Chapter VI: Quiet Whispers of the Heart

Night; it was the most favored time for the zanpakutou being who once again stood near the window, sleep did not hold much meaning to him anymore. Occasionally he would take a nap on the couch or on the floor, much to Orihime's displeasure, but it wouldn't be for more than three hours and that was it. Insomnia was no stranger to him for it was an enemy and a friend. A strange way to put it, but it both eased and troubled him. Fatigue hardly bothered him now and he supposed Orihime's healing ability was the cause of it. A smile appeared upon his face, his turquoise eyes looking at the doll with such warmth, but if one could take a closer look they would see that such an expression had the faintest hint of sorrow.

Muramasa would have never acted in such a way back then, but now he had to reshape his understanding of this new world and he could say with a bit of pride, that he was getting the hang of how things were arranged as well as the roles that everyone played. He knew well of what went where, who did this and that; all the basic stuff that was crucial for some things. Now, after reading those horribly boring textbooks he could help Orihime with her work which served to save her and her friend's precious time for other fun activities; it was quite a pleasure to do so with that grateful smile of hers but his worn and tired heart could only take so much, his mind did not have any control over the traitorous heart.

He shifted a bit, moving from standing near the window to sit on the couch and placing the doll beside him. Orihime had told him just a couple of hours earlier that tomorrow was the start of the weekend and the following week was a small break from school, meaning he wouldn't have to deal with too much of his doubting mind and spend more time with Orihime.

The night may have been beautiful, but it was also incredibly lonely. His emotions would sometimes become too complicating to figure out that it would tire him out mentally. He closed his eyes slowly, placed his elbows on his knees and leaned his forehead against his hands. Sleep would've been wonderful right now if it would ease his inner burden and he would've done just that, or at least attempt to, had it not been for a faint sound caught near the hall. He turned his head slightly and was mildly surprised to see Orihime standing there in her pajamas with eyes still heavy with sleep.

"You're still up?" She mumbled, trying in vain to rub away the sleep from her eyes.

Muramasa turned away from her, at least now there was a distraction. "It seems so."

She went to sit beside him, grabbing the little doll and smiling at it, feeling some of the sleep fade. "Are you adjusting well here?" She asked in hopes of starting a conversation while playing with the strands of the doll's hair, forgetting entirely that it was a miniature version of him.

He thought for a moment, turning his gaze away from her to keep his thoughts in order. "Yes, although…" He trailed off to think about how he could progress and actually go somewhere with his feelings without having to face the full force of the pain that she was unknowingly causing him.

She looked at him now, curious to know what it was that continued to trouble him. From the corner of his eye he saw her subtle movement of curiosity and decided that with her fixed gaze upon him, it made it that much more harder to be honest with her and so, opted for a more easier approach as to how he could deal with such troubling emotions and maybe morph them into something a little smaller than that of love.

"I've met someone interesting some time ago." Automatically Orihime jumped in sudden excitement.

"Is this person a girl?" For a moment he almost lost his thought.

"Yes, but I've only known her for a short time and I do not think she shares these feelings that I have for her." He felt like a fool again, using this sad overused excuse to try and make things easier, but in all honesty he didn't want to have these feelings, at least not so deep, for anyone. Besides his options were limited and this was all he could come up with at the moment without giving the truth away.

Orihime's face immediately fell at his words, replaced with a sad face. "Is that so…" She mumbled making Muramasa feel terrible on the inside but still held onto his mask of indifference.

"That's hard." She sighed and leaned back against the couch. She knew what it felt like to love someone and she also knew that it hurt so much to think that they didn't feel the same. Although there were hints that the one she secretly admired may feel differently and she has noticed them as well, but she couldn't help but hope that somehow that someone would know her feelings and respond, but at the same time it would hurt, hurt so bad to find out that they loved someone else; someone that wasn't her. Orihime didn't want anyone else to feel that way, not if she could at least try to help.

"Maybe you should give that person a try, Muramasa-san." She smiled and leaned a little closer. He looked at her with a sour look; perhaps he had made a mistake. "You should give her a chance, who knows, she may even start to like you!" She beamed at the thought that her friend may have someone just as important as anyone else.

"I highly doubt that would ever happen." He suddenly had a sinking feeling of dread.

"How do you know? How long have you known her?" Now he regretted this idea greatly and wished that he had never brought it up in the first place. He found that he did not want to talk this anymore; unfortunately there seemed no way to turn back or to switch the conversation.

"I haven't known her long, about the time I came here, on that first walk around town."

