Chapter 6: Anything but Normal!

I was walking back to Joe so he could feed Pablo, but on the way there Chili Bob wanted to play. He hopped off my shoulders, and laid down in front of me, swishing his tail.

"Chili, not now. No play time. My friend's birdie has an owie, O.K.?" I said, kind of baby-ish.

Chili tipped his head to the side, and I swear he had a confused look on his face.

"Mreow?" Chili meowed.

"…Don't…look at me like that!"

"How about this?" Chili said, adding a glare to his eyes.

I took my helmet off, thinking it was on too tight or something! I rubbed my ears, looked at Chili, and he responded,

"What the hell are you doing?"

My eyes were huge right now, and I started slowly stepping back.

"Did you just talk? Cats don't talk! They just don't!"

"Hey, can you put the helmet back on? The wig museum called, they want their wig back."

I slipped my helmet on, and responded,

"That was unnecessary."

"More necessary than you think."

"Wow…I am talking to a kitten. I DO need a vacation."

"Come ooonnn…stay home, kick back, eat some chili."

"No, I am being forced to by Joe."

"Come on, we'll eat a turkey."

"But-"

"I'll save you the wishbone…"

"Let's go."

As I was walking away, Chili Bob trailed behind saying,

"Come on, dude. Wake up and smell the tea."

…

When we finally got to Joe, I handed him the fishing bait.

"Thanks, Pablo is doing well. It won't be long before we are on our way to vacation again." Joe said.

"Joe, I need to tell you something." I said.

"Ok…I know you didn't have parents, but I am NOT giving you "the talk"!"

"What? No! TELL you something!"

"Is it anything sexual related?"

"No."

"Then I will listen."

"Chili Bob…can talk…"

"…What?"

"This kitten I got at the pet shop," I picked up Chili Bob and held him out, "and on the way here he talked to me!"

"…Pablo, get well soon. Chase is going crazy from over working."

If Pablo had hands, he'd probably have them on his face.

"Just listen! Chili Bob, speak!"

"Meow!" meowed Chili Bob.

"Chili! Don't make me look crazy! Well…I am kind of since I have no parents, but talk now!"

Chili looked at me innocently.

"Chili. Either you talk on your own, or I make you."

"Meeooww!"

I then held Chili by his head.

"MRREEEOOWWW! HISSS!" Chili hissed.

Then Chili dug his claws through my barrows gloves and THREW me up and over him, until I slammed on the ground. Joe jumped back, drawing his crossbow, yelling,

"Holy shit!"

"Woah, woah, woah! Don't shoot! I'm too awesome to die!" panicked Chili.

Joe dropped his crossbow, eyes bugged out.

"You know Chase…sometimes I wonder…why the HELL did I save you?"

"C'mon…" Chili said, "A guy with a crossbow, another guy who is mental from having no parents, a raven the size of a cockatrice, and a talking, purple kitten. Why wouldn't you want to save somebody for a team like this?"

"We just got served." I said.

Joe put his hand on his face, and then Chili Bob said,

"Facepalm. Because expressing how dumb that was in words just isn't enough."

Joe smiled and said,

"Ok, this is a pretty cool cat."

"I'm kind of hungry. If there's no chili, I'll settle for Big Bird over there." Chili said.

"You were saying?" I smirked.

"I don't like him." Joe glared.

"Oh come on, Joe. I wouldn't eat him."

"That's good to know." Joe said, looking relieved. He knew very well Chili Bob could kill Pablo.

"You didn't let me finish. I wouldn't eat him NOW. When I am an adult, maybe I could eat all of him."

"You just stay away from Pablo."

"Ooo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Mexican food! My favorite!"

"You should probably shut up now…" I whispered.

"I probably wouldn't eat all of him. Mexican food turns my intestines into a freakin' log flume like NO other." He smiled.