Here is part two. There should be one more chapter after this.

Pay attention to the dates, things jump around a lot.

Enjoy.

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (in the pain), is there healing
In your name (in your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

Friday, January 30, 1942 10:47 AM, Saint Finbar's Ladies Academy

One winter day, in the middle of a rather boring history lesson on the global effects of the domestication of donkeys, Susan had an epiphany. It was not life altering or anything of that nature, it was simply a deeper understanding of the world as she knew it. Until that moment, Susan had assumed that her life revolved around classes, friends and parties; not necessarily in that order. However, with the suddenness of a light bulb being switched on, Susan realized that her life revolved around something else entirely. Something more solid, more real. There was a pillar in her life that she had somehow missed in her equation. Peter. How she could have forgotten him was beyond her. The next thing she realized was that he was the thing keeping her from letting go and having fun at the parties she attended. So she made a decision, much like the one she had made a while ago concerning that silly children's game. Time to let go of everything that was holding her back, the same way she had gotten over that dull old day dream.

Thursday, August 25, 1949 10:47 AM, The Pevensie Home, Finchley

As Susan sat staring out her window her mind drifted back to the time she had spent with her siblings. She traced her relationship with them back through the years. When she reached late January 1942, she found a problem. She remembered the conclusion she had reached after her epiphany. But now, with the gift of hindsight, she realized that she had never really been able to completely separate herself from her family. He had remained her pillar up to the moment he died. And now, as she sat alone, the fact that she was adrift in her own life, without an anchor to hold her through the storm, became the dominant thought in her mind. So she did the only thing she had the strength left to do. She lay back on her bed and let go.

As the darkness pressed in, Susan noted that even on the edge of oblivion there was no peace for her soul. Shadows telling her it would never end, there is no escape. Then the whispers of darkness were shattered by a powerful light and a distant sound that she could not identify. For a moment Susan was back in a time when life was happy and love was strong. Then it was gone, so fast she thought she might have imagined it. The darkness was back, stronger than ever. Susan began to fight the shadow, but she knew it was already too late. She had strayed too close to the edge. As she fought she became aware of other things; the darkness was silent now, she was not as cold as she had been before. Then something else caught her attention. Or perhaps she just opened her eyes for the first time. She stared for a moment, wondering if it would disappear like a mirage in a desert. But it did not. And when she looked away then back again, it was still there. A light, dim and distant, but there. Summoning strength she was not aware she had, she fought her way toward the light.

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK

Tuesday, June 4, 1940 3:27 PM, Professor Kirke's Mansion

Susan was getting rather tired of surprises. Mostly because they tended to be bad, but also because they ruined the order she was striving to create in their lives. But as she lay on her back in the meadow behind the Professor's mansion, she decided that picnics were the exception to the rule. She also decided that picnics, shared with her siblings, swapping tales of Narnia, were the best way to spend a sunny afternoon. No matter how much they upset the order of things.

Thursday, August 25, 1949 3:27 PM, Unknown

In darkness I wait. Struggling toward the light brings memories to the surface. Each one giving me strength to go just a little further. My family together, whole and strong, dominates the rush of memories. I am almost there, so close, yet there are no more memories surfacing to give me strength. I can feel one, just under the surface, slipping from my grasp. I remember a picnic we went on. But it is like a shadow of a memory, not fully there. Sliding through my fingers. I tried again and was lost in a memory of a distant train ride.

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

Saturday, December 20, 1941 6:17 PM, A Train Car

The train ride stretched into eternity. Susan thought it became a bit more bearable after the boys joined them. Now the four of them were packed together in the chilly car. Well, Susan was snuggled against Lucy and Peter, but Edmund was pressed against the window, trying to see if he could figure out the name of the next stop. His goal was to determine how far they were from home. After the cheerful announcement that they were approximately two-thirds of the way home, Edmund joined the pile.

Susan was the first to break the huddle. Leaving when the conversation turned to things she did not want to discuss. She had almost fallen asleep against when the train screeched to a halt quite suddenly. Peter immediately went to inquire about the unscheduled stop and Susan rejoined her younger siblings. When Peter returned he explained that high winds had knocked a couple of trees down over the tracks. They would be clear and moving again in no time. Lucy leaned against Edmund looking relieved. Edmund just smiled at her and reminded Lucy that no matter how far they were from home, there was someone who could always find them. Lucy smiled, nodded and said, "Aslan."

Thursday, August 25, 1949 6:17 PM, The Pevensie Home, Finchley

Aslan. The word was an echo, a whisper, a prayer and a mighty roar all in one magnificent noise. It swept through the darkness of Susan's mind, filling her with a light that had been dearly missed.

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (In the pain) there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')

Monday, August 25, 1941 6:18 PM, The Pevensie Home, Finchley

Susan had given the decision careful consideration. She had looked at it from every angle. It just was not worth the waste of time to pretend any longer. It was all just a game. She was too old for such things. So, as of 6:18 PM on Monday the 25th of August, 1941, Susan Pevensie did not believe.

Thursday, August 25, 1949 6:18 PM, The Pevensie Home, Finchley

As of 6:18 PM on Thursday the 25th of August, 1949, Susan Pevensie believed. But with the belief came a shadow of doubt. She had given up Narnia, sent it so far she could never catch up. Darkness came, creeping up on the edges of her mind. But this time Susan knew how to fight back. Please help me. She prayed silently then added a vocal plea: "Aslan."

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