Yay for irregular chapter lengths! Also, yay for random suit-wearing to venues that do not really call for suit-wearing. Also squared, here marks the beginning of where I mess a little with Asgard history and life to make Loki's past full of angst (though, quite a bit is true) Also times 3, thanks to the outpouring of support from y'all, it is truly amazing! And one last also for the Supernatural and Star Trek references (see if you can find them!). Okay, you can read now. Review because I love them!
Evee: You should know better than to try and goad answers out of me like that but...let's just say Tony may or may not be found out by Pepper and/or Avengers/SHEILD but he probably won't die. Maybe (Fury's a kinda a loose cannon). You'll just have to read and find out ;P
This chapter (and the next) title brought to you by a popular 'King and I' song.
Chapter Three: Getting to Know You, Getting to Know All About You
Tony fiddled with his tie, his hands were too nervous to be of actual use. He donned the green one because it made him feel more comfortable for some reason that certainly wasn't because it was close to the same electrical hue as Loki's eyes. But now that he was wearing it, he suddenly realised that his suit might be too presumptuous for their little date.
He checked his Rolex watch, which he donned for another reason entirely that wasn't because he wanted to impress Loki. 4:59-not enough time to change. Damn, he was going to look dumb, wasn't he?
"My, you look sharp," he jumped around in time to see Loki-in a rather expensive sleek black Armani suit as well, thank god-check him out. "I dare say you clean up nicely,"
"Yeah, thanks. Uh, you look..." like sex on legs his mind wanted to say while he desperately wanted it to shut up. He couldn't be thinking like this. Not about Loki. "What are you doing here so early?" Way to make him feel appreciated, Tony.
The quicksilver flash in his eyes made him wince. But Loki's smirk only grew. He took a step forward. "I reserve the right to be punctual. Do you need a hand?"
I prefer your mouth was supplied by his ever so helpful brain still stuck on gutter mode before he could really process what was said. Thankfully the rest of his body was being stupidly sluggish and couldn't respond as fast as his mind. "Uh, what?" Great, now he just sounded like a Neanderthal.
Loki's smirk twitched in barely contained laughter at him as he sighed exaggeratedly, crossing the remaining distance between them to retie his tie for him. "Honestly, Stark, I know you can be a brilliant man by Midgardian standards, but sometimes I truly wonder why I bother with you-" He stopped suddenly, brows drawn in frustration and waved his hand to finish the tie with his magicalness. "I am flattered, though, by your choice,"
Tony snorted. "Please. Nothing holds a candle to you and you know it," he said and holy hell, why did his body decide now was just a marvellous time of all times to cooperate? He chose now to spend the next moment admiring his complicatedly woven knot around his neck. Really, he didn't even know it was physically possible to tie a tie like that. It was so...impressive and elegant-
Loki coughed, drawing his attention. "Be that as it may, our food is getting cold," He snapped his fingers and teleported them to a lush green and gold world glittering with all things fair and bright. It took Tony's breath away. He knew at once this mystical place was far too ethereal to be housed on earth-much like Loki himself.
Well, duh. He mentally smacked himself in the head. He wasn't having a lot of luck today with the whole...brain thing.
"Are we on Asgard? Don't you think taking me to your childhood home is a little too forward for our first date?"
His teasing brought a painful smile to Loki's face and the ugly beauty of it made him begin to splutter apologizes. "No," he said softly, looking off in the distance as if he was seeing something Tony couldn't. ...Which was altogether likely when he thought about it. Damn. His brain really was gone.
"You had a right to ask-to know," his hands tightened for a minute as if they wanted to make a fist and the wind seemed to pick up speed before he finally relaxed. Tony realised his lungs had been holding O2 hostage without alerting him to their decision in that moment.
"This is Asgard-as created from the workings of my mind and sorcery. Even if I had wanted to go back to my...as you say, 'childhood home' with you, I have not the means and I daresay I would not be welcome any longer," his gaze turned cold and Tony quickly looked around for a distraction.
