Disclaimer: I own neither Tin Man nor the book/movie whose title I improved upon (at least in my own little world). ;p Don't own the movie 'Willow' either...I do hope y'all have watched it because a) it's a classic, and b) um, you're not gonna get the joke, or at least not fully.
Author's Note: Point I forgot to mention in my last AN (mostly because it was ridiculously long as is): there is only going to be one chapter per narrator...what? You thought I'd be dumb enough to start this without putting a chapter cap on the story? I learned my lesson from 'Otherside Encounter' and 'The Courting of Officer Gulch', I half-ass plan these things now. The one trouble with writing this story is that I now have to go put in the effort to figure out names for all the guards after having so cleverly avoided it for so long. This particular character was going to be named after an Allen wrench (I have my reasons), only I made a little typo while playing with the spelling and discovered something way better – some characters are subtle about telling me their names...others, of course, are screaming them in my ear (and then there are the ones certain reviewers have had the temerity to name in hopes that it will cause my muse to permanently adopt them, knowing the power named characters have over me and all – no Bookworm Gal, he's not showing up in this one, he's past the timeline I'm sticking to).
PS If every chapter is has hard to write as these first two have been (this one only took two partial rewrites), it's going to require a little patience on the part of my wonderful readers. Sorry, I'm trying to kick the brain-brain in gear, but it's got a lot on its plate at present.
PPS Have fun trying to guess which guard is which - though I am fairly obvious in this one.
...
Ayan Toksmith sat quietly in the designated waiting room and willed himself not to sneeze. He was not a member of the newly formed protection detail for Princess Azkadellia yet, and the last thing he needed was to go into a fit of nervous sneezing and give off the impression that he was sickly. His nose itched fiercely. At least there was one streak of light in the moritanium mines, he thought desperately, trying to distract himself, there were obviously still positions yet to be filled. Munchkin comfort, though, he realized as he stared dubiously across the room to where the last applicant stood staunching his copious nose bleed, especially given that it had been his interviewer who'd given it to him.
"I don't know what came over me," the Othersider was saying apologetically to everyone in the vicinity, as a Viewer – a Hero of the Eclipse no less – took a look at his hand, "I don't usually...that is...it's just that when he said he used to be one of DG's bodyguards I got this inexplicably irresistible urge to hit him." The man seemed honestly distressed by his behaviour.
The Viewer known as Raw merely smiled, patted the future guard commander on the shoulder and murmured, "Gulch entitled."
The would-be guard seemed to think otherwise, but Ayan had to admit that, since the last time the fellow would have been on guard duty for the youngest princess would have been back when there'd been a security breach so massive that it had almost destroyed the O.Z. in the aftermath, the sentiment was not entirely unreasonable. That did not stop him, however, from having to suppress a nervous giggle when the strange newcomer to this Realm turned to him and, with a sheepish expression, said, "Next."
Stifling his nerves and fighting off another sneeze, the guard candidate rose to his feet and hoped that the man wouldn't hit every applicant that didn't meet his approval.
"Ayan Toksmith," the Othersider read from the application form as he lead the way into his temporary office, "aged twenty-eight, 6'2", hair like the sunset over a wheat field – what the hell? – gray-green eyes like...you know, I don't even know what that is...strong jaw and dimples in both cheeks when he smiles. Right," he added drily, "because that is absolutely vital information, I totally needed to be made aware of that. Oh, and you got three little red hearts, too. You know, I think I just might have to ask for a new secretary, or whatever they call the job around here, I need someone who fills out the paperwork, not turns them into romance novels. And he seemed like such a level headed young man, too," he added absently, slipping into the chair behind the heavy antique writing desk and indicating for disconcerted Ayan to take a seat in the opposing chair.
"So," the guard commander continued as he began scribbling notes across the page, "why don't we start with you telling me what kind of experience you have and we'll go from there?"
