"Can you believe it's already been fifteen months?" I felt around for the boulder I'd smelled earlier, resting on it for a bit. I only knew how long it had been since I'd first entered Konoha because I'd overheard a pair of Hyuga's— they'd sounded like the elders— discussing it as they'd passed my bedroom door one evening. It kind of stung that I was still suspicious in the eyes of some people, but I did my best to show them I meant no harm.
This train of thought led me to another conversation I'd accidentally overheard a few months ago: this one had been between the leader of the Hyuga clan, Hiashi Hyuga, and Neji himself. I'd done everything in my power to keep myself from eavesdropping on the bulk of the meeting, but I'd still managed to snag two significant pieces of information. One: Hiashi knew about Neji's promise to me. Two: he wasn't sure if Neji would be able to kill me after all.
The latter discovery terrified me; why wouldn't Neji be able to kill me, if it had to come to that? A promise was a promise, and Neji wasn't one to suddenly break it— that just wasn't him.
What was him, however, was a different story: he'd improved so much over the course of our frequent training sessions— I couldn't be more proud— and he'd begun opening up to me in ways I'd have never believed possible. Lack of social interaction didn't matter— his actions, his eagerness to learn, were enough. He didn't seem bothered by me anymore, which made me feel a lot better when training with him, and the fact that he was so patient with my somewhat childish nature was an added bonus.
As corny as it sounded, I couldn't imagine life without him. His presence was as familiar as my own; when he had to take outside missions, I was left within the confines of my little guest room until he returned. It frustrated me how much I missed him during those times. He was like a brother to me now. . . a dear friend.
This made me all the more wary of remembering my past; I didn't want this. . . acquaintanceship to end. I had to be careful of my thoughts about what I had with Neji— he had rules to follow, I and was sure "Make friends" wasn't one of them.
But. . . did he feel the same way about me? Did I mean something to him? I sincerely hoped not. Having to kill someone he'd grown to care about was definitely not right. Not fair.
I didn't want him to worry about my memories rushing back to me— I was plenty anxious for the both of us. However, as the buh-dummm made its way toward the boulder, I sensed a deep tension in his blood. Was he thinking about his mission as well?
"Your heart's racing," I observed. "Are you all right?"
He didn't answer. He seemed to be struggling to find a way to tell me, but nothing was coming out.
Not ashamed of voicing my concerns, as much as they sometimes hurt, I plowed on. "It's going to happen soon enough. I just wish you wouldn't worry so much about it."
". . ."
Crap.
So he was worried.
Attempting to distract the both of us, I racked my frantic brain for the most ridiculous thing I could think of. "Have you ever smelled a ladybug?" Are you kidding me?!
Neji, however, had taken the bait. "Excuse me?"
Thoroughly relieved, I hopped onto the ground and threaded my fingers through the long grass, searching for the bug that would save us both. Catching the moist scent of the critter, I immediately cupped my palm around it, letting it crawl onto my fingertip.
"These creatures are great when it comes to sensing danger." A few weeks ago, a young man by the name of Shino Aburame had taken a great liking to me when I'd expressed an interest in bugs, and he'd promptly taught me the basics of the world of insects. Needless to say, I'd learned a lot. "They excrete chemicals from their legs when they feel threatened, which produce a very strong odor." I pushed my finger toward where I knew Neji's face was, encouraging him to take a whiff.
"Keiden, I'm not going to smell a ladybug," he stated. "We can train my nose some other way."
I exhaled playfully, a bit surprised at how quickly he'd turned down an opportunity to train. "You're missing out. . ." I teased. Fine. I'll smell it for the both of us. Inhaling deeply, I was shocked by the amount of fluid that had instantaneously made its way onto my fingertip. I could feel my eyes watering, and I desperately tried erasing the scent of chemically-enhanced grass, nuts, and mold from my mind.
"That was. . . potent. . ." I stuck out my tongue.
This comment was answered by the most glorious sound I'd ever laid ears on— my heart nearly stopped as I slowly comprehended what it was.
Neji. He was laughing.
Never, never had I heard this before; it was as if the world had stopped spinning while the now-nineteen-year-old before me continued to laugh. I was beyond shocked— how could such a common noise be so breathtakingly beautiful?
"Forgive me," he said when he'd calmed himself down.
For once, I was at a complete loss for words.
"The look on your face was unbearably funny," Neji continued, his tone a little anxious now. I realized he was expecting an answer, but what was I supposed to say after something like that?
"You laughed," I breathed. Well done, genius.
"Don't move," he whispered.
I became as stiff as the boulder beneath me.
"The ladybug. It's in your hair," he explained.
Smiling at this gentlemanly observation, I lifted my hand. "It's all right. I'll get it—" I hadn't realized Neji had been reaching for my head, too, until I'd bumped my fingers against his and pushed his palm onto my cheek.
We both turned into identical ice sculptures, too shocked at what had just happened to move.
What're you doing, you idiot? Kick him! Punch him! Get him away from you! You shouldn't be doing this— don't let him touch you!
But. . . but his hand felt so good on my cheek. . .
You know this isn't right! You're only making things difficult for him!
His other hand found my face, and all I had the sense to do was gasp. That hadn't been a very good idea— I'd tasted a tiny trace of his breath after pulling that little stunt.
Petrified, I closed my eyes, aware of my heart beating so treacherously against my ribs.
Something warm and deliciously soft brushed my lips.
No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no—
NO!
Neji pulled away, his buh-dummm faltering, terrified.
What've I done? What've I done? Crap, what've I done?!
Why wasn't I screaming in fury? Why hadn't I punched Neji yet? Why hadn't I punched myself yet? I'd just made life ten times harder for him, and yet, I was sitting here like an imbecile.
"I'm so sorry," he breathed. He let me go.
Livid with myself, I concentrated on the one sound that always brought me comfort, trying to pull myself together— but something was different here. Focusing on the buh-dummm once more, I thought I heard it echo. That's stupid. Heartbeats don't echo. . .
Wait a minute. That was my heart.
Despite everything, a smile tugged at my lips. "You heard it." This was only a presumption, of course, but voicing my thoughts wasn't anything new.
Neji's heartbeat shifted further away from me. "I don't know what you're talking about."
I felt for his hand— now a bit desperate to figure out whether or not this was for real— and placed it right over my heart.
"You heard it," I repeated. It had almost sounded like a question.
The startled twitch of his hand beneath mine settled it: Neji could finally hear my heartbeat.