"Hey!" he cried, louder than necessary when he finally did find it. It jolted Loki. "What's with all of the food? I don't think that even Thor could make a dent in all this,"
Loki scoffed haughtily. "Thor's appetite for food is a mere pittance to his penchant for drink. I, after all, was the one who ate just as fiercely as Logi, the personification of wild-fire itself,"
"I guess you're also more into the sweets than he is, huh?" he asked cheekily, swiping his finger over the whipped cream topping on one of many fabulous looking pies. He popped it into his mouth and moaned appreciatively. It may be only magic, but Loki could cook up some fine magic treats. "Mm, bet that means you're the kinkier one, too,"
He made a disgusted face at that. "I sincerely hope you do not frequently visualize sex with my not-brother,"
Tony choked on the goblet of wine he started to sip on-Loki knew him so well. "God, no. Sure, he's attractive for some and all, but doing him would be like doing the Cap," he shuddered, in case he didn't comprehend the total horror that would be, and put down his now drained cup. Plus, he was pretty sure that neither blonde knew anything about sex between men and he just didn't like teaching while fucking-took the whole point of it away. "Besides, I like my partners to have a certain...thrill about them," he winked, in case he didn't comprehend the hint he was giving out. Not that he had anything to worry about once more. He and Loki seemed to be on par with most everything.
God in question raised an elegant eyebrow. "And do I meet your standards, Mr. Stark?"
Formal names for their formal wear, he could dig that. "You're the reason why they exist with such high expectations, Mr. Laufeyson," Because Stark wasn't an idiot, he did his research and made sure not to bring up the "not-family" as Loki put, otherwise they probably wouldn't be on such playful footing. Or, perhaps, any footing in his case if Loki was the type that liked to rip limbs off one by one in his anger.
Thankfully, he received merely a toothy smile in return. Good choice, Tony. "Shall we?" he gestured to the entire table laden with a great deal of tempting choices.
"Desert first?" he asked excitedly. He was allowed to be a child every now and again. Besides, it was his fault for pretty much setting up an entire build-your-own-sundae section. He was asking for it.
"What else?" Loki retorted, settling himself on one end with all the pies looking very much happy there. Right, Stark. Didn't we just establish the whole sweet-tooth thing?
Whatever. He had ice cream and sprinkles on his mind, it was excusable.
By the time he had created the ultimate sundae of his dreams, a despairing thought occurred to him. He looked up, horrified beyond all belief at the pure evilness of his thought, at the God sitting across from him with three empty pie plates between them. "Please tell me this isn't all made up in your mind so nothing is truly substantial and we're not really eating any of this,"
"Do you truly think me that cruel?" he asked off-handedly, but Tony sensed a great well of anticipation hidden deep within him as if he really wanted to know Tony's answer.
So Tony answered honestly without seeming as if he cared. He figured Loki would expect that out of him, maybe even prefer it. "I wouldn't put it past you if you had the mind to prank someone who deserved it," he shrugged.
Loki stilled and eyed Tony like he eyed his next pie. Truth be told, he felt a little nervous. Then he cocked his head slightly. "Do you trust me?"
He was pretty sure that it was because of the sudden and intense intimacy of the question that something hit him hard in the stomach and took his breath away from him because he would forever deny that he let loose an involuntary "yes" as quiet as the wind filtering through the trees on his own accord.
Or maybe not, if it meant that Loki would preen like the way he was right now just for another moment longer. Everything seemed brighter in the world and greener for a second-and how could he believe that a place was more magnificent than Loki for even a heartbeat?
But then the light dimmed and Loki carried on eating as if nothing happened. He cut into a new pie-chocolate-and regarded Tony with an aura of supreme smugness while Tony was still blinking as if someone had snatched away the sun from him after he had gazed upon it for minutes on end. "Well, you shouldn't," he said simply and that was that.
