"Your uncle wants to see me? Tonight?" My fingers twitched to my hair, anxiously pulling at the curled ends.

"Don't worry so much." Neji's calloused hands took mine and massaged little circles into my taut knuckles. "It's just dinner, not an interrogation session. Besides, I'll be there."

I'll be there. . .

Everything was so confusing now; these words should have made me feel better— which they had— but they'd also sent a fearful shiver down my spine. And if I thought my sense of time had been out of whack before, it was nothing compared to how numbly the weeks flew by me now.

Here we were, resting our backs against my bed, our arms gently brushing one another. Neji had been spending quite a bit of time in my room lately— he'd told me that the other members of his clan never bothered using their Byakugan to search this part of the Compound, which relieved a lot of the tension he usually felt when in his own room. I'd never argued with him, seeing as I valued privacy almost as much as he did.

This privacy, however, kind of scared me. Nobody was watching us— within this haven, we could do anything. As much as I tried convincing myself that our relationship had simply taken a more friendly turn, I really couldn't deny the sense of yearning that pervaded the air when we were around each other— which was all the time.

Sometimes, he'd touch me. I'd shrugged it off as casual at first, but when his fingers had one day traced my jaw, lingering at my chin, I knew I'd gotten myself in too deep. It hadn't stopped there, either: another time, after a typical training session, he'd slowly made his way over to me and planted a tender kiss on my forehead. Instead of stopping him, though, I'd let his lips rest there for a moment, while I'd mentally beaten myself.

I was so selfish. Leading Neji on like this was the most cold-hearted thing I could possibly do to him. Intimacy really wasn't an option when my past was hanging over the both of us like a bloodthirsty sword. I even felt like crying whenever he'd wish me a good night— because I knew I didn't deserve him.

But, being the jerk I was, I continued voicing my thoughts. "I don't want this to end, either," I whispered, so attuned to his thought pattern; he was thinking about this relationship as well. "But I want to protect Konoha, too."

I'd been in this village for almost two years, and I was still shocked at just how many friends I'd made: along with my team, I'd gotten to know various other shinobi and kunoichi, mainly those belonging to the age group of Hinata, one of Neji's cousins. I'd also developed strong bonds with Kakashi-sensei— who repeatedly insisted I just call him "Kakashi"— and a vast majority of the current Academy students, genin, and chunin. I'd even been asked to help train these kids, earning the trust that only their innocent, young spirits had the power to bestow. I truly enjoyed assisting others, too; it gave me such a sense of belonging that, sometimes, it was almost overwhelming.

My heart constricted at the thought that this could all be destroyed within the blink of an eye.

"Life isn't supposed to be fair," I said to myself, standing up. Already plotting my next episode of inner turmoil, I easily navigated my way to Neji's head and gave it a kiss.

He held my hand, as if trying to keep me rooted in this position. Oh, believe me, I'd like nothing more—

His lips were suddenly on mine, crushing them into wonderfully delectable shapes. I repressed the delightful shudders that urgently wanted to course throughout my bloodstream as his hands held me tightly to him; clutching at his shirt to keep myself from swaying against the heat of his mouth, I let him take over. He seemed only too willing, and he pressed me to the wall, knotting his fingers in my hair.

Keiden. . . you have to stop. You're hurting him.

I pulled away, a sob lodging itself in my throat at the truthfulness of that thought.

The icy metal of his forehead protector now rested on my feverish skin; I wanted nothing more at that moment than to be able to see what his eyes were telling me. His thumb, shaking slightly, was stroking my cheek.

"I know," I whispered, my voice quivering. "I know."

I know that we don't want this to end. . . I know that you're frustrated, that you're in pain. . . I know that what we're doing is so wrong— and yet, it feels so right. . . and I know that I'm a disgusting excuse for a human being.

"We should prepare for dinner," he said tonelessly.

Trying to make him feel better about my sadism, I pasted a small smile on my face.

He left without a word.

"I'm an idiot," I whimpered softly, sliding down to the floor and hugging my knees.

There was absolutely no excuse for my behavior; why, why was I only thinking of myself? Neji deserved much better than this, and here I was, torturing him because I simply couldn't say "no" to my stupid, carnal desires. If it hadn't been for this promise—

Don't think that. If it weren't for this promise, you wouldn't have become his friend in the first place. Is that what you want?

