Mass Effect 30 Day Challenge: Day 18

Prompt 18: Things you'd change about the series.

SPOILERS: Mass Effect 3

Standstill

Normandy SR-2, In Transit, 2186 CE

"How much longer until we get to the Cerberus base?" Garrus gently rested a hand on Shepard's shoulder – he wasn't worried about waking her, he knew that after the latest round of nightmares she wouldn't be falling asleep any time soon.

She rolled over and sighed. "Last time I checked we had about three hours left on the flight path," she said. "Plenty of time to not get any sleep and ruminate on bad dreams."

Garrus pulled her closer to him on the bed and held her in silence for a while. She let him, even though she was feeling restless. She felt a bit like a caged animal, itching to get past all the waiting and just do it already, just storm the Cerberus base and rescue everyone on Earth and defeat the Reapers.

And, of course, while she was at it, bring back all the dead, and get herself a unicorn that farts candy and cocaine, among other impossible things.

"Ever wish it had happened differently?" Garrus asked her softly, his breath tickling one of her ears.

She turned to him and rested her head on his chest. "Wished what happened differently?" she asked.

Garrus shrugged and put an arm around her. "You know, life. Ever wish you'd never gotten involved in all this mess with Saren and the Reapers and the whole galaxy falling apart at the seams? Ever wish you'd had a normal life?"

Shepard chuckled and looked up at him. "I was a spacer kid," she said. "I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually lived on a planet. I didn't exactly start out with a 'normal' life."

Garrus chuckled too and gently ran his claws through her hair. "Fair enough," he said, looking up through the window in Shepard's roof at the rapidly passing stars. "I don't know, I just wonder how things would be different if…" he trailed off.

"If we weren't soldiers?" Shepard asked.

"Something like that," Garrus replied. "Though for that to happen I'd have to have been born something other than Turian. The military's just in our blood."

"That's how it was in my family," Shepard said. She could hear Garrus' heart beat through his chest. "I come from a long line of soldiers."

"Another thing we have in common," Garrus said, leaning down to nuzzle the top of her head.

She smiled. "We have plenty of things in common," she said. "We both have a keen sense of justice, we're both good shots with a rifle, we're both terrible dancers."

"Hey now," Garrus pulled her upwards until her face rested against his. "You're the one with the terrible reputation for dancing, I've at least got some rhythm."

"You'll have to prove that the next time we're on the Citadel Vakarian," Shepard grinned. Then her smile faded. "Well, except…"

They both fell silent. Garrus interlaced his fingers with Shepard's and the two of them turned to look up and out of her window at the stars. The words sat unspoken between them.

The Citadel as they knew it was no more.

"I know what I'd wish," Garrus said softly, squeezing her hand.

"What would you wish for?" Shepard asked.

"The chance to prove to you that I'm a good dancer."

She laughed. "Keep dreaming Vakarian," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Maybe when we finally kill Kai Leng you can dance a jig for me over his bleeding corpse."

"I'll think about it," Garrus laughed, and the two of them settled back against the pillows again.

A long moment passed before Shepard spoke again. "I'd just wish for more time," she said.

Garrus leaned down and gave her an appraising look. "More time for what?"

She shrugged and leaned against him. "More time for us," she said. "I mean, think about it, the closest thing we've had to a date is shooting at beer cans off the top of the presidium. This isn't exactly a traditional romance."

Garrus gave her a smile. "Come on Commander," he said. "Is there anything about either of us that's traditional?"

She smiled back and they shared a brief kiss before she spoke again. "All the same," she said. "I wish that we'd had more time. I mean, the first few months I knew you we were just working together, hellbent on stopping Saren. And after that… well…" she shrugged sheepishly. "I was sort of dead for two years."

Garrus rested his head against hers. "And then we went on a crazed suicide mission to stop the Collectors," he said. "And both got tied up with our respective racial politics. And ever since I've seen you again it's been pretty much nothing but work work work all the time."

"See?" Shepard said. "Not that I don't enjoy having you by my side every time we have to go into a fight, it's just…" she bit her lip and sighed. "It's hard to think about life after this war. About the things I want. About love."

Garrus gently lifted a hand to her face and turned it so she could look into his eyes. "We'll have time," he said softly, giving her a light kiss on the forehead. "After we destroy the Reapers."

Shepard gently ran a hand over the right side of his face, the side with the old scars, and sighed again. "I hope so," she said.

Garrus adjusted her so that she rested on his chest again. "Don't think about that now," he said. "We've still got a few hours before the world falls down around us."

Shepard nodded and closed her eyes. "Yeah," she whispered. "We do."

They didn't speak again, only lay entwined in the semi-darkness of Shepard's cabin. They both thought but left unsaid a mutual desire, the wish they hadn't shared.

Maybe, just once, just for us, time will come to a standstill and we can stay in this moment here.

We can stay in the calm before the storm.

Answer: More time with Garrus

Again with the Shakarian feels. I don't know, I enjoy the dynamic of the Garrus romance and the almost bro-like sarcasm and teasing relationship he has with Shepard even if they're romantically involved, but I still like to think that when no-one else is watching, the two of them act disgustingly sweet and in love and all regretful that they couldn't have more time together before the stupid war fucked things up. I don't know. Feels. I have them.