One single warning: this story is very bipolar.

I'm Gonna Build My Boy a Boyfriend

aka Captain America's history

by Howard Stark

Chapter 3

In which Tony actually has a pretty good idea

The times which Howard spent with Tony when he was a child had been few and far between, but they did happen, occasionally. Before everything got confusing for Howard, and he started envying his son's smartness and intelligence, and, well, pure genius, he liked to watch the kid from time to time, and even tell him stories.

One of the few that Tony could easily remember was about how Steve didn't know what fondue was. And how he confused fondue with something else, and that something else had eluded Tony for many, many years.

Now, Tony didn't get what the fondue was, and he had even less of an idea of who that Steve had been. When he had seen the fight between his parents, and heard the name Steve, he actually could put the dots together and understand that Steve was actually a good person, because his father liked to talk about him, and the stories where Steve appeared were always the ones Howard was happy to tell.

Therefore, Tony concluded that Steve had made his father happy, and then disappeared. After that, Tony had hated Steve for many years, but soon his father was sending him away, and he was barely seeing his father or mother at all, and he had found someone else to hate – and more destructive ways to express all that hatred than stomping his foot.

When he became the Ironman, when he had actually trusted and believed for the very first time that he was completely free of his father's image and legacy being projected on him, he felt free. He felt new. He was ready to take on the world, with Pepper by his side, inside his crazy suit.

And then Fury happened. Him, and the Tesseract, and the guy in the blue spandex uniform coming right out of 1942 to bring back all sorts of unhappy childhood memories, and all kinds of derogatory comments about him and his life style, and even had the gall to say his father would have disapproved of something or other that he had done.

It's got to be said, though, that the Captain never said those kinds of things to hurt him, or to make him feel bad – for Captain Steve Rogers, Howard Stark was the guy who helped turn him into more than a scrawny kid with a hero complex, a friend, the guy who trusted him enough – or was crazy enough – to believe he could save four hundred soldiers all by himself. The guy who had made his shield, and smirked when he and Peggy had been in the same room together, watching the tension with amusement. But for Tony, Howard was the man who couldn't stand him, who he thought actually despised his own son, just to find out later his father was kind of impressed with him, and believed in him, but was even more fucked up about emotions than he was, and so that had been crap about their relationship. Things were very difficult for Tony where Howard was involved – but they seemed to be the easiest ones for Steve. And so when the guy compared him to his father, it was as a compliment, but Tony failed to see it as that, and that might have been why, even after they had saved the world together, and moved into the Avengers Tower together, they had bickered a lot, and fought a lot, and just disagreed a lot in general.

But Tony had to admit, the guy did seem to brighten up the atmosphere when he was around. When he had found the good old Captain with his phone, three days ago, and that led to him explaining what slash meant, he thought the guy was going to spontaneously combust he blushed so much. He was very, very conscious, right at that second, that the Captain had never had sex. And as far as he knew, had never even kissed someone properly. That was just sad.

So he really didn't think much about the whole situation, except to laugh occasionally when he remembered the Captain's face listening to the meaning of words like 'smut' and 'threesome' and what, exactly, it meant when their names were written with slashes between them – as in Captain America/Ironman/The Hulk.

Even if Tony himself had to admit the idea of that story had been scary, because, come on, the Hulk was… well. Anyway. He didn't think about it anymore, though.

In retrospect he should have. He really, really should have.

Because Steve did.

X

Steve Rogers had gotten himself a tablet. One, because Fury had pretty much just held it out to him and said 'take it', and he didn't know how to refuse, and two because Clint was with him, and he had said those things were better to navigate the internet than his crappy phone.

And Steve had found out he quite liked the internet.

There were all kinds of art there, Clint had said, amateur and works of great artists, the classics, new ones, and the ones who had become legends during the time he was sleeping. He could look through them, and he could read the news, and talk to the other Avengers, even when they were away – not that they did that much, but still. Ti was dead useful, Hawkeye pointed out.

The one thing he did with his tablet once he was alone, though, was actually look though fanfiction archives. At first because he was incredibly intrigued by the things he had seen a few days ago, on his phone, but more importantly, he was intrigued to see why people thought he could be with Tony Stark. Or why they thought Tony Stark would ever be interested in him.

He wasn't used to the whole media thing nowadays – sure, he had been all over the screen back in the times of war, making movies, and posters, and shows, but people were a little bit more discrete about their interests back then. He supposed girls thought him attractive, but because he was a soldier, and honestly, he hadn't given any of them much thought, because back then only Peggy existed in his world. He had never had the time to stop and think about other people that way. It was always the war, and the soldier, and saving people, and destroying Hydra, and he had only ever gotten kissed twice, and one of them he didn't even enjoy it, because he sure as hell didn't like the girl that had kissed him, and the second was just rushed, and, after all, a bit overshadowed by the battle that followed.

