Alright, so here is a second chapter for this fic. I had thought about doing more for this story but my reviewers, both positive and negative, caused me to push through. I very much appreciated the constructive criticism and positive feedback. I always want to become a better writer. And I know it is a danger that comes with the territory, but if you only have negative, non-constructive things to say, then just don't read the fic. Although there is something to knowing that I can write something that will piss someone off that much. ^_^
When all is said and done, what Kurt did was wrong and Blaine, though having every right to be mad, blew things way out of proportion. (I had a longer rant, but I felt it was out of place. Its at the bottom if you want it.)
Here is part two. The thing is, even when you know you have done something wrong when you are in a fight, it is only human nature to believe you are at least somewhat justified. Since the story is from a single character's point of view, obviously it is going to be a little skewed in the representation.
And that is why we have friends to help us see the errors of our ways.
Disclaimer: I don't own glee.
Warning: Some stronger swearing.
"Fights would not last, if only one side was wrong."
~Fancois de la Rochefoucauld
Kurt continued to cry in the locker room, thinking over and over about where everything had gone wrong. He and Blaine had been doing so well, they had been happy. Then suddenly Blaine was pulling away. What had he done to make Blaine do that? Had he done anything at all? He must have for Blaine to suddenly change like that. But why didn't Blaine say anything? Didn't he say last night that Kurt should talk to him if he was unhappy? Was Blaine unhappy? Why didn't he say anything if he was?
These thoughts continued to pour through his head as he tried to wrap his mind around the whole thing. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like the problem had started weeks ago and built. Was it his fault at all? Was it even Blaine's?
How did he let it get this far?
Another sob escaped his lips before he heard the door to the locker room open. He bit down on his fist to keep from making a sound and alerting the individual of his presence. Last thing he needed right now was one of the baseball players finding him crying in the stall and giving him more hell than he was already in.
He heard someone walking around the lockers like they were looking for something. Kurt felt another sob building up in his chest when he found himself wishing it was Blaine looking for him, but he knew it wouldn't be. Not after what just happened.
He cringed as he heard the weak squeak that passed his lips reverberate off the tiled walls. "Kurt?" he heard someone call before the footsteps began to move toward him. He felt a hand gently squeeze his shoulder and opened his tear filled eyes to see Joe's characteristic stare, concern in his eyes. "Are you okay?"
Kurt opened his mouth to tell him no; that he wanted to be left alone, but the only sound that would come out was another sob before tears began cascading down his cheeks again. "I guess not," he said as he squatted down next to the countertenor. He stayed there a while, keeping a comforting hand on Kurt's shoulder until his sobs began to subside. "You wanna talk about it?"
"Why? So you can preach to me how what I'm doing is a sin?" cried Kurt angrily. "That's the last thing I need right now."
"I'll admit I struggled with that belief before coming to McKinley, but then you, Blaine, Santana and Britney showed me something that I guess I already knew. I've always been told that God is love, so where love is, God is as well. What you and Blaine have isn't a sin, because it isn't lust. It's love, so how could God not approve and support it. Not all Christians believe being gay is a sin, Kurt."
Kurt looked up at Joe for a moment, expecting to see anger radiating in his gaze, but all he saw was patience. Joe was really an interestingly strange guy. "I'm sorry, I guess…I should be one to remember not to believe stereotypes."
"Don't worry about it, we all do it once in a while."
"How did you find me?" asked Kurt, wiping away his tears and trying to change the subject.
"After what happened back there, Blaine ran out. Puck and Artie went to talk to him and the rest of us decided to split up and find you. Everyone went off in different directions once we found out your car was still here, but no one was coming here. So, I did."
"It's because they all know I wouldn't come here after what happened last year."
Joe chuckled a little. "Guess they were wrong," he said.
"Guess they were," said Kurt smiling sadly.
Joe pushed himself to the other side of the shower stall and sat facing Kurt, pulling his knees up slightly to rest his arms on them. "So I would like to try and help you out here, but I have to say I don't really know what all is going on. Wanna catch me up?
"I don't really want to talk about it. I'm still trying to figure it all out myself. And no offense Joe, but you don't really know me."
"Then maybe this is a good place to start," he said matter-of-factly. "Come on, talk me through this. Saying it out loud might help you figure stuff out. And since I don't really know you or Blaine, I can give you an objective opinion."
"I don't know…" said Kurt warily.
"What's the worst that can happen? It's just you and me in here, Kurt, and I promise this conversation will stay here."
Kurt hesitated for a moment weighing his options as a few tears continued to fallow the trails of their predecessors. "It stays here?"
"Swear to God."