No. His friendship was my prized possession, as much as it stung me to admit it.

Thrmm-dmm, thrmm-dmm, thrmm-dmm. . .

"Keiden?" came Hanabi's voice from my doorway. "You okay?"

As feisty as this particular thirteen-year-old was, she could actually be quite kind. Her limber pulse made its way over to me, settling itself onto the floor.

"Worried about dinner with my father?" she said.

"A little." Giving her this half-truth wouldn't hurt her. "I've never really spoken to him before."

"Yeah, he can be kind of intimidating at times. . ." she mused. "So, um, I brought you something."

Piqued, I shifted myself so I was facing her, her breath tickling my hairline. "It smells like. . . silk?" I guessed.

She laughed. "Yup. It's a kimono. I've already outgrown it, but it's still in really good shape. I didn't think you had anything to wear to a formal meal, so I, um, was wondering if you'd like to. . . uh. . ."

This time, I laughed. Hanabi could be as awkward as Neji sometimes. "That's really thoughtful, Hanabi. I'd be honored to wear it."

She set the thick bundle of silk into my lap. "Okay. I'll just leave you alone, so you can change." She then stood up, but she made no move to walk away. "Unless. . . d'you need help. . .?"

As adamant as I was about taking care of myself, I was still a bit too distracted to worry about my pride. "That'd be great. I'll just wash up first."

After that, we spent much more time than necessary trying to figure out how to maneuver my arms through the stubborn sleeves and tie the proper layers with their corresponding sashes.

"You look so pretty!" Hanabi said, smoothing the material at my shoulders. "This is definitely your color."

"Huh?" What color was this kimono, anyway?

"Oh, sorry— I forget sometimes that you can't see. It's dark green. Like your eyes."

I blinked. "I didn't know that," I whispered.

"You didn't know your eye color?" Hanabi asked quietly, running her fingers through my still-damp hair. "But. . . but I thought you said you weren't born blind?"

"I think I was very, very young when I lost my eyesight— I know colors and shapes and basic human and animal forms, but that's pretty much it. I'm not really sure what I look like," I explained.

"Oh," she breathed, her heart becoming a little sad.

"It's okay—"

"Your hair's silver," she blurted. "And you have fair skin, like Neji. He doesn't have freckles, though."

I couldn't help but beam; especially coming from Hanabi, this gesture was extraordinarily sweet. "Thank you. That means a lot."

She sat down once more, pulling me right along with her. "Wanna know what Neji looks like?"

I considered it for a moment, thinking Neji himself would most likely never describe his physical features for me. "I'd like that."

"Okay. . . um, he has really long hair— oh, wait, you probably already knew that. . . but it's dark brown, just like mine. And, well, since he has the Byakugan. . . no, you knew that, too. I guess I'm not very good at this. . ."

"Keep going," I murmured.

". . . uh. . . he never smiles. . ."

"Never?" I coaxed gently. This was rather fun.

"All right, sometimes he does— but, most of the time, he just looks like he's eating a lemon."

I giggled. "Well, when does he smile?"

"When he's around you."

My heart sank, scraping the jagged ridges of my ribs along the way.

"Keiden?" Hanabi sounded very troubled now. "Hey, Keiden?"

I snapped out of it. "Sorry about that. . ."

"Did I say something wrong?" the teen asked, her own heart beating tentatively alongside her steadily developing lungs.

"No," I insisted. "No, everything's fine. Still a bit nervous about dinner, that's all."

"You wanna be alone now?" She wasn't fooled.

I felt around the air for a moment before wrapping my material-laden arms about her in a hug. "Thanks for everything, Hanabi. We should do this again sometime."

She sighed, patting my back. "Okay. Have fun tonight— and really, Father doesn't bite, just so you know."

"I'll keep that in mind."

She closed the door behind her, the thrmm-dmm quickly fading away.

I had some serious problems.

Buh-dummm, buh-dummm, buh-dummm. . .

Neji knocked on my recently shut door, his knuckles just the slightest bit hesitant. Combing my hair one last time with my fingers, I padded to the knob and twisted cautiously, my hands fumbling within the material of the too-long sleeves. I was soon greeted by the scent of lingering soap.