"You better eat that before I do-or it melts," he threatened, gesturing with his spoon inching closer as his warning. Tony shook his head to gather his wits and dug in as quickly as he could, sticking his ice-cream-covered tongue out at him in spite. Loki reached across, like the lunge of an attacking viper, and sucked his morsel off as clean as he did with the spoon.
"100 points to me," he cheered happily.
"Wait-what? How come? That's not fair!" he spluttered, crossing his arms. "It's not even your turn,"
"Ah," he corrected, holding a knowing finger up with a mischievous glint. "But this is still under my tag so anything I do is additional bonus points under the creativity clause that you proposed, may I remind you,"
"Damn, I knew that was going to haunt me. Especially when you agreed to it so quickly," he muttered.
"Also, you offered the opportunity to me, so, alternatively, it could be considered as your tag that I cooperated in," he paused, and then added in a voice like velvet, "I am willing to give you 25 points in the name of sportsmanship, if you like,"
"Yes, thank you," Tony said politely, hoping it would help curry more favour. Never let it be said that Anthony Stark had no sense of decorum or manners-he simply couldn't be bothered to use them most of the time. "Remind me again, what are the details of your tag in the first place?"
Loki took a long sip from a nearby goblet, smacking his lips thoughtfully. If Tony didn't know any better, he would have thought the God was trying to stall for time to compose a response. "You seemed to be of the opinion that I needed someone to communicate with-to confide in, and, as you are...not entirely wrong and appear more than willing to put up with my antics and nature so far, I have great many athing to...get off my chest, as it were," he cleared his throat afterwards and looked down at his mostly untouched plate of chocolate pie.
And Tony waited for him to continue.
And waited some more.
"You know," he began after yet another awkward amount of time had passed, leaning in conspiratorially-like. "These things generally work best when there is actual talking being done."
"Shush, you," he said with only a mild glare, more like the glare of a kitten, but he did pick up where he left off. Tony, 1. Loki, 0. "I am preparing my life story. You will do well to cease mocking me,"
"Me, mock you? Never," he gasped. Glare turned up a few degrees. "Why, don't you trust me?"
Somehow he knew that the fierce, burning, heated look that crept into Loki's eyes wasn't completely directed at him, or at least he hoped it wasn't. But it was fleeting, flickering back to normal-a warm, amused lime green instead of this brooding, Kelly green and no, he did not memorize the shades of the colour green charts to pinpoint Loki's eye colour; green just was his first choice for the Iron Man suit...-and tempered with something that looked like desperation. And Tony knew exactly what that looked like. A few months ago, he was in quite the pickle himself.
Any way, Loki seemed to have resolved whatever inner struggle he was going through and sighed with his shoulders. "You must understand, Stark, before I begin, that I have entrusted no one with this knowledge and would be content to have it remain so forever were it not painfully clear that I am ill-equipped to handle this by my lonesome. The pains and trials of Loki have always been the laughs of the many and the," he swallowed. "Utter hell of the one."
"Yes, I get it. Anyone with half a brain knows you have issues," he waved off his melodramatics, wanting to get right to the juicy parts. The stuff he didn't know.
"Stark," he could hear very clearly how his throat closed up with agony and felt a little guilty over his hastiness. "Please do not make me regret this choice,"
"I'm sorry," he reached out and squeezed the hand he found. "Sometimes I say things before I realise it and sometimes these things make me sound like an insensitive ass when I don't entirely mean to be. Go on. I promise I won't say another word,"
Loki gave him a sideways glance as if he could tell that he most likely wouldn't be able to keep that promise and was debating whether or not it was really worth it again.
He took a deep breath and plunged in. "When every Æsir child is born, they are presented to Odin, the AllFather, whereupon he touches the child's forehead and sits upon his throne for three days and three nights to glimpse the child's future. When he has viewed enough or the time reaches completion, he returns the child and gives it its title. He tells no one but Frigga, his true wife, what he has seen and whether by magic or strength of will, she tells none. But," he closed his eyes, squeezing them tight for a minute and sighs. "For my birth, once rescued that is, he told not even her of the atrocities he must have seen and proclaimed me God of Lies and Trickery before the moon rose on the first night.
