I was happy with the reviews this story got already- most people don't realize how much just a short "I like this story" or "Cool. This is funny." means to an author. So thank you reviewers :) My other work in progress is A Funny Kind of Thing and has a different tone to it than this silly little story, and takes more time to write due to the description I put in it, but readers of this story will be pleased to know that it will come along much more quickly, a chapter or two a week at least. And I actually know the rough plotline of this story- I haven't even figured out where my other one is going to lead yet xD But anyway, that's all I wanted to mention. Expect another chapter real soon guys, and thank you for the reviews! :)
(Oh, and other miscellaneous author updates will go on my main lookup page. So look there if you're interested to know the progress of my stories or any other relevant information.)
The rest of the bus ride was over quickly, and soon the lurch of the vehicle rolling to a stop was felt. The children swarmed off the bus, and Dib was knocked in the head multiple times by elbows and bags.
"Oh, sorry Dib." Chunk sneered as a particularly heavy bag collided with the back of Dib's head. Rubbing the spot angrily, Dib huffed and picked his own blue bag up from under his chair, ignoring Zim's quiet cackle. After a minute of standing in front of his seat waiting to get off, he heard Zim tapping his foot impatiently from behind him as the line of students streamed by. But nobody parted enough for Dib to even squeeze in, until finally the last student in line hurried past. Stepping out into the aisle, dib skittered towards the exit of the bus. The clicking of Zim's boots behind him was unnerving and the sooner he was out of a small, empty, contained area with the space monster, the happier he would be.
Following the cluster of pupils as they filed into the check in office, the sing-songy voice of a few chaperones began directing the mob of students into groups of boys and girls.
"Dib-beast!" The shrill exclamation from behind him made Dib flinch slightly, and when he turned around, Zim had an eye narrowed as he appeared to sniff the wind.
"Why does it smell…like it smells?" the Irken demanded, waving a hand in the air attempting to demonstrate the presence of the scent.
"That's the ocean, moron. It's the salt water. Did you do any research at all before you decided to go?" Dib asked flatly, raising an eyebrow at the alien who continued to inhale deeply.
"Of course I did, meatbag. I assume that sound is the filthy ocean as well?" the Invader asked, tilting his head to the side a little. As usual, only Dib noticed the wig rise up an inch or so.
"I…guess so. I don't hear anything." Dib tilted his head also and concentrated hard, but all he heard were singing crickets and the voices of the students.
"That's because of your disgusting, inferior hyuuman ears." Zim said triumphantly. Dib watched in amusement as the smirk was wiped off Zim's face by a gushing chaperone.
"Come on you two! You go to the boy's side, hmhm!" The blonde woman giggled and picked Zim up, oblivious to his shrieks of "Unhand me, pig woman!" and "PUT ZIM DOWN THIS INSTANT!"
Dib chuckled evilly as he followed behind, smile widening at Zim's efforts to escape; he wasn't really trying, Dib knew, as that would draw attention to him- but the fit he was throwing was definitely fun to watch as the site coordinator began passing out room keys and droning instructions like a robot.
"Now listen up, children; these are the keys to your lodge. The large one opens the complex- the small one opens your individual double room." The coordinator paused and pointed at the keys imploringly, speaking as though the beings he talked to had rocks for brains. "If you lose them, eat them, burn them, bury them, or lend them out, you will not receive another set- you will be sleeping outside. And the raccoons do get hungry…" the coordinator trailed off eerily, shrinking down and quivering as he cast his gaze into the darkness at the edge of the pool of light from the lamp posts. Recovering after a moment, he perked up and added "Oh, and your complex and room number are written on the tag attached to the keyring. Try not to get lost on the way there…the raccoons are ever vigilant…" the coordinator cringed again and slunk quickly back into the management building, and the audible sound of a lock was heard, followed by two bolts sliding into place, a hook latch jingling, and three padlocks clicking.
"Ok…that was weird…" Dib mumbled, and glanced at his tag. The tag was a faded blue, the numbers 3-C written on the paper in runny old ink. Looking up, he noticed Zim had finally wriggled away from the bubbly chaperone and was looking at his respective tag. Glancing up at Dib after quietly sounding out the human number and letter of his, Zim frowned.
"Dib, I hope you get lost and get eaten by these…raccoons. It would be most enjoyable." Zim stated, turning and marching down the row of beach houses as the other students also attempted to locate their rooms.
"Stupid space idiot. How could I get lost? All the houses are right here." Dib said to himself under his breath, and hefted his bag higher up on his shoulder as he too trotted down the row, reading the number designations of each house. "2D…3A…3B… here it is, 3C. I wonder who I'm getting paired up with in this place." Dib thought, pushing the large brass key into the lock and turning it, listening to the rusted old bolt slide as the door swung open. The beach houses were really nothing special (the school was low on funding as it was without sending an entire class to extravagant getaways) , the paint on the walls peeling in places and a few cobwebs in the corners. A crude attempt at an art piece was sitting on the scuffed coffee table, the shells that were glued onto it cracked and pitted from what looked like years of abuse and nasty falls.
