistakes by doing this dance.He closes his eyes and leans his forehead on my shoulder, whispering "I'll never let go" wether it was to me, wether it mean't us or what we had remains unclear. I reply with only "I know, it's been so hard doing this" I feel tears starting to fall and know this is my cue to get away before I take a 'step back' . I make my excuses to head to the bathroom, showing him no signs of not returning, I offer him my bag as insurance. And leave.

You're speaking like you really love him, love him

Put it in your pocket, don't tell anyone I gave ya

It'll be the one you run to the one that will save ya

It never gets old escaping through a window in a ladies toilet, I knew he would be keeping an eye on all exits, the hope of the bag would give me atleast a few minutes before it triggered doubt in his mind. I have to leave my car due to key's in my bag, but that's fine, the one thing about Him is I know I can trust him to return my things. I walk back streets, choosing not to grab a cab, preferring to let the night air clear my head. Trying to compartmentalize what just happened... putting the memory away for safe keeping until a time it's required as comfort or proof. Not sure how long it took for me to return to the house. I see my bag at the door a note on it simply saying:

Kono,

I'm sorry I scared you. I scared myself,

seeing you there, I don't know what took over me.

It won't happen again if that is how you feel

Your Steve

He kissed you on the lips and opened your eyes

You had to catch your breath, got such a surprise

He could be your daddy daddy if you take it gladly gladly

Oh Crap! This obviously isn't going to be as easy as first thought. Feelings are starting to rise up again, not that i did the best job in the first place to bury them. What does it mean, He wants to try again? He want's possession of me? We may never know if he doesn't talk to me properly or for that matter if I can't cope to be more than 5 mins in a room without feeling the need to hyperventilate and run. I place the note in my pocket by my heart, not on purpose I don't think! I lie in bed, feeling like I'm missing something, his arms surround me, the smell of him returns to my room. I can't make myself take my top off, it's the last thing he was close to. I'm done for, there is obviously no cure for what I have, it's terminal! He's "My Steve" after all.