Title: Forgive Sounds Good, But I'm Not Sure I Could

Pairing: Nathan/Lucas with undertones of Nathan/Dan and Lucas/Dan

He doesn't know why he's sitting here; in his brother's living room. He should be avoiding airports after his recent kidnapping. But, he finds something pulling him to Los Angeles. He needs to have this conversation with his brother.

"So…" Lucas drawls, his hands clasped together tightly as he sits in the chair opposite Nathan. "What brings you here Nate?"

"Can't just stop by and see my brother?" A smile dances across his lips as he takes a sip of his coffee.

"It's good to have you back Nate," Lucas chuckles, reaching forward and placing a hand on his brother's knee.

Nathan simply nods. "How do you feel about Dan's death?" The question comes out sharp and he almost knows what Lucas is going to say.

The blonde shrugs as he takes a long and plentiful sip of coffee before placing the pristine white mug on a coaster. "I could honestly care less," he whispers harshly, the sting of bitterness tainting his every word. The answer came as no surprise to Nathan; he was expecting those words to escape Lucas's mouth.

"What about forgiveness Luke?"

"Forgiveness?" the blonde scoffs, a passionate fire burning in his icy blue eyes. "Nate he killed our uncle Keith! He deprived me of the only father I've ever known and he deprived my mother of the happiness that she waited so long for! As far as I'm concerned Dan Scott was dead long before the day his body stopped breathing."

"He paid his dues Luke," Nathan sighs, leaning forward in his seat. "He not only paid for his sins but he genuinely learned from them and for the first time in my life I truly believe that he regrets killing Keith more than anything. He wishes that he hadn't pulled that trigger… and we've made him pay for it for a long time; depriving him of his family. Can't you find it in your heart to forgive him? We all make mistakes…"

"I can't," Lucas shakes his head furiously, a small tear slipping from the corner of his eye. "I can't do it. I don't care if he's learned from his mistakes or not… I just can't forgive him for what he's done. That day can't be undone… the pain that I felt for a long time can't be erased… the massive hole in my heart that still exists can't be fixed. And because of that, I can't forgive him. I can forgive him for abandoning me but I can't forgive him for what he did to Keith; for what he put as all through. It's just too much to forgive."

"He saved my life Lucas."

"Yes, and I will eternally be grateful that he saved my little brother's life, taking a bullet in the process," Lucas smiled lightly. "But, that doesn't erase his past mistakes."

"What he did was wrong but he did it out of anger. He was jealous of Keith… he was jealous of the life that Keith had and he thought that getting rid of Keith was the only way to make his life better… but it just made it worse and the mess that he created took a long time to clean up and the hearts that he shattered took a long time to heal… they still haven't fully. The implications of his actions will always have a harsh impact on our lives. But, he did change. He became a better person. And I think that Keith would have forgiven him. And Keith would want you to go to his funeral…"

"No," Lucas shakes his head bitterly. "He doesn't deserve me to attend his funeral. As far as I am concerned, I'm not his son; I have no respects to pay to that man. Just because he changed, doesn't make it right. It doesn't erase the pain of that faithful, tragic day."

"He took a piece of Haley that day too. When he took Keith's life, he took a piece of Haley's life as well. And she's forgiven him…"

"I'm not Haley… There are things in this world that I can forgive. I forgave Brooke for sleeping with Chris Keller. I forgave Haley for marrying you even though I was extremely upset at the time. I even forgave Dan for abandoning me, because in the end I got the better end of the deal. But, the one thing that I can't forgive him for is killing Keith. It's just not possible, the pain is too deep."

Standing up and stretching his legs, Nathan nods slowly. "I understand, but I want you to look deep inside your heart and find the strength to attend Dan's funeral. He kept a picture of Sawyer and he desperately wanted to be in her life. You don't have to forgive him but you should be there… It's what Keith would have wanted."

Shooting Lucas a weak smile, Nathan disappears out the door and Lucas can feel the tears slip from his eyes. He wasn't ready to forgive Dan… whether he was a changed man or not. Maybe someday he would. But right now, the enlarged hole in his heart was a product of Dan Scott's doing. And attending his funeral wasn't going to erase that hole… it was just going to make it worse.

AN: These last few weeks have been super crazy so I'm sorry for not updating sooner but I have two updates to hopefully make up for the inconvenience. After the last episode, when Lucas refused to come see Dan, I decided to see how Lucas might be feeling about Dan's death. I can't believe he's actually dead! I thought the man was invincible… anyways please read and review, let me know what you think.