A couple boring pictures adorned the walls featuring a shoreline, a yellow conch shell, and a fish with disturbingly large eyes that seemed to sap Dib's soul away the more he looked at it. Shuddering at the soul-raping fish, Dib looked at the light coming from the kitchen area- his lodge mates must have gotten here before him and decided to congregate in the kitchen. Quietly stepping towards the open door, Dib peeked around the corner and felt a stone of dread settle in his stomach. Chunk leaned against a counter sipping a poop soda, conversing with The Letter M.
"Not Chunk…! The Letter M doesn't go out of his way to be mean to me, but if I got the same room as Chunk…." Dib thought unhappily, missing the sound of the front door shutting as the last person entered.
"Dib trash! Get out of Zim's lodge immediately!" the voice caused Dib to groan- not him. Anyone but him.
Turning around and bracing for the confrontation, Dib yelled back "I was here first! And this is the lodge I'm supposed to be at, anyway. See? Look at my tag."
"IRRELEVANT! Stop changing the subject, Earth stink! Leave!" the Irken screamed back, looking like he was about to try and forcibly remove Dib from the house.
Dib opened his mouth to retort back, when he felt a shove from his right and staggered over with an "Oof!"
"Aw no, not both of you dweebs. No way am I staying in the same room as either one of you. You're a loser" Chunk looked at Dib "and you're a weirdo." he finished, swapping his glare to Zim. "M, give me your keys." He said, and M wordlessly handed them over. Stomping over to Dib, Chunk wrenched the keys out of his grip and tossed M's set at him. "You two idiots can stay together in the crummy room on the right. I'd sooner have my organs ripped out than bunk with either of you."
"That can be arranged." Zim said darkly, and took a small step forward, eyes narrowing.
"Yeah, I'm sure." Chunk drawled and rolled his eyes, ignoring the threat in Zim's countenance. "Come on M, the sooner we're away from them the less infected with their weirdness we'll get." Chunk said to the two-toothed kid, tugging him to the room on the left and slamming the door.
"Ugh. This is all your fault, Dib monster!" Zim accused, pointing at Dib as he trudged towards their room.
"How is this my fault? We weren't assigned the same room in the first place! If it wasn't for Chunk, I wouldn't have to be putting up with you right now at all- some poor other fool would!" Dib volleyed back, following Zim and claiming the bed near the window as his.
"Well if your head wasn't so hideously enormous, Dib, I could fill it with…with puppies….and you wouldn't be annoying anymore!" Zim bit back, clearly pulling the ending half of his insult from who-knows-where.
"What do puppies have to do with…? Oh whatever, this still isn't my fault."
"Yes it is, filth."
"No it isn't, space fungus."
"Yes it is, dirtbag!"
"No it isn't, space boy!"
The argument proceeded as such as the two unpacked their things, getting progressively stupider as time wore on.
"Brain meat…duck!
"Stupid... uh, uniform!"
"Dumb legs!"
"Rrrgghhh!"
Eventually the two ended up a mere few inches from each other, growling in tandem angrily. After a while Dib leaned back and took a deep breath. "Zim, if we're going to last a single day in the same room together without killing each other, we're going to have to make a temporary truce."
Zim also stood back and quieted, but lifted his lip in a snarl as he ground out "How do I know you will not betray me? This is the perfect opportunity for you to expose me."
Dib also frowned, but said "Because that's what a truce is all about. I promise not to try to expose you in this house, as long as you promise not to kill me, or do tests on me, or any other weird alien-y things. So, truce?" Dib asked, holding out his hand.
Zim regarded it for a moment, slitting his eyes suspiciously as he seemed to mull it over."…Very well, human. I accept your terms. But if you try anything, the agreement is void and I am free to vaporize your ridiculous arms." The two shook hands, Zim making a disgusted face at the contact and pulling back quickly. Dib glared at his nemesis a while longer before turning and heading to his bed and small nightstand, filling the drawers with his clothes and unpacking his laptop and pajamas. Glancing subtly over his shoulder, Dib noticed Zim doing the same and wondered if the alien even knew what pajamas or a bathing suit were.
An unspoken air of tension crackled heavily in the room, and Dib gathered up his bathroom necessities and ducked into the dimly lit small restroom. The mirror was fashioned to look like a porthole, and the shower curtain had a dolphin print. The countertop was a smooth black marble, cracked in only a few places. "If they only got some stuff fixed and restored, this could be a way snazzier place…" Dib thought, picking his toothbrush and toothpaste out of his small train case bag. Turning on the tap, Dib proceeded to brush his teeth.
Falling into the repetitive swishing motion boredly, Dib didn't notice the green head slowly creep into focus behind him in the stained mirror. When he did finally glance up, he spat out his toothbrush with a "Phtoo!" and whipped around, meeting the confused stare of the undisguised alien.
"What are you doing in here, stink meat? Do… is that rabies? IS IT THE RACCOONS?" Zim demanded, growing increasingly agitated.