I could feel his gaze directed at my new outfit; he was probably considering the obnoxious sleeves almost as much as I was. "Hanabi lent it to me," I explained, rolling the silk at my arms and berating myself for not thinking of this earlier.

The moment my hands became free, he took one in his own. "Ready?"

I nodded, growing edgy all over again as I violently forced myself not to caress his palm with my thumb.

We silently made our way to where I knew the small dining room was, and the unmistakable sound of Lord Hyuga's lub-dub pulsed throughout my ear canals from the other side of the door.

"Welcome." He seemed polite enough, but the might behind his heartbeat still made me wary. "I don't believe I've ever properly introduced myself. I am Neji's uncle, Hiashi Hyuga." There came a faint rustling noise level with my chest. Completely guessing at where this was going, I raised a hand, my fingertips suddenly brushing Hiashi's own.

I shook his hand. Phew. "Pleased to meet you, Lord Hyuga. I'm Keiden." Grateful I'd managed to say that without squeaking in fear, I relaxed by a few degrees.

He gave a low laugh. "I see my nephew's been giving you a few pointers about our ways. I'm impressed." I didn't bother mentioning that I'd only learned to address Lord Hyuga as such because I was a chronic eavesdropper; my nerves were a bit too fraught for that. "Come. Let us dine, shall we?"

Though I'd grown used to eating with chopsticks, I was stressing out about dropping my food all over the place and embarrassing everyone. So many things could go wrong here— and the fact that I could feel Hiashi watching my every move only made matters even more tense.

"So, Keiden, is it?" The clan leader began. Hmph. . . and Neji said this wasn't gonna be an interrogation session. "I'm interested to learn of your background."

Was he mocking me? "Begging your pardon, my lord, but I'm sure you're well aware that I have no recollection of my background," I said quietly.

"Then what of your current training?" he shot back darkly. "As far as I know, you seemingly possessed remarkable skill even before coming into Konoha—"

"Training hones one's strengths, sir." That much was clear.

"But why must you continue to hone yours? You claim you have no background—"

"Uncle," Neji interjected.

"Let me finish. You claim you have no background, which must also mean you have nothing to protect, nothing to pledge your allegiance to. Am I correct?" His words made me feel so very small, but I wasn't about to give up this fight.

"Yes." I paused. "And no."

"Oh?" he inquired sharply.

"While it's true that I don't have a past, the fact that I have nothing to protect is most certainly not true."

"Then who is it you're working for?" Hiashi asked.

"I work for nobody," I said, brewing with timid confidence.

"I'm finding that difficult to believe," he muttered.

His head's about as thick as his nephew's! "Isn't it obvious?" I whispered. "I train hard, each and every day, so that I may be strong enough to take down any threat."

"But you also pose a threat." His tone was dripping with triumph.

"Which is why I asked Neji to make a promise for me— a promise even you, my lord, can't plead ignorance of."

For once, Hiashi didn't say anything. Afraid that I'd gone too far, that I'd infuriated the Hyuga clan leader beyond all comprehension, I attempted to pay penitence.

"This village is the only family I know— and that includes this clan. It's all I want to protect, sir."

". . . I. . ." Seriously, were all Hyuga's socially inept? "I apologize for misjudging you."

"There's no need," I insisted. "Your concern is understandable."

And it was— he did seem daunting at times, but his desire to protect his own family was only natural. Heck, if I were responsible for the welfare of an entire clan, I'd be menacing, too.

Hiashi cleared his throat. "Neji, why didn't you tell me before just how. . . spirited your friend was?"

The younger Hyuga's pulse ran off track for half a second, as if the man containing it had been lost in thought this entire time. It was then that I realized our thighs were touching.

"Forgive me, Uncle, but could you repeat that?"

And just like that, I'd survived dinner with Lord Hyuga.

The lub-dub was soon above our heads and making its way toward the door. "Keiden, I'm grateful that you decided to join us tonight. However, I hope you will not mind my speaking to Neji alone for a moment."

"Of course not," I answered, meeting Hiashi at the doorway. "And the pleasure was mine, my lord."

The instant the door clicked behind me, I shoved my fingers into my ears and removed them in rapid succession, producing the most aggravating ringing noise that blocked out all others.