Kurt almost scoffed at the expression, his tolerance all but shot for the day, but stopped himself realizing what those words meant to Joe. He looked the boy in the eyes, something Quinn said acted like a window to his true feelings, and found an intense comfort there. Nonetheless, he still wasn't sure he felt entirely sure he could confide in the strange boy. "It's simple really. Blaine's been pulling away lately. I started innocently texting this guy I met when I was at the music store, Blaine found out, he called me a cheater, we had a fight, he sang that song, I got mad and here we are." Kurt hadn't even been able to look at Joe when he was talking; he knew what happened between he and Blaine wasn't that…
"Kurt, you and I both know things like this are never that simple."
Kurt finally looked up again and felt more tears welling in his eyes. "No, you're right. It never is."
"So, let's try this again. Catch me up on what's going on," he said gently. "You can trust me."
Kurt sighed before beginning again; best to get this over with. "I've noticed Blaine's been getting more and more distant from me in the past month. I mean, he used to be so attentive and complemented me to remind me that he loves me. But lately, he's been canceling dates, saying he's too busy to do things after school, no coffee runs like we used to. We haven't even had an unscheduled make-out session in a month and even the scheduled ones haven't been what they usually are," he said, his voice becoming more and more upset as he went. He suddenly realized what he had just said and gave Joe a shocked look. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. You probably didn't want to hear that last part," he said frantically.
"Kurt, Kurt," said the dreadlocked teen, placing a comforting hand on Kurt's knee, "calm down. I'm not a homophobe, remember? So what you're saying is you're feeling a little neglected; kind of like you guys have hit a rut?"
"Yes and no. We aren't in a comfortable routine like you would expect in a rut; rather it feels like Blaine is pulling away from me. So, I decided to ask him to come with me to the music store to pick out some music for my NYADA audition, but he told me he was busy. So, I went by myself. I ran into this guy who was really excited that I was auditioning for NYADA and what I was thinking about doing. He made me feel, I don't know, like I wasn't on someone's back burner. So, when he asked for my number, I gave it to him. We started texting and he made me feel better. It started with general compliments, then we started exchanging corny pick up lines. I guess I didn't really think about where the texts were headed, only that they make me feel better. Then they started getting a little more personal. I guess I kept going because someone was giving me compliments when Blaine wasn't. Then Blaine found the texts in my phone and got really upset. He called me a cheater and I brought up that he did the same thing with Sebastian. I tried to make him realize why I had done what I'd done and he left. Then he sang that damn song and I yelled at him as you saw. So now, here I am, crying out my story to a guy I barely know in a locker room shower with who knows what in it."
"Wow, that's sounds really intense, but…but can I say something with the risk of making you mad?"
"Why not, at least you asked first, unlike Blaine," he said with a bit of venom.
"You can't make this a competition of he did, I did, Kurt. You can't use his actions to justify your own and then up the ante."
"That's not what I'm trying to do. What I was doing was innocent. I was mad because he called me a cheater after all the stuff that happened with Sebastian." Kurt could feel his defenses starting to come up, his heart starting to speed up.
"So you think that what you did was okay because Blaine had done something similar?"
Kurt was taken aback for a moment, staring at Joe dumbly. "No, but…"
"Were you going to tell Blaine about this yourself?"
"No, of course not," said Kurt incredulously, cocking an eyebrow.
"Then there was something wrong, Kurt," said Joe calmly.
"I'm not the only one who did something wrong," said Kurt more sad than angry.
"I'm not saying that you are, Kurt, but there is still something I don't understand. This Sebastian guy, he was texting Blaine?"
"Yes, he was."
"Inappropriate things?"
"I assume," said Kurt, trying not to cry as the word cheater rang through his head again. He didn't want to think of Blaine that way, even if Blaine thought of him that way. "The guy told me on several occasions he was going to take Blaine from me, called him sexy, things like that."
"Did you ask him to stop texting this guy?"
"Several times. He told me they were only friends and it was harmless."
"But it still made you mad, right? Felt a little betrayed?"
"Yes, I felt like he didn't really care how I felt." Kurt was beginning to feel berated despite the calm tone in Joe's voice.
"So you hated that feeling right?"
"Who wouldn't?"
"Then why would you subject Blaine to that when you know what it feels like?"
Kurt was silent, taken aback from the logic of it all. He did do that, didn't he, made Blaine feel like Kurt had during the Sebastian saga. "I'm not trying to takes sides, Kurt, but when people fight, they seem to only see their own side. That's why it's important to talk it out. You said what you did was no different than what he did with Sebastian. Do you feel your actions were justified because of what Blaine did?"
Kurt thought about it for a minute. "No," he said calmly, the tears all but dried out now. "The only reason Sebastian came up was because I felt Blaine was being hypocritical saying what I had done was cheating but what he did wasn't."