And then he was in the ice, and when he woke up there were naked people everywhere, and some people still thought men shouldn't be with men, and women shouldn't be with women, but the society was beginning to learn, so mostly, it was okay. Clint had told him that only dicks and stupid people thought that was wrong anymore, and everything was confusing, because the world was going through a calm week, and he had had three days to just think about things, and he started thinking about Bucky a lot, and then Howard, and that's when he got the tablet, and there he was, in his bed at an ungodly hour of the night, browsing through some site, about to read why he loved Tony Stark in those people's minds.

And boy did they make sense.

He couldn't quite see himself as those girls and boys saw him – all muscle and rough voiced and tall and handsome; and he certainly didn't see Tony the way some of the writers did, as delicate or small or anything else to that effect, but some of the things they wrote about them made so much sense.

When he read one that was describing, in details, what sex with Tony was like, he actually closed the tab and turned off his tablet, turned off the light, and blushed in the darkness. Because that had gotten him more turned on then thinking about Peggy naked, and he truly didn't know what to think about himself anymore.

But one thing he decided right there and then: no more fanfiction for him. Ever.

The only trouble was, when he got to the kitchen the very next day, Tony Stark was there, grasping a huge mug of coffee, and Natasha was leaning on the counter, drinking some tea, and all he could think when he looked at Tony was, ohmygodhedoeslooknice.

So he tucked tail and ran, because he could face fights with guys four times his size when he couldn't beat up a small dog, but he had never, ever been good at dealing with his feelings.

Blushing and scared, he ran away.

x

Tony was actually worried about the Captain. He had been just fine up until he had gone to SHIELD with Clint, and now the super soldier didn't seem to be able to look at him without running away, and that was annoying as hell, because the man actually wasn't so bad, and he needed to talk to someone who wouldn't be mean and sarcastic to him every once in a while, and Pepper was not in any position to answer his calls, and Banner had gone to some damn third world country to get the rest of his stuff, after he finally decided to move in with them, and he wanted to talk to the Captain, only he couldn't because the man wouldn't look at him.

It was irritating.

So, yeah, he decided to trap the Captain in the kitchen with him when he heard the man walking there in the middle of the night. He went in, and when the super soldier was just about to tuck tail and run, he made Jarvis close the door, and not open it again.

Leaning on a counter, he turned to Captain America with his best grin.

"So, Cap, care to tell me why you are running away from me?"

The man blushed.

"I'm not running away from you."

"Really?" He asked, disbelief clear in his tone, "So why the hell you run away every time I come into the room? Did I offend you somehow, because I do that a lot, and it doesn't mean anything, I don't even think about half the things I say – actually, way more than a half, I hardly think about what I'm saying at all, that's why I'm always being sued, and Pepper is always so mad at me."

The Captain actually smiled at that, and Tony thought that was a little bit of a victory.

"It's not you, it's…"

"If you say it's me I'm going to think you're breaking up with me, and Captain, we are so not there yet. Pepper broke up with me not even a week ago, I don't think I can take it." He said with mock hurt, and a hand flying to his arc reactor.

Unexpectedly, Captain America blushed again, and looked down, and then went to the fridge, and then to a cupboard, apparently just to have something to do with his hands.

"Come on, Cap, give me something here, we're a team, Fury already thinks I'm the flaw in his perfect plan, don't give him more ammunition against me than he already has."

Steve took a deep breath and tried to look at Tony, but couldn't, so he settled for looking at Tony's feet.

"I read a few." He said, with a tone of voice of someone who was actually admitting to something very bad, and it confused the hell out of Tony.

"I'm gonna need a few more vowels here, Cap. What did you read that made you run from me? The news?"

"Fanfiction." The man finally said, risking a glance at Tony's face, before crossing his arms in front of his chest, and looking down again, "The slash ones, with you and me."

Tony was, for once, speechless. Holy cow he would never have thought the Captain had it in him.

Rogers, though, seemed to take his silence as disapproval instead of astonishment, and started apologizing.

"I really didn't mean to, I was just curious, and, honestly, half the things I read aren't even possible, I don't think, and… and… I just… I was curious, how could they think we would work out? Come on, we're not couple material, but then I read them, and some of them actually caught you spot on. I don't know about me, because they were way too focused on how the serum had affected my… things, but I read them, and I keep thinking about them, and now I'm really confused and embarrassed, and I am really sorry, it's just that looking at you reminds me of the stories, and I get all confused, all over again."

Tony was, again, speechless. The Captain had, in the middle of his apology, sat down in the kitchen chair, and now had his head in his hands, and was looking down. From what Tony could see of his face, he was red to the roots of his hair, and trembling.

The man could face all sorts of enemies, and fight any kind of battle, but was just that embarrassed because, apparently, he had a fanfiction-induced crush on Tony Stark.

Never let it be said Tony's life was unsurprising.

"Well, I don't think that is at all surprising, I am, after all, quite sexy and smart and charming." That actually got a strangled laugh out of Rogers, "You know, Captain, this means, well, it doesn't have to mean anything. Come on, have you never watched porn? It's the same thing! Only with someone you know, only that's not really me, because the ones who were writing it don't know me."