The young hopeful tried not to wince at the question; it was entirely expected, it was just that his experience wasn't exactly going to impress anyone. Then again, that they'd even considered his application in the first place – for a member of the Royal Family no less – was a measure of how desperate they were to find capable guards. And Ayan wouldn't have applied in the first place if he hadn't thought he could get the job done. Ignoring his itching nose, he squared his shoulders and prepared to say just that...
"Her Royal Highness, the Crown Princess DG," a stentorian voice interrupted as three heavily armed individuals invaded the room, "wishes a word with her loyal minion, the Officer Gulch of Kansas."
The Othersider blinked, Ayan turned to watch as the three epitomes of a guardsman moved with military precision, fanning out to cover all corners of the room and the occupants within, their eyes shifting constantly, tracking for threats. The young hopeful felt a moments doubt regarding his qualifications.
Officer Gulch craned around in his chair and hooked a thumb through the back of his belt as if looking for something.
"What are you doing?" giggled another voice as, to Ayan's utter awe and delight, the blue eyed youngest princess and most beloved Hero of the Eclipse danced her way into the room.
"Looking for a brand," the Othersider replied humorously, "I don't remember signing up to be your minion, but I did get drunk a few nights before you abducted me so you never know..."
"We could always count the sc-"
"DG," Gulch cut her off abruptly, "never you mind, and more importantly, what are you doing here? I'm kind of in the middle of something," he said, gesturing at the awed applicant, "I was, after all, under the impression that this was the whole point of, er, extending my kidnapping."
"Yeah, sorry about that," the princess replied sheepishly as all the guards glared at the commoner that dared address royalty without a title, "I tried to get them to wait until you were done but I have a favour to ask that is kind of time sensitive and, well, when Cain tells these fellows to escort me from point A to point B, they do it, and there's no pausing or stopping along the way for anything." She seemed to be just a touch annoyed.
"Ah," the Othersider remarked dryly, "yes, well that I can believe. In that case, since you've already interrupted anyhow, why don't you tell me what it is you want?"
The Crown Princess, oddly enough, became suddenly hesitant. "Weeeell," she began slowly, "the thing is, Cain and I have to go on a quick little diplomatic mission and I was wondering..."
"Uh huh," Officer Gulch grunted sceptically as he leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms and observed the princess with a lifted brow.
"...ifwecouldborrowthecruiser," she finished in a rush.
Both of the Othersider's brows shot up. "Yes, well, that is a request that requires three bodyguards to make," he replied blandly, "not a chance."
The princess' guard scowled, she waved a careless hand at them and, widening her eyes earnestly, asked, "What if I said please?"
"Then I'd say, if it weren't for the knowledge that your protection detail was selected by your trigger happy Tin Man and are therefore assumed devoid of the slightest sense of humour, over my dead body," true to his word, some of the guards seemed to contemplate it, "so I'll just stick with no."
"Pretty please?"
"Still no."
Princess DG eyed him speculatively. "I could make it a Royal Decree," she ventured.
"I'd ignore it," Officer Gulch replied lightly.
"That'd be treason," the princess fired back in amusement.
The Othersider snorted, "I can't commit treason, I'm not a citizen of the O.Z., best you could hope for is espionage. Besides," he continued as he resumed his scribbling on Ayan's application form – mostly it looked like he was correcting the romantic wording, much to the young Toksmith's relief, "I'm hoping to keep the cruiser running for as long as possible, which won't be helped by turning it over to the likes of you or your Tin Man."
The Crown Princess' eyes sparkled at this. "As long as possible, huh?" she mused, "How about if I promise not to let Cain drive it?"
"It only reduces the strength of my 'NO' by the barest smidgeon. Why don't you take a horse? You used to love stealing Spencer's."
"Can't," the princess huffed, "I have to arrive with a certain amount of pomp and circumstances, which either means one of the royal conveyances, such as a carriage or our oh so unique Otherside cruiser..."
"Excepting that the cruiser happens to be owned by me and not the Royal Family. Well," he added scrupulously, "it's mine more than it is anyone else's seeing as I have no way of actually returning it to the police department. I'm afraid you'll have to make do with one of the carriages."