Giving him a flat stare, Dib mumbled around the froth "No. I was brushing my teeth, dumbass." Turning his back to the alien, he spat out the bubbles and wiped his mouth clean.
"Why are you out of your disguise? Aren't you even a little worried I'll go running yelling alien?" Dib asked as Zim propped himself against the doorframe lazily.
"I was. But those contacts are so damn scratchy- I knew I wasn't going to be able to tolerate them for three days straight. Besides, I could have vaporized you twice by now, stabbed you at least eleven different times, and even set you on fire. So you clearly must be honoring the bargain." Zim said, inspecting his gloves.
"Well gee, thanks for not…doing any of those wonderful things."Dib muttered, placing his toothbrush and paste back in his case and digging through it for his hairbrush. Taking it out after a second, Dib began to pull it through his hair as a thought occurred to him. "Did you even bring pajamas?" he asked, moving onto the scythe-like part of his hair and shaping it carefully.
"Computer told Zim to bring them, but I never bothered asking why." Zim answered, appearing bored with the discourse, leading Dib to wonder why he had bothered to intrude on his hygiene time in the first place.
"Man you're ignorant." Dib said, and shot a glance at the alien from around his arm as he finished brushing the end of his hair. "You sleep in pajamas."
Zim raised one antenna slightly, and shifted his weight. "Why? What is wrong with normal clothing?"
"Well, pajamas are more…you know. More comfortable." Dib supplied, edging around Zim as close to the wall as he could get. Seeing the alien without his contacts or wig was both interesting and unnerving, and Dib found his gaze fixed on Zim's antennae, watching as they twitched and lowered or rose up. "They must be for hearing…and maybe showing emotion?" Dib pondered as he opened the top drawer of his nightstand, pulling out a light blue shirt, a pair of soft black pants, and boxers with little flying saucers on them. Turning around and heading back towards the bathroom, he gestured for Zim to get out of the way.
"These are pajamas. See? Much softer and comfier than regular clothes." The change in light reflecting off Zim's deep red eyes in the dark gave Dib a clue that Zim was inspecting the clothing, and he continued on. "I suggest you get changed too while I'm in here changing." Dib said, and shut the door before the Irken could ask any more dumb questions. Putting his ear to the door curiously, Dib listened as he heard Zim's boots click away toward where his side of the room was. A bag zipper sounded, and then some rustling of clothing was heard. Deciding to ignore Zim for the time being, Dib slid off his trench coat and hung it on the side of the counter. The rest of his clothes followed and he slipped into his pajamas, smoothing out the material as he collected his day clothes off the cold tiled floor.
Putting his hand on the doorknob, Dib thought better of just opening it and instead called out "Zim? Are you done yet?"
A muffled "Yes." was his answer, and Dib turned the chipped metal knob and exited the bathroom. Flicking out the light, he began heading towards his bed when he caught sight of Zim. Holding in a laugh, he looked the alien up and down. He really didn't seem to get the whole "comfortable" thing. And also…
"Zim. Your shirt is clearly on backwards." Dib stated, looking at the green skin of Zim's chest through the hole cut through the "front" of the red shirt he wore.
"Hm? Oh. So it is. But, Zim knew this! It was…a test! Yes!" Zim lied, pulling his arms in and struggling to spin the shirt around, much like humans did.
"Also…why are you still wearing your boots and gloves? People don't wear shoes to sleep. That's retarded, Zim."
"Your head is retarded, Earth dirt." Zim instinctively retaliated, but sat on the edge of his bed and stripped his boots and gloves off anyway. Standing up and moving over to his nightstand, Zim stuffed his articles of clothing haphazardly into the drawer, punching them in when they refused to fit.
The clicking sound drew Dib's attention away from folding his clothes, and he glanced down at Zim's feet, only slightly surprised at finding two toes. What was surprising however was that they were hooked like claws, and made small scrapes in the wooden floorboards as Zim tried to beat his clothes into submission. Watching the Irken assault his clothing, Dib shook his head. The alien's fingers looked like his toes in that they appeared dangerously sharp, and Dib was glad the Irken had been wearing his gloves all those times they had traded blows. Connecting his laptop to the wall outlet to charge overnight, Dib noticed the Irken had won his battle and the drawer was mostly shut.
"Zim, I'm going to sleep now. Don't do anything weird to me while I sleep- I'll know it was you." Dib warned, peeling back the cool sheets and slipping under them.
"Fine. And don't you do anything to me while I'm in stasis- I'm setting my Pak to automatically impale you if you try." Zim hissed, also getting under his covers. "I hope you have nightmares."
"And I hope you get eaten by raccoons." Dib said back.
What an unconventional way of saying goodnight.
Ok, chapter 3 over. I'm going to start chapter 4 right now, and hopefully have it up by tomorrow. Reviews are appreciated and loved, and are a good source of motivation. And as a bonus, I get emails to my phone- so when you review, know that I'll probably have seen it within the following few minutes, and are probably smiling about it. :)
Also just to clarify, this will not be zadr. (sorry zadr fans. Maybe I'll do one in the future. Maybe. )