Willow's POV

Xander says that Angel is back. He's angry because Buffy kept it a secret and I can't blame him. Yes, he was her boyfriend, but he had something to do with us all. He endangered us all before.

Not that I'd want to throw him out of town or anything like Xander's suggesting but I would have liked to be warned. Kept in the loop, you know. Buffy doesn't know when his soul could leave again and I don't want to continue being fucking stalked and 'romanced' by him. Especially if I wasn't ready for another of our 'dates'.

Buffy knew. That Angelus had a thing for me. Okay, he had one for her too, obviously. She chose to believe that was his soul still trying to get control.

But I knew. Angelus hated her for the same reasons that Angel loved her. Maybe he hated her because Angel loved her. But whatever the point, sure there was chemistry there. Passion. But not in any kind of lovey dovey way. I would bet a million bucks that Angelus would have raped, tortured, and then drained Buffy in an instant if he'd gotten the chance.

Not to say I'd fair any better. Who knows what he'd have done with me. But the point is, he didn't get the chance last time. But this time...Buffy should have told us!

Now everything makes since. The vivid, terrifying nightmares of being abused in hell that had started when Angel left and seemed to vary in intensity with no pattern, had stopped suddenly. I figured that whatever bond my soul had with his had been severed. He'd either perished...but can you die in hell? Or he'd lost his soul, probably by some demon deal.

I'd only discovered recently that he'd had the soul when Buffy stuck him. I'd thought it was just my own guilt and subconscious turning against me. The dreams made since after I found out. And now I understood why they stopped, and suddenly I was angrier than before. Because it was December and they'd stopped in September. Buffy had been hiding this for months.

And how long would she have continued if Xander hadn't caught on?

Angel's POV

I'm recovering. Able to speak sentences and not cower at every loud noise. God, I was pathetic. But I'm getting better.

Buffy comes by everyday since she found me.

I still love her. Maybe it isn't as passionate as before. I don't feel the bittersweet pang whenever we're together. The one that reminds me that no matter what we'll never last forever. Now, it's mellowed.

Sure. I still find her attractive. Who wouldn't? And I still lust after her when I get a peek of her body as we train together. But then I'll get flashes of the same thing, in my old apartment, with the redhead.

Willow. Her name is Willow. Don't think of her...

Sometimes I still call Buffy 'the blonde fighter' in my head. I'm just getting used to names again, finally remembering them and other words.

Pain. Scared. Alone. Those were the words I thought of mostly during my time in hell. I'm so lonely. Don't be scared, it'll be okay. Oh, it hurts. It hurts. Those were the extent to my thought processes back then.

Now I'm back. I'm not sure why or how, but I'm back. And I'm more grateful than I could ever imagine. Buffy must have done this. Somehow. It can't be a coincidence that I'd found her ring as soon as I'd awoken here. It had to have been here. And that made me feel slightly guilty, because while I was grateful and I loved her, that knowledge didn't seem to bring our passion back.