Mass Effect 30 Day Challenge Day 13

Prompt 13: Favourite Turian

Spoilers: Mass Effect 3

WARNING: LOTS of Shakarian feels

Title: Safe

In Transit, Thessia to the Citadel, 2186 CE

Kara Shepard woke up with a jerk and a soft gasp, almost sitting upright in her bed at the shock. It took her a second to get her bearings and pull herself out of the dreamworld and back to the reality of her cabin. The only light came from the ambient blue glow of the fish tank along the right wall, and she lay back onto her pillow and looked through her skylight to watch the stars rush by.

Every single night, she thought. Every single goddamned night.

She turned to her left and saw that Garrus had not stirred upon her waking. She was glad – the only person on this ship who needed sleep more than she did was the Turian, who lay with his back to her, his shoulder slowly rising and falling in deep breaths.

Slowly, so as not to disturb him, Shepard slipped out of the bed and padded across the cabin towards her bathroom. She knew it would take more than splashing some water on her face to get their faces out of her head – the Asari being ripped apart by Brutes on Thessia, Thane as Kai Leng's sword pierced his chest, Mordin's resolved bravery as he stepped into the elevator on Tuchanka, Kaidan Alenko giving her the salute she hadn't realized would be his last on Virmire – but she did it anyway, leaning on the sink and looking at herself in the mirror. Dark circles ringed her eyes, her hair was tousled from tossing and turning, and she'd lost weight in the last few months.

Of course, she thought to herself. It's hard to gain weight when you barely eat anything anymore. She shook her head at herself. Steady diet of liquor and stims, she thought. That's really healthy Kara. Nice work. Hero of the Citadel, such a shining fucking example, a bastion of humankind.

Shepard continued to lean against the sink, the metal cold on her palms. She stayed that way for what felt like an age, staring down at the water as it slowly drained, her thoughts still intertwined with the faces of the lost. They never seemed to leave her, ghosts buried in her conscious mind. So many gone, she thought. So many good people. So many people I couldn't save…

Shuddering suddenly, Kara held back a sob. She had never been much for crying, and she wasn't going to let a little war against evil machines hell-bent on wiping out all organic change that, but it all ached inside her, the loss, the fear, the uncertainty. How would they know if this was enough? What if it wasn't?

What if after all this, after so many dead, they failed?

Shepard stepped backwards and slid down to sit on the cold tile of her bathroom floor, wrapping her arms around her knees and digging her fingernails into the flesh. She couldn't give in now, she was the example, the entire galaxy was watching her. She was the strength of humanity, and the strength of humanity did not break down and cry, not even when there was no-one around to see.

The soft hiss of the door opening make Shepard look up and she saw Garrus standing just beyond it, looking concerned. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to be alone or not," he said. "But it's late, and you have enough trouble sleeping as it is. What's wrong Kara?"

Kara Shepard looked up at him, meeting his inquiring blue eyes, staring at the Turian and taking him in, the man who had started out a young C-Sec Officer with something to prove, now the wise military advisor to the Primarch. He'd been through hell and back with her more than once, and now here he stood, and somehow he had known that she hadn't just gotten up to use the restroom or drink a glass of water. Kara had always promised herself she'd never fall in love, but here she was, practically married to this wonderful and dedicated man who never left her side unless duty called for it or she asked him to.

And she couldn't ask him to.

She had never cried in front of anyone, not even after Akuze, not when her friends died, but somehow his presence changed everything.

Around him, it was okay for her to crack the facade.

"Garrus…" she whispered. Tears began streaming down her cheeks and her knuckles turned white as she gripped even tighter at her knees. She couldn't stop either, not now that the dam had been breached, and she began to sob loudly, uncontrollably.

He was by her side in an instant, one arm around her shoulders and one hand resting on hers. He placed his forehead against her forehead and held her close, saying nothing but telling her everything with a single look.

You are not alone.

Kara didn't know how long she cried, or how long the two of them sat on the bathroom floor. They barely moved, except for Garrus occasionally wiping salty tears off of her cheeks or running his claws gently through her hair. She wanted to explain it all to him, talk out all her grief and share the burden that weighed so heavily in her chest, but all she needed was his touch, the look in his eyes, and that roguelike certainty that he seemed to radiate with every move. She met his eyes again and his thoughts were again brilliantly clear.

I am here for you.

As her sobs slowly died down, Garrus gently slid one arm under her knees and wrapped another around her back, lifting her as if she weighed next to nothing. She didn't resist, wrapping an arm around his neck and burying her face against his shoulder, resting her hot cheeks against his hardened exoskeletal plates. He still said nothing, simply carried her back to bed and laid her gently on the cool sheets. She looked up at him as he slipped in behind her and she didn't need to say anything either. Tears still glittered in her eyes and her nose was red from prolonged crying. The Turian wiped a final tear from her cheek and gently wrapped his arms around her, holding her with her back against his chest, one of his talon-like hands resting just over her heart.

She didn't need to tell him she had never cried like that in front of anyone before, that nobody else would ever see her cry like that.

He didn't need to tell her that he understood.

She didn't need to say that the only place she ever felt truly safe was in his arms.

He didn't need to reply that he felt the same.

She let her fingers entwine with his and she felt his forehead gently rubbing against her neck, nuzzling her in the dark.

She did not sleep, and neither did he, but the two of them remained close together until it was time to rise for the day, exchanging no words but only touch, speaking volumes without sounds ever passing their lips. Giving themselves a small amount of time before the storm in which to feel safe.

She rolled over and rested a hand on the left side of his face, still criss-crossed with faded scars. She smiled and looked into his eyes, which resonated with a silent I love you.

She rested her head against his chest and squeezed his hand in the dark. I love you too.

*
Answer: Garrus Vakarian

Like you guys didn't see that one coming. Shep/Garrus is my OTP. Any prompt involving them is going to be extremely mushy. I'd apologize, but these two crazy kids deserve some love after everything they've been through.