The Captain kept quiet, and Tony could see his face getting even redder. Oh, yeah.

"You actually have never watched porn, right? That's gotta be bad. I mean, if you're into that kind of thing. Your life is a bit messed up, isn't it?"

Steve raised his head, and stared at Tony incredulously.

"That's not how you comfort someone." His tone was disbelieving, and Tony actually laughed a bit.

"I know, I wasn't trying to comfort you, I'm no good at that. Why, do you need to be comforted? I can try, I usually buy something very expensive, what do you want?"

Steve was still looking at him as if he couldn't believe him.

"You know, some of those stories really did get you." He looked down, and his whole body seemed to be closing down on him, making him colder and older, a man closed out of his time, all alone.

It actually made Tony's heart ache just a little.

"I wonder if they got me right too." He said very quietly, and Tony stopped with the small smile that was still dancing on his lips.

"What did they say about you? Were they mean? Because if they were, they had no right to be, you're amazing, Cap."

Steve scoffed.

"I don't know about that. And they said a lot of things, some good, others not so much, but I don't… feel like any of them. They don't get me, I guess, mostly because I'm not… I'm not from here. It's so confusing, you have no idea. Waking up, not knowing where I am, and what I'm supposed to do, and even if you guys explain things to me time and time again, I'm still confused and lost sometimes. Sometimes I wake up in the morning forgetting about all of you, I'm thinking that I'll have a mission, that Bucky will be on the cot beside mine, that Peggy will be answering the phone when we establish communication, that Hydra is still out there." Rogers was looking through the windows now, and Tony could see he really, really needed to get this out, and suddenly felt very inadequate to be the person who was listening to Captain America have a nervous breakdown. He wasn't good at this, Cap deserved someone better to listen to this. "And then those few seconds go by, and I listen to Natasha cursing, or Clint laughing, or you arguing with some piece of machinery, and I feel lost. I want to belong somewhere. I spent most of my life just wishing I could make a difference, I could be the one person everyone could count on, because for so long nobody could depend on me, not even myself, and now that I actually am that guy, I wish… sometimes I just wish I had never gone to all those attempts to get into the army, because then I would have stayed where I belong, in the past."

Tony didn't know how to answer to that. And as always, his mouth was way faster than his brain, and let me tell you, that was a lot of fast going on.

"And you got to thinking about all of this because you read about us having sex?"

That startled a laugh out of the Captain, and Tony could see how very close they were, and how his eyes would sparkle in the artificial light.

"Not just that, but yeah."

"So, you're crushing on me." He said with a smirk, and the Captain blushed again, but held his ground.

"I'm not crushing on you. I was curious because the stories were well written." He got a pensive look on his face for a few seconds. "Well, some of them were."

Tony smiled, and it wasn't strained or fake or mocking, it was just a smile.

"You know, Cap, you do belong here."

"You really think so?" he asked, looking insecure and fragile and lost and hopeful as no man over 6 foot had any right to look.

So Tony took the plunge, like he had done with his new suit when Loki threw him out of Stark Tower, and like he had done in that cave. He just closed his metaphorical eyes, and took the metaphorical plunge.

"Yeah, I really think so." He said before he got just a tiny bit closer, closed his eyes, and covered the Captain's mouth with his own.

It was awkward. He was standing, and the Captain was sitting, so he pulled the man up, and that made it all the more strange, because now the Captain was taller than him, and he had never had to tilt his head up to kiss anyone, it was weird, but a good kind of weird, after he considered it for a few seconds.

Also, he noted, Rogers wasn't kissing him back yet, but he hadn't pushed Tony away.

Tony pulled himself out of the kiss, and looked at the Captain, and the man still had his eyes closed. Taking that as a sign that he wasn't going to be beaten up for his daring, he kissed him again, pushing him against the table, evening their heights, with the Captain's legs pulled apart, and Tony between them.

And this time, well, this time Captain America decided to do this duty, and kissed him back.

He tasted like tooth paste, as he hadn't had the time to actually consume anything in the kitchen before Tony had cornered him, and it was good, and refreshing, and strange, but the best kind of strange Tony had ever felt. Suddenly there were hands in his hair, and he dared run his own hands under the Captain's shirt, and got a strangled kind of surprised noise out of the man, and geez but this was fun.

So much fun.

After a few seconds, though, he felt the Captain pull away, and when he opened his eyes, he saw a sea of blue staring back at him.

But that didn't count as a bad sign, because, well, the man's hands were still on his shoulders, and he looked a bit confused, but not mad.

"I think I am crushing on you after all." He said, his voice hoarse, and Tony felt a shiver of anticipation run down his spine.

"I'm going to call you Steve from now on." he said, before kissing the man again.

Definitely the best thing his father had ever, ever done.

Okaaay, so this was it, just the Epilogue, and we are done.

It was supposed to be a oneshot, but oh well.

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