"That's fair to think, but the real question is do you feel what you did was okay because you think Blaine did it first?"
Just as he had convinced himself that he was out of tears, they began to form in his eyes again. How many times did he have to tell Joe that he didn't think what he did was ok, neither because of or in spite of what Blaine had done before. "No! I made a horrible mistake in a time of weakness."
Joe shifted again and Kurt was pulled back from his thoughts to look at the boy. "You have to forgive people for their mistakes, and that includes yourself. You and Blaine have both made them over the past couple days. Try and think through this. From what I hear, Blaine has kind of had a rough year. He transferred back to public school to be with the person he loved. When he got there, he got flack from his new glee club and heckled by the student body for being gay. Suddenly, the person he loves starts texting another guy and he's worried he might lose them, making all of the trials worthless. How would you feel?"
Kurt was beginning to wonder how Joe was able to say these things without sounding like he was judging anyone. He was also wondering how he knew all of these things when he "didn't know what was going on." Kurt was beginning to suspect Quinn had filled him in on a lot while he was helping her with physical therapy.
"I hadn't thought of that, but he still shouldn't have done what he did."
"No he shouldn't have. I know you're mad, but you do realize what you did was wrong too, don't you?"
"Of course I do! I didn't think it at the time, but I see it now. And I'm not mad at Blaine for being hurt, I'm mad that for some reason what I did is so wrong while he can text Sebastian and tell everyone that I am a cheater! I shouldn't have texted Chandler, I realize I convinced myself it was ok when it wasn't, but I thought Blaine and I could keep this argument between us until we figured it out. I'm mad because it wasn't as bad as he made it seem. Yes, I texted him for two days, but I never went back out to meet him and I never went on a date with him. I honestly never planned on even seeing him again. We texted pick up lines! It was stupid!"
Despite the fact that Kurt was becoming more and more upset, Joe continued to speak with a calm, quiet voice. "Do you still want to be with Blaine?"
"Of course I do! I love him more than life itself, but I messed up and he blew this whole thing up by adding in the glee club. I know how they work. By the end of the day, they'll have someone thinking I've been seeing Chandler for a year and am running away with him to New York to get married since I'm having a male pregnancy and he's the father. This is just getting out of control!"
"Kurt…"
"And I caused it!" he yelled, no longer paying attention to the other man in the room. "I felt neglected and found verbal comfort from someone else when I stopped getting it from Blaine. I don't even know why he's been pulling away. I thought he just needed some space for a little while. Gaga, why did I let this happen?"
"You're human, Kurt, you make mistakes. What you did wasn't good, and you need to take responsibility for the part you played, but so does he. You need to talk to Blaine. You both obviously have wronged each other somehow and you need to talk it out. This game of one upping each other in the argument has to stop before one of you does something you can't take back." Joe's voice was still kind, but there was a tone of finality underlying it.
"You're right. You are absolutely right. Thanks Joe. You're a really good guy."
"What are friends for," he said standing up and holding his hand out to Kurt. Kurt contemplated everything for a second before taking the offered hand, and Joe helped him to his feet. "Maybe you should sing to him. It has always seemed to work for you two before today."
"True," said Kurt, wiping the residual tears from his eyes and grabbing his bag. "I think I have just the one."
"I can't wait," smiled Joe as he held the door for the countertenor to exit.
So I hope you liked chapter two. Since chapter one was mostly about Kurt giving Blaine the verbal ass whooping that he deserved, I figured chapter two should him coming to terms with the part he played. Anyway, drop me a review and let me know how I'm doing. Feel free to follow me on Twitter too! Chapter three will come and that will be the final chapter.
Anyway, there was one thing that I realized reading all of the reviews, my point of view for this didn't really come out as clear as I would have liked. So here is where I want to set this straight. I'm gonna go on a small rant, so feel free to tune out if you wish.
I know and truly believe what Kurt did was wrong, there is no denying that. He should have talked to Blaine rather than do what he did. However, as much as it hurt Blaine, I don't feel he had the grounds to humiliate him by singing a song about someone sleeping behind their lover's back. Texting like this, though hurtful and an arguable form of cheating, is not sleeping with someone else. I really don't believe Kurt would have gone any farther than texting. Plus, Blaine did do the texting thing with Sebastian, two sides of the same coin, and if you believe the Craig's List meerkat is family friendly, then we were not watching the same show.
HOWEVER, does Blaine have the right to be pissed? HELL YES. What Kurt did was wrong and seemed to try and validate it, not ok, but Blaine is not a total victim either. As one of my reviewers said, which I totally agree with, there is hardly ever one single person who is a victim in a fight.
Ok, rant over.
