Authors notes:

Don't worry people I still have atleast 5 possibly 6 chapters left. Time and will allowing! After much trepidation, I'm going to attempt Steve's POV this time, don't mind telling you I'm a tad nervous. Well here goes nothing! Wish me luck.

My Kind of Love

Steve's POV

I admit I'm not the most patient of men, okay a slight understatment. I don't know what I was thinking when I went up to here on the dance floor. The idea that she thought I was moving on, flirting with other women, suddenly triggered something inside. I knew her local haunts, I'd managed to keep track of where she frequented, and after a couple of other places I found her. She may of been tucked away in the corner dancing with herself... but all I saw was her, illuminated, everyone and thing blended into the background. I couldn't stop my feet, my body moving to be directly infront of her. I wanted to say something, to express what I had been wanting to clear up for so long, but I could do nothing but stare, drink her in, my heart felt like it was breaking out of my chest. The only thing I could think of was to Kiss her, with every ounce of my being I put everything in that kiss, the past few months of silence between us. A confirmation in a way that I had not forgotton she was mine. I didn't want to stop, the awkwardness of it would then have to be delt with. She stepped back, stunned, her mind racing, I felt her kiss back though, I did, I am sure of it. I felt her breath catch as she tried to assess the situation, her body still moving to the music in the background. I find my hands possessively on her hips, refusing to let her go. Our eyes searching eachother looking for answers unknown. Her arms reach around my neck. I close my eyes slowly as a way of saying thanks and smile my gratitude of acceptance, atleast for a while longer. We are as one dancing, I draw her close to me, wanting to feel her touch, her heart beat, her breath. I forget how intoxicating her smell is. I rest my head on her shoulder mumbling to myself more than her "I'll never let go"... this is home, she is my lifeline. I hear her say "I know, it's been so hard doing this", two seperate conversations, both agreeing that we are missed, that we are loved. She straighten's and asks me to take care of bag as she use's the ladies room. Her smile reassures me, and I feel my grip loosen. I watch her head out, awaiting her return.

I can't buy your love, don't even want to try.

Sometimes the truth won't make you happy, so I'm not going to lie.

But don't ever question if my heart beats only for you.

After only minutes I realize she isn't returning tonight, and who can blame her. I've not made it easy for her, I've done everything to make her life impossible. And yet she still continued to stand by me, refusing to leave me. That is until tonight, the feeling of been left is definately crushing, and to think I have done that multiple times to her. I suck, why she didn't just throw a punch as I came in I'll never know. I look at her bag in my hand and smile, she stills loves me, cares for me, trusts me. She knows that I can forgive her for leaving me here. I step outside and see her car, I after all have the keys. I realize there is little point searching for her, I get that she needs space, I've confused her enough for one night. I go to her house, debating on wether to stay around and wait for her return. I decide not to, wether it's the fear of not knowing what she would do, or the concern in knowing what I would try to do. Neither of us was ready to jump back in, not yet. I scramble to find paper and decide to leave her a note... a note - this is what it has come to. My inability to talk, only actions, not neccessarily the best of actions either, freaking her out like that, always a good idea in re-building a relationship, well trying to.

Kono,

I'm sorry I scared you. I scared myself. Seeing you there, I don't know what took over me. It won't happen again if that is how you feel

Your Steve

I want to say so much more, but I'm unsure of what infact I can tell her, what she is willing to hear right now. I know a letter isn't enough, and at somepoint in order for us to be together, a discussion will needed to be had, if that is what she so desires, and if I haven't completly ruined all my chances!

I know I'm far from perfect, nothing like your entourage

I can't grant you any wishes, I won't promises you stars.

But don't ever question if my heart beats only for you

I stare at the letter on the bag, still unsure what to do. Trust. Faith. Hope, words I've been stuggling to believe in for a while. Word's I've been struggling to show her for even longer. I have to prove myself, I know that. The need to protect her is still there, but seeing what she has been dealing with and still trying to protect me at all costs I realize that we will always be better/safer together. I only hope that she will give me the chance to get her back. Time, space I can give her that or have I indeed given too much of it? I slowly step away from her porch refusing to loose contact of the bag and letter till I'm behind the wheel. Still I have to really pull myself together force myself to turn the key in the ignition and reverse out. I don't believe I've ever driven this slow in my life. I find myself looking for her on my drive home. I know I could find her in a heart beat, but realize that's not what she needs right now. For now I stare at faces in the street as I drive by. They all look like her though.

I know sometimes I get angry, and I say what I don't mean.

I know I keep my heart protected, far away from my sleeve.

But don't ever question if my hearts beats only for you

I walk around my home, how have I not noticed how quiet and empty it is? I see moments of Our history play out in rooms. Yelling, pleading, making up, laughing crying. Every room tells me a different story of my failure to listen to you, to let you in, to share with you my thoughts. The times I screwed up and you allowed me to get away with it, because you knew what it was really about. You are wise beyond your years that's for sure. Trying to find answers to question not yet asked, hoping for clarity before the night is over. I'm struggling to stay in my home, let alone head upstairs to bed. Sleep? What is that? I've not had a good nights sleep in a long time. Admitteding to myself how much I miss you is a step. To actually vocalize it out loud to the room. "Kono, what have I done?" I hear my voice break, I feel myself slide down the wall, and crumble to the ground.

And when your crying out.

When you fall and then can't pick, you're heavy on the ground

When the friends you thought you had haven't stuck around

I recall the moments I saw you race to bathroom at the office, knowing why you had gone there, wanting to take it away. Those times I lean't by the door and heard your tears fall. It's the least I could do, I deserved to carry that burden also, it was afterall my doing. I placed them there. I hated myself for what I did, what I turned you into to get by, to survive. And now, what right do I have to cry, this is my fault, all my doing, I brought this on myself. Why am I struggling to kept it together now. These memories you've left me with unknowingly, I was there, I was supporting you as best I as knew how. I was wrong, I know no matter what I thought was best, We, I, had abandoned you, left you to believe you were nothing but a criminal. I was so scared knowing how close we had been to shooting you. I was so angry, with myself, I had only you to direct it at. I saw the hurt in your eyes, the disappointment when you turned away at the office door. Needing to give yourself a day to take in the climax of months of betrayl and desceit on both sides. Worry that you'd never fully fit in again. You needn't of worried, the moment of clarity came in the interrogation room with Fryer "You underestimate Kono!" That's been my problem all along hasn't it? I haven't given you enough credit, at work, at home, our relationship.

Cause when you've given up.

When no matter what you do it's never good enough.

When you never thought that it could ever get this tough,

That's when you feel my kind of love.

At some point I've fallen into a sleepy haze, I find myself in the same crumpled heap by the wall, it's still early, barely dawn, I see my phone flashing, a message. A message from you.

Steve,

I want it to happen again, I want us to happen again. I'm scared it's too late though. Are you ready? Can you be honest with me? Can you let me in this time? If any of these questions are hard to answer then let me go. I can't do this again. The price is too high to pay.

Always have been Your Kono

I stand to my feet, eyes barely focusing at what I read infront of me. You've not given up on me, you want us. I'm not willing to wait another minute. With no hesitation in my mind, I know with out a shadow of a doubt the answer to all those question's a resounding 'YES' whatever it takes to prove to you, I'm indeed worth not giving up on. That I can be a better man, friend, boyfriend, partner, husband, father, I want all these things with you. For the first time in soo long, I see a glimpse into our future, an ephiany of what may be, and what could come to pass. I want it all.

I race to my car, no time to waste, whatever it takes, I'm not giving up this time, I can't, I won't fail you again.