"From then on, my fate was sealed. For how could I live a normal, contented, peaceful life when all treated me with caution-if not outright disgust and hatred-for the dark prince of Asgard?" he spat at the ground. Tony simply watched in rapt sympathy, biting his tongue for now.
"I believe I would not know what love is if I had been without Frigga's incessant mothering," the small smile on his face softened the blow of his harsh-sounding words. "She loved me for some reason, despite my apparent cruel nature and, I suppose, Odin did too-when he was able to forget whose son I really was.
"I remember him trying to pretend like it wasn't obvious who he favoured. I know you think that I see this all in hindsight, but even then, as a mere child, I could feel the bitter pang I would deny for many years. Between my own denial and his attempts, he succeeded in blinding me from everything. Out of love, he says. For the good of Asgard, he says. But what good is his falseness, what did he hope to accomplish with his game of loving me when the only thing he could hide from me was my Jötunn heritage and the fact that he only took me for my potential political bargaining-chip power? What was the point he was trying to make? Why did he ruin my life?
"Why do I still care?" he dove his face into his hands and shook like a chihuahua on speed. It was too quiet for him to be sobbing, but Tony got up to comfort him anyway.
Well, the best that Loki would allow him to. He didn't think that the answers swirling around in his head to Loki's rhetorical and very angry questions would be welcomed very much. Like, maybe it wasn't a game and Odin really did love you in his fucked-up way of showing it and maybe he only said that because he didn't think you would simply accept that everything he did was out of love. And he definitely would not take too kindly to the thought that he still cared because, deep down inside, Loki still loved Odin like a father and missed him. He knew that because his father's own video confession still made him ache the way Loki was right now on a much smaller scale.
Damn, they really were quite similar.
"I'm a monster!" he half-cried, half-shrieked, flinging one hand out to stop Tony from coming any closer and shielding his face from view with the other. "I am that which has no heart. I am that which reigns over the nightmares of Æsir and mortals alike. I am that which would kill my own kin without mercy. I am he who would destroy entire realms; I am he who will unleash the Ragnarök!"
Tony pressed on, a silent frown marring his forehead as he peeled Loki's hand from his face. His trembling increased sevenfold, but he resigned himself to meeting his piercing stare with red-rimmed green ones.
"How can you bear to look at the face of such evil?" he rasped.
Tony held his grim look with one of his own. "Once upon a time, there was a lonely boy desperate for his father's attention. He never felt worthy of his love or approval. Then, the boy's father died and he was placed in the care of one of his father's good friends. This man gave him the love and attention he had always craved, so the boy was willing to do whatever it took to keep his love.
"Well, the boy grew up and caused the deaths of millions by his military inventions because of that-so many deaths that he was known as the Merchant of Death. People said that he didn't have a heart, that he could never have had a heart to begin with, too. Which is part of the reason why they also loved to hate him and tried to find any way to make him out to be some horrible person, but he simply played the part and preformed just as they expected him to-until the day his foster-father tried to have him killed. Twice.
"The young man survived on pure luck and genius alone, and because of his trials, learned and continues to learn many important lessons. Not the least of which was learning his true purpose in life and how to find his heart.
"His name was Tony Stark," he let Loki digest his story in patient silence. It was probably the longest time Tony had sat still in his entire life.
"Loki-" he finally said once some normal colour came back to the God.
"Yes?" he murmured, sounding like he was still mulling over a lot of things.
"I'm going to kiss you now, and the both of us are going to forget about whatever issues we may have for the next...hour or so, okay?"
"Yes," he hissed, much more alive after his declaration. He turned to face Tony finally, green eyes glinting with the need for distraction. "I like that idea very much."