"The carriages are hot and stuffy and have no shocks," Princess DG commented with distaste.
"I feel for you," Gulch replied serenely.
"Is there any chance you'll change your mind?" the princess pleaded earnestly, her eyes so wide and sincere, it seemed impossible for anyone to say...
"Nope," the Othersider declared urbanely, apparently unconcerned as every other man in the room glared at him.
"Fine," Princess DG uttered in a woeful tone that the callous Gulch somehow seemed to find amusing, "fine, I'll just arrive at our talks with the Eastern Guild with heat stroke and an adult case of shaken baby syndrome."
Officer Gulch paused. "The Eastern Guild?" he repeated, "As in that forest where everyone was shooting at us when I arrived?"
"Yeah," she confirmed, "but I think we've pretty much cleared the Longcoats out of the area."
"You think," the Othersider returned flatly, opening a drawer with a snap, "Here, take it," he growled, holding out a set of shiny keys, "mind you," he added, pulling the keys back from the princess' outstretched hand, "don't let the Tin Man drive it. No, take it," he reiterated gruffly as the princess inexplicably hesitated, "there's a possibility that Cain's bulletproof, but you aren't."
"Aw," the princess grinned, taking the keys, "you wuv me."
Every man in the room abruptly shifted as far as they could get from the Othersider, the guards suddenly scanning for a threat much more worrisome than any those currently occupying the room might present. Ayan may not have spent much time near the palaces of the Royal Family, but there probably wasn't a soul in the O.Z. that didn't know the kind of reaction Wyatt Cain had to anyone that had, in his opinion, inappropriate interest in the Crown Princess. He may not be in the room, he could be halfway across the O.Z. for all anyone knew, but that didn't mean they all weren't in mortal peril. His nose itched furiously.
"Oh yes," Officer Gulch muttered dryly, rolling his eyes in utter unconcern, "you are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky..."
"You dwell in darkness without me," the Crown Princess chirped in cheerful recognition of the strange rote, her eyes sparkling in amused delight.
"And it went away," the Othersider stated with relish, "or at least I wish it would," he added astringently, glaring at the youngest princess, "Off with you, Im-...er," he faltered, glancing at the looming bodyguards, "Imperial Person, I have matters of your sister's safety to arrange. Get you gone, have a safe trip and try not to wreck my cruiser again."
An indelicate snort greeted this pronouncement. "It'll be hard not to have a safe trip," the most beloved Hero of the Eclipse scoffed, waving a hand at her entourage, "Cain makes me take three bodyguards just to travel halfway across the palace without him; he'll probably have half the Royal Army follow us to the Eastern Village."
"Considering this is you we're talking about," Gulch interjected mildly, "I don't know whether to call that paranoia or good planning."
"Good planning," Ayan asserted, then flushed as he abruptly found himself the object of the princess' annoyed and the guard commander's quizzical scrutiny. Fighting off the impending sneeze, he explained himself simply, "It's only paranoia if nothing ever happens to the princess, either of them," he added after the briefest hesitation. The two Otherside raised beings were now staring him with such identical expressions of contemplation that they almost looked related. Ayan willed himself desperately not to fidget.
"Hmm," Officer Gulch hummed speculatively, "Not in Kansas anymore," he added somewhat obscurely then he turned the princess with a dismissive wave and said, "Shoo, got things to do here. You go off and do your diplomatic shilly-shallying and I'll make sure your sister is still here when you get back...Gah!" he exclaimed as the youngest princess leapt around the desk to give him one of her famous hugs – currently considered an occupational hazard for those working anywhere near the Tin Man. "Off you," the Othersider grouched, apparently aware of this fact, "I'd kind of like to be here when you get back, too."
The Crown Princess merely smiled winningly, thereby reminding those present why she was the most beloved Royal in the lands, and murmured, "Thanks Gulch," before releasing him.