"You should try to get to know her more and maybe she'll share those feelings with you." His face turned cold at her words and inside he was feeling such pain that he longed to be by himself sitting on the pillars of his inner world just to escape this mistake.

"I do not want these feelings, Inoue." He replied bluntly; hopefully this would bring things back in order and clear everything up without him having to complicate things further and fix the problem immediately. He refused to meet her eyes, afraid that if he were to see her expression it would make him reveal what he hoped never to expose to anyone; shinigami, zanpakutou, hollow or human, no one would know these feelings and hopefully never in his life.

"Why would you say that?" She whispered almost to the point where her voice was inaudible.

"Because, I know full well that she will not return these feelings of mine, in truth I did not want to have these emotions in the beginning. They just developed without me noticing in time to stop it." His eyes closed as he let out a breath to finally speak out his final point.

"I know this with certainty because she loves another." He whispered quietly hoping deeply that there would be no helping his situation. "Tell me…" The room remained silent for a long minute before he spoke once more.

"How do you stop yourself from loving someone that has not known you for a long time? How can you minimize that love into nothing but friendship?" He asked finally; yearning to know what can be done to lessen his new pain, a pain that was strong enough to suppress the pain of being hollow, or worse add to it. He wanted to be nothing but a sword again, then he wouldn't have to feel such hate for his master or his ability, just a dull object, however, even as his mind wanted that his heart wanted to love and be loved in return. Solitude was really a horrible thing.

Orihime stared at him, her eyes watering lightly, but she fought to keep the tears and the lump in her throat in check. His pain and his troubled mind was similar to her own that she realized that she didn't know how to answer him. What could she say? Don't worry, it'll be alright? You'll figure it out? She couldn't give an answer that she herself hasn't even found if there was then her heavy heart wouldn't feel so empty. She swallowed to keep her voice leveled and to remain just as she was when she first entered the room.

She grabbed the doll again and stared at it for some time that he would have thought she left, but her presence never seemed to leave him even when she was in school and he was here, alone. She smiled again as she realized that they weren't so different; right now he was practically human after saying what he felt even though in truth it was not everything.

"It's okay Muramasa-san…" Her breathing got a little difficult as her throat felt constricted and her eyes went hazy. The doll was placed next to her as she scooted closer to him. "I know what that feels like…" Her voice broke making Muramasa look at her with startled eyes.

"I know full well how that feels…to know that the one you love may not love you back and to be by yourself. I've been there and I still am." She laughed a little at herself and sniffled. Muramasa was too stunned to speak or even move; he messed up again, but before he could think to do anything, he felt her arms wrap around him in an embrace. Her face was buried against the fur of his collar as she tightened her grasp and silently tried to calm herself.

Great, just great; he was the one to be that way but instead she was the one crying for the both of them and he truly felt like the biggest fool in all worlds. This was supposed to have helped the problem not further it. What a fine mess.

"I'm sorry." He whispered wrapping his own around her in an attempt to stop her crying, anything as long as she stopped and became her regular self again. She sniffled, pulling back slightly with a questioning look.

"I made you cry, I didn't mean for that, I was just…" He was stopped when she moved to lay her head against the front of his collar.

"It's okay. I actually feel better. I'm sorry but can we just stay like this for a while?" She asked quietly. After knowing that he was in the same boat she was in, she just had to have someone near that knew her pain, this way some sort of comfort would ease their troubled hearts.

As you wish…

He dared not answer; instead he just tightened his hold around her and allowed his tired heart to feel some warmth even if it was misplaced. He still felt horrible, but if he could ease her pain a little then that would shine some light to his soul. He felt her breathing slow and in no time she had fallen asleep in his arms. Looking down at her, Muramasa couldn't help but to smile at how at ease she looked now despite the tear stains running down her cheeks. He didn't realize that his head had moved of its own accord to plant a soft kiss to her forehead until he actually felt the contact. He was purely driven by instinct to get closer and even though his heart and mind were in constant conflict he would allow his mind to fall into the depths of nothingness and comfort in the form of sleep. For now, this was as close as he could get to allow his emotions to take hold and simply enjoy her presence here beside him. Tomorrow, maybe things would get better and maybe he would be able to find a way to convey his feelings, accepted or declined, nothing would change unless he did something.

Even if you were to reject me as well at the very least it will be honest, but I do not think I would be able to hold anything against you. If this is how love works, then it is something quite admirable.

-X-X-X-

A/N: Ok I have no clue how this chapter turned out to be this way. 0.0 I don't know it seems too dramatic to me, but seriously I don't know how it turned out that way and towards the end I was running on steam so yeah it's kind of corny or something, please, tell me what you thought of it so that I know if I messed up or not…please?