"Yeah, well," the Othersider grumbled, "at least your big sis seems less inclined towards getting me into trouble – been here a whole week and a half without anyone dropping me off a building, I'm taking that as a good omen. Let your gun toting Tin Man take care of the crazy princess for a while, I'm on vacation over here...why are you grinning at me like that?" Gulch demanded with sudden alarm, "DG?"
But the youngest princess merely giggled and traipsed out of the room, taking her scowling bodyguards with her.
"She is so going to get me shot again," Officer Gulch sighed in resignation to no one in particular. Odd then, the O.Z. native thought, that the Othersider should have the oddest little smile hovering about his lips. Then, with a quick shake of his head, the guard commander seemed to refocus on his task. "Right," he snapped briskly, picking up a stack of papers and straightening them sharply, "where were we?"
Ayan contemplated for a moment. "We'd almost begun," he decided, "Um...that was the Crown Princess."
"So I've been made to understand," Gulch agreed, shuffling some more papers to the side.
"You, ah, threw her out of the room," his nose twitched at the thought.
"The hard part is making her stay out, least if she doesn't want to."
"And you didn't use her title."
"I've known her since she was a scrubby brat of five," the Othersider replied dryly, "I start calling her 'Your Highness' and she'd get to thinking she owns the place."
"She's the Crown Princess, she does own the place," Ayan pointed out, "or at least," he amended, "she will own the place."
"I weep for the country. Tell me, Ayan," the guard commander inquired mildly, "are these questions of any particular importance?"
Rebuked, the young O.Z. native was about to apologize when he realized there was another answer to that question. "Only if the Tin Man takes issue and it causes problems between the protections details," he replied.
The Othersider paused in his paper shuffling and looked at the hopeful guard with that contemplative gaze again; it was somewhat akin to interest. "Fair enough," he acknowledge, "now, why do you want to be a part of Princess Azkadellia's protection detail?"
Ayan lifted his eyes to meet those of the commander; this was the most important question, the one everyone had known would be asked, but under that intent gaze he found himself pausing to collect his thoughts. "My parents were well known among toksmiths," he spoke slowly, choosing his words with care, "they were good at what they did, but as much as I shared their love of gadgets, my hands were always too big and clumsy to deal with the little parts. So I guarded the shop. When I was old enough I was going to try for the Central City Guard, but then the Sorceress took over and replaced them with her Longcoats, all that was left was the shops, so I kept guarding them. It's not that I particularly want to be a part of Princess Azkadellia's protection detail, hers is just the only one that would have a mere shop guard for all that guards are scarce these days. And I'll tell you this," he stated with simple obstinate pride, "they may have been mere shops but there was not one break in or theft that we ever discovered took place on my watch. I can't...I can't fix things," he muttered, "I can't fix what happened to the Realm, but I can keep those that are able safe until they get the job done."
Officer Gulch set the paper down and sat back slowly in his chair, keeping his eyes locked in a steady regard. Ayan jutted his jaw out stubbornly...well he hoped it appeared stubborn, mostly his nose was itching and he was trying not to spoil the gravity of his answer by blowing the papers across the room.
"Hmm," the commander hummed meditatively, "And Princess Azkadellia?"
"Scares me silly," the O.Z. native declared honestly, his nose itching more furiously still, "but that doesn't mean I wouldn't protect to the princess to the fullest extent of my abilities."
There was definite interest in the Othersider's eyes now, and even, Ayan hoped, a spark of approval. "On that note then," Officer Gulch drawled, the oddest little smirk quivering at the corner of his mouth, "imagine you are dr...er, riding down a fairly untraveled road and happen to spy a small girl in a red dress trying to ride an ornery old bull well known for trying to gore anything on two legs, most especially you, what do you do?"
Ayan Toksmith stared at the man in utter bemusement. It was obviously one of those trick personality testing questions, but girl in a bull pen? What the hell kind of scenario was that? Ayan couldn't help it anymore